Posted: 5/31/2015 8:54:17 PM EDT
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The chief sammich maker is out galavanting with other sammich makers in the white trash capitol of the southeastern United States, so I am left to my own devices.
I was craving some man meat, and not just any man meat--homemade Chipotle would be the only way to satisfy my cravings for man meat. 
Fee, Fi, FOOOOOOO But first . . . the soundtrack for tonight: 
Marinade in process: 
Blended: 
Man meat victims of my micro-aggressions: 
Prepping the Baltimore riot kit: 
Man meat retrieved from cryo chamber: 
Riot in progress: 
Agressees following a patriarchal, chauvinistic, white man's, meta-aggression: 
Brown (NOT white, imperialist aggressor) Rice ready: 
Hashbrown casserole, cuz 'MERICA: 
The dinner pic, complete with EDC and a Kalashnikov I acquired from a Mexican gentleman after escaping a FEMA death camp on the Texas border following imprisonment by allied SOF at a Jade Helm infected Walmart led by Eric Holder and festooned with 87 BATF agents who smuggled the weapons to said Mexican gentleman: 
Tonight's feature: 
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Recipes used (adapted from here):
Chipotle Chicken Marinade 1 (2 ounce) package dried ancho chiles 1 (7 ounce) can chipotle pepper in adobo sauce (discard chipotle pepper, skim out seeds) 1 teaspoon black pepper 2 teaspoons cumin powder 2 tablespoons fresh oregano, chopped 6 cloves garlic 2 teaspoons salt 1 red onion, quartered 1/4 cup oil (canola/vegetable/olive) 1 whole boneless, skinless naturally raised chicken (about 3 lbs, thighs work well too) 1 lime Soak dry chilies overnight in water, until soft. Remove seeds. Add chilies and rest of the ingredients in blender or food processor. Puree until smooth. Stab chicken with fork to let the marinade soak in. Beat chicken with a meat tenderizer to get each breast to be the same consistency throughout. If you're marinating overnight, you won't need to stab it too much. If you're marinating for an hour, stab it all over. Spread marinade over chicken, refrigerate for one hour or up to overnight. After marinating, grill on medium high. Chipotle's Basmati Rice Recipe 3 teaspoon vegetable oil or butter 6 tsp. fresh cilantro 2 cup white basmati rice 3 cup water 1 ½ teaspoon salt 3 Limes In a 2-quart heavy saucepan, heat oil or butter over low heat, stirring occasionally until melted. Add rice and lime juice, stir for 1 minute. Add water and salt, bring to a full rolling boil. At boiling, cover, turn down to simmer over low heat until rice is tender and the water is absorbed, about 35 minutes. Fluff rice with a fork and add cilantro before serving. |
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Quoted:
Sorry but that soundtrack is auto 0/10 If you were a teenage girl it might make sense  Um, yeah this. Dude. What the holy fuck? I'll tell you one thing, you've got a set of brass balls on you to post that playlist here on Arfcom, unless you're planning on sacrificing your account in a dick pic blaze of glory or something. |
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Naturally raised chicken? You've got to be fucking shitting me.
You realize where you are, right? Start spouting shit like "free range", "naturally raised", "GMO-free", and "No MSG"; you might as well be wearing a fucking dress. 
see all that juice on your cutting board? That means you didn't let the meat rest for long enough before cutting it up. let that shit rest for 5 minutes under a foil tent before cutting. Those juices should be IN YOUR CHICKEN; NOT on your cutting board.
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