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AR15.COM
4/13/2015 1:06:00 AM EDT
... the final drink went down "as smooth as sand paper."

What is your favorite saying when it comes to drinking? Bonus points if you have a clever saying that says it's time to sober up.



Any drinking wisdom is fair game for this thread. Drink recipies are a major bonus.



One of my favorites:
"Drink doubles until you see triple, and think you're single" -some blues musician
4/13/2015 1:07:56 AM EDT
[#1]
I know when to stop drinking, when the bartender says, "Get the fuck out or I'll call the fucking police!"

I know a guy and that happened to him.

I was at church choir practice.
4/13/2015 1:11:53 AM EDT
[#2]




When I drink alone I prefer to be by myself


4/13/2015 1:12:54 AM EDT
[#3]
Gramps has two good ones.





"acqua marcisce il pali" - Directly translated - Water rots the poles (Like the pier supports) - Basically water rots wood, so drink wine/liquor instead.


"Acqua ruggine gli ponti" - Directly translated - Water rusts the bridges - Same as above


 


Edit : My favorite one : "Butti la bottiglia giù, e troverai Gesu" - Its a rhyme and it means, throw the bottle down and you'll find jesus.
4/13/2015 1:15:13 AM EDT
[#4]
lol, I have nothing witty to say, I just like to drink
4/13/2015 1:17:24 AM EDT
[#5]
Liquor before beer and you're  in the clear, beer before liquor and you'll never beer sicker.
4/13/2015 1:18:00 AM EDT
[#6]
Quote History
Quoted:
I know when to stop drinking, when the bartender says, "Get the fuck out or I'll call the fucking police!"

I know a guy and that happened to him.

I was at church choir practice.
View Quote

Lol.



I like neghiborhood bars, but It's trouble when everyone knows your name.
4/13/2015 1:19:58 AM EDT
[#7]
Three games in a row were I underperform, I quit gaming then three or four drinks after that I pass out for the night.  Hanging out in team speak and drinking with my friends at home has saved me a lot of cash versus going out to a bar for the same social experience.
4/13/2015 1:20:49 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote History
Quoted:
Liquor before beer and you're  in the clear, beer before liquor and you'll never beer sicker.
View Quote

I've had to relearn that lesson a few times...
4/13/2015 1:23:41 AM EDT
[#9]
I know to quit drinking after three, I don't often heed my own wisdom.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
4/13/2015 1:28:04 AM EDT
[#10]

Quote History
Quoted:





I've had to relearn that lesson a few times...
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Quote History
Quoted:



Quoted:

Liquor before beer and you're  in the clear, beer before liquor and you'll never beer sicker.


I've had to relearn that lesson a few times...




 
By the time bar close comes around I have switched back and forth so many times, along with countless shots that it really doesn't matter. It's going to be a 2 day recovery period.




I had a stretch where I did not know when to cut myself off (on weekdays nonetheless) so I just quit heavily drinking for a while. A beer with supper or such, but no more bars for a while.




I used to quit when I felt like puking but that doesn't come soon enough anymore.




I got one. When you start mixing with sprite because it looks more like water - it's time to quit.
4/13/2015 1:31:07 AM EDT
[#11]
Shit, too many.

Puke, then find somewhere to pass out.
4/13/2015 1:37:44 AM EDT
[#12]
4/13/2015 1:52:39 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote History




That is the exact reason I haven't touched a drop of alcohol in two years.
4/13/2015 2:08:45 AM EDT
[#14]
When you have to hang on to the floor to not fall off.
4/13/2015 2:24:34 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote History


Take anything after 2?
4/13/2015 2:53:18 AM EDT
[#16]
Sorry I only drink when I need to forget something at work.  Tequila is a new favorite, followed by Vodka.  
4/13/2015 3:10:18 AM EDT
[#17]
If you have to force down the last bit of your drink, you should have already quit.  

Same goes for eating.  If you have to force down the last bite, you should have already quit.
4/13/2015 3:22:52 AM EDT
[#18]
When I can physically not stand.
4/13/2015 3:23:24 AM EDT
[#19]
4/13/2015 3:35:35 AM EDT
[#20]
You only go around once...might as well go around shitfaced.
4/13/2015 4:30:13 AM EDT
[#21]
Martinis are like tits, ones not enough and threes to many!
4/13/2015 4:35:35 AM EDT
[#22]
When I feel like I have liver failure
4/13/2015 7:55:39 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote History
Quoted:

Lol.



I like neghiborhood bars, but It's trouble when everyone knows your name...
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Quote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
I know when to stop drinking, when the bartender says, "Get the fuck out or I'll call the fucking police!"

I know a guy and that happened to him.

I was at church choir practice.

Lol.



I like neghiborhood bars, but It's trouble when everyone knows your name...


...and you've never been in that bar before.
4/13/2015 8:08:41 AM EDT
[#24]
Beer, liquor, order or quantity doesn't matter. However, forgetting this has caused me to bow to the porcelain gods several times:
The biggest mistake you'll ever make, is to mix grain and grape..

(Wine and liquor do not mix...)
4/13/2015 8:12:32 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote History
Quoted:
Beer, liquor, order or quantity doesn't matter. However, forgetting this has caused me to bow to the porcelain gods several times:
The biggest mistake you'll ever make, is to mix grain and grape..

(Wine and liquor do not mix...)
View Quote


Brandy proves that isn't true.
4/13/2015 8:14:10 AM EDT
[#26]
I quit drinking when my hair feels funny.
4/13/2015 8:18:36 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote History
Quoted:
You only go around once...might as well go around shitfaced.
View Quote







For me, I gave it up when my blood sugar level was 325 during a physical exam. My doctor said that I can control my glucose level or drink alcohol, not both.
4/13/2015 8:19:38 AM EDT
[#28]


Quote History
Quoted:

When I feel like I have liver failure
View Quote


The liver is evil and it must be punsihed!
4/13/2015 8:23:03 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote History



Stop drinking before this describes the mother of your child.
4/13/2015 8:30:21 AM EDT
[#30]
My parents never knew I drank until I came home sober.
4/13/2015 8:41:53 AM EDT
[#31]
Here is to the girl in the little red shoes,

She takes all my money and drinks all my booze.

She does not have a cherry and we know that is a sin

but she still have the box that the cherry came in.
4/13/2015 8:53:16 AM EDT
[#32]
I am not sure yet.  I got tore up Friday Night.
4/13/2015 8:56:02 AM EDT
[#33]
...when I can no longer spell Mississippi without getting my tongue all tangled up.
4/13/2015 8:58:19 AM EDT
[#34]
I know it's time to stop when my eyeballs start operating independantly from each other.
4/13/2015 9:01:17 AM EDT
[#35]
my fav drinks are mixed drinks, jack and coke, jaeger bombs, rum and coke etc etc...

As the night goes on the mixer:alcohol ratio starts to curve exponentially towards the alcohol... when I take a sip of my drink and wince from the alcohol.. its probably time to stop... because Im already pretty banged up...

That or my brother says "Are you still making drinks?!?!?... Im cutting you off" Me: "uh... yeah you're right "
4/13/2015 9:08:30 AM EDT
[#36]
I knew it was time to stop drinking when I discovered that my wife could not.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
4/13/2015 9:12:56 AM EDT
[#37]
You're not drunk if you can still hold onto the floor.
4/13/2015 9:44:10 AM EDT
[#38]
When I start dancing it's already too late
4/13/2015 9:48:37 AM EDT
[#39]
Whiskey on beer never fear, beer on whiskey pretty risky.
4/13/2015 9:49:41 AM EDT
[#40]
Liquor up front, poker in the rear.
4/13/2015 9:58:27 AM EDT
[#41]
Back in my younger and stupider days a few of us used to go on benders.  We'd take a week and just stay totally bombed William Holden style.  It was an intense balancing act because if you went too far you would crash and burn.  Not far enough and you'd get tired and bored.  You just had to hit that peak of intoxication that made the world your oyster while not getting you into such a shape the police had to do something about you for your own safety.  We got really good at it.  We took our bad act to the beach one time and the local PD actually came out to meet us on our last day, and they were keeping that close of an eye on us.  One officer complimented us on our ability to push it right to the edge and never step over into the area where they had to get involved.  He said it was some of the most impressive feats of drunkeness he'd ever witnessed.  The hotel maids stood on the balcony and waved goodbye when we left, as did many of the other hotel guests who were either living vicariously through our exploits or hiding their daughters.  



My most memorable quotes from those days?  "Coffee, honey, leave the pot."  "Argh! It ain't easy being a Pirate King."  "Hunker down boys."  "Yes, officer, he's with us.  Unless of course you want to keep him then that's cool too."  "We're old men, we need our medicine."  



One time we wound up in Jacksonville Florida talking to some guy who had somehow managed to get completely blown out of his mind and had made his way from somewhere in Arizona over the course of several days but wasn't quite sure of the details.  He was commenting on how upset his wife was going to be when he finally got home.  "My old lady, if she ain't sleeping she's bitching..."  
4/13/2015 10:24:02 AM EDT
[#42]
when that asshole on the other side of the sink tries to start some shit.
4/13/2015 10:27:51 AM EDT
[#43]
I once told a USAF psychiatrist that the way I knew if I was drunk was if I pissed my pants.

That little "joke" got my PRP certification pulled for a few weeks. I did learn how to wash airplanes though

4/13/2015 10:29:31 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote History
Quoted:
Liquor before beer and you're  in the clear, beer before liquor and you'll never beer sicker.
View Quote


My mothers version.

Liquor before beer, have no fear.  Beer before liquor, that's okay.
4/13/2015 10:36:37 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote History
Quoted:
When I start dancing it's already too late
View Quote




Too fucking true