[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Derp (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 3/25/2015 3:22:23 PM EDT
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got nailed by a parody site.
my bad. 
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Quoted: MSNBC correspondent Jeremy Lancaster sat down with government official Darrin Cornia to discuss recent rumors that have been in circulation in regard to registered motorcycle owners being placed on a classified FBI gang list. Darrin Cornia who currently holds a position within the National Security Branch of the government agreed to complete transparency prior to the interview with MSNBC’s Jeremy Lancaster and did remain direct and seemingly forthright throughout his conversation with Lancaster. After a few moments of introduction, Lancaster bluntly asked the following question,” Mr. Cornia, if I were to make the statement, all registered motorcycle owners are currently showing on a classified FBI gang list, would the statement be true or false? Cornia responded by saying, "That would be a true statement, the FBI has been collecting and compiling Department of Motor Vehicles and Drivers License Division records for the purpose of adding those that own motorcycles to a classified gang list since 1994. Lancaster asked Cornia to explain the reasoning behind the list which seems inappropriately broad, to Cornia answered the question with the following statement, "It’s nothing more than collecting and utilizing data. We may not like to admit it, but the truth of the matter is that those that own and operate motorcycles are 67% more likely to be involved in illegal or criminal activity than those that do not own or operate a motorcycle.” http://washingtonpost.com.co/fbi-admits-all-registered-motorcycle-owners-are-on-classified-gang-list/ In other news, all those with a "ccw license" or equivalent from their state is also on some similar list. |
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Quoted:
Subtle satire 
other headline and Quoted:
Subtle satire
other headline ISIS Endorses Ted Cruz For President, Cites Government Shutdown and George Zimmerman Announces 2016 Presidential Bid Didn't read the other headlines. I fell for it because it's absolutely plausible to me that they would do something like that. |
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Quoted:
I'm screwed. Motorcycle owner. CHP holder. NFA toy owner. ARFCOM Team Member. I guess I should call jail and make a reservation. They're already done that for you. Probably even picked out your roommate. You'll like him. Or should I say, he'll like you. A lot. |
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Quoted:
Lancaster asked Cornia to explain the reasoning behind the list which seems inappropriately broad, to Cornia answered the question with the following statement, “It’s nothing more than collecting and utilizing data. We may not like to admit it, but the truth of the matter is that those that own and operate motorcycles are 67% more likely to be involved in illegal or criminal activity than those that do not own or operate a motorcycle.” Wow, I bet that goes to 99.99% if you look at motorcycle owners with tattoos. 
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"Lists" are so 20th century.
Everyone has thousands of pieces of metadata associated with them. Each piece is a statistical part of the larger profile. Enough statistical pieces for a given red-flag profile show up with your name attached, you draw attention. CCW, Motorcycle, Buys X Ammo Monthly, Reads X, Y, Z, Surfs X, Y, Z website = Minor Threat. When the administration in Washington changes from Blue to Red, the threat profiles change with them. |
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Quoted:
They're already done that for you. Probably even picked out your roommate. You'll like him. Or should I say, he'll like you. A lot. Quoted:
Quoted:
I'm screwed. Motorcycle owner. CHP holder. NFA toy owner. ARFCOM Team Member. I guess I should call jail and make a reservation. They're already done that for you. Probably even picked out your roommate. You'll like him. Or should I say, he'll like you. A lot.     
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And I call myself an IT worker