Posted: 1/25/2015 8:05:58 AM EDT
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The wife (sorry no pics) and I just finished out 12th SHOT show. While we were perusing the aisles of all the really cool stuff, my wife began to notice a trend. She said, "Look at all these young fellows with the short haircuts, flannel shirts, bushy beards, goofy looking tattos and somewhat skinny jeans with a short cuff. Why are these guys adopting such a silly look?, she inquired. I hadn't noticed but when I started to pay attention, I noticed them too. I wasn't sure what this look was supposed to do for them. My wife wondered if it was a new look for homosexuals, as most of the guys sporting this look kinda had some homosexual features..
Either way, I did some research on the internet and found there is a name for this trend, Lumbersexuals. What's the purpose of the look? The wife opined that it definitely wasn't a look to attract women as she couldn't imagine any real women being attracted to that look. Anyway, what about it? Educate an old guy and his old wife. Found some pics on the internet for some examples: 
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What "features" do homosexuals have? A penis? Quoted:
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My wife wondered if it was a new look for homosexuals, as most of the guys sporting this look kinda had some homosexual features.. What "features" do homosexuals have? A penis? Semen in their facial hair is a dead give away. |
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What "features" do homosexuals have? A penis? Quoted:
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My wife wondered if it was a new look for homosexuals, as most of the guys sporting this look kinda had some homosexual features.. What "features" do homosexuals have? A penis? Being faggots?  (yanking the chain on another suspected DU troll "white-knighting"  )
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Hipsters 
I stole the quote below from this thread. Thanks XCRmonger!: Bearded Hipsters http://nickidaniels.com/2014/01/06/beardedhipsters/
The following is a blog entry from Nicki Daniels: YOU GUYS ARE RUINING MY BEARD FETISH. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve loved a man with a beard. To me, they meant strength, power, MANLINESS. Someone who could protect me. Unfortunately, you guys have turned it into a fashion statement. The beard has turned into the padded bra of masculinity. Sure it looks sexy, but whatcha got under there? There’s a whole generation running around looking like lumberjacks, and most of you can’t change a fucking tire. Look, I get it. I really do. I understand the motivation behind your beardedness. In fact, I even pity you. Thousands of years of evolution priming you guys to kill stuff, and chase stuff, and fuck stuff….and now what? You’re stuck at a desk all day. No battles to fight. No wars to wage. So you assert your masculinity the only way you know how. You brew beer. You grow some hair on your face. I’ve seen you, hipsters, sitting in downtown eateries, with your rock chick girlfriends, dipping your truffle fries, trying not to get the aioli in your mustache. I’ve seen the quiet desperation in your eyes. I know you’re screaming into the void. But I still hate you for it. You’re confusing me. It’s now on me to suss out who is the real man and who is the poseur. Sadly, I fear most of you are the latter. Before this explosion of whiskers on trendy men everywhere, if I saw a bearded man it was safe to assume certain things about him. Like, he probably owned a hammer. Or washed his hair with a bar of Irish Spring. His beard was probably scented with motor oil and probably had remnants of last night’s chili in it. But you vegan nancyboys are a different breed altogether. You have your mountain man scruff, but you maintain it. You groom it. With products. A quick google search of “beard grooming products” turns up literally thousands of articles explaining how to have the most lustrous beard possible. Take this one from Philadelphia Magazine, where they tested TWENTY DIFFERENT VARIETIES of beard oil. The result of this intrepid testing? “I’m talking softer, more manageable whiskers that hold their shape better and smell nice, besides. Doesn’t sound so bad put that way, does it?” Yes. Yes it does, you GIANT PUSSY. Am I reading “Cosmo”? What the fuck is going on here? Betty White has bigger balls than you. Look, I know I sound harsh, but I’m actually trying to rein myself in. A beard is meant to keep your face warm. Seriously, that’s it. You guys had your warm beards so you could go out and hunt us food, and we had our boobies with warm milk to feed the young’uns. That’s why I love beards. It is a natural, physiological response. I want a man who can keep me safe. How did it all get so twisted? I don’t want to go back to Cro-Magnon days. I’m glad we have more gender equality and I like not having to worry about being eaten by larger creatures. But I am calling for a moratorium on the hipster beard. I demand that you reach for a razor if any of the following are true: Your beard is accompanied by a bowtie or horn-rimmed eyeglasses. Why on earth do you want to look like Sigmund Freud? At least he could blame this strange look on his massive cocaine problem. Sometimes a cigar is just a douchebag. You grew a beard to be “ironic”. But you don’t exactly understand what “ironic” means, or why having a beard would be ironic if you did. You take time off from your entry-level graphic design job only to attend South by Southwest, take your French Bulldog to the vet, or lie on your futon and weep. You do not know what an Allen wrench is, but can explain, in detail, the difference between a macchiato and an Americano. There is an existing Instagram photo of you wearing a knit beanie and chewing on astalk of wheat. How’d you do, boys? Better go get your moisturizing shave gel. It’s time to stop playing at being a man. But don’t throw all those perfectly good whiskers in the trash. Give them to your upcycling, DIY girlfriend and let her decoupage some photo frames, or something. But please, just get rid of it. Another trend will soon come along to occupy your technology-addled attention span. And me? I have some beard-ogling to get back to. Thanks in advance, Nicki |
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Just think of the fabulous flannel shirts that will result from this fad! The down side is that stores will be full of poser work boots, worse than the sorry selection we have now unless this dies quickly. I've been wearing flannel shirts for decades and now I have to change so I don't look like an older version of one of these douches.  Lets start a non profit to give these douches chainsaws so they can kill themselves with them.
The shirts suck since these skinny assholes started wearing them. I love shirts made for hipsters douches. I like my shirts too tight in the shoulders and neck and too short to tuck in.
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Goddammit I like my long beard that I've had before these faggots made it "trendy" I don't want to have to change it not to be associated with them, though I never wear flannel and I actually work with my hands for a living. That and the GF would leave me, or so she says, if I cut off the beard.
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Quoted:
I've been wearing flannel shirts for decades and now I have to change so I don't look like an older version of one of these douches. Lets start a non profit to give these douches chainsaws so they can kill themselves with them.
The shirts suck since these skinny assholes started wearing them. I love shirts made for hipsters douches. I like my shirts too tight in the shoulders and neck and too short to tuck in. Quoted:
Quoted:
Just think of the fabulous flannel shirts that will result from this fad! The down side is that stores will be full of poser work boots, worse than the sorry selection we have now unless this dies quickly. I've been wearing flannel shirts for decades and now I have to change so I don't look like an older version of one of these douches. Lets start a non profit to give these douches chainsaws so they can kill themselves with them.
The shirts suck since these skinny assholes started wearing them. I love shirts made for hipsters douches. I like my shirts too tight in the shoulders and neck and too short to tuck in. I'm still wearing flannel shirts I bought when Gander Mountain was a catalog sales business and Cabela's was just getting a toe hold, and newer shirts I bought when I weighed 60 pounds heavier. They're loose and comfortable, and I like it that way. But you're onto something, get a new fad started and cash in. I'll have to go in blind supporting someone else's vision because I can never picture broad swaths of people adopting some of these goofy ideas. Hmmmm. Maybe lumbersexual is just one penny loafer away from a new preppie fad; get 'em out of flannel and into sweaters tied around their necks. Or how about this, tacticalpreppie, sweaters, bald heads, penny loafers, and 5.11 pants plus a cell phone holster carried IWB. Our flight sciences group is full of youngsters with a nerd look going on, but it's not going to catch on. I walk through there every day now to shed a few gray hairs in their aisle. |
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I'm still wearing flannel shirts I bought when Gander Mountain was a catalog sales business and Cabela's was just getting a toe hold, and newer shirts I bought when I weighed 60 pounds heavier. They're loose and comfortable, and I like it that way. But you're onto something, get a new fad started and cash in. I'll have to go in blind supporting someone else's vision because I can never picture broad swaths of people adopting some of these goofy ideas. Hmmmm. Maybe lumbersexual is just one penny loafer away from a new preppie fad; get 'em out of flannel and into sweaters tied around their necks. Or how about this, tacticalpreppie, sweaters, bald heads, penny loafers, and 5.11 pants plus a cell phone holster carried IWB. Our flight sciences group is full of youngsters with a nerd look going on, but it's not going to catch on. I walk through there every day now to shed a few gray hairs in their aisle. Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Just think of the fabulous flannel shirts that will result from this fad! The down side is that stores will be full of poser work boots, worse than the sorry selection we have now unless this dies quickly. I've been wearing flannel shirts for decades and now I have to change so I don't look like an older version of one of these douches. Lets start a non profit to give these douches chainsaws so they can kill themselves with them.
The shirts suck since these skinny assholes started wearing them. I love shirts made for hipsters douches. I like my shirts too tight in the shoulders and neck and too short to tuck in. I'm still wearing flannel shirts I bought when Gander Mountain was a catalog sales business and Cabela's was just getting a toe hold, and newer shirts I bought when I weighed 60 pounds heavier. They're loose and comfortable, and I like it that way. But you're onto something, get a new fad started and cash in. I'll have to go in blind supporting someone else's vision because I can never picture broad swaths of people adopting some of these goofy ideas. Hmmmm. Maybe lumbersexual is just one penny loafer away from a new preppie fad; get 'em out of flannel and into sweaters tied around their necks. Or how about this, tacticalpreppie, sweaters, bald heads, penny loafers, and 5.11 pants plus a cell phone holster carried IWB. Our flight sciences group is full of youngsters with a nerd look going on, but it's not going to catch on. I walk through there every day now to shed a few gray hairs in their aisle. I still think giving these guys chainsaws has a nice natural selection angle to it. The ones that kill themselves, eh the world is better off without them. The ones that maim themselves learn they aren't fooling anyone and the ones that manage not to hurt themselves gain a little more credibility. |
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Semen in their facial hair is a dead give away. Quoted:
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My wife wondered if it was a new look for homosexuals, as most of the guys sporting this look kinda had some homosexual features.. What "features" do homosexuals have? A penis? Semen in their facial hair is a dead give away. I lost it on that one! Well played sir! |
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Quoted: What "features" do homosexuals have? A penis? Quoted: Quoted: My wife wondered if it was a new look for homosexuals, as most of the guys sporting this look kinda had some homosexual features.. What "features" do homosexuals have? A penis? |
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I still think giving these guys chainsaws has a nice natural selection angle to it. The ones that kill themselves, eh the world is better off without them. The ones that maim themselves learn they aren't fooling anyone and the ones that manage not to hurt themselves gain a little more credibility. Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Just think of the fabulous flannel shirts that will result from this fad! The down side is that stores will be full of poser work boots, worse than the sorry selection we have now unless this dies quickly. I've been wearing flannel shirts for decades and now I have to change so I don't look like an older version of one of these douches. Lets start a non profit to give these douches chainsaws so they can kill themselves with them.
The shirts suck since these skinny assholes started wearing them. I love shirts made for hipsters douches. I like my shirts too tight in the shoulders and neck and too short to tuck in. I'm still wearing flannel shirts I bought when Gander Mountain was a catalog sales business and Cabela's was just getting a toe hold, and newer shirts I bought when I weighed 60 pounds heavier. They're loose and comfortable, and I like it that way. But you're onto something, get a new fad started and cash in. I'll have to go in blind supporting someone else's vision because I can never picture broad swaths of people adopting some of these goofy ideas. Hmmmm. Maybe lumbersexual is just one penny loafer away from a new preppie fad; get 'em out of flannel and into sweaters tied around their necks. Or how about this, tacticalpreppie, sweaters, bald heads, penny loafers, and 5.11 pants plus a cell phone holster carried IWB. Our flight sciences group is full of youngsters with a nerd look going on, but it's not going to catch on. I walk through there every day now to shed a few gray hairs in their aisle. I still think giving these guys chainsaws has a nice natural selection angle to it. The ones that kill themselves, eh the world is better off without them. The ones that maim themselves learn they aren't fooling anyone and the ones that manage not to hurt themselves gain a little more credibility. Someone will have to start a chainsaw for that bunch. |