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AR15.COM
12/16/2002 1:07:57 AM EDT
I finally got a good look at the door emblem on the Pink Suburbans parked in front of my building.  Mary Kay meets the [i]Federales[/i].
And they are staked out, waiting for me.  I have my BOB in my truck, but I don't think I'd make it that far.  They are parked between the front door and my truck.  I think I made a mistake, voting in that poll earlier.  I didn't know it was going to get this bad.
I just wrapped 550 cord around my tin foil hat, but I still can feel the rays penetrating.
Maybe they will get tired of me and go away?
12/16/2002 1:10:39 AM EDT
[#1]
Have someone bring you one of those old aluminum saucer sleds.....you can use that to reflect their mind-control beams back towards them while you make a dash for your car.  Alternatevly, a plastic saucer sled covered in tin-foil (don't forget, shiny side out) will work in a pinch.

FOTBR
12/16/2002 1:13:20 AM EDT
[#2]
They've got this place surrounded.  I don't think anybody could sneak through the perimeter.
Anybody got a helicopter?
12/16/2002 1:23:05 AM EDT
[#3]
This'll teach you not to dig an escape tunnel.



[:D]
12/16/2002 1:25:32 AM EDT
[#4]
My e-tool is in the truck too.  Would a plastic spork work to dig a tunnel?  I have to tunnel through several feet of concrete.
12/16/2002 1:29:55 AM EDT
[#5]
I don't think a plastic spork would hold up.

Do you have marbles to throw in front of them?
12/16/2002 1:32:39 AM EDT
[#6]
I left those at home too.  Did any of you send some relief platoons?
12/16/2002 1:34:09 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
Would a [red]plastic spork[/red] work to dig a tunnel?  I have to tunnel through several feet of concrete.
View Quote

LOL!
If not you could use it to fight your way out. After all, it is a 'multi-purpose tool'.

[BD]
12/16/2002 1:36:46 AM EDT
[#8]
Dude, you're way too paranoid. Just go on about your normal routine. Paint your face with camo and throw some ammo belts around your neck. Tie on a black bandana and peek out your front window and make your eyes real big and yell "FUCKIN' CHARLIEEEE!" If that doesn't make 'em leave pull a Rambo on 'em. Believe me, you don't EVEN want any helicopters flying around there. Might make you have flashbacks or something.
12/16/2002 1:37:32 AM EDT
[#9]
Good thinking!  I'll go dispath my enemies right now, before they expect me too.
Wish me luck!
12/16/2002 1:41:23 AM EDT
[#10]
OMG.
Martha Stewart is out there too.  She tried to tell me how I could decorate my tinfoil hat to make it look festive, and make my eyes stand out.  Then she tried to offer me a recipe book for only $19.95.
The rest of them shouted me back with cries of "evil gun nut!" and "why do you need an AK47 to go duck hunting?"
I need reinforcements if I ever am going to break out of here!
12/16/2002 1:52:41 AM EDT
[#11]
Man if you only had a sling shot and a can of cranberrys you could bust real good then call the DCC and report a small pox out break.
12/16/2002 1:54:24 AM EDT
[#12]
I have some cinnamon altoids and a rubber band.  Lemme try that.
12/16/2002 2:03:17 AM EDT
[#13]
If that fails,,,,, OMG I hope you don't have to call the DU emerg # 119 and report Gore haters have you surrounded!
12/16/2002 2:03:36 AM EDT
[#14]
Ok, I scared them off by flinging hypervelocity altoids at them.
I now have my BOB next to me, and am digging an escape trench.  They won't catch me so off guard next time!
12/16/2002 2:06:14 AM EDT
[#15]
Good that 119 number is a last ditch thing cause they can get you for false report.
12/16/2002 2:09:09 AM EDT
[#16]
Can't call out anyway.  I just went through the phone line.
12/16/2002 2:26:23 AM EDT
[#17]
Just don't cut your lifeline to ARFCom while doing all your digging.  Wouldn't want you to be completely cut off.
12/16/2002 2:28:34 AM EDT
[#18]
My tinfoil hat maintains a satellite link to AR15.com.  The 550 cord doesn't block the signal.
12/16/2002 2:35:22 AM EDT
[#19]
100 MPH tape seems to make me invisible when wearing my hat.  Just be sure to use OD.

And where's your pro-mask!!??

Altoids?  THAT worked?  The norm is TUMS (they have the added Calcium).  Hmmm....could be that they're building resistance.

12/16/2002 2:43:59 AM EDT
[#20]
Yes, these must have been green troops, fresh to the front.
However, I don't think their more experienced friends are going to take kindly to me running them off so easy.
How do you break out of a Rolling Box?
12/16/2002 2:45:38 AM EDT
[#21]
Use your enemy's tactics to your advantage -

Make some origami Santa Claus napkins and placemats and throw them out of the window.

That'll keep the little yellow Martha Stewart bastards occupied long enough with the reverse engineering for you to get clear of the kill zone.
12/16/2002 2:49:28 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
Use your enemy's tactics to your advantage -

Make some origami Santa Claus napkins and placemats and throw them out of the window.

That'll keep the little yellow Martha Stewart bastards occupied long enough with the reverse engineering for you to get clear of the kill zone.
View Quote


Damn.....this man knows his stuff.  Subvert?

12/16/2002 2:49:31 AM EDT
[#23]
So I can call off the [heavy] 'Hot Extraction' ?  


12/16/2002 2:54:00 AM EDT
[#24]
Osprey, you can stand down, but keep the rotors turning, in case you need to hot launch.
12/16/2002 2:57:32 AM EDT
[#25]
I bet that the TAPCO nuclear protection tarp would protect you.
12/16/2002 2:58:52 AM EDT
[#26]
Have I entered the twighlight zone? [whacko]
12/16/2002 2:59:55 AM EDT
[#27]
Like in King of the Hill?  When the tunnel was dug under Hank's house?

Quoted:
This'll teach you not to dig an escape tunnel.



[:D]
View Quote
12/16/2002 3:05:45 AM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
I bet that the TAPCO nuclear protection tarp would protect you.
View Quote


Absolutely.  It would.
12/16/2002 3:13:01 AM EDT
[#29]
while to cost is clear stow that plastic spork and make dash to the truck for your E tool.

Man you could be the first on block to have a confirmed kill with a E tool.


PS, if you make it out have gb update the spell check, it doesn't know what a spork is.