[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Tastless joke thread (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 12/26/2013 7:48:47 PM EDT
| Lets hear your tastless and or dirty jokes... |
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Florida State kid comes home from college tells dad he met a great girl
Florida State Son " Dad, I love her, she is beautiful, smart and, dad, she is a VIRGIN. I want to marry her". Florida State Dad " Hmmm. Son. You say this girl is a Virgin?" Florida State Son " Yes Dad. She is pure and sweet and a VIRGIN". Florida State Dad " Son, I can't let you marry this girl , " if she ain't good enough for her family, she ain't good enough for our family". 
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Quoted:
If you google "Hitler meme images", you come up with some funny but tastless jokes. http://parody.justincrawford.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/nazi-jokes-hitler-meme.jpg 
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What does it taste like when you go down on an old woman?
depends..... I like my coffee like I like my women. without a dick.... A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked." |
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Quoted:
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked."
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What's the first thing a Woman does when she gets home from the battered Women's shelter? The dishes if the bitch knows what's good for her. What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Matt. Did you know that Helen Keller had a full-sized doll house to play with in her backyard as a child? Neither did she. Why don't liberal women breastfeed their children? It hurts too much to boil the nipples. I'll be here all week folks....:) |
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A priest and a rabbi are walking by a school. The priest says, "hey, let's go over there and fuck one of those kids"
The rabbi replys "Fuck him outta what?" A black boy returns from his first day of third grade and his dad asks about his day. "Daddy, how come my penis is so much bigger than all the other little boys" The dad says "well son, it's probably because you're 16 years old" |
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Quoted:
A priest and a rabbi are walking by a school. The priest says, "hey, let's go over there and fuck one of those kids" The rabbi replys "Fuck him outta what?" A black boy returns from his first day of third grade and his dad asks about his day. "Daddy, how come my penis is so much bigger than all the other little boys" The dad says "well son, it's probably because you're 16 years old" A priest, rabbi, doctor and lawyer were on a plane with a boys scout troop when the pilot comes over the Intercom and announces the plan is going down. the doctor says "save the children" The lawyer says "fuck the children" The rabbi says "out of what" And the priest says "do we have time" |
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Quoted:
A priest and a rabbi are walking by a school. The priest says, "hey, let's go over there and fuck one of those kids" The rabbi replys "Fuck him outta what?" A black boy returns from his first day of third grade and his dad asks about his day. "Daddy, how come my penis is so much bigger than all the other little boys" The dad says "well son, it's probably because you're 16 years old" 
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What did Christie McAuliffe say to her husband on the morning before the space shuttle Challenger disaster....
"Honey you feed the dog and I'll feed the fishes"... Why did NASA have Pepsi Sponsor the shuttle program after Challenger..... Because they couldn't get 7UP.
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Just saw this one on Ray Donovan recently, I think, though I'd heard it before. Guy comes home to find his girlfriend angrily packing her bags, tears streaming down her face. He asks her "Hey, baby, why are you so upset and why are you packing your bags? Can't we talk about this?" "I found out that you're a pedophile, and that's just disgusting!", she says. "Whoah, whoah, whoah. P e d o p h i l e? That's a big word for a 10 year old!", he exclaims. |
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Q. What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarreah?
A. One 'shucks between fits'...!!! Q. What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? A. One has 'hope in her soul'..!. Q. What's the difference between a girl's track team and a band of Aborigine's? A. One is a 'bunch of cunning little runts'...! 'ello, what?! 
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