Posted: 11/24/2013 5:54:16 PM EDT
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Lately my deer hunting has morphed itself into guarding corn. This is what happens after watching "A Few Good Men" and spending hours in the stand.
Col. Jessep: Son,we live in a world of corn,and that corn has to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Peta? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the venison,and you curse the corn guarders. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That venison death, while tragic, probably saved corn. And my existence,while grotesque and incomprehensible to you,saves corn. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that stand,you need me in that stand. We use words like rut,sitting,estrus. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending corn. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who eats cream of corn and shucks cobb that I provide,and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you,and went on your way, Otherwise,I suggest you pick up a weapon,and guard some corn! Either way,I don't give a hoot that you don't eat veggies! My wife just doesn't get it. Thought I'd share it here |