Posted: 11/24/2013 7:05:04 AM EDT
|
OK Ladies...here is the deal. We don't friggen read your profiles. We look at your photos. Period. I know there are even professional profile writers out there you can pay to write your profile. Why friggen bother? All the damn profiles sound the same anyway. Sheesh. You want to get laid like the rest of us; so just say that. If it turns into a longer term relationship all well and good. But damn. And your profile names; lose the Little Bo Peep crap. SunnyFarmGirl....MissLoveyDovey...get over it. And the worst; if you are posting photos of your fucking dag or cat or horse...immediate eject. I don't fucking care about your dag or horse or whether or not you visited Paris. I am not dating your dag and I am not taking your ass to Paris on a first date. You want a free meal, go to the fucking soup kitchen. Also, the only photos I want to see are hot photos; short skirts, heels, low cut stuff. Got it. |
|
Quoted:
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/user/ZekeMenuar1/media/992what-do-you-like-most-dick-eharm.jpg.html" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v145/ZekeMenuar1/992what-do-you-like-most-dick-eharm.jpg</a> Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not havin much luck ehh? <a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/user/ZekeMenuar1/media/992what-do-you-like-most-dick-eharm.jpg.html" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v145/ZekeMenuar1/992what-do-you-like-most-dick-eharm.jpg</a> 
|
|
Quoted:
These are the things I need to know and only need to know 1. Are you good looking? 2. Are you Bisexual? 3. Do you swallow? 4. Do you do anal? 5. Do you have money? And either a preponderance of or enthusiasm in any number on that list can move it higher on the importance scale. The converse is also true. |
|
Quoted:
6. Do you have an Ex in prison? Quoted:
Quoted:
These are the things I need to know and only need to know 1. Are you good looking? 2. Are you Bisexual? 3. Do you swallow? 4. Do you do anal? 5. Do you have money? 6. Do you have an Ex in prison? 7.. Need to run a credit check on you also |
|
here is my profile text, I do get some interesting replies..Bwhahaha It does seem to cut down on the fatties and the ditzes. YMMV Sorry ladies, no glamor shots for me to put up, mostly work related or some vacation pictures. I don't consider myself photogenic so I don't have a library of stuff to put here. I have been working overseas, in drilling operations and now home but not sure when I will go back. I do know I will go back just not sure when. I don't ask for much. I don't do confrontation with a woman very well, it is not in my nature. Not to say I am a push-over rather I am agreeable to most things unless I distinctly say "NO". Then at that point it is a non-retractable position. I would like a working woman and with kids is OK too. I just don't want to be looked upon as an ATM and would prefer to share equally in financial responsibilities if something moves into a long term relationship. I've made a few mistakes in my life and I'm trying not to repeat too many of them. Also I am not asking your kids out on a date, I am asking you. I understand your kids are important as are mine, but if you cannot differentiate your life at this point from parent time and adult time, well then don't waste my time. I have moved from San Diego to SC. So I don't really know my way around much, but I can go places and not get lost! I'm 6' 200# (working to get back down to 190#), blonde hair, blue eyes and easy on the eyes. I grew up on the beaches of Newport and surfed most my life. So I do show my age (too much sun). I'm not really a social butterfly and very selective over whom I call a "friend". So that makes for a not very active social life. This does not imply that I am socially inept as quite the opposite. I just tend to be blunt with people when they begin talking out of their asses. You certainly don't have to agree with me on all things and I will respect your position on subjects that differ from mine as long as you are able to articulate them in a concise manner. I do have my own home, which I putter about trying to keep up with it and I'm a bit out in the country but not too far. It even has a pool that isn't above ground (surprise face here). I do like and own guns. That comes from being overseas for the last 7 years where they are nothing more different then being a hammer or screwdriver, as in a basic tool. Politically I would say I am a financial conservative and a social libertarian. I cannot relate to liberalism or progressives so if those are your stances on politics it will never work as I will secretly regard you as being deluded. My perfect or ideal partner? Let's just say nobody is perfect and I'm not looking to change anybody. At our age we both know that we are who we are, that is not to say I'm not willing to learn or be taught new things about relationships, myself or other peoples views. Reaching mutual agreements over issues without drama would be nice. No scratch that, it is imperative. Other then that, we all make our own mental lists of "good" and "bad" about people we meet and then determine if it is something workable. None of those things can be determined online. Online profiles are simply a way of figuring out if meeting for coffee won't initially turn out to be a horrendous experience. I'm 49, my kids are grown, I do not want to make any more babies, nor can I anymore (snip-snop). Although I still like to practice making babies. I am not attracted to overweight women, sorry not being shallow just the way I am wired regarding libido. Nor am I interested in anybody that is over 75 miles away unless an exceptional match. I'm not here looking to get a one night stand. It would be nice to meet new people from the area and give me a reason to iron a shirt and dress nice. I drink, smoke and cuss but have been raised properly enough to know when and when not appropriate to do any of those things. I am far more charming in person then online. I just prefer to put all my obvious faults out in the forefront. If you read this and make contact then I at least know we could initially get along and have a good laugh. |
|
Quoted:
here is my profile text, I do get some interesting replies..Bwhahaha It does seem to cut down on the fatties and the ditzes. YMMV Sorry ladies, no glamor shots for me to put up, mostly work related or some vacation pictures. I don't consider myself photogenic so I don't have a library of stuff to put here. I have been working overseas, in drilling operations and now home but not sure when I will go back. I do know I will go back just not sure when. I don't ask for much. I don't do confrontation with a woman very well, it is not in my nature. Not to say I am a push-over rather I am agreeable to most things unless I distinctly say "NO". Then at that point it is a non-retractable position. I would like a working woman and with kids is OK too. I just don't want to be looked upon as an ATM and would prefer to share equally in financial responsibilities if something moves into a long term relationship. I've made a few mistakes in my life and I'm trying not to repeat too many of them. Also I am not asking your kids out on a date, I am asking you. I understand your kids are important as are mine, but if you cannot differentiate your life at this point from parent time and adult time, well then don't waste my time. I have moved from San Diego to SC. So I don't really know my way around much, but I can go places and not get lost! I'm 6' 200# (working to get back down to 190#), blonde hair, blue eyes and easy on the eyes. I grew up on the beaches of Newport and surfed most my life. So I do show my age (too much sun). I'm not really a social butterfly and very selective over whom I call a "friend". So that makes for a not very active social life. This does not imply that I am socially inept as quite the opposite. I just tend to be blunt with people when they begin talking out of their asses. You certainly don't have to agree with me on all things and I will respect your position on subjects that differ from mine as long as you are able to articulate them in a concise manner. I do have my own home, which I putter about trying to keep up with it and I'm a bit out in the country but not too far. It even has a pool that isn't above ground (surprise face here). I do like and own guns. That comes from being overseas for the last 7 years where they are nothing more different then being a hammer or screwdriver, as in a basic tool. Politically I would say I am a financial conservative and a social libertarian. I cannot relate to liberalism or progressives so if those are your stances on politics it will never work as I will secretly regard you as being deluded. My perfect or ideal partner? Let's just say nobody is perfect and I'm not looking to change anybody. At our age we both know that we are who we are, that is not to say I'm not willing to learn or be taught new things about relationships, myself or other peoples views. Reaching mutual agreements over issues without drama would be nice. No scratch that, it is imperative. Other then that, we all make our own mental lists of "good" and "bad" about people we meet and then determine if it is something workable. None of those things can be determined online. Online profiles are simply a way of figuring out if meeting for coffee won't initially turn out to be a horrendous experience. I'm 49, my kids are grown, I do not want to make any more babies, nor can I anymore (snip-snop). Although I still like to practice making babies. I am not attracted to overweight women, sorry not being shallow just the way I am wired regarding libido. Nor am I interested in anybody that is over 75 miles away unless an exceptional match. I'm not here looking to get a one night stand. It would be nice to meet new people from the area and give me a reason to iron a shirt and dress nice. I drink, smoke and cuss but have been raised properly enough to know when and when not appropriate to do any of those things. I am far more charming in person then online. I just prefer to put all my obvious faults out in the forefront. If you read this and make contact then I at least know we could initially get along and have a good laugh. What's your number? 
|
|
I got a bit to watch that. Thanks. |
|
OP is FULL OF WIN!
I keep seeing that shit. I don't want to see your horse, your dog(s) or your cat(s). I'm (potentially) interested in YOU. Not where you have been. Not what music you like. Not what TV shows you like. I DO read your profile, if you don't fuck up the picture part of the deal. And for fuck's sake single mothers, posting pictures of your kids (of them, not WITH them) is CREEEEEEPY. We're not interested in dating your kids. |
|
............................................________
....................................,.-'"...................``~., .............................,.-"..................................."-., .........................,/...............................................":, .....................,?......................................................, .................../...........................................................,} ................./......................................................,:`^`..} .............../...................................................,:"........./ ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../ ............./__.(....."~-,_..............................,:`........../ .........../(_...."~,_........"~,_....................,:`........_/ ..........{.._$;_......"=,_......."-,_.......,.-~-,},.~";/....} ...........((.....*~_......."=-._......";,,./`..../"............../ ...,,,___.`~,......"~.,....................`.....}............../ ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-" ............/.`~,......`-...................................../ .............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__ ,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-, .....`=~-,__......`,................................. ...................`=~-,,.,............................... ................................`:,,...........................`..............__ .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==`` ........................................_..........._,-%.......` ..................................., |
|
I totally gave up on all online dating sites. The amount of poon I got for the amount of effort involved (and money spent in the case of eharmony) made it the most expensive poon of my life. Really I'd have gotten a better deal off a high tier Vegas call girl.  But I kind of like it when a woman posts pics of her interests. They serve as warnings and guideposts. If she posts pics of her horses then it means that (a) we share a common interest, since I like horses, too, (b) she's insane but that also means insane in the sack, and (c) never give her your right name, phone number or address. Give her the number to your throwaway phone and consider renting a car when you go visit her, so she can't get her buddy in the DMV to get your address for her using your tag number. Online dating is a bigger scam than even scientology. |
|
Quoted:
I totally gave up on all online dating sites. The amount of poon I got for the amount of effort involved (and money spent in the case of eharmony) made it the most expensive poon of my life. Really I'd have gotten a better deal off a high tier Vegas call girl.
But I kind of like it when a woman posts pics of her interests. They serve as warnings and guideposts. If she posts pics of her horses then it means that (a) we share a common interest, since I like horses, too, (b) she's insane but that also means insane in the sack, and (c) never give her your right name, phone number or address. Give her the number to your throwaway phone and consider renting a car when you go visit her, so she can't get her buddy in the DMV to get your address for her using your tag number. Online dating is a bigger scam than even scientology. If it flies, floats or fucks.. Its cheaper to rent. That is.. and always will be, the truth. |
|
Quoted: OP is FULL OF WIN! I keep seeing that shit. I don't want to see your horse, your dog(s) or your cat(s). I'm (potentially) interested in YOU. Not where you have been. Not what music you like. Not what TV shows you like. I DO read your profile, if you don't fuck up the picture part of the deal. And for fuck's sake single mothers, posting pictures of your kids (of them, not WITH them) is CREEEEEEPY. We're not interested in dating your kids. Pet Essay:Two ungrateful cats both strays. If 1./2 your profile pictures are your animals..seek help. Seriously I love my pets and they are often more reliable than people. However, I again am not asking your dog or cat on a date. Think about that a moment. Faith: I don't go to church but I will respect your desire to do so. I respect all religious beliefs except Islam. All I ask is your respect for me to not subscribe to your particular flavor of belief. Yes I did religious studies in College. |
|
That is really cool. |
|
Quoted:
here is my profile text, I do get some interesting replies..Bwhahaha It does seem to cut down on the fatties and the ditzes. YMMV Sorry ladies, no glamor shots for me to put up, mostly work related or some vacation pictures. I don't consider myself photogenic so I don't have a library of stuff to put here. I have been working overseas, in drilling operations and now home but not sure when I will go back. I do know I will go back just not sure when. I don't ask for much. I don't do confrontation with a woman very well, it is not in my nature. Not to say I am a push-over rather I am agreeable to most things unless I distinctly say "NO". Then at that point it is a non-retractable position. I would like a working woman and with kids is OK too. I just don't want to be looked upon as an ATM and would prefer to share equally in financial responsibilities if something moves into a long term relationship. I've made a few mistakes in my life and I'm trying not to repeat too many of them. Also I am not asking your kids out on a date, I am asking you. I understand your kids are important as are mine, but if you cannot differentiate your life at this point from parent time and adult time, well then don't waste my time. I have moved from San Diego to SC. So I don't really know my way around much, but I can go places and not get lost! I'm 6' 200# (working to get back down to 190#), blonde hair, blue eyes and easy on the eyes. I grew up on the beaches of Newport and surfed most my life. So I do show my age (too much sun). I'm not really a social butterfly and very selective over whom I call a "friend". So that makes for a not very active social life. This does not imply that I am socially inept as quite the opposite. I just tend to be blunt with people when they begin talking out of their asses. You certainly don't have to agree with me on all things and I will respect your position on subjects that differ from mine as long as you are able to articulate them in a concise manner. I do have my own home, which I putter about trying to keep up with it and I'm a bit out in the country but not too far. It even has a pool that isn't above ground (surprise face here). I do like and own guns. That comes from being overseas for the last 7 years where they are nothing more different then being a hammer or screwdriver, as in a basic tool. Politically I would say I am a financial conservative and a social libertarian. I cannot relate to liberalism or progressives so if those are your stances on politics it will never work as I will secretly regard you as being deluded. My perfect or ideal partner? Let's just say nobody is perfect and I'm not looking to change anybody. At our age we both know that we are who we are, that is not to say I'm not willing to learn or be taught new things about relationships, myself or other peoples views. Reaching mutual agreements over issues without drama would be nice. No scratch that, it is imperative. Other then that, we all make our own mental lists of "good" and "bad" about people we meet and then determine if it is something workable. None of those things can be determined online. Online profiles are simply a way of figuring out if meeting for coffee won't initially turn out to be a horrendous experience. I'm 49, my kids are grown, I do not want to make any more babies, nor can I anymore (snip-snop). Although I still like to practice making babies. I am not attracted to overweight women, sorry not being shallow just the way I am wired regarding libido. Nor am I interested in anybody that is over 75 miles away unless an exceptional match. I'm not here looking to get a one night stand. It would be nice to meet new people from the area and give me a reason to iron a shirt and dress nice. I drink, smoke and cuss but have been raised properly enough to know when and when not appropriate to do any of those things. I am far more charming in person then online. I just prefer to put all my obvious faults out in the forefront. If you read this and make contact then I at least know we could initially get along and have a good laugh. I'm not sure you want "ATM" as a term anywhere in your profile. |
|
She's fat. |
|
Most women aren't dating online to get laid. Even fatties can get laid fairly easily. They actually are looking for more.
I agree with not putting pics of your kids in your dating profile. It's just weird and so many women do it. Fucking stop it. I disagree about posting sexy pictures. If you post whorish pictures, you're a whore. Not interested. Post nice pictures. And yeah, women pic stupid names for their online profile. It is telling. So many princess fantasies have evidently never been fulfilled. |
|
Quoted:
You're too generous! 1 out of 10. childish rant. No wonder he can't can't a date! Quoted:
Quoted:
5/10 You're too generous! 1 out of 10. childish rant. No wonder he can't can't a date! Put FBHO in there somewhere and I'll give OP a 3/10. Put FBHO in profile and I'll give OP 5/10. |