Posted: 10/12/2013 4:43:06 AM EDT
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Here we post some of our dog stories. Funny, sad, inspiring, whatever.
A man I used to work with (call him Ken) just had an affinity for dogs. Any dog would become his friend. I've seen him make friends with the meanest junkyard dog in existence. Sort of like Riddick, with his hellhound ("It's an animal thing.') So Ken goes to visit some hippie types for Thanksgiving. These guys have gone back to nature in a big way: cabin way back in the woods, gotta have a 4x4 to get there, grow their own food,etc. They had a mangy old German Shepard that immediately became friends with Ken. Became his best friend, followed him around, slept by his bed,e tc. etc. Now these kids had bought a turkey to eat for Thanksgiving. But when November came around, no one had the heart to kill the bird. So the job went to Ken. The dog sat down with an adoring look as he sharpened the axe. Ken grabbed the bird. Dog sat down with an adoring look. Ken found a stump, put the bird's neck across the stump, and swung the axe... ...and the last Ken saw of the dog was his rear-end sneaking around the corner of the house! He figured he'd be next! |
| When Pheasant hunting 20 years ago with my brothers, a Coyote came out of the brush and ran down a small waterway between me and my brothers. After the Coyote went passed, I turned and shot it 3 times, killing it. My brothers dog went up to the coyote, sniffed it, looked at me and went over behind my brother. The dog staye away from me all day long. |
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Not me, but the old family German Shepherd did something cool once.
Pittsburgh, mid 1980s. My dad is driving along and has come to a stoplight. His male GSD, Tommy, is sitting in the passenger seat, curled up as usual. This black dude comes running up to the car and grabs the car door handle (sumbitch was trying to carjack my dad). Tommy rears his head up and gives the would be carjacker a good view of his teeth. The carjacker is absolutely terrified at this point and nopes right the fuck out of there. |
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When I was growing up we had an Akita named Nala. She was a dog, but looked like a damn bear. I was probably 8 or 9 at the time, but my sister had a smaller cat she named "bootsy" because it was black with white paws, that made him look like he had boots on. Well Bootsy hated Nala, and Nala gave no fucks towards the cat, but always wanted to play. We tried to keep them away from each other for the most part, but of course the cat would get lose every now and then.
So, this day Bootsy gets loose, and Nala gets the cat on his back and is just rubbing her nose on his stomach trying to "play" with the cat. This 12lb cat became the spawn of Satan in less than 2 seconds when this happened, he jumped up on the couch and got on top of the railing for the stairs where Nala couldn't get to her. Waited about 2-3 mins when Nala was looking the other way and jumped on her back digging all of his claws into her back. Nala at the time was just over 100lbs, and was running all over the house freaking out trying to get this cat off of her back, knocking the christmas tree over, dining room chairs, and lamps while her fur was flying all over the place. She finally managed to get the cat off, and just ran away. Ever since that day, Nala would run as far away and as fast as she could to get away from that cat whenever she saw him. I've never seen such a big dog, so afraid of such a small cat. The cat fucked with Nala for 10 years chasing her in the house and up and down the stairs, kinda wish I had recorded it now lol. |
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An American guy came to Fort McMurray and he wound up giving me his bulldog. Now this dog has some interesting quirks:
When you salute her and say, "Semper Fi", she will snap her head and sit rigidly at attention. And if you put a rifle on the ground, she will sit next to it at attention until you tell her to stand down. She will wag her tail like crazy if you tell her, "dog you're a credit to the Corps" and she will hang her head in shame if you call her, "a rotten, dirty commie" Bimba will also take a dump on command. All you have to say is, "Obama". Yes if you yell "Obama", the dog will take a dump. And that takes me to my story. I took the dog to my wife's office and one of her co-workers is a stupid liberal fuck. Mr. SLF has a picture of Obama on the outside of his office divider and when we entered the office, Bimba went right up to Mr.SLF's office divider and she took a very large and smelly dump right in front of the Obama picture. I did not say "Obama", but Bimba took a dump anyway. Mr. SLF was very upset and I told him not to complain. I said, "there's your free shit" I pretended to be mad at the dog; however, she refused to hang her head. Like a good Marine, she sat proudly at attention. |
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I have a couple...
Black lab (Deke). We rented a house in Logan, Ut that had a tiny mom & pop grocery 1/2 a block away. Pretty common to see foot traffic carrying groceries. Deke asks to go outside one dark night. He busts through the front door just as I see a man walking away swinging a loaf of bread. Deke runs past the man snatching the bread as he goes! The victim and I chase the dag for 10 min before cornering him on a porch. Victim found the whole affair amusing and would not take money from me. Yellow lab (Sigasaurus Rex). Watches more tv than I do. Monitors every program for any bird or four legged creature. Barks viscously at tv screen when any qualifying creature makes an appearance. Which is every fucking five minutes! One day, Sig destroys 40" Samsung trying to catch a rabbit on the screen. While chasing the dag with intent to kill, I realize I now have an excuse to replace the too small 40" tv. Win! Good boy! |
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Quoted:
I have a couple... Black lab (Deke). We rented a house in Logan, Ut that had a tiny mom & pop grocery 1/2 a block away. Pretty common to see foot traffic carrying groceries. Deke asks to go outside one dark night. He busts through the front door just as I see a man walking away swinging a loaf of bread. Deke runs past the man snatching the bread as he goes! The victim and I chase the dag for 10 min before cornering him on a porch. Victim found the whole affair amusing and would not take money from me. Yellow lab (Sigasaurus Rex). Watches more tv than I do. Monitors every program for any bird or four legged creature. Barks viscously at tv screen when any qualifying creature makes an appearance. Which is every fucking five minutes! One day, Sig destroys 40" Samsung trying to catch a rabbit on the screen. While chasing the dag with intent to kill, I realize I now have an excuse to replace the too small 40" tv. Win! Good boy! My friends dog does the same thing. He will watch the animal planet and his dog will lunge at the TV any time there is a cat or a bunny. Funniest thing. She is too small to do damage so we encourage it. |
| One more about Deke the black lab. We've left UT for upstate NY. Deke & I are fishing off of a T shaped concrete pier on Cayuga lake. I'm fishing for Atlantic land locked salmon. I, being the fish god that I am, am catching everything. Some clown, who can't catch shit, sees me and takes the position next to me. He still can't catch shit. I catch a 36" lake trout @ 15lbs. I go to release the fish and the clown begs me for it. He puts it on a long rope stringer in the water between the bank and the top of the T. A short time later, I hear a commotion, and the clown is screaming at the water. I look and my dag is swimming around with the fish in his mouth which is tied to the dock. I try to regain control of the dag. Clown threatens to hurt the dag. Fuck him! I scare the clown and let Deke chew on the fish until he got tired. |
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A few nights ago the wife and I are watching tv pretty late, the 3 dogs are sleeping, except the youngest she stands and starts a deep woof woof woof at very low volume towards the kitchen, she also starts looking at our big male in between barks,
I am like well fuck she is freaked out about something. I lean forward and in the shadows of the spare bedroom which is our cat room I see two glowing eyes staring back. The dog is seeing one of the cats eyes and it's strange and new. She was worried for a few. I could literally tell dozens of dog and animal stories. Ever seen a rabbit fuck a kitten? I have, at Knob Creek Range many years ago. When I was 18 or 19 me and some buddies went to go shoot. there was a batch of kittens all chewing on and playing with an old buck rabbit that was big as fuck. We go to line up and shoot and a buddy screams at the top of his lungs "HOLY SHIT THIS BUCK RABBIT IS RAPING THIS KITTEN" Apparently the buck rabbit had some playing of it's own it wanted to do. It grabbed that kitten and jack hammered it for a solid 15 seconds, then curled up and went to sleep. |
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Quoted: When I was growing up we had an Akita named Nala. She was a dog, but looked like a damn bear. I was probably 8 or 9 at the time, but my sister had a smaller cat she named "bootsy" because it was black with white paws, that made him look like he had boots on. Well Bootsy hated Nala, and Nala gave no fucks towards the cat, but always wanted to play. We tried to keep them away from each other for the most part, but of course the cat would get lose every now and then. So, this day Bootsy gets loose, and Nala gets the cat on his back and is just rubbing her nose on his stomach trying to "play" with the cat. This 12lb cat became the spawn of Satan in less than 2 seconds when this happened, he jumped up on the couch and got on top of the railing for the stairs where Nala couldn't get to her. Waited about 2-3 mins when Nala was looking the other way and jumped on her back digging all of his claws into her back. Nala at the time was just over 100lbs, and was running all over the house freaking out trying to get this cat off of her back, knocking the christmas tree over, dining room chairs, and lamps while her fur was flying all over the place. She finally managed to get the cat off, and just ran away. Ever since that day, Nala would run as far away and as fast as she could to get away from that cat whenever she saw him. I've never seen such a big dog, so afraid of such a small cat. The cat fucked with Nala for 10 years chasing her in the house and up and down the stairs, kinda wish I had recorded it now lol. My dad got a rescue Rottweiler some years ago. She was a body shop dog, living at the shop for a deterrent. Well she hated uniforms and Obama's sons, a lot. Once the postman came to the shop and no one was in front so he strolled into the back and she bit him in the ass. Strike One. Well the postman calls the cops who were doing animal control at the time here and they go to the shop to have a talk to the owner about the vicious dog. No one is up front so Mr Policeman (Black guy) strolls into the shop, well this was just too much for her to resist, Strike Two. She literally ripped the pants off the cop. (this was back in the day before they shot every dog they saw) EDIT: you had to go through closed doors and a gated chain link fence to get in the shop. So anyway she was too much of a liability so they had to get rid of her and they gave her to my dad. She was sweet as can be unless you had a uniform or tried to get in his van. No Postman got near their front door because she would raise hell as soon as the truck pulled into their cul de sac. |
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Quoted:
[div style='text-align: left;']my new puppy needs open heart surgery Sorry to hear of your pup's condition. Hope all goes well. Did the vet say it may heal itself? I've heard of things like that happening. |
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Quoted:
Sorry to hear of your pup's condition. Hope all goes well. Did the vet say it may heal itself? I've heard of things like that happening. Quoted:
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[div style='text-align: left;']my new puppy needs open heart surgery Sorry to hear of your pup's condition. Hope all goes well. Did the vet say it may heal itself? I've heard of things like that happening. i'm giving the vet a call monday to ask what i might expect if i decide to just let it play out |
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When I was a lad we had a Dobie named Senta, one of the damn smartest dogs I have ever had. Anyways we had a small front porch with about 3 steps leading up to it with a railing that was directly opposing to the front door. It was a very small front porch with maybe 4' of landing in front of the door. Summertime we would leave the door open with the wooden framed screen door closed. Forgot to mention Senta would goes full ballistic if the front doorbell rang and tear ass full speed to the door. JWs come knocking and Senta in typical mode goes code red full speed snarling bare teethed gnashing right up to the screen door and bounces up on her hind legs going eye to eye with two gents in their white shirts and black ties. All without coming in contact with the screen door but micro inches away from touching it. I mosey up to the door and tell her to sit. In front of me are two guys backed against the porch railing in total disregard of the bougainvillea bushes wide eyed and ashen in color. I promptly push on the screen door and ask what they wanted, upon realization that the door was not latched and just spring hinged they stammered a bit counted their blessings I suppose, and nervously excused themselves for bothering me. Girl scouts, door to door salesmen you name it all got the same treatment from Senta and all had the same facial expressions upon realization that the screen door had no latch. Much hilarity for many summers. |
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My girlfriend at the time wanted me to help her rescue (steal) a dog that was chained up outside a mobile home and sadly neglected. The dog was skinny, had a severe flea infestation, and was generally miserable. So we drove up in my convertible, grabbed the dog, threw it the back seat, and took off down the road. I was going 40 mph and glanced at the rear-view mirror, only to see the dog up on the trunk, staring back at me with these 'OH SHIT I THINK I REALLY MESSED UP' look in its eyes. Before I had time to hit the brakes, the dog slid off the trunk onto the road, it's little claws scrambling for traction as the wind overpowered it. I saw it hit, bounce twice, roll four or five times, and finally get up, limping slightly at it ran back to the car. The poor thing stayed in the floorboards the rest of the trip to its new home, where it was taken care of, loved, and presumable lived a better life. Girlfriend dumped me shortly after. I guess she got what she really wanted. Bitch used me to provide her with a surrogate child, knowing full well that I didn't want kids. I mean, we talked about this! But I'm not bitter. Not at all... |
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When I lived in Alpine San Diego we had three dags, Rocky (big ass rottie) Chang (tough ass black Chow Chow) and Odie (a 12# chihuahua). Odie was the early warning radar of the three and Rocky and Chang were like the 3rd ID door kickers. Neighbors black lab wanders down our driveway, Odie signals intruder alert and Rocky and Chang proceed to throw down a serious beat down on the lab. I was in on the second floor yelling out the window for Rocky and Chang to stop as I actually thought they were going to kill the Lab. Lab takes off running for his life and Rocky and Chang finally decide maybe they should listen to me and go from kill mode to "Oh shit I think we are in trouble mode". Not fucking Odie though, he goes after the poor Lab full speed yapping his head off. About 20 mics later I get a phone call from a neighbor down the road asking if I own a fawn colored Chihuahua. I hesitantly admit to ownership and the nice lady explains that her dog is tore to shit and she needs to take him to the vet and that Odie had chased him home all the way up to their doggy door. I tell her I'll drive over ricky tick to pick up Odie. I arrive and their dag is fucked up nine ways to sunday with deep punctures everywhere including his shwanze. I apologize and give her my name and offer to pay the vet bill. She declines and says if her dag got his ass handed to him by a chihuahua he deserved it. I said nothing. |
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My granddad was Sheriff of the county I grew up in. When he was first elected (1950), one of my uncles got a new German Shephard they named Buddy. My granddad was never much of a big animal person, but for some reason he and Buddy became inseparable. Once he got home from work, Buddy was like a shadow following my granddad around the house and yard.
One morning, per usual, he got in his car and drove the two blocks to the county courthouse, walked up the wide limestone steps, in through the front double doors, down a long hall, hung a right and entered the first set of doors leading into the Sheriff's department. He said good morning to his secretary, passed through another set of doors, and walked down a short hall before unlocking his office door and taking a seat at his desk. Not more then five minutes later Buddy comes nonchalantly walking into his office and lays down at his feet. From then until the day Buddy passed away, Buddy followed him to work every morning. |


Holy Shit! That was funny.







