[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Random cat stories (Page 1 of 4)
Posted: 10/11/2013 10:45:25 PM EDT
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I work nights as a security guard. There's this large orange cat who comes by every night (I call him William) who accompanies me on my rounds. Very friendly, very personable, and he has nuts the size of walnuts. (Dad would call him a ball-bearing mouse trap.)
It's unusual for a strange cat to make friends this way; anyone else have this happen? What other 'random' cat stories do you have? |
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I have a neighbor cat that comes out for some head scratching and petting when I go by his house on my daily walk.
If I don't see him out sunning I'll call to him and after a minute or so he'll usually come running from wherever he was catting around before. I like cats. They are magnificent little murderers. |
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So... I am about 19 years old and a friend of mine has to go check on a piece of glass for a table; I tag along. While he is inside TCB, I am outside looking around. There is a GORGOUS young lady sitting on the curb with a little kitten in her lap, she is rubbing the cat affectionately. "Ah; just sitten there rubbing your pussy", says I... She gets up and walks away. I thought it was funny. Well about 2.5 min later; about 10 REALLY BIG and PISSED OFF DUDES come out of the store... lookin for me.
A little fast talking and I was out of there... That pussy almost got my ass beatdown, and it wasn't the pussy I was looking for. That's my cat story. Also; cats do not have owners, they choose who to live/associate with. |
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Quoted:
Hoot N Holler is a Supreme Grand Champion. He has won more awards and sired more champions than any other Coon. He is the King of Coons. 
http://<a href=http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx266/bonesarelli/image_zps9238716e.jpg My dad has two cats from him. Fletcher http://<a href=http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx266/bonesarelli/image_zps616baebb.jpg And Virgil http://<a href=http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx266/bonesarelli/image_zpsecf38f5e.jpg Well....hello handsome.. 
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At the old farmhouse I used to live at we had a female cat named Pooky. Black as sin, best cat I've ever known.
Two different times I heard rattlesnakes rattlin' out back. Both times Pooky was just sitting there on the top step to the back porch staring down rattlesnakes that seemed pretty pissed that she was keeping them from getting on the porch. Yes, I killed the snakes trying to get up on the porch. One other time I was just sitting stoned in the living room watching TV late at night and suddenly the stink of skunk spray was almost overwhelming. Ok. that happens... lol... About 30 minutes later I hear Pooky doing her little scratch at the back door. She was soaked head to tail in skunk juice... Her food and water was on the porch so I just closed the door on her. Next day, maybe 14 hours later, she not only didn't stink, she smelled like she'd been powdered or something. I still don't understand that... lol |
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Speaking of cats and nuts
When I was younger, had a cat I named Boots, he was a gray tabby with white legs that looked like boots on him. Boots was an indoor/outdoor cat that owned the neighborhood. Tough sonofabitch, knew no fear. Fucker would actually jump on the lawnmower if we were outside mowing and he wanted attention while it was running. Hated dags, stalked and tormented the next door neighbor's Yorkie so bad they actually complained . Our neighbors behind us were assholes. They had a nasty schnauzer named Ralph that ran the neighborhood pissing and shitting on everything. The neighborhood hated his ass, along with the neighbors.
One day all four of us - Dad, Mom, Me and my brother were doing yardwork in the front yard with Boots lounging in one of the flower beds, supervising. That what cats do.  Well as we're working, Ralph trots up into our yard, marking his territory on everything he sees, right up to the flowerbed that Boots was in. As Ralph lifts his leg, Boots takes a swipe at the dag's nutsack and sinks claws knuckles deep into his sack! Fucking dog jumps up about 3 feet, screaming and starts making tracks for his house bawling the whole way, DRAGGING THE CAT, still attached to his junk, WITH HIM!!!
Boots probably held on for about 3-4 seconds before he got knocked off the dog's cods, but for us (and Boots) it was an eternity. My old man literally stumbled to his knees, laughing so hard he was teary eyed. Mom started hyper ventilating and my brother and I were rolling around. Boots, pissed that he didn't hang on the full 8 seconds I guess, stomped back up into the yard, back in the flower garden and took a nap. Boots later became an indoor only cat after he broke his hip and lived out the rest of his 17 years in the house with my parents. I still remember the phone call I got from Mom the morning he passed. I was 28, just married and living across town. I cried like a baby. 
Damn dust... |
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Quoted:
Speaking of cats and nuts
When I was younger, had a cat I named Boots, he was a gray tabby with white legs that looked like boots on him. Boots was an indoor/outdoor cat that owned the neighborhood. Tough sonofabitch, knew no fear. Fucker would actually jump on the lawnmower if we were outside mowing and he wanted attention while it was running. Hated dags, stalked and tormented the next door neighbor's Yorkie so bad they actually complained . Our neighbors behind us were assholes. They had a nasty schnauzer named Ralph that ran the neighborhood pissing and shitting on everything. The neighborhood hated his ass, along with the neighbors.
One day all four of us - Dad, Mom, Me and my brother were doing yardwork in the front yard with Boots lounging in one of the flower beds, supervising. That what cats do. Well as we're working, Ralph trots up into our yard, marking his territory on everything he sees, right up to the flowerbed that Boots was in. As Ralph lifts his leg, Boots takes a swipe at the dag's nutsack and sinks claws knuckles deep into his sack! Fucking dog jumps up about 3 feet, screaming and starts making tracks for his house bawling the whole way, DRAGGING THE CAT, still attached to his junk, WITH HIM!!!
Boots probably held on for about 3-4 seconds before he got knocked off the dog's cods, but for us (and Boots) it was an eternity. My old man literally stumbled to his knees, laughing so hard he was teary eyed. Mom started hyper ventilating and my brother and I were rolling around. Boots, pissed that he didn't hang on the full 8 seconds I guess, stomped back up into the yard, back in the flower garden and took a nap. Boots later became an indoor only cat after he broke his hip and lived out the rest of his 17 years in the house with my parents. I still remember the phone call I got from Mom the morning he passed. I was 28, just married and living across town. I cried like a baby.
Damn dust... That is fucking beautiful!!
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And they fucking hate you right back. Quoted:
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I fucking hate cats. And they fucking hate you right back. Incorrect. My cat goes to the laundry room every morning and brings me a pair of socks, meowing the whole time with them in her mouth. She puts them at my bedroom door. There's also a neighbor cat that visits me in the garage everytime I'm working with the big door open and won't go away. I don't like that though because I don't want to accidentally close him in there. |
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Quoted:
Speaking of cats and nuts
When I was younger, had a cat I named Boots, he was a gray tabby with white legs that looked like boots on him. Boots was an indoor/outdoor cat that owned the neighborhood. Tough sonofabitch, knew no fear. Fucker would actually jump on the lawnmower if we were outside mowing and he wanted attention while it was running. Hated dags, stalked and tormented the next door neighbor's Yorkie so bad they actually complained . Our neighbors behind us were assholes. They had a nasty schnauzer named Ralph that ran the neighborhood pissing and shitting on everything. The neighborhood hated his ass, along with the neighbors.
One day all four of us - Dad, Mom, Me and my brother were doing yardwork in the front yard with Boots lounging in one of the flower beds, supervising. That what cats do. Well as we're working, Ralph trots up into our yard, marking his territory on everything he sees, right up to the flowerbed that Boots was in. As Ralph lifts his leg, Boots takes a swipe at the dag's nutsack and sinks claws knuckles deep into his sack! Fucking dog jumps up about 3 feet, screaming and starts making tracks for his house bawling the whole way, DRAGGING THE CAT, still attached to his junk, WITH HIM!!!
Boots probably held on for about 3-4 seconds before he got knocked off the dog's cods, but for us (and Boots) it was an eternity. My old man literally stumbled to his knees, laughing so hard he was teary eyed. Mom started hyper ventilating and my brother and I were rolling around. Boots, pissed that he didn't hang on the full 8 seconds I guess, stomped back up into the yard, back in the flower garden and took a nap. Boots later became an indoor only cat after he broke his hip and lived out the rest of his 17 years in the house with my parents. I still remember the phone call I got from Mom the morning he passed. I was 28, just married and living across town. I cried like a baby.
Damn dust... This man knows how to tell a story with cats and nuts in it! 
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Growing up, we had two sealpoints in the house. They'd sit outside in the front yard and lure stray dogs in to fight!
One would sit in the open while the other would hide in the bushes. Whenever the dog fell for the bait, the first cat would stand his ground or back away slowly, and the other would attack the flank. Funniest thing ever! ****** As the one got older, he'd sun himself in the back yard. This stopped when a pair of mockingbirds moved nearby. ******** Mom would feed us liver and onions occasionally (and she fixed 'em very well!) She'd have to skin the liver, and the cats would be underfoot the entire time because she'd drop a piece of liver skin to them. Then she'd drop slice of onion and the cats would grab that, then try to eject the onion (cats can't spit!). |
My best friend told me that once he was having sex with his girlfriend doggysyle when the cat came up behind him and licked his nuts.  so many potential jokes in that....
My wife's cat likes to sit at the door to the porch and watch the wildlife go by. The problem is that every now and then he forgets that's glass and lunges after a squirrel only to bang his head. He then sits there with a stunned look trying to work out what just happened to him. Sadly, he isn't a bright cat.....Every now and again he forgets his tail is attached and chomps down on it
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Who dares tell him he's not a dog? http://lolsnaps.com/upload_pic/Whodarestellhimhesnotadog-22237.png
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Oh, Dear God...
My GF has been feeding a feral since she was a kitten. She trapped it, had it fixed, chipped and immunized, and released back into the neighborhood (Logan Square in chicago). Four years she's been feeding kitty... So kitty disappears for a while and finally shows up, dragging a back leg. Then she disappears for 19 days. I get her a game cam to monitor the feeding station. useless. She finally caught a phone pic of the cat on Weds, as she heads off for jury duty, which she mails to me with a note saying "kitty's back :-) :-) :-)" I look at the pic on my computer, not a phone, and I'm able to see that her leg is gashed open and there's bone sticking out. Oh Oh!!! It's pretty clear to me that GF has not recognized the injury. Fibula/Tibia fracture just above the Tarsus. Foot is inflamed. GF, being in Jury Duty is not able to receive my expert analyses. I head into the city with some tools. So I take the next couple of days off, convert a 2'x3' kennel crate into a drop trap with a transfer port, spend 4 hours the next morning watching the trap and catch the cat, shoo her into a Havaheart and we take kitty to the vet. "You have two options: amputate or euthanize". I can see GF vacillating and getting all teary eyed, so I told her -- amputate, you'll be crying for the next two years if you put her down. Anyway, it was her money. $1000 of her money! We pick up kitty from the vet the next day. Take home. Tried to follow vet's instruction for the Cone of Shame. Every try to put a cone collar on a feral cat? I recommend it! It's amazing how much fight the little kitty had left in her. I did not get scratched, only because I had protective gear on. We thought we got the Cone of Shame on, but we actually tied the collar around the back of her head and through her mouth, sort of like a gag. shit. Attempts to rectify this in the bathroom yielded a very pissed off cat hiding in the corner, under the toilet.
I said fucket, no collar, stuffed her back into a transfer cage and put her int he kennel, now outfitted with soft comfy blankets, food water and a poop box. It's her cat. I really hope kitty can learn to live with the GF, but I'm not hopeful due to her age. Mostly GF is going to focus on getting kitty's body weight back up and facilitating a good post-op recovery. I told GF that she cannot become emotionally attached to the ferals in the hood in the future. |
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Check out Simon's Cat on you tube.
The guy's a great cartoonist & has the mannerisms if cats down to a science. |
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My ex had a niece that had a Siamese cat.
(Siamese are the pit bulls of the cat world.) One time, she had some friends stop by with a good size dog in the car with them. As the friends sat in the car and she stood outside talking to them, the cat walked up. The dog in the car commenced to barking at the cat. The cat looked at the dog and then jumped in an open car window and attacked the dog. After much screaming and terror, the cat jumped back out. As the cat sat there calmly cleaning itself, the dog decided not to bark anymore. |
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Okay, here it is: the link to Tokie the Seeing Eye Cat. Written by our very own Piccolo. Plus some other gems. (There are some truly gifted (and insane) people on this board; I flatter myself to think I'm one of them.
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/842828_.html |
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Male cats seem to be more gregarious than females. Tom cats are awesome. All the coolest cats I ever knew were big brawler Toms. My dad used to have this monster white one, with one yellow and one blue eye. (it's name was kittens I called him kitty-boy)
I saw it bring a few big tough men damn near to their knees. This cat would mad-dog people, and if it didn't like you and you bent down to pet him, he would bite your face or latch onto it, or both. Seen him go crazy from people touching his tail too. I always got along with him well, and he never tried to hurt me, but I usually get along with mean cats/dogs/people. |
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I have a cat that lived with my brother while I was in ungrad and living on campus, circa 2003-2004.
Brother had a 3rd floor apartment with a big balcony. Cat loved to sit on the rail. Pulldown sunshades were mounted above the rail. One day, while cat was sitting on the rail, a strong gust of wind came along and the sunshade knocked cat off the rail. Cat plunged 3 stories straight down to concrete patio of downstairs neighbor. Neighbor was sitting on patio when said cat fell from the sky. My brother knocked on the door downstairs to get cat. Cat was perfectly OK and is sitting right here next me. She turned 16 in August. |
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We bought an old farm out in Clark County, KY and a few feral barn cats came with the property. I've never been a cat person, but knew that they would take care of the rodents so I left them alone. Over time, most of them disappeared--probably victims of owls or coyotes. We ended up with two of the weirdest cats on the planet--small mottled black/orange/gray creatures that had perfect natural camouflage for the property. That coloring is probably what kept them alive.
They seemed to like being around us, but never let us pet them or even get too close. They'd hang out nearby hiding in the shadows and watching whatever we were doing.....it became a game for us to spot them whenever we went outdoors, sort of like a fuzzy live action Where's Waldo, and with their coloring, it was a challenge to spot them. Our 5 y/o daughter named them RealTree and MossyOak. We used to take little hikes around the property and we called them our Wild Walks--we were teaching our daughter how to make shelters, fire, what plants were edible, how to find bait and catch bluegills in the pond.....stuff that every rural child should know. Those cats followed us every step--every time, regardless of the weather, the distance we walked, or how long we stayed out. They'd trail along, sneaking from tree to tree, bush to bush, shadow to shadow. One fine early fall morning, we went on a special Wild Walk--this was to be my daughter's first turkey hunt. Like always, RealTree and MossyOak were sneaking along, 15 yards behind us. As we approached an old fallen oak that we had planned to use as our ground blind, both cats started growling and darted in front of us. RealTree stopped in front of us, hair up, yowling and hissing--very effectively blocking our way. MossyOak tore into the brush pile and started whoopin' on something like it owed her money. We couldn't see what was going on, but the squalling and snarling and general chaos was pretty impressive. I thought she was mixing it up with a coon or something. Well, MossyOak died that day. There were copperheads in the brush pile and she got bit several times--I choose to believe she jumped in there to keep me and my daughter safe. RealTree is now about 15 years old. She's still an outdoor barn cat, still mostly wild. She still won't let us pet her or get within arms length...but she still follows us whenever we go out on our Wild Walks and over the years, she has blocked our path a couple of times--I've never seen anything, but I trust her. If she blocks us, we go a different direction. |
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My cat Lucy gently taps my nose with the tip of her paw to wake me when my alarm goes off. Never before it goes off thank goodness! Our family pet Stover used to do that to my mom. But only my mom, he knew who did the morning feeding. He was a huge, solid white, polydactal shorthair. A real lap cat but also a roamer and hunter. He'd drag all sorts of prey home. Biggest I'd say was a mid-sized raccoon. |
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Orange Cats are very friendly.
We have one that visits us at our work site any time of day or night. He'll mew outside the trailer, then come in and get pet for a few seconds by each person, then leave. He's been doing it for several years now. His collar shows he lives about 1/3 mile through the woods in a residential area. |
 This guy showed up here a few years ago, the fur hides how skinny he really was. When the lying bitch I was married to took off with my children and the dog she left him, she never did like him  He has since grew into a big Purr Purr Kitty, That's a piano bench he decided to claim One of the few texts I got from my little girl she asked how he was, Kitty misses them and the dog as much as I do  |
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Orange Cats are very friendly. We have one that visits us at our work site any time of day or night. He'll mew outside the trailer, then come in and get pet for a few seconds by each person, then leave. He's been doing it for several years now. His collar shows he lives about 1/3 mile through the woods in a residential area. We've got a orange and black stray at work,everyone calls her "Pico" Nice enough cat,I've been bringing cans of cat food for her for a good six months trying to fatten her up a bit. |
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Many moons ago I shot one with my bow, and the arrow hit something on the other side and the arrow stuck in the dang cat. The owner saw me chasing his beloved pet and gave chase to me.
I lost him and the cat, but the next morning my mother answered the door to the cops, and in the end I received a nice sized vet bell. Cat had one leg less than when he started, and stayed the heck of my ride ever since. BTW, I am a cat lover, and have one now that thinks he is a dog. He follows me around, rolls on his back for me to pet him, etc. |