[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How To Kill a Demon? (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 10/31/2002 6:14:57 PM EDT
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Ok,we've had zombies,werewolves,vampires,chud and everything else.How about demons?I'm not talking about the ones that visit our wives once a month.I'm talking vomit spewing,360 head turning,floating in the air,Chelsea Clinton look a like,maggot infested denizen from hell.Spawn of Satan.Dark Angel.I want to hear your tricks. |
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Quoted: Spit the blood of Christ into his eyes. You just need to get that little cross thingy from [i]Demon Knight[/i]. Demon Knight was a great documentary,wasn't it?But the "ACTUAL" blood of Christ is a little hard to come by.I don't think the Jiffy Mart carries it. |
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I'm not talking about your run of the mill demon that a layman can run off.I'm talking hardcore,Satans right hand man demon.Just for starters don't you need a certified priest that can read Latin? Oh that is Micheal the ArcAngels fight. That fight hasn't even happened yet. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Demon Knight was a great documentary,wasn't it?But the "ACTUAL" blood of Christ is a little hard to come by.I don't think the Jiffy Mart carries it. I believe the ever elusive Wawa's carries it. The SuperWawa, or the regular Wawa, or the regular+gas station Wawa? |
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well, first you take a section of pipe and hit them in the back of the head to incapacitate them. Then you finish them with an axe that has the name "OTIS" carved into the handle. At least that's how they did it in the movie "Frailty" which is excellent BTW. Any of you schizophrenics out there should remember to take your medication before you watch it. [:)] |
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You need a demon killed? Shit this is gonna take a few mags of ammo. /me puts down the mousegun AR15 and opens up the safe Ok, I got several varieties of yer 7.62 NATO main battle rifle here. Lets go to the religious organizations of your choice and get 'em blessed and all. Leave the handguns at home-wait, go ahead and bring the .44 magnum. We'll stop at the Catholic cathedral last, so's we can get the absolution done just in case something goes wrong. Don't worry, I do this all the time... |
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I've had a run in with a demon once. May not have been the posession sort, but then again, I'm not Christian so I couldnt tell you. My faith doesnt support the belief in such things but A good friend of mine who I call my sis got knocked up by this prize rat bag of a guy and they got married in Utah when she was 16. The guy would have been a mass murderer if he had more guts, but instead he just had lossa panic attacks, liked killing small animals, and beating my sister near to the point of death. Add that on taking drugs, growing/making drugs, selling drugs, and hanging out with the sort of people there related. He also collected automatic weapons. They ended up moving into this old mining shack on his familys land up north of here in the foothills of the cascades. It had been a prospectors shack back in the 1880s and gradually just grew into a house. Its still in the middle of BFE (Bum F*ck Egypt) today, even though theres a few hillbilley trailers around it, and a junk pile next door. Anyhow, back in the day a bunch of the residents died and were burried in the dirt cellar floor of this place. My Sis's ex over time began taking an interest in satanism and the occult, and so he dug one of them up for his jollies (I've seen skeletons before and it looked genuine to me). Anyhow, he did all this voodoo crap summoning and whatnot, not that I believe thats what brought the bad juju on the house. I think the beatings, the anger, and the drugs probably did a lot more to attract the attention of less than pleasant things. Eventually by the time I met this woman, she was taking her two kids and leaving. As her soon to be ex was a violent s#it and had equily as violent and stupid friends, the entire moving party that went up to that place was armed to the teeth. We had to stay there overnight, and none of us slept well at all. The entire thing was a ramshackel building, and it looked like a grenade had gone off in a goodwill dumpster inside. Old moldy furniture, dishes, rotting food, clothes, ammo, fireworks, what looked like a case of WP grenades, half empty with some kind of bong in it. If any of you remember the movie "Aliens", it looked like the sort of mess left in the LV426 ground stations. Anyhow, I didnt know the history of this place, nor did I know of the satanic things, the guy killing animals and painting himself with their blood, etc. About four in the morning I'm awoken by what I thought was a dog up romaing the kitchen. I can hear what sounds like dog's nails on a lenolium floor. Except there was no dog in the house when we locked the door and there is no other way in. I lay in my sack for a few minutes listening to this sound, and realize there is an accompanied dragging noise. And it sounds a lot heavier than any dog. So I figure its this woman's ex pulling some crap, or worse, dragging a body. So I pull out the Cobray M11/9 that she's given me and lock and load, and then get up to go see where the noise is coming from. I go through the kitchen and I see a shadow cast on the wall, diagonal from the refridgerator. A shadow cast that way can only be coming from a light in the cellar. Anyhow, in the light I can make out a shape moving down towards the cellar, whatever it is, its the size of a BIG St.Bernard at least, probably bigger. So I'm thouroughly freaked and I go back and grab the SPAS that she has next to her sack and make sure there's something bigger than birdshot in it (she'd loaded 00 buck and slugs the day before, one thing about my 'sis', she doesnt F*ck around with guns). Being the "mall-ninja" gunlover he was, the SPAS has everything on it and weighs a ton, but its got a nice tac-star light on it that give me a little more comfort. So I head towards the cellar. I can hear this thing rooting around down there. The cellar wasnt big, maybe 25x30 max, and I could see movement as soon as looked in the door. I'll never EVER forget the sound I heard come from that room next. I've never, ever heard anything like it before. If you've ever heard a severely wounded horse "scream", it was like that but ten times worse. I dont remember the body but I remember the eyes when it came back up the stairs at me. It moved like a big cat and it had deep deep red eyes and skin that was black and dead like a burned log. I brought the SPAS up firing and emptied an entire magazine of buck and ball into that thing at ten feet distance as I backed off and ran. By now everyone was awake and yelling, I came out of there screaming and crying like a little kid. We left the house post-haste and stayed in the cars the rest of the night, watching the open door of the house. I dont think anyone went back to sleep after that. The next morning after everyone had chilled out a little, I started getting ribbed for sleep walking or having a bad dream. We went back into the kitchen and they found all the spent shells. When they opened the door to the cellar, everyone freaked. Not a damned thing. There was a little damage right on one of the beams going downstairs from maybe four or five 00 pellets, but nothing else. No trace of the slugs or the rest of the balls, and there were seven spent shell casings on the floor. We all left in a big hurry and no one, not even my sis, went back for anything else. Even the ex moved out shortly there after and refuses to go back for the rest of his stuff. About a week later we were having dinner at a Russian place in downtown Everett where we used to eat all the time (great Borscht and Peroshkey) when she brings up the house again. She said she'd seen stuff in the house before, and that my youngest 'neice' had spoken in tongues in her sleep on multiple occasions while living there in a deep, baritone voice. She told me about all the crap that her ex had done, and about the dead prospectors burried in the cellar. She also showed me a polaroid she'd taken some time ago when she had been in that cellar. There's a crawlspace under the stairs where her ex used to do his weiji board voodoo or whatever, and in that space there is a mist, looking like headlights shining off of fog, and in that mist there are two glowing red points, like the eyes on that thing I saw. She's a very firm 'born again' type, and believes in all that stuff about spiritual warfare and everything now. I've seen all kinds of animals, I've seen rabid dogs, and even been stalked by cougars while hunting in Idaho. What I saw was not a creature of this world, and the sounds that it made were not that of something created by God. I hit it with what must have been at least three slugs and a crapload of 00-buck pellets at close range and there was no blood trail down into the cellar, and no dead animal. I cant imagine that much lead NOT stopping anything terrestrial of that size, but the rounds were simply gone. They hadnt gone into the walls or impacted into the dirt floor. Say what you will, tell me I'm full of BS, I'm making it up. Whatever. Just know that I saw it, and I'm not telling everyone here for my own justification. It scared the crap out of me, and sometimes I still have nightmares about those eyes and the sound that thing made. Ryan |
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Good story RebelGray. Now, I done told ya to grab a 7.62 NATO, next time give that old demon a mag out of the FAL (Fallen Angel Liquidator)and a mag out of the HK91 (Holy Killer 91). Send it right back to ol Chuck E. Cheese himself. That's right, the devil is Chuck E. Cheese. Don't ask how I know, it has to do with spiritual warfare. (This thread is humorous and not a flame towards you RebelGray. Your story, true or not, kicked ass!) |
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Well, trying to kill a demon is all fine and dandy, but what we should be talking about here is demon prevention. At Terminix, we offer a complete line of demon preventative measures. You should look into our D.O.P.E. system. That's right, D.O.P.E. It stands for Demon (Otherworldly) Prevention for Eternity and it can protect you from just this sort on inconvenience. Just turn your house over to one of our representatives for 2 weeks and we guarantee no demons for one full year. If a demon does appear and tears you and your family asunder, we will gladly come back and respray or refund your money (pro-rated) at your request. This idea was Hi-jacked from a friend of mine that is waiting for his membership password. |
| RebelGray...Damn, that was one hell of a story. Freaked me out a little just reading it. I don't care if it's true or not, cuz it's a good story any which way you slice it. You should add that to the campfire ghost story pile...it's creepy like the X-Files, because nothing got explained. The mystery is there, and the truth is out there. |
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Quoted: I've had a run in with a demon once. May not have been the posession sort, but then again, I'm not Christian so I couldnt tell you. My faith doesnt support the belief in such things but Ryan You're seriously not shitting us? If you aren't, that's fucked up yo. You made me put my hand on my .45 mid-read. |
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Would have been the late summer of 1998 up near Stanwood Washington. No pix of the house or anything, althoug my sis may have some. I sort of doubt if she ever took any pix, all the money up there was either spent on drugs or guns. I did talk to her today about it and she told me another story about the basement, of course with all the junk they did it may be a little fishy, but she said one night when she was alone with the kids her youngest daughter came screaming upstairs, crying about the 'dinosaur' trying to eat her. My sister went downstairs and once again heard movement and animal noises from the basement. She opened the door with the broom and all this fog poured out. Once again, remember it being a damp, dark cellar with a rock/concrete foundation thats not too unusuall, but out of the mist this thing came at her, something she later realized was a giant head that looked like a dragon. She took the kids and slept in the car that night. The next morning the air in the house was hot and musty with an oder of rotting meat that hung there for days. She also said dogs there never lived very long, usually some neighbor would shoot them (or they'd get stoned and shoot them) but occasionaly they'd turn up really horribly mutilated. She always thought it was her ex with some knife or sword or something, but sometimes it would happen when he was away. (Prison, buisness, etc...) Bad JuJu man, like I said, about the most folks in my faith will say is that it was a magic induced hallucination, however some of the more open minded ones like me agree that evil can incarnate itself into some pretty terrifying forms. Everything that we saw would have very likly been, in ages past, called dragons. Think about it, dragon lore is nearly as old as man. It still terrifies us today (Jurassic Park, Reign of Fire, Dragonslayer), who's to say Satan's minions wouldnt take the form of a terrible beast in places that 'bad juju' accumulates? I still think a small tactical nuke will solve any ill. The sheer amount of electro-magnetic energy released across the spectrum by a nuke will adversely effect any kind of matter known to man.... |
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RebelGray: What you encountered was in fact a Hell Hound, and not a Demon. Hell Hounds (or Hounds of Hell) are frequently summoned by the Devil's human minions (who normally are not "satanists") to perform certain functions. They are used for protection, security (which would explain why your sister saw the beast under the crawlspace where her husband performed his rituals), and to murder or terrify enemies. Demons are never at the disposal of humans. They come in many forms and ranks, and function in different ways (possession, or "glamour" in which they hide their true form to walk amongst humans), with very different goals. It is my personal contention that religious (particularly "Christian") wingnuts are in fact demons sent by the Devil to lead God's flock astray. More specifically, I think the Devil uses his minions to demonize (pun very much intended) Christianity to lead people into psuedo-atheism, or to non-God-inspired religions (the Eastern religions), or to the Devil's very own faith, Islam. People become disallusioned and seek the "truth" through channels that will lead them to confusion, or to the Devil himself. |
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I posted this about a month ago: A few years ago I was a Military Policeman at a base in Germany. The pagan holiday of Beltane was approaching, and the local American witches group had reserved a military recreation area for a ceremony. This group, from what I heard, was not straight wiccan, but combined that group's faith with devil worship. The group, fearing trouble with soldiers from a barracks area some few hundred yards away, requested police protection. I knew from the request schedule that I would be assigned, with a friend who was also on duty that day, to give special attention to them during my patrols. I also saw that they were using a maypole, an altar, and knives in their ceremony, and that a demon raising attempt was planned. I was surprised that the Army was providing those items to the group. I was concerned, and saw a Lutheran pastor who was a chaplain while patrolling a few days before the ceremony. Figuring that he was better than no one to talk to, I expressed my concerns about the ceremony. To my surprise, he stated that there was no danger since the group was not strong enough to raise a demon, and revealed that he was the witch's sponsor. I was still concerned, perhaps even more so, and a conversation with another friend, who was a big city policeman with years experience in high crime areas, had him telling me that he believed that he had seen some possessions during his work and that he would stay as far away as he could. He was a Roman Catholic, but I trusted his experience and judgement. On Beltane my friend and I kept as far away as possible, driving by and parking a distance away and watching from time to time. We knew from the schedule that the main ceremonies would not start until dark. At dusk the dancing and such started, and the bats exploded from the woods over the nearby lake, and the area seemed spooky and dark and evil over their chanting and dancing. My friend and I agreed that it was time to leave the area and not return. I am not sure if the impression was objective or a result of our unease and knowledge. My friends and I noted an increase in arrests in the general park area after that day, from almost none to a few times a week, but that could have been because the weather was getting warmer. |
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Quoted: The Lutheran minister was in fact a Demon himself. Maybe. I am WELS lutheran, this guy was ELCA. They have gone pretty far off the last 30 years or so, but this guy was beyond the pale. It has nothing to do with his denomination. There have been Popes I'm convinced were the Devil sent to destroy the Church. I met a priest once who was just what one would say is "creepy." I'm quite certain that he was a Demon. As pastor, he caused the parish's attendance to drop by almost 90%. He replaced a beloved pastor who died mysteriously at the age of 39 of unknown causes (the coroner honestly listed the cause of death as unknown). He appeared about a week after the former pastor had died, which is unusual, because an interim priest is normally sent to provide services and to eulogize the dead pastor (some churches have more than one priest, and the assistant pastor will take the reins, but the parish I belong to is small). It normally takes a month or more for a new pastor to be assigned. A group of parishoners got curious of his "odd" behavior, and decided to investigate. The very day we called the office of the diocese, he disappeared. Everything he had was gone. I'm convinced he was a Demon. On a ride-along we came across a guy who acted like somebody of PCP might, crazed, delusional, paranoid, super-strong, and felt ZERO pain. The weirdest thing was that this guy, after being Maced, beaten quite literally to a pulp with ASP batons, and wrestled by 8 cops (and me, making 9 fairly strong men) woke up in the holding cell with no memory of what happened. We had to strp this guy down to a chair and took blood for a drug test (so he could charged with some drug stuff). He had nothing in his system, not even booze. He had no record. He had no disciplinary problems at any time in his life. |