Posted: 4/16/2013 6:31:44 AM EDT
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I wrote this and posted it next to the coffee maker at work.
The Magic Coffee Pot
Once upon a time there was a magic coffee pot. People would fill their cups from it throughout the day. Sometimes they would leave the pot with just enough coffee left in it to cover the bottom, and other times they emptied it completely then walked away. Later, by magic, the pot was full again with hot, fresh coffee! The people marveled at this coffee pot that replenished itself. What a convenience! They loved how easy the magic coffee pot made their lives. All they had to do was drink the coffee, and more would magically appear later! OK, time for a reality check. There is NO SUCH THING as a magic coffee pot. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it’s in the same category as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Just like your parents were the source of your Christmas presents and chocolate bunnies, in reality people are making the coffee; the pot is not refilling itself. It only takes a minute to put a filter & grounds in the basket and pour a pitcher of water into the machine. We’re all in this together. |
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Let me know how your booger & urine flavored coffee tastes tomorrow.
Go on and taste the booger flavor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVacQ4bTd1g Left cold due to some offensive language. |
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It needs more anger. Something like: "The magic coffee pot only exists in the minds of you petulant children who refuse to make more coffee! Failure to make coffee when emptying a pot will result in a fresh pot of coffee being poured into your chair's seat when you get up". Speed |
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Quoted:
It needs more anger. Something like: "The magic coffee pot only exists in the minds of you petulant children who refuse to make more coffee! Failure to make coffee when emptying a pot will result in a fresh pot of coffee being poured into your chair's seat when you get up". Speed 
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Not even close to enough profligate usage of the word "Fuck". All fucking coffee-pot snipers should be forced to endure 5 days a week of 8 hour-a-day retraining on the glories of Rosanne Barr's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. Maybe that would teach the fuckerrs to make a fresh pot.
4/10. |
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Quoted:
Not even close to enough profligate usage of the word "Fuck". All fucking coffee-pot snipers should be forced to endure 5 days a week of 8 hour-a-day retraining on the glories of Rosanne Barr's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. Maybe that would teach the fuckerrs to make a fresh pot. 4/10. Now THAT was first-rate. |
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Keurig FTW. I would say this, but our Keurig machine seems to have an enchanted water reservoir that is filled by invisible fairies whenever it runs low. water line plus float valve. ???? Profit. I wish, but it ain't gonna happen in my office. I work in a gigantic mothership of a government building and the nearest water line's a hundred feet away. Problem 1: funding. Problem 2: even if we were to get materials and labor for free, getting approval for any work done in this facility would be a lost cause. |
