Posted: 9/18/2002 1:13:04 PM EDT
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Here's your chance for fame and fortune as a poet. Limericks are a 5 line poem. Lines 1,2 and 5 rhyme. Lines 3 and 4 also rhyme. Lines 1, 2 and 5 are roughly 7-9 syllables, 3 and 4 are 5-6. There is a specific pattern the words are supposed to fit, but for ease of posting we'll skip that. Usually slightly dirty, but not overtly so....a bawdy limerick is better than a dirty one. Leave something up to the imagination Slurring words to make them fit and rhyme is perfectly fine. The more humorous the better. The bawdier the better. Haikus are for losers who can't rhyme. They go in another thread. please, one limerick per post. Bonus points if you can fit Mall Ninja, Steyr Aug, and Goat boy into a single, funny, limerick. New York hosts some of our members whose love lives are dying embers and yet here they'll howl they should all go prowl they'll get some in two decembers |
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Quoted: I like to hang out here a lot It wastes all the time that I've got But I piss off the mods Who think they are gods May their peckers all fall off and rot! WINNER! I once bought a gun made by a Stoner People claim it gave them a boner I shot it every day It bled all my cash away Now I need a good ammo doner! |
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From the poetry thread back in June:(some good stuff there) [url]http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=126661&page=1[/url] Quoted: Five-hundred, One-thousnd, Two-thousand posts and more, They self congradulate, On being a post whore! Pounding the keys, Night and day, Running up the post count, ...but having nothing to say! [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] sfoo, uh I mean ProfessorEvil, get to work cutting and pasting for that AR15.com poetry book.[:D] |
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There once was an employer named Yobo Who hired a guy he did'nt know from Joe Blow The new guy went a pack'in Because Yobo's Common sense was lacking When Management found out Yobe's Read of Policy carried no Clout Yobo's judgement was in doubt. Clean out your desk Yobo did they shout. |
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There once was a pimple face geek Who showed up at my gun counter ever week while he adjusted his French legion Beret About militia and white power he would bray Our sane customers were starting to freek our sage advise he would seek as to give his .22 Ruger the full auto tweak Of course the question was moot when we gave his ass the boot on this subject we refused to speak The door slammed behind him as he went out As he mounted his bicycle he could be heard to shout "Your all Jewish Clinton liberal pussy scum" As he pedaled off toward the house he shared with his mum |
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No ar15.com limericks at the moment... but this is one I submitted to poetry.com for a scholarship competition: [i]My plight is nearly funny I'm trapped inside a gunni That's all I will say please give me my pay you bastards I now want my money.[/i] For some reason I didn't win! |
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FINALLY! One of my Forum Friends here (you know who you are...[;D]) thought this one wouldn't be, ahem, appropriate, one very late night a year or so ago. Lessee if it flys today. [;)] ----------------------------------------------- [b]There once was a young girl named Alice; used a dynamite stick for a phallus... they found her vagina in South Carolina, and part of her anus in Dallas.[/b] ----------------------------------------------- [rolleyes] |
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There once was a guy that smoked crack Who thought wrong our dispute with Iraq He told us this thing was just about oil No American troops should tread foreign soil The evil Jew Crew just wants to fight He said in threads filled with spite He surely missed the attack of nine-eleven Shut up as he was in isolationist heaven |
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IBTL, IBTL!!! Parrots countless melon heads Such a complete and utter crock From kiddies who should be in bed Or maybe it's just poster's block? I've got the black rifle blues Mo money, no scratch, no green, New Stoners, old Colts, oh wooooooooo Cheap sellers, great deals, I scream I've got the black rifle blues There once was an ex-Kalifornian with a weinie so little, pathetic Said he with chagrin, with salty Texas tears on his chin, I wish for a plastic prosthetic. |