[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Chili HAS beans. (Page 1 of 11)
Posted: 9/26/2012 9:18:00 PM EDT
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If there are no beans, it is not chili.
You know I am right, so don't bother arguing. |
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BULLSHIT. You got the rights and wrongs backwards 
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You go to hell and die, and suffer, and die some more! Only godless heatherns put beans in chili! You put beans in good chili, it's no longer chili! It may taste good, whatever it is now, after its been polluted, but its no longer chili! I like both [chili] and [chili + beans + w/e else], but there can be only one definition of chili. 
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It does...in hell First post. Chili has no beans. OP is wrong, and probably likes Bacos more than actual Bacon. Bacon is meat candy. Beans are an integral part of chili. Half the fun of eating chili is the farting contest late that night  In Stalinist Russia, people were sent to the Goulag for lesser offenses than putting the disdainful legume in one of the most heavenly artifacts of bovine cuisine. 
I think "Beans in Chili" is a symptom of Culinary Dysmorphia, a condition clearly outlined in the DSM4. 
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Chilli without beans is like: Sex without an orgasm. Hamburgers without meat. Jokes that aren't funny. A car with no gas... or tires... or engine... Guns with no cartridges. Texas without steers and queers. A ship with no captain. A house with no roof. Rain without water. Life with no meaning... |
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It is astonishing how right that is. |
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Chilli without beans is like: Sex without an orgasm. Hamburgers without meat. Jokes that aren't funny. A car with no gas... or tires... or engine... Guns with no cartridges. Texas without steers and queers. A ship with no captain. A house with no roof. Rain without water. Life with no meaning... St Louis style. |
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Of course it does, hot dog and spaghetti topping are the ones without beans. I agree. Goddamn... Y'all have never had real chili have you? Where do you get the idea that it's some thin-ass hamburger meat sauce shit? Is that all you've ever had? That's NOT what chili is. Chili is nice sized pieces of beef, slow simmered for many hours. It's not the shit you seem to have been subjected to. Therefore you have no right to even express an opinion on what chili should contain. Talk about spices, beer or no beer, stock or no stock, the cut of meat... Those are the only legit discussions of what chili "is". Fuck. |
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Of course it does, hot dog and spaghetti topping are the ones without beans. I agree. Goddamn... Y'all have never had real chili have you? Where do you get the idea that it's some thin-ass hamburger meat sauce shit? Is that all you've ever had? That's NOT what chili is. Chili is nice sized pieces of beef, slow simmered for many hours. It's not the shit you seem to have been subjected to. Therefore you have no right to even express an opinion on what chili should contain. Talk about spices, beer or no beer, stock or no stock, the cut of meat... Those are the only legit discussions of what chili "is". Fuck. I've heard that Texas "chili" shit makes your brain shrink. No idea if it's true though, so I'm treating it as a rumor until I can confirm. 
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Of course it does, hot dog and spaghetti topping are the ones without beans. I agree. Goddamn... Y'all have never had real chili have you? Where do you get the idea that it's some thin-ass hamburger meat sauce shit? Is that all you've ever had? That's NOT what chili is. Chili is nice sized pieces of beef, slow simmered for many hours. It's not the shit you seem to have been subjected to. Therefore you have no right to even express an opinion on what chili should contain. Talk about spices, beer or no beer, stock or no stock, the cut of meat... Those are the only legit discussions of what chili "is". Fuck. YOU WILL NOT PUT BEANS IN CHIlI111 |
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Of course it does, hot dog and spaghetti topping are the ones without beans. I agree. Goddamn... Y'all have never had real chili have you? Where do you get the idea that it's some thin-ass hamburger meat sauce shit? Is that all you've ever had? That's NOT what chili is. Chili is nice sized pieces of beef, slow simmered for many hours. It's not the shit you seem to have been subjected to. Therefore you have no right to even express an opinion on what chili should contain. Talk about spices, beer or no beer, stock or no stock, the cut of meat... Those are the only legit discussions of what chili "is". Fuck. I've heard that Texas "chili" shit makes your brain shrink. No idea if it's true though, so I'm treating it as a rumor until I can confirm. You may be on to something with that, based on some of my observations 
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Of course it does, hot dog and spaghetti topping are the ones without beans. I agree. Goddamn... Y'all have never had real chili have you? Where do you get the idea that it's some thin-ass hamburger meat sauce shit? Is that all you've ever had? That's NOT what chili is. Chili is nice sized pieces of beef, slow simmered for many hours. It's not the shit you seem to have been subjected to. Therefore you have no right to even express an opinion on what chili should contain. Talk about spices, beer or no beer, stock or no stock, the cut of meat... Those are the only legit discussions of what chili "is". Fuck. I've heard that Texas "chili" shit makes your brain shrink. No idea if it's true though, so I'm treating it as a rumor until I can confirm. LOL!! It ain't chili that's shrunk my brain, believe me...
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http://vegantoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Chili-Beans-300x250.jpg So what are these for? That is a tool of the unwashed heathen used to propogate their sins and sway the faithful but poorly educated into damnation. Gaze not upon that which is not needed but facetiously advertised in an idolitric manner to feel as if one's Chili is lacking without Lucifer's Legume. Repent and give up your lust for needless and flavorless filler! 
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It does...in hell Texas' idea of 'chili' is a soup. A thin, chunky soup. Not soup. "Meat Sauce" like a spaghetti sauce with chili powder 
It needs beans. Wait, doesn't spaghetti sauce have tomatoes in it? Oh, right, you people put that in your chili too. lawl |
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Chili and moonshine are very similar. Divinely inspired, they both require long periods of slow gentle cooking, meticulous attention to sequencing of the ingredients and when they are added to the brew, and the batch can be ruined if the lid is removed from the pot too frequently. And the answer to the question about how do you spell the beans in chili is.......there ain't no beans in chili.....that's what I've been tryin to tell your dumb ass for the last six months since I answered the same question for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 44
That is all, move along now........44 
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Chili and moonshine are very similar. Divinely inspired, they both require long periods of slow gentle cooking, meticulous attention to sequencing of the ingredients and when they are added to the brew, and the batch can be ruined if the lid is removed from the pot too frequently. And the answer to the question about how do you spell the beans in chili is.......there ain't no beans in chili.....that's what I've been tryin to tell your dumb ass for the last six months since I answered the same question for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 44 That is all, move along now........44
Beans are good. Lack of beans is bad. |