Posted: 9/2/2012 9:23:35 PM EDT
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No shit, there i was. Walking out my sliding glass door to go smoke. I've had a glass of whiskey, so I decide that it's safe to smoke on the back porch instead of my usual spot in the driveway. The moment i passed through the door, i feel a line hit my head. I duck and rush through to the back patio. I turn and look for what hit me in the head while walking through the door. BAM! there's a spider, fast roping down on my last position. He spots me and holds. Upon closer inspection (from a safe distance of no less than 3 feet) I spot another spider in the same corner. No doutb waiting to back up his friend if he takes on more than he can handle.
I scream like a small child (on the inside, of course). think about how to swiftly take out my enemy, and determine that flame is what's required. My wife, moved out recently, so there's no hair spray for an improptu flame thrower. Then i remember that my propane torch is in my shed. I go in the house through the front door to illuminate the enemy position. Grab the torch from the shed and procede to get to work. First, I take out the initial aggressor and his position, then his buddy.......wait....what's that? I spot a third spider. He gets the flame too. I torched all three spiders and then put the torch up, went to the driveway to smoke in safety. Still shook up from the attack on my life. I am fairly certain that the spiders were not harmful. Yet, I am terrified of spiders and still shaking like a girl on the inside. Talk shit about my irrational fear of spiders if you want. But that shit was rough and I'm trying to shake it off as best I can (more jim bean, inside the safety of my home) Morale of the story: spiders are ruthless and will stop at nothing to take you out 
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I reckon I'll save that there image. mmmhmm. |
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UMMM HUMMM LOL 
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