Posted: 12/5/2011 10:41:37 AM EDT
| Thats short for Chaplain Assistant. I got duty all night, and I'm bored. |
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what do you see when you turn around? Hopefully not my chaplain. Who is Washington Irving? Is he in league with Irving Washington?
No idea what you’re talking about. What the hell does a Chaplain's Assistant do? [/ quote]
All depends on what type of unit there with. I'm with a strictly leaf eater/ non cool guy unit. Last deployment I made sure 1500 truckers/ mechanics/ logistic guys didnt want to shoot themselves or someone else in the face hole. Plus supported three services, two bible studies, and whatever else went on in my chapel. It was a good gig. This deployment i translate my Korean chaplains Korean/English gibberish into English. 
[quoteYou scored the MOS of the century. Lucky] Grass is always greener.... SOOO you are the replacement alter boy for man love thur. then?
Bitch please, I am man love thursdays. Desitin or Brodouxe's Butt Paste?
monkey butt |
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Beans or No Beans?  Beans, fucken heathens with their meat sauce. Cool!! I was a 71M back in the 90's. Where do you serve?
Fort Riley, 541st cssb, Pro Deo et Patria Arent you able to be armed?
I'm issued a M249. I qualify expert every time 
Want me to rub some liniment on it for ya?
TRG Yes, Clockwise motion, just the pinky finger. Are you crazy?
We had a good Chaplain's assistant on our last deployment, but on average the Chaplain's Assistant MOS seems to be filled to the brim with crazy It is. The chaplain branch is really fuckin weird that way. Tons of great ppl. Tons of shitbirds. That goes for chaplain assistants AND chaplains. I like to think I'm decent. As much as i hate the army sometimes, I really try to take care of my guys. |
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So, what really Chaps your Ass? People who automatically assume that my care packages are for them. Then get pissed when i tell them to stop rat fucking my car package. Just cause i bring around care packages to raise moral. Does not mean that EVERY BOX IN MY FUCKENIG JACK SHACK IS YOURs YOU SHITSTAIN BATTLE BUDDY FUCKER. Also, if you live in America for 20 years, and your Korean accent is so bad that NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU. To the point where my only duty becomes to translate for you. Then maybe you should put down your KOREAN BIBLE, and go to some speech classes..... that’s about it for now. |
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Quoted: Quoted: So, what really Chaps your Ass? People who automatically assume that my care packages are for them. Then get pissed when i tell them to stop rat fucking my car package. Just cause i bring around care packages to raise moral. Does not mean that EVERY BOX IN MY FUCKENIG JACK SHACK IS YOURs YOU SHITSTAIN BATTLE BUDDY FUCKER. Also, if you live in America for 20 years, and your Korean accent is so bad that NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU. To the point where my only duty becomes to translate for you. Then maybe you should put down your KOREAN BIBLE, and go to some speech classes..... that’s about it for now. |
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Quoted:
So, what really Chaps your Ass? People who automatically assume that my care packages are for them. Then get pissed when i tell them to stop rat fucking my car package. Just cause i bring around care packages to raise moral. Does not mean that EVERY BOX IN MY FUCKENIG JACK SHACK IS YOURs YOU SHITSTAIN BATTLE BUDDY FUCKER. Also, if you live in America for 20 years, and your Korean accent is so bad that NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU. To the point where my only duty becomes to translate for you. Then maybe you should put down your KOREAN BIBLE, and go to some speech classes..... that’s about it for now. 
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Do you know if the Catholic chaplains are going to start saying Mass in the Extraordinary form, i.e. in the Latin Tridentine version?
Don’t know but i can ask around. Are you responsible for the sacramental wine?
Yes. So wait, if the Chaplain is out in the middle of the battlefield giving last rights to the dead, you are next to him blazing away with your M-249 like mother fucking Rambo? Sweet.
No. Well technically, no. If we come under fire I’m supposed to move the chaplain to the safest place, as safely as possible, and as quickly as possible. That being said the only time I’ve ever dismounted outside the wire was on humanitarian missions. I would help pull security as chapy handed out gifts to kids. If we were to take fire then i would help with security and he'd stay with the rest of the VIP’s. Normally i was just a gunner whenever we convoyed. I'm not supposed to have a 249. I have one because I’m in a leaf eater unit that has no clue about combat. Normally chaplain assistants have m4's and m9's. |
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Your chaplains Korean huh?
snip [/div] I hope so other wise we have bigger problems then his accent. Do you have to be an ordained minister or seminary school graduate to get into the chaplain program?
You need to have a sponsor. Someone from a certain religious sect that backs you. In all actuality chaplains work for their sponsors not the army. A sponsor can pull their support of a chaplain at any time which means the chaplain is either released form service or find another sponsor. This was an issue for DADT and some sponsors pulled there sponsorship. As far as school goes I'm fairly certain you need a masters in religious studies, theological studies, or an equivalent. It's foggy because not all chaplains are Christian. The normal path is college and then seminary. I'm not a 100% on all of that though. One of the questions on our promotion exam was always "Where is the flag placed during church service?" I kept wanting to answer, "Don't ask me! Ask the Chaplains assistant!"
So, where does the flag go? I want to say on the left side of the alter. |
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Quoted:
Your chaplains Korean huh?
snip [/div] I hope so other wise we have bigger problems then his accent. Do you have to be an ordained minister or seminary school graduate to get into the chaplain program?
You need to have a sponsor. Someone from a certain religious sect that backs you. In all actuality chaplains work for their sponsors not the army. A sponsor can pull their support of a chaplain at any time which means the chaplain is either released form service or find another sponsor. This was an issue for DADT and some sponsors pulled there sponsorship. As far as school goes I'm fairly certain you need a masters in religious studies, theological studies, or an equivalent. It's foggy because not all chaplains are Christian. The normal path is college and then seminary. I'm not a 100% on all of that though. One of the questions on our promotion exam was always "Where is the flag placed during church service?" I kept wanting to answer, "Don't ask me! Ask the Chaplains assistant!"
So, where does the flag go? I want to say on the left side of the alter. You spelled altar wrong!!! Holy smokes, what kind of Chaplains Assistant are you???!!!!! Hmmm....poser, maybe? 
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I had a Korean chaplain in our battalion back in the '90s.
One day, we get word that he wants to come to our TOW platoon and administer a sermon. Our company Gunny gave us the brief before he showed up. "There's going to be a chaplain showing up today. He's a holy man, so don't be standing around fucking swearing and telling him fuck stories and shit. Got it?" A well meaning fellow (the chaplain-not the company Gunny), but yea he was hard to understand. Stay motivated killer. Duty sucks, but at least it only comes around so often. |
| Our Chaplain Assistant is named Smeagol . The dude even looks like Smeagol. We just got back from the field this weekend and I told him he should start talking in third person. He kind of looked at me funny. I thought it was a good suggestion. Man I'm a dick head. |
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Stay motivated killer. Duty sucks, but at least it only comes around so often.
I get to call home on the battalions dime. It's not bad. Just long. Our Chaplain Assistant is named Smeagol . The dude even looks like Smeagol. We just got back from the field this weekend and I told him he should start talking in third person. He kind of looked at me funny. I thought it was a good suggestion. Man I'm a dick head.
It's all good. I've chuckled at my chaplains invocation berfore.... while in formation.
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