Posted: 11/15/2011 4:22:06 PM EDT
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Which would win? |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIeL0g8GpXM&feature=youtube_gdata_player
A monkey would not last long. |
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Depending on the turtle, I would like to believe that the monkey would lose interest very quickly. Epically after getting bitten Snapping turtles don't let go. the monkey might rip the turtle off its hand losing a finger or fingers but it would end something like that |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIeL0g8GpXM&feature=youtube_gdata_player A monkey would not last long. That f'ing turtle is primeval 
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I know badgers, out of control chimps, wolverines and such are beloved for their ass kicking abilities - but compared to a big snapper - they are skirt wearing, hop scotch playing bubble gum chewing tots. end of story.
Damn jack in the box surprise explosiveness is not something to underestimate, especially with what, 10,000 lbs of prehistoric bite pressure? |
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I know badgers, out of control chimps, wolverines and such are beloved for their ass kicking abilities - but compared to a big snapper - they are skirt wearing, hop scotch playing bubble gum chewing tots. end of story. Damn jack in the box surprise explosiveness like the video above is not something to underestimate, especially with what, 10,000 lbs of prehistoric bite pressure? I saw a video on YouTube (view at your own risk–– very graphic) where a snapper was being fed rats. I was really surprised to see that the turtle would grab hold, pull them under, and then immediately take a hard swipe with one claw. It was amazing. He would decapitate or shred the rat with one swipe. And this was not a large turtle–– I'd estimate 10 lbs. I've seen 50+ lb snappers several times, and a 100+ lb turtle once while fishing. I have a new respect for those things. |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIeL0g8GpXM&feature=youtube_gdata_player A monkey would not last long. That f'ing turtle is primeval
When I was a kid back in the early 60s I visited the National Zoo and they had two Alligator Snappers in excess of 175 lbs. I guess they finially died as they just had a single 75 pounder there a few years ago when i took the Grandkid. I was really looking forward to seeing those old brutes but they were old to begin with so I guess they did not make it the 40 years between visits. 
They can live from 20-70 years and get 300#+. |
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Quoted:
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I know badgers, out of control chimps, wolverines and such are beloved for their ass kicking abilities - but compared to a big snapper - they are skirt wearing, hop scotch playing bubble gum chewing tots. end of story. Damn jack in the box surprise explosiveness like the video above is not something to underestimate, especially with what, 10,000 lbs of prehistoric bite pressure? I saw a video on YouTube (view at your own risk–– very graphic) where a snapper was being fed rats. I was really surprised to see that the turtle would grab hold, pull them under, and then immediately take a hard swipe with one claw. It was amazing. He would decapitate or shred the rat with one swipe. And this was not a large turtle–– I'd estimate 10 lbs. I've seen 50+ lb snappers several times, and a 100+ lb turtle once while fishing. I have a new respect for those things. I had to kill a big one out back in my pond a few years back. Looking at its paw/claw combo, looked like it should have been up in the Kodiak Islands tearing apart live salmon. |
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Good question, I say monkey......we know how frogs end up with them.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVE60zwXx1k
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Good question, I say monkey......we know how frogs end up with them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVE60zwXx1kI'd give money to see him try that with a real Alligator Snapping Turtle.
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Depends if the monkey remembered to bring his knife or not. As kids growing up in semi rural FL, we used to catch the snapper's cousin, the softshell turtle. He has a nasty mouth too. One time we had a mid size one hooked, brought him in, then the inevitable WTF do we do now. Can't dehook 'em. Usually cut the line. But instead I took out one of the family's "high quality" taiwan made steak knife (this was back early 70s ). You know the knife type, nice super fake plastic wood handle to give the utensil some class. Softshell grabbed the blade so it was in his mouth, blade right into the roof of it. We couldn't move the knife so we just slid it out sideways. I felt pretty bad but the turtle put a respectable set of crush marks into the edge of the blade. So to your point, a knife for the monkey is no guarantee with a snapper. |
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I'm thinking the monkey would learn pretty quick to stay away from the turtle's jaws. Then flip that turtle on it's back and have his way with it. I think you're wrong. I don't think the monkey will have an appreciation for the snapper and curiousity will bring it in too close. As soon as that snapper gets ahold of that monkey, he's done for. |
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I clicked this link really, really hoping it was a video.
I'm voting monkey. Either its speed and agility will allow it to circle around behind the snapper and grab it by the tail, or it could just haul ass outta dodge/up something if the snapper proved too large to handle. |
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I know badgers, out of control chimps, wolverines and such are beloved for their ass kicking abilities - but compared to a big snapper - they are skirt wearing, hop scotch playing bubble gum chewing tots. end of story. Damn jack in the box surprise explosiveness is not something to underestimate, especially with what, 10,000 lbs of prehistoric bite pressure? A chimp...really? It would destroy a turtle by multiple means. And I can't believe I entered one of these vs. threads. |
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A smaller monkey the turtle would win, but a large ape like a full-grown chimp or male gorilla would smash the shit out of one or just throw it around. Apes have been known to use weapons like rocks or tree branches. The turtle is armored, man....armored. |
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I had one of our local snapping turtles as a pet. He got big... about 20 pounds. Vicious son of a bitch. Started him on a diet of goldfish when he was little, and went to feeder mice when he got big.
A monkey might beat a smaller snapping turtle around here, but not an alligator snapper. Those things are huge! |
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Quoted: I clicked this link really, really hoping it was a video. I'm voting monkey. Either its speed and agility will allow it to circle around behind the snapper and grab it by the tail, or it could just haul ass outta dodge/up something if the snapper proved too large to handle. Took the letters out of my fingers. Monkey FTW. |