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AR15.COM
8/19/2011 11:57:15 AM EDT
Sucked, no surprise.

Hollywood just needs to stop it already. They have destroyed all my childhood hero's.

Nothing is sacred.
8/19/2011 11:59:23 AM EDT
[#1]
Quoted:
Sucked, no surprise.

Hollywood just needs to stop it already. They have destroyed all my childhood hero's.

Nothing is sacred.



I don't doubt you, but what sucked about it?
8/19/2011 11:59:55 AM EDT
[#2]
Was it a huge sappy romance?
8/19/2011 12:01:49 PM EDT
[#3]
Corny CGI shit and bad acting??
8/19/2011 12:03:37 PM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
Sucked, no surprise.

Hollywood just needs to stop it already. They have destroyed all my childhood hero's.

Nothing is sacred.


All your childhood hero's what?
8/19/2011 12:03:48 PM EDT
[#5]
The previews looked pretty good, IMHO.





Ron Perlman and Khal Drogo killin' motherfuckers like it ain't no thing? Did you expect 'Gone With The Samarian', or was there something in particular that the film failed to deliver?



ETA:







 
8/19/2011 12:04:02 PM EDT
[#6]
You shut your mouth!  He's the best late-night talk show host on TV!  




8/19/2011 12:04:52 PM EDT
[#7]
None of this?  " To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. "
8/19/2011 12:10:20 PM EDT
[#8]
That was a very enlightening review.
8/19/2011 12:12:19 PM EDT
[#9]



Quoted:



Nothing is sacred.


That's how we ended up with that retarded Ahnold movie instead of a decent adaptation.



 
8/19/2011 12:12:37 PM EDT
[#10]
Without giving any spoilers,

It's was like an MTV version of Conan. It was shot like a music video.

Huge chunks missing from the plot line. It's was like 30 minutes of the movie were edited out by a 10 year old who had no idea what the story was about.

Obviously the acting was horrible, this mamoa kid is soft looking, talks too much, acts like a retard. The villain was a pussy, didn't deliver evilness on any level.

The movie wasn't gritty and realistic, Cimmerians were portrayed as farmers, not warriors.



I could go on and on and on.


I've read every Conan novel by the time I was 10 at least 3 times, I've got them all on my iPad and read many of the stories to this day.



This movie version was a waste.
8/19/2011 12:15:21 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:

Quoted:

Nothing is sacred.

That's how we ended up with that retarded Ahnold movie instead of a decent adaptation.
 



I would agree. On it's own, the first one wasn't too bad as a barbarian movie and didn't insult the story of Conan too horribly. It certainly didn't do it justice, but it wasn't a slap in the face to Robert E Howard.

This one was worse than the Destroyer.
8/19/2011 12:16:02 PM EDT
[#12]
The actor who plays Conan will be worth seeing even if it sucks.



Khal Drogo is a badass
8/19/2011 1:36:03 PM EDT
[#13]
I'll probably go see it anyway
8/19/2011 1:39:26 PM EDT
[#14]
It sounds like you didn't turn your brain off and thus had high expectations and was let down.
8/19/2011 1:42:16 PM EDT
[#15]



Quoted:





Quoted:



Nothing is sacred.


That's how we ended up with that retarded Ahnold movie instead of a decent adaptation.

 


Enough talk!




 
8/19/2011 1:51:13 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

Nothing is sacred.

That's how we ended up with that retarded Ahnold movie instead of a decent adaptation.
 

Enough talk!
 



LOL!!!
8/19/2011 1:53:50 PM EDT
[#17]



Quoted:





Quoted:




Quoted:



Nothing is sacred.


That's how we ended up with that retarded Ahnold movie instead of a decent adaptation.

 


Enough talk!

 






 
8/19/2011 2:02:42 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
Without giving any spoilers,

It's was like an MTV version of Conan. It was shot like a music video.

Huge chunks missing from the plot line. It's was like 30 minutes of the movie were edited out by a 10 year old who had no idea what the story was about.

Obviously the acting was horrible, this mamoa kid is soft looking, talks too much, acts like a retard. The villain was a pussy, didn't deliver evilness on any level.

The movie wasn't gritty and realistic, Cimmerians were portrayed as farmers, not warriors.



I could go on and on and on.


I've read every Conan novel by the time I was 10 at least 3 times, I've got them all on my iPad and read many of the stories to this day.



This movie version was a waste.


They should have just made a Khal Drogo film.  He pulled off "I'm a bad ass not to be messed with" very well in that role.
8/19/2011 2:11:22 PM EDT
[#19]
I watched the original again for the 1000th time again last night - I can not see it enough times.  I expect the new version to be lame.  If you can get the DVD of the original it has some great deleted scenes and also a version with Arnold and the director giving play by play.  It's pretty cool.

M
8/19/2011 8:55:36 PM EDT
[#20]
i saw it in 3D tonight



it was cool, nice effects, good battles, interesting characters, a kracken, and BOOBIES!




I was expecting a big guy with a sword to smite things,

and thats what I got. Were my childhood memories of Conan ruined?

How could they? I saw boobies!






8/19/2011 9:05:07 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
i saw it in 3D tonight

it was cool, nice effects, good battles, interesting characters, a kracken, and BOOBIES!

I was expecting a big guy with a sword to smite things,
and thats what I got. Were my childhood memories of Conan ruined?
How could they? I saw boobies!




Now this is a review.  
8/19/2011 9:13:11 PM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
i saw it in 3D tonight

it was cool, nice effects, good battles, interesting characters, a kracken, and BOOBIES!

I was expecting a big guy with a sword to smite things,
and thats what I got. Were my childhood memories of Conan ruined?
How could they? I saw boobies!




My expectations exactly. We're talking CONAN here, not "The Grapes Of Wrath." Oh, there were pirates, too.
Pirates are always cool, unless they are some Johnny Depp fuck-boy pirates.

This new guy looked more what I expect Conan to look like, actually.

Good movie.

8/19/2011 9:22:57 PM EDT
[#23]
Just got back and I liked it.





It wasnt very polished, and there was a pretty good deal of over-acting, but I think that was just an issue with a noob director
8/19/2011 9:39:44 PM EDT
[#24]
Saw it, really enjoyed it.  Made the Arnold film look weak.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
8/19/2011 9:43:51 PM EDT
[#25]
Did Sheppard show up in a Jumper, kill the bad guys with drones, and save the day?
8/19/2011 10:12:34 PM EDT
[#26]
Quoted:
i saw it in 3D tonight

it was cool, nice effects, good battles, interesting characters, a kracken, and BOOBIES!

I was expecting a big guy with a sword to smite things,
and thats what I got. Were my childhood memories of Conan ruined?
How could they? I saw boobies!




Did the boobs really pop out in 3-D?
8/19/2011 10:37:15 PM EDT
[#27]
Needs more




8/19/2011 10:40:32 PM EDT
[#28]



Quoted:


i saw it in 3D tonight



it was cool, nice effects, good battles, interesting characters, a kracken, and BOOBIES!




I was expecting a big guy with a sword to smite things,

and thats what I got. Were my childhood memories of Conan ruined?

How could they? I saw boobies!








This  



Saw it tonight as well. Liked it.



 
8/20/2011 5:08:11 AM EDT
[#29]
The Boobies, they came at you IN 3D!!!!!





8/20/2011 5:26:16 AM EDT
[#30]
Who wrote the sceneplay on the new one?

Oliver Stone was the screen writer on the Arnold version.  
8/20/2011 5:40:00 AM EDT
[#31]
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816462/fullcredits#cast






written by:



Thomas Dean Donnelly  

Joshua Oppenheimer  

Sean Hood  
more importantly:



Alina Puscau...Slavegirl #1

Zlatka Raikova...Slavegirl #2
Vangelitsa Karadjova...Topless Wench

Blagovesta Cakova...Topless Wench

Svetlana Vasileva...Topless Wench

Zornitsa Stoicheva...Topless Wench

Zhenia Zheleva...Topless Wench

Nikol Vasileva...Topless Wench

Adriana Kalcheva...Topless Wench



Alexandrina Vladova...Belly Dancer

Guerguina Ilieva...Belly Dancer



Teodora Duhovnikova...Nun (Student #1)



Shelly Varod...Nun (Student #2)

Tezdjan Ahmedova...Nun

Uliana Vin...Nun

Yoanna Temelkova...Nun (as Yoana Temelkova)

Nadia Konakchieva...Nun

Petya Mlluseva...Nun

Ruslana Kaneva...Nun

Gloria Petkova...Nun

Zdravka Krastenyakova...Nun


8/20/2011 7:16:58 AM EDT
[#32]



I will just come straight out and say I very much enjoyed this version of Conan The Barbarian. No, it's not an Oscar contender, of course not. No, there are no big surprises either, the whole thing is pretty straightforward. But it fulfilled every expectation I had from a movie called "Conan The Barbarian". Much like the other recent Robert E. Howard adaptation from the same producers, 2009's Solomon Kane, and perhaps even more so, it's a perfectly sound, effective piece of entertainment, and compared to other films with similar ambitions, such as Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time, The Scorpion King and the Clash Of The Titans remake, it is much better.



First of all, the film looks very good. The world we are shown is vast and expansive. Indeed, Conan moves around a lot and we are introduced to scores of different environments, all beautifully conceived from amalgamations of different real-world cultures and with a realistic look and feel. Secondly, the film is not shy on violence and certainly earns its R rating. The (very) numerous action scenes range from very good to excellent and are in addition very bloody. In fact I'd go so far as to claim that the film is more bloody than director Marcus Nispel's remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday The 13th combined. In other words, you may not want to bring your kids and the squeamish may want to give this a pass, as there are some truly unpleasant scenes.



Tyler Bates' score is not particularly memorable after a first watch but is still strong, epic, and effective. Marcus Nispel has truly done a great job directing the film, and a strong sense of adventure seeps through every frame. He also seems to pay homage to John Milius in an early scene where Conan and his father forge a sword together, which echoes and looks very similar to the opening scene of the 1982 film. The 3D (post-converted) looks good and works well in the film.



As for the actors, Jason Momoa, best known as a TV actor up to this point with roles in Baywatch, North Shore, Stargate Atlantis and Game Of Thrones, does not possess the same presence as Arnold Schwarzenegger but delivers an adequate performance nonetheless. Teen Conan, played by the same kid who blew everyone away as Teen Snake Eyes in G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is very good here as well. Ron Perlman (Hellboy, Season Of The Witch) acts as his bearded father and does well as expected, and otherwise we have Stephen Lang (Avatar) as the bad guy, Rose McGowan (TV's Charmed and who was ironically previously attached to a Red Sonja reboot) as his daughter, Rachel Nichols (G.I. Joe) as the love interest and Saïd Taghmaoui (G.I. Joe) as one of Conan's buddies (3 former G.I. Joe actors in a single movie?). There's also that huge pile of muscles called Nathan Jones whom you might remember from the beginning of Troy. All do fine and apart from Perlman and Taghmaoui are rather unrecognizable.



The biggest question is how will 2011's movie audiences react to Conan The Barbarian, as it seems in many ways a relic of a bygone era. It's a very earnest film, that doesn't pretend to be anything else than what it is, where characters snarl at each other and raise their swords to the sky in a powerful thrust while screaming their lungs out while heroic music plays on the soundtrack. Yet somehow, for some reason modern audiences seem to think they're above this sort of thing and tend to snicker at such things. They might call it unsophisticated and silly. But I am rooting for Conan The Barbarian. I hope that people will be able to appreciate it for what it is instead of mocking it for those same reasons. I hope it is successful enough to green-light the planned Red Sonja film starring Amber Heard as well as Conan sequels. I would like to see this become a franchise.



In short the film looks great, is decently acted, has a Morgan Freeman sound-alike narrating, offers plenty of imaginative action scenes and is just altogether entertaining, which is the most important thing. A job well done.







8/20/2011 10:14:08 AM EDT
[#33]
Watching it alt-tab - it's all I can do to stay awake. Needs more stabbing and less monologues.
8/20/2011 10:31:15 AM EDT
[#34]
I'll see it anyway as I don't trust Arfcoms reviews.
8/20/2011 10:45:14 AM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Sucked, no surprise.

Hollywood just needs to stop it already. They have destroyed all my childhood hero's.

Nothing is sacred.



I don't doubt you, but what sucked about it?


The part in between the opening credits and the ending credits.

There were maybe max 50 people in the theater I watched the movie in.

3 walked out during the movie.
8/20/2011 10:51:53 AM EDT
[#36]
Interdasting!