If you are depressed, think life isn't worth living, or just need someone to talk to:Please......... (Page 81 of 83)
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I actually spent the time to read some of this thread today for the first time. A year ago I was drinking every day. Alot. Liver labs were ridiculous, cholesterol was bad, and I was way overweight. Marriage was more like a roommate situation. I don't really know what motivated me, but I started going to the doctor. Alot. I went into a 12 step program for alcohol (AA). I'd love to tell you that I haven't had a drink for that full year, but I just crossed 7 months. My weight is down over 50lbs, and my labs are all back to normal. I can tell you that AA saved my life. I went there to stop drinking, but realized eventually that it actually taught me a new way to live. My family trusts me again. I mean trusts me as in babysit my 7mos old grandson alone trust. I say all of this to say I had all but given up for about the last ten years of my life. But knew I was still there inside somewhere. I just had to find me again. I encourage anyone to check out a 12 step program such as AA, NA, or Celebrate Recovery through a local church. I went to therapists and shrinks for years and never had the progress in dealing with my mental health the way I have in AA. I'm talking 30 years of LE and USMC mental health issues. I love you guys and if anyone ever needs to talk, please hit me up. I like to think that the pain each of us endures is actually a gift that enables each of us to empathize and help others later. Life is all about perspective. My truck broke down - I own a truck My job sucks - I have a job Paycheck was shorted - I got paid Daughter is in the hospital - I have a daughter I have to... - I get to... Hang in there. Life can and will turn around. |
A smart man only believes half of what he hears, a wise man knows which half.
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Originally Posted By mongo001: I'll start by saying that I am not suicidal, but wish alot of this shit would end. Read alot of this thread and feel like a poor excuse of a man for even bringing it up. I'm 56. Been hooked on porn since my early teens. Analog back then. Digital made it much worse. Smart phones made it exponentially worse for me. Alcohol started before I was legal. Easy to hit parties with ship mates that would turn a blind eye to a youngster. Both are tearing my marriage apart. I know right from wrong. I know the correct path, but choose the wrong path too many times. Think she's had enough. A little over a year ago, I decided online wasn't enough. Decided I need some live action. Wasn't even smart enough to get off the starting line before I was busted. Volunteered for therapy. Weekly for the duration since. Tried journaling and reading. It helps, but I can't find "solutions". Seems common consesus is the porn and alcohol are coping mechanisms covering up deeper issues, likely early childhood trauma. I come from a broken family, would have been considered "poor" in my early years, normal for an 80s kid. For the last year or so, I've made huge attempts to curd both porn and alcohol. But the world never stopped dealing me gut punches that I need to deal with. Sometimes it's too much. The escapes I relied on for 40 years are suddenly unusable. So I find a way. She's got some tracking stuff on my phone, but I get drunk, don't give a fuck and go get my fix. I might have burned my last bridge on Friday. For now, I just needed to get this out Hang in there, Mongo. I hope things turn around for you. |
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Originally Posted By QueenDeNile: Have you ever been tested for SIBO? You mentioned acid reflux which made me think about your gut. Can you describe your anxiety? Forgive me if I missed it before. Originally Posted By QueenDeNile: Have you ever been tested for SIBO? You mentioned acid reflux which made me think about your gut. Can you describe your anxiety? Forgive me if I missed it before. @QueenDeNile Just general anxiety, no panic attacks, just raises to an amount that I back off from the things that bother me the most. The two big areas are women and my job/career. Approaching either of those task is like about a 3rd the level of a good near miss tire screeching car crash. It's enough discomfort I back away. Years past I'd go out drinking to socialize and to meet women and the booze helped quiet the nerves. Sex drive urge is over powering enough I put up with the anxiety just to satiate it but I struggle making the effort to begin with and not been in many meaningful or long relationships (longest has been 2 years and got dumped because I wasn't ambitious enough vis a vis my career anxiety). Work/career I just shrink when it comes to job search or being my own advocate to bosses. Same near car crash feeling. I've floundered in a string of entry level jobs since college. Ive stuck around in bad jobs until I hit rock bottom emotionally (suicidally depressed at my first job with an insanely toxic boss that I walked out of) or have been laid off. Basically been stuck in a perpetual mid life crisis/existential "what do I want to do with my life" since I was a teen. Joe Rogan had Tom Segura on and they were talking about this exact thing a few days ago on his podcast, people they know that never able to get it together. People in their 40s and beyond (just turned 41 myself) that let fear paralyze them their whole lives and never reached out for anything bigger. After the first job I went on ssris and started therapy which was about 7-8 years ago. Was on prozac, welbutrin, buspar, and trazadone for a while. My clinician wanted to keep stacking new stuff but I eventually weened of prozac and quit buspar because they weren't working and gave me shitty side effects. She's been leaning on me to try an SNRI for about a year now but Ive refused since Ive had bad reactions to all my medications at some point and nothing has worked. For the first few years I saw a CBT therapist but it really didn't seem to go anywhere. I would get to a point in immersion therapy where it became uncomfortable Id back away and my therapist really wouldn't push me. Eventually asked my clinician to switch therapist hoping to find a better fit. She suggested just a general councilor who is more of a life coach for people on probation. Im glad to get my feelings out to someone every few weeks but ultimately Ive been spinning my wheels and not "improving" with him. My clinician has refused to switch me to a new therapista third time, saying it is on me (which ultimately it is to a certain extent). Ive been thinking of quiting and finding a new office. This one has been a little too comfortable taking my money in the same holding pattern for years. On top of all of this Ive been dealing with this undiagnosed illness for the past 3 years now where I down for weeks on end every 3 weeks or so. Seems to be under control with the prilosec I am on if I take it consistently so there might be a light at the end of this tunnel. Though my ENT seems ambivalent about just keeping me on it forever since it seems to be working. Originally Posted By Gingerbreadman: I haven't beaten anxiety, but I've managed to get enough of a hold on it that it generally isn't the obstacle that it was. Sometimes I'm even able to leverage it into an advantage. Usually that means I stack it on with my chronic hypervigilence and stay on top of things at work when it gets chaotic. That's kind of a knife-edge thing though, and can lead to me crashing out even harder if it doesn't go well. Im stuck at a point where I will start focusing on every day task that help me avoid sinking into ruminating. Ill be generally happy that I don't focus on the noise so much but these task are all just avoiding the big two triggers I laid out above. Working on my car and taking walks are nice but don't move me anywhere. |
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Originally Posted By QueenDeNile: In my signature line is my email address please feel free to send me a message. I would be happy to visit with you and see if I can help you feel better. If you just need someone to talk to, that's fine as well. Hang in there! [email protected] QueenDeNile has been site banned, so she can't respond in this thread any more. If you want a response from her, use the email address above. |
Exposure to views that distress and offend is a form of education unto itself. -U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit in Reges v Cauce
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I’ve posted here several times, and Things never get better. It really sucks being poor and old. At least I feel old mentally. Every single day is just fighting to survive. I feel like my whole existence as a human is just for other humans to sap money from me. My value as a human is nothing more than dollar signs. I’m almost 62 and it’s too late for a lot of things that I’ve missed out on. My whole life has been a waste of time. I’ve accomplished nothing. NOTHING. I have nothing. No money, no house, no wife, gf, kids. My pets are the only thing keeping me from ending this miserable life. I hate where I live. HATE is an understatement. Especially specifically this wannabe apt, and its diversity. I hate this city. I can’t move without money. There’s no jobs here. Nothing entry level that pays anything. I’ve wasted a whole life by taking jobs just to have a job. It’s gotten me nowhere. Everyone always says. “Just find anything until you find something better”. Well that something better never happens. It’s just a cycle of shitty job after shitty job. I’ve tried those postal contracts from queendeniles thread, but there always some jackass underbidding me. Lately it’s been the same tiny LLC out of Montana they snatched a couple if Idaho contracts from me. They are underbidding everyone which is a red flag, but I guess the USPS doesn’t care. I would have loved to move there. Landing one of those would be life changing. New vehicle, house etc etc. and get the fuck out of here. I can’t do anymore 117 degree summers. I’m so tired of 24/7 stress and worry. It’s all about money. Nothing but money. My life is worth nothing without money. I could die right now and no one would know or care. |
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Originally Posted By dbmers: I’ve posted here several times, and Things never get better. It really sucks being poor and old. At least I feel old mentally. Every single day is just fighting to survive. I feel like my whole existence as a human is just for other humans to sap money from me. My value as a human is nothing more than dollar signs. I’m almost 62 and it’s too late for a lot of things that I’ve missed out on. My whole life has been a waste of time. I’ve accomplished nothing. NOTHING. I have nothing. No money, no house, no wife, gf, kids. My pets are the only thing keeping me from ending this miserable life. I hate where I live. HATE is an understatement. Especially specifically this wannabe apt, and its diversity. I hate this city. I can’t move without money. There’s no jobs here. Nothing entry level that pays anything. I’ve wasted a whole life by taking jobs just to have a job. It’s gotten me nowhere. Everyone always says. “Just find anything until you find something better”. Well that something better never happens. It’s just a cycle of shitty job after shitty job. I’ve tried those postal contracts from queendeniles thread, but there always some jackass underbidding me. Lately it’s been the same tiny LLC out of Montana they snatched a couple if Idaho contracts from me. They are underbidding everyone which is a red flag, but I guess the USPS doesn’t care. I would have loved to move there. Landing one of those would be life changing. New vehicle, house etc etc. and get the fuck out of here. I can’t do anymore 117 degree summers. I’m so tired of 24/7 stress and worry. It’s all about money. Nothing but money. My life is worth nothing without money. I could die right now and no one would know or care. @dbmers, Praying for you. Jesus loves you man, and HE wants to give you peace and hope. I've had to remind myself of His Word when feeling down and defeated. I cried out to Him and sought Him with all my heart. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you peace and rest. "Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find peace for your souls. "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light". Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of GOD and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Jesus is our righteousness. |
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Originally Posted By dbmers: I've posted here several times, and Things never get better. It really sucks being poor and old. At least I feel old mentally. Every single day is just fighting to survive. I feel like my whole existence as a human is just for other humans to sap money from me. My value as a human is nothing more than dollar signs. I'm almost 62 and it's too late for a lot of things that I've missed out on. My whole life has been a waste of time. I've accomplished nothing. NOTHING. I have nothing. No money, no house, no wife, gf, kids. My pets are the only thing keeping me from ending this miserable life. I hate where I live. HATE is an understatement. Especially specifically this wannabe apt, and its diversity. I hate this city. I can't move without money. There's no jobs here. Nothing entry level that pays anything. I've wasted a whole life by taking jobs just to have a job. It's gotten me nowhere. Everyone always says. "Just find anything until you find something better". Well that something better never happens. It's just a cycle of shitty job after shitty job. I've tried those postal contracts from queendeniles thread, but there always some jackass underbidding me. Lately it's been the same tiny LLC out of Montana they snatched a couple if Idaho contracts from me. They are underbidding everyone which is a red flag, but I guess the USPS doesn't care. I would have loved to move there. Landing one of those would be life changing. New vehicle, house etc etc. and get the fuck out of here. I can't do anymore 117 degree summers. I'm so tired of 24/7 stress and worry. It's all about money. Nothing but money. My life is worth nothing without money. I could die right now and no one would know or care. |
dfwlabrescue.org
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Originally Posted By PepePewPew: QueenDeNile has been site banned, so she can't respond in this thread any more. If you want a response from her, use the email address above. Wow. 
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"I carry a gun because it is my responsibility alone - not that of the police, nor the government, nor the community - to defend the precious lives that God has entrusted to me."
Will Dougan, writing in gomemphis.com 08/17/03
Will Dougan, writing in gomemphis.com 08/17/03
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Originally Posted By sheltot: Have you applied for early Social Security benefits? Originally Posted By sheltot: Originally Posted By dbmers: I've posted here several times, and Things never get better. It really sucks being poor and old. At least I feel old mentally. Every single day is just fighting to survive. I feel like my whole existence as a human is just for other humans to sap money from me. My value as a human is nothing more than dollar signs. I'm almost 62 and it's too late for a lot of things that I've missed out on. My whole life has been a waste of time. I've accomplished nothing. NOTHING. I have nothing. No money, no house, no wife, gf, kids. My pets are the only thing keeping me from ending this miserable life. I hate where I live. HATE is an understatement. Especially specifically this wannabe apt, and its diversity. I hate this city. I can't move without money. There's no jobs here. Nothing entry level that pays anything. I've wasted a whole life by taking jobs just to have a job. It's gotten me nowhere. Everyone always says. "Just find anything until you find something better". Well that something better never happens. It's just a cycle of shitty job after shitty job. I've tried those postal contracts from queendeniles thread, but there always some jackass underbidding me. Lately it's been the same tiny LLC out of Montana they snatched a couple if Idaho contracts from me. They are underbidding everyone which is a red flag, but I guess the USPS doesn't care. I would have loved to move there. Landing one of those would be life changing. New vehicle, house etc etc. and get the fuck out of here. I can't do anymore 117 degree summers. I'm so tired of 24/7 stress and worry. It's all about money. Nothing but money. My life is worth nothing without money. I could die right now and no one would know or care. No. Everything I’ve read says taking it early is the worst thing you can do. |
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Originally Posted By dbmers: No. Everything I've read says taking it early is the worst thing you can do. Originally Posted By dbmers: Originally Posted By sheltot: Originally Posted By dbmers: I've posted here several times, and Things never get better. It really sucks being poor and old. At least I feel old mentally. Every single day is just fighting to survive. I feel like my whole existence as a human is just for other humans to sap money from me. My value as a human is nothing more than dollar signs. I'm almost 62 and it's too late for a lot of things that I've missed out on. My whole life has been a waste of time. I've accomplished nothing. NOTHING. I have nothing. No money, no house, no wife, gf, kids. My pets are the only thing keeping me from ending this miserable life. I hate where I live. HATE is an understatement. Especially specifically this wannabe apt, and its diversity. I hate this city. I can't move without money. There's no jobs here. Nothing entry level that pays anything. I've wasted a whole life by taking jobs just to have a job. It's gotten me nowhere. Everyone always says. "Just find anything until you find something better". Well that something better never happens. It's just a cycle of shitty job after shitty job. I've tried those postal contracts from queendeniles thread, but there always some jackass underbidding me. Lately it's been the same tiny LLC out of Montana they snatched a couple if Idaho contracts from me. They are underbidding everyone which is a red flag, but I guess the USPS doesn't care. I would have loved to move there. Landing one of those would be life changing. New vehicle, house etc etc. and get the fuck out of here. I can't do anymore 117 degree summers. I'm so tired of 24/7 stress and worry. It's all about money. Nothing but money. My life is worth nothing without money. I could die right now and no one would know or care. No. Everything I've read says taking it early is the worst thing you can do. |
dfwlabrescue.org
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Originally Posted By sheltot: You can log on and see what your benefits would be if you take them at various ages. You might even be able to call and ask. I just checked and I get 600 more at 67 and 1000 more at 70 compared to taking it early. It would be ok but I just read somewhere that if you take it early you are stuck at that amount until you croak. |
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Originally Posted By dbmers: I just checked and I get 600 more at 67 and 1000 more at 70 compared to taking it early. It would be ok but I just read somewhere that if you take it early you are stuck at that amount until you croak. |
dfwlabrescue.org
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I'm in northern Kentucky, right across from Cincinnati, Ohio where I work. If anyone wants to talk about any of this just let me know. Older brother took his way out route 25 years ago and we are still dealing with that. Time does not heal all wounds, it does numb them a bit. I'd be open to talking 11Bravo shit because I've been there done that. Let's meet at Braxton's or similar and hang out. |
Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way!
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Originally Posted By dbmers: I just checked and I get 600 more at 67 and 1000 more at 70 compared to taking it early. It would be ok but I just read somewhere that if you take it early you are stuck at that amount until you croak. Also, until you are 67, they take a cut of it if you earn over a bout $25K. So, ultimately you should be retired if you start collecting before 67. Whether I am still working or not I am collecting at 67 because nothing would piss me off more than waiting to 70 and then croaking at 71. Good luck to you, sounds like you need a break. |
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Originally Posted By Boingo: Also, until you are 67, they take a cut of it if you earn over a bout $25K. So, ultimately you should be retired if you start collecting before 67. Whether I am still working or not I am collecting at 67 because nothing would piss me off more than waiting to 70 and then croaking at 71. Good luck to you, sounds like you need a break. Originally Posted By Boingo: Originally Posted By dbmers: I just checked and I get 600 more at 67 and 1000 more at 70 compared to taking it early. It would be ok but I just read somewhere that if you take it early you are stuck at that amount until you croak. Also, until you are 67, they take a cut of it if you earn over a bout $25K. So, ultimately you should be retired if you start collecting before 67. Whether I am still working or not I am collecting at 67 because nothing would piss me off more than waiting to 70 and then croaking at 71. Good luck to you, sounds like you need a break. I need more than a break. I feel like it’s too late for almost everything now. All I can hope for is a lucky break, and at least live in some comfort before I die. The postal contract I mentioned would be great. It would be enough to get everything I need and want, but I keep getting underbid by contract collectors and of course the USPS is gonna cheap out even if it bites them in the ass later on. All I want isn’t really that much but seems out of reach. A comfortable place to live a new vehicle and a little bit of land for my dog to run around and I can grow some food and raise some chickens, and to move out of this heat. Northern Az, or Idaho. |
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Originally Posted By kymarkh: I'm in northern Kentucky, right across from Cincinnati, Ohio where I work. If anyone wants to talk about any of this just let me know. Older brother took his way out route 25 years ago and we are still dealing with that. Time does not heal all wounds, it does numb them a bit. I'd be open to talking 11Bravo shit because I've been there done that. Let's meet at Braxton's or similar and hang out. Good of you to offer that  Sorry about your brother, good description of what time does |
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Wait until you are 70 years or older. If you are a man, you are invisible. In church, no one cares. If you speak up, you are wrong. I stopped attending church because they focus on families, women, and children. When you are over 60 years of age, you have no meaning. No one cares. |
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Originally Posted By CaptainO: Wait until you are 70 years or older. If you are a man, you are invisible. In church, no one cares. If you speak up, you are wrong. I stopped attending church because they focus on families, women, and children. When you are over 60 years of age, you have no meaning. No one cares. |
dfwlabrescue.org
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Originally Posted By CaptainO: Wait until you are 70 years or older. If you are a man, you are invisible. In church, no one cares. If you speak up, you are wrong. I stopped attending church because they focus on families, women, and children. When you are over 60 years of age, you have no meaning. No one cares. Sad to say this has been my experience. I felt that way long before 70. If you are an older single white male with no kids you are invisible. No one notices you exist. The one thing that bothers me a lot is if I die no one will know for at least 2 weeks, and that will only be my shitty apt management wanting rent. No one will know about my dog and cats. |
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I really wish I would win the lotto tomorrow. Reading all of these threads...I would fly to each of you brothers and relieve you of your situations and make your life better. I really wish and hope I can....I want that as a mission to make everyone happier and better and relieve them of their financial issues. hang in there......I pray for each and everyone of you guys here. |
“Liberty and love
These two I must have.
For my love, I’ll sacrifice
My life.
For liberty, I’ll sacrifice
My love.”
Petofi Sándor
These two I must have.
For my love, I’ll sacrifice
My life.
For liberty, I’ll sacrifice
My love.”
Petofi Sándor
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In our society, men are seen as "expendable" and/or vestigial. Our only purpose is to produce and generate income so that women can enjoy life. Even reproduction is "optional". When women tire of us, they divorce or drop us and find another. Remaining single after four divorces and 5 deaths (four children who died at birth and one wife who died from diabetic complications), life can get very tiresome. Trust me, it gets old. |
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Originally Posted By dbmers: Sad to say this has been my experience. I felt that way long before 70. If you are an older single white male with no kids you are invisible. No one notices you exist. The one thing that bothers me a lot is if I die no one will know for at least 2 weeks, and that will only be my shitty apt management wanting rent. No one will know about my dog and cats. @dbmers I’m in the same boat, we could message each other every day and if one of doesn’t respond then we can call the coroner  sorry dark humor!I will pray for everyone in this thread, my problems seem very small compared to some. I am with the Hungarian dude, I wish I could win the lotto as well and spend my life giving it back. |
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I went to law school about 30 years ago, and one of the things I remember is (IIRC), you could tell your attorney just about anything except you were going to kill a person and it was legally protected information ("attorney client privilege"). In other words, if my client said "I am going to kill this person", then that would be the only time I'd have to report. Seriously harm? I dunno. You CAN have confidence in talking to your attorney. If you had thoughts about harming yourself and wanted a confident, who could you speak to: I believe medical professionals have some sort of privacy rules. A priest? I doubt it. Your relatives, of course not. Someone on this forum, um no. If you were in this situation, and this is a gun hobbyist forum, it has a chilling effect. Your hobby gone (but you have a life), and maybe even worse, but then again life is important. Has anyone else thought about this issue? I had my best friend attempt suicide but he was clearly on the decline. He was a Vietnam War vet and his quality of life had a drastic downturn for the worse. I don't condemn him. Sorry if this goes against the grain, but I think a real discussion of the issues involved is important. |
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Originally Posted By MtnMan307: I went to law school about 30 years ago, and one of the things I remember is (IIRC), you could tell your attorney just about anything except you were going to kill a person and it was legally protected information ("attorney client privilege"). In other words, if my client said "I am going to kill this person", then that would be the only time I'd have to report. Seriously harm? I dunno. You CAN have confidence in talking to your attorney. If you had thoughts about harming yourself and wanted a confident, who could you speak to: I believe medical professionals have some sort of privacy rules. A priest? I doubt it. Your relatives, of course not. Someone on this forum, um no. If you were in this situation, and this is a gun hobbyist forum, it has a chilling effect. Your hobby gone (but you have a life), and maybe even worse, but then again life is important. Has anyone else thought about this issue? I had my best friend attempt suicide but he was clearly on the decline. He was a Vietnam War vet and his quality of life had a drastic downturn for the worse. I don't condemn him. Sorry if this goes against the grain, but I think a real discussion of the issues involved is important. After having gone to a couple suicides one thing I will never forget is the wail from a woman who doesn’t even know she is a widow. If I could bring back one of those guys I would. There are people struggling and I absolutely would not want them to lose their hobby. But I totally get where you’re coming from, if anyone needs to talk I am on the site frequently. I would do anything for anyone to stop that, it’s affected me more than anything else. I have the hope that I will get a message before someone takes that step. I have a feeling this thread exists because we lost some people that could possibly have made it  Men have a stigma with mental health, the fact is we suffer just like everyone else. I am retired now, but I still think about those guys all the time. Who else is going to remember them? If anyone is adverse to posting here you can always message me. |
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@Justinandfreyja You sir are a true gentleman. Life is far more important than our firearm hobby, after all you have no hobbies when you're dead. I guess what we're talking about is people who are teetering on that final decision and one night after drinking or a bad day the final decision is made. They say farmers the world over have a higher suicide rate than other groups and this is because they have access to all kinds of tools, poisons, etc. I think firearm owners would also be in a high risk category, simply because they have the tools. I live in rural areas in different states, and in one area I live in, it's kind of a dark secret how prevalent suicide is. I'd have to think hard of a family in that area who hasn't been affected by it. I didn't mean to quash any discussion and I frankly wonder if you underwent some sort of medical help that the government would come over and confiscate all your guns. I've had several problems throughout my life, some of them serious, and I'm constantly amazed that no one notices. I wish that people could jump into my mind and see what's going on. I've been having intense back pain for the past 2 months. I wish my doctor could feel what I'm dealing with but I just get prescribed some variation of Advil, which has no noticeable effect. When I was younger, I could literally work morning to night and even 10 years ago the same. Now I'm probably at 60% or lower, though I'm still very successful, but who cares if you're in a great deal of pain. |
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Truth be told, society doesn't care about men. 1. "Take it like a man." I have buried four children and a wife. (I have taken enough.) 99% of the time, men suffer in silence. 2. Divorce only hurts women. (I don't know how to break it to you, Buckwheat, but men suffer more than women in nearly every divorce. both emotionally and financially.) 3. Society does not care about men. We are expected to shoulder every financial and emotional difficulty without a peep. (We're strong men, we can handle it.) 4. "The Church cares about men." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! The Church focuses on families, women, and children. Single men are an afterthought, if at all. The church caters endlessly to widows. On the other hand, widowers receive a comforting pat on the back and a "we'll pray for you." Read: 'Buck up, bunkie, and deal with it.' (Been there, lived that.) 5. We are expected to provide for women from the time we meet (dating and courtship) until after we are buried (last will). These stressors are what lead to mental breakdowns and crises. Society expects men to deal with it because that's what we're told from the time we are old enough to walk, until we take our final breath. And people wonder why men commit suicide disproportionately to women. It shouldn't take a PhD in Psychology to figure this one out. |
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Originally Posted By CaptainO: Truth be told, society doesn't care about men. 1. "Take it like a man." I have buried four children and a wife. (I have taken enough.) 99% of the time, men suffer in silence. 2. Divorce only hurts women. (I don't know how to break it to you, Buckwheat, but men suffer more than women in nearly every divorce. both emotionally and financially.) 3. Society does not care about men. We are expected to shoulder every financial and emotional difficulty without a peep. (We're strong men, we can handle it.) 4. "The Church cares about men." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! The Church focuses on families, women, and children. Single men are an afterthought, if at all. The church caters endlessly to widows. On the other hand, widowers receive a comforting pat on the back and a "we'll pray for you." Read: 'Buck up, bunkie, and deal with it.' (Been there, lived that.) 5. We are expected to provide for women from the time we meet (dating and courtship) until after we are buried (last will). These stressors are what lead to mental breakdowns and crises. Society expects men to deal with it because that's what we're told from the time we are old enough to walk, until we take our final breath. And people wonder why men commit suicide disproportionately to women. It shouldn't take a PhD in Psychology to figure this one out. Statistically, women attempt suicide more than men. However, men are more successful in carrying out the attempt. |
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Lucky Guy (from Todd Rundgren's 1978 album "Hermit of Mink Hollow"). Some people don't seem real at all Unafraid of any mountain Sure that the gods won't let him fall Should he fall, he will always get up again And if he's hurt, he never shows it If he's wrong, nobody knows it Seems like he never has to try He just must be a lucky guy Yeah, oh, ooh-ooh-ooh And when there's pain, he never minds it When it's lost, he always finds it Nobody really knows just why He just must be a lucky guy I wish I was that lucky guy |
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Im thankful for this thread. Never had to put a reply in it, but I dont know what else to do. I just turned 40. Im married, have 3 daughters. Work in LE. I make a good living. Just very recently buried my dad, my oldest sister committed suicide a couple years ago also. I have only ever felt like giving up this badly once before in my life. My wife had an affair that lasted about 4 years as far as I know, and ended about 10 years ago roughly. She is the most important thing to me in this life, and i love her more than anything, and cannot fathom drawing breath without her. Things were obviously not perfect but we stayed together after, did therapy, counseling, all the things. Things were ok more or less until about a year or so ago. She is also just under 40. I dont know if its me, or menopause setting in, or what, but she has become completely cold towards me. Nothing i try to do or say has helped so far, and its to the point where it honestly feels like my entire existence is an annoyance to her. obviously there is basically no physical intimacy, but it hasnt completely stopped. I feel rejected, unwanted and lonely. Attempts to discuss it with her are never productive and always end up in a fight and me being labeled as the problem of everything. I honestly and truly dont know what to do. Her mom divorced her dad after about 20 years of marriage, and we are at that point also, and im terrified that despite her saying she wants this marriage and this life, that a bomb is hovering overhead and I dont know if at this point in life if I will be able to fight through that if it happens. Any advice or insight or just kind words would be appreciated. Im definitely not suicidal or anything close to that. I just dont know what to do and I dont want to feel like this anymore. |
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Originally Posted By mediumdaddy: Im thankful for this thread. Never had to put a reply in it, but I dont know what else to do. I just turned 40. Im married, have 3 daughters. Work in LE. I make a good living. Just very recently buried my dad, my oldest sister committed suicide a couple years ago also. I have only ever felt like giving up this badly once before in my life. My wife had an affair that lasted about 4 years as far as I know, and ended about 10 years ago roughly. She is the most important thing to me in this life, and i love her more than anything, and cannot fathom drawing breath without her. Things were obviously not perfect but we stayed together after, did therapy, counseling, all the things. Things were ok more or less until about a year or so ago. She is also just under 40. I dont know if its me, or menopause setting in, or what, but she has become completely cold towards me. Nothing i try to do or say has helped so far, and its to the point where it honestly feels like my entire existence is an annoyance to her. obviously there is basically no physical intimacy, but it hasnt completely stopped. I feel rejected, unwanted and lonely. Attempts to discuss it with her are never productive and always end up in a fight and me being labeled as the problem of everything. I honestly and truly dont know what to do. Her mom divorced her dad after about 20 years of marriage, and we are at that point also, and im terrified that despite her saying she wants this marriage and this life, that a bomb is hovering overhead and I dont know if at this point in life if I will be able to fight through that if it happens. Any advice or insight or just kind words would be appreciated. Im definitely not suicidal or anything close to that. I just dont know what to do and I dont want to feel like this anymore. I have been through it four times and buried one of them. Make a plan and prepare to live on your own. It is NOT healthy to live for someone else. You must learn to live for yourself. It takes two to be a couple, but only one to be by yourself. You can't control what she does. Since she has already been unfaithful at one point in the relationship, it wouldn't take much for her to do it again. Protect yourself. |
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Originally Posted By mediumdaddy: Im thankful for this thread. Never had to put a reply in it, but I dont know what else to do. I just turned 40. Im married, have 3 daughters. Work in LE. I make a good living. Just very recently buried my dad, my oldest sister committed suicide a couple years ago also. I have only ever felt like giving up this badly once before in my life. My wife had an affair that lasted about 4 years as far as I know, and ended about 10 years ago roughly. She is the most important thing to me in this life, and i love her more than anything, and cannot fathom drawing breath without her. Things were obviously not perfect but we stayed together after, did therapy, counseling, all the things. Things were ok more or less until about a year or so ago. She is also just under 40. I dont know if its me, or menopause setting in, or what, but she has become completely cold towards me. Nothing i try to do or say has helped so far, and its to the point where it honestly feels like my entire existence is an annoyance to her. obviously there is basically no physical intimacy, but it hasnt completely stopped. I feel rejected, unwanted and lonely. Attempts to discuss it with her are never productive and always end up in a fight and me being labeled as the problem of everything. I honestly and truly dont know what to do. Her mom divorced her dad after about 20 years of marriage, and we are at that point also, and im terrified that despite her saying she wants this marriage and this life, that a bomb is hovering overhead and I dont know if at this point in life if I will be able to fight through that if it happens. Any advice or insight or just kind words would be appreciated. Im definitely not suicidal or anything close to that. I just dont know what to do and I dont want to feel like this anymore. Sorry to hear your going through this, prayers your way for you & the family. No real advice to offer, other than try to stay focused on your daughters & wife. I know in your job it is easy to let it take over your life, don't live your life for it. Do you guys go to church? Try to get involved in something as a family that you all can enjoy. I hope things get better, please post or IM if you need anything (even venting) |
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Originally Posted By mediumdaddy: Im thankful for this thread. Never had to put a reply in it, but I dont know what else to do. I just turned 40. Im married, have 3 daughters. Work in LE. I make a good living. Just very recently buried my dad, my oldest sister committed suicide a couple years ago also. I have only ever felt like giving up this badly once before in my life. My wife had an affair that lasted about 4 years as far as I know, and ended about 10 years ago roughly. She is the most important thing to me in this life, and i love her more than anything, and cannot fathom drawing breath without her. Things were obviously not perfect but we stayed together after, did therapy, counseling, all the things. Things were ok more or less until about a year or so ago. She is also just under 40. I dont know if its me, or menopause setting in, or what, but she has become completely cold towards me. Nothing i try to do or say has helped so far, and its to the point where it honestly feels like my entire existence is an annoyance to her. obviously there is basically no physical intimacy, but it hasnt completely stopped. I feel rejected, unwanted and lonely. Attempts to discuss it with her are never productive and always end up in a fight and me being labeled as the problem of everything. I honestly and truly dont know what to do. Her mom divorced her dad after about 20 years of marriage, and we are at that point also, and im terrified that despite her saying she wants this marriage and this life, that a bomb is hovering overhead and I dont know if at this point in life if I will be able to fight through that if it happens. Any advice or insight or just kind words would be appreciated. Im definitely not suicidal or anything close to that. I just dont know what to do and I dont want to feel like this anymore. I completely understand. I know you love both your wife and daughters. Fight for the love of your daughters, because they are, truly, your flesh. It is difficult to stand alone (we men feel socially compelled to do this because we are men). Seek God and draw your daughters close ot you. Explain to your wife that the stress of the relationship is more difficult than that of the outfit. Feel free to message me to discuss this further. I am willing to help any way I can. |
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So close to happily ever after. So fucking close. Now it's all ripped away again. Why the fuck even bother. |
Some people think I'm over-prepared, paranoid, maybe even a little crazy. But they never met any Precambrian lifeforms, did they.
Proud supporter of Team Ranstad
Survivor: Arfbortion 2016
Arfcom Callsign: Slingshot
Proud supporter of Team Ranstad
Survivor: Arfbortion 2016
Arfcom Callsign: Slingshot
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The only communications I get these days are calls, text, etc are scams/spammers or company thanking me for paying my bill (as if I had a choice). I think about "that" just about everyday. I grew up (mil brat) using payphones, WALKING to a friend's house and "hey you wanna hang out" sure, playing N64 game or whatever. I'm taking the slow way out but haven't ruled out the fast way. Almost did the fast way once. These days people have "Friends" on Facebook. Are they really your friends? People at work are friends. Until you make a mistake and get fired because mgmt wasnt available, they are no longer your friends. Got fired because the owner is a cheapskate, blamed my programs on the CNCs and lack of caring for the machines physical care on their part. Loved that job otherwise. I was the supervisor as well. |
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Nvm. Wife fucked herself up again and is now bedridden...again Supposed to finally move to our own house in a month but money is fucked Same old whiny bullshit |
Some people think I'm over-prepared, paranoid, maybe even a little crazy. But they never met any Precambrian lifeforms, did they.
Proud supporter of Team Ranstad
Survivor: Arfbortion 2016
Arfcom Callsign: Slingshot
Proud supporter of Team Ranstad
Survivor: Arfbortion 2016
Arfcom Callsign: Slingshot
|
What's the "final move"? Do you have a job lined up in Texas? Is there some reason you can't just hop in the car and drive there? You can get the rest of your stuff later. Or never. It sounds like you would be better served just not caring about it. Is there some reason you can't leave your wife long enough to go to work? She doesn't sound so old that she can't get by on her own for a few hours. And if she doesn't find a way to turn it around it's going to be much worse when she gets older. She's not a child, you shouldn't have to take care of her. Put some water bottles in a cooler and a potty chair by the couch and let her figure it out. |
This is just a test