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Posted: 8/5/2011 3:56:38 AM EDT
[#1]
Originally Posted By EdAvilaSr:
Originally Posted By swingset:
I've mentioned a couple times in the recent threads about this, but I'll repeat it here hopefully someone reads it and takes it to heart. Snip Trust me when I say that I have taken all advice given -especially yours and that from others with training/experience- to heart. I would never say anything negative to someone who is in an emotionally vulnerable position. I've already been contacted by a member, the word is getting out. I like Snow's idea for a separate forum section. That said, speaking from personal experiences, there is going to need to be some basic ground-rules laid-out very soon. There is some potential for abuse and tragedy here, and these discussions need to be kept confidential between parties. Volunteers should understand there is a fine line between good intentions and the need for professional assistance. We have some good physicians on the site, seeking their input on ground-rules would be wise. |
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USA
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Posted: 8/5/2011 3:58:52 AM EDT
[#2]
Originally Posted By Rattlehead502:
Originally Posted By EdAvilaSr:
Originally Posted By swingset:
I've mentioned a couple times in the recent threads about this, but I'll repeat it here hopefully someone reads it and takes it to heart. Snip Trust me when I say that I have taken all advice given -especially yours and that from others with training/experience- to heart. I would never say anything negative to someone who is in an emotionally vulnerable position. I've already been contacted by a member, the word is getting out. I like Snow's idea for a separate forum section. That said, speaking from personal experiences, there is going to need to be some basic ground-rules laid-out very soon. There is some potential for abuse and tragedy here, and these discussions need to be kept confidential between parties. Volunteers should understand there is a fine line between good intentions and the need for professional assistance. We have some good physicians on the site, seeking their input on ground-rules would be wise. I was thinking the same thing. As much as I am wiling to help and I know others are... someone is going to take advantage. Happens every time without fail. I don't necessarily know how that could happen but I can see abuse cropping up. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 4:36:30 AM EDT
[#3]
Some suggestions I have to think about:
- Keep all contacts confidential unless a KNOWN emergency situation presents itself. - Unless you're a professional, don't act like one. Know your limits, and where to draw the line. - If face-to-face contact is warranted, keep it to public places. - Don't go where you're not prepared to go. Know when to step back. - Respect everyone's privacy, keep the exchange of personal info to a minimum. - Only try to help people to help themselves. Encourage those who need it to seek professional help. You cannot do it for them. - Be aware of the issues surrounding self-medication. Substance abuse is often a coping/self-treatment mechanism with complex interactions, not just a personal choice. - Realize that you can be easily overwhelmed yourself. A drowning person can drag you down with them if you let them. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 4:47:33 AM EDT
[#4]
Thanks EdAvilaSr,
I am a pastor and have handled many a suicide watch/situation. Feel free to contact me if you need me.. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 5:15:17 AM EDT
[Last Edit: oregonblackrifle]
[#5]
Anybody, anywhere need some one to talk too, please get a hold of me. I check this site everyday.
I had gotten to know Fammy pretty well over the past year, and am still tore up over his untimely death, and would have takled to him for hours if need be so please get a hold of me and we will chat about anything. Also, I am in the South Coast Oregon area, I would be happy to sit down faceto face with anyone as well. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 5:56:27 AM EDT
[#6]
Originally Posted By BigeasySnow:
Originally Posted By xwarp:
Originally Posted By swingset:
I've mentioned a couple times in the recent threads about this, but I'll repeat it here hopefully someone reads it and takes it to heart. Don't be mean or try tough love with someone who's possibly suicidal. This isn't the situation where being billy-badass is going to snap someone to and make them love life again. Try to understand that a lot of what fuels suicidal thoughts and actions are self-loathing, a feeling that you're worthless or not worth saving. Lashing out at someone and telling them to "man up" or "stop being a pussy" (I've seen both of these in recent days) is not helpful. Someone who's hating themselves will turn that inward and feel even less worthwhile. That kind of stuff makes YOU feel better, but it doesn't make THEM feel better. There isn't a suicide helpline on planet earth, guided by health professionals with 100 years of psychological practice and experience, that would suggest telling someone to stop being a pussy. They are not rational, they are not thinking clearly like you are, they are hurt and wanting to make the ultimate mistake, and don't need pushing. What to say? Most people in the depths of depression or despair want desperately to know that they're not alone, that someone understands what they're going through and that it's not wrong to feel like that. And, they want to know that someone has an interest in them still being around, that someone who's been down there at the bottom understands and assures them that there are better days ahead and people who love them and want them to get better. Reach out, offer kindness and a sympathetic ear. Suggest a helpline, or talking to a health professional, tell them it's not a sign of being broken just a good healthy tool to start getting back to feeling good again. Be a friend, even if it's to just some guy on ARFcom. Don't be abrasive, it's not helpful at all. I am not a suicide counselor, but did addiction counseling and this was stuff we covered in how to deal with distraught or suicidal or self-destructive people. I'm sure others have more experience with this than me, who might chime in with more. qft. i have experience with this since i was the last person to speak with a family member who was very special to me that an hour and half later after speaking with him, decided to end it all. his death was tragic and needless and then having to tell his mother was the tip of the iceberg. i would like to recommend there be a special forum or something for when someone that posts anything indicating this action to be moved to along with THOSE THAT ARE TRULY WILLING TO HELP, in an isolated area where the clowns of gd that like to post the "man up, stop being a pussy" can't access. Considering how much mental illness and interpersonal issues we have around here, a mental health and coping forum might not be a bad idea. Somewhere like the religious forum, or the women's area where you have to behave extra nicely. This. Unfortunately, in my line of work I have experience and training in dealing with suicide. Family notifications are especially difficult. I'd be more than delighted to never have to do another one. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 5:57:21 AM EDT
[#7]
Originally Posted By Rattlehead502:
Some suggestions I have to think about: - Keep all contacts confidential unless a KNOWN emergency situation presents itself. - Unless you're a professional, don't act like one. Know your limits, and where to draw the line. - If face-to-face contact is warranted, keep it to public places. - Don't go where you're not prepared to go. Know when to step back. - Respect everyone's privacy, keep the exchange of personal info to a minimum. - Only try to help people to help themselves. Encourage those who need it to seek professional help. You cannot do it for them. - Be aware of the issues surrounding self-medication. Substance abuse is often a coping/self-treatment mechanism with complex interactions, not just a personal choice. - Realize that you can be easily overwhelmed yourself. A drowning person can drag you down with them if you let them. Well said |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 5:58:22 AM EDT
[#8]
Mr. Avila, email sent. And to anyone in the mountain west, feel free to contact me, or stop by for a nice iced tea and a chat on my back deck.
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Posted: 8/5/2011 9:07:16 AM EDT
[Last Edit: EdAvilaSr]
[#9]
I want to thank all of you who have offered suggestions and/or have agreed to help in these cases, as needed.
Time has proven that we are not just another website for the gun loving conservative community. We are an extended family that cares for each other. We need no more tragedies and hopefully with your help we can make a difference for those who are in need. One of the problems we have in our country today, is that the government has taken over the function that family,neighbors,friends,churches, etc used to perform, but unfortunately abandoned not so long ago. Taking care of the sick, those fallen on hard times,etc is our job as a community, not the government's, and -God willing- we will do it |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 10:39:35 AM EDT
[#10]
I hear on many forums how members call it a "community" but this one truly is one.
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Posted: 8/5/2011 10:42:59 AM EDT
[#11]
Originally Posted By Rattlehead502:
Some suggestions I have to think about: - Keep all contacts confidential unless a KNOWN emergency situation presents itself. - Unless you're a professional, don't act like one. Know your limits, and where to draw the line. - If face-to-face contact is warranted, keep it to public places. - Don't go where you're not prepared to go. Know when to step back. - Respect everyone's privacy, keep the exchange of personal info to a minimum. - Only try to help people to help themselves. Encourage those who need it to seek professional help. You cannot do it for them. - Be aware of the issues surrounding self-medication. Substance abuse is often a coping/self-treatment mechanism with complex interactions, not just a personal choice. - Realize that you can be easily overwhelmed yourself. A drowning person can drag you down with them if you let them. and because this is a firearms forum, weapons may be involved. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 11:06:25 AM EDT
[#12]
It would be nice if everyone gave someone here they trust their phone number.
Obviously we aren't going to openly post everyone's phone number, but someone should have your number to get a hold of you. Just a contact person who will call and check on ya if something comes up. I know that having a person I consider a friend would be a better person to talk to me than someone who's screen name I might not recognize. I certainly realize the need for professionals, but maybe somethings could be averted before it comes to that with just a call from a friend and a recognition of "someone cares about me" I can think of at least a dozen people who have my number and I'm pretty sure would be burning my phone up if something happened to me or if I were acting strangely but none of them stalk me....except TRG. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 11:22:19 AM EDT
[#13]
Originally Posted By KPR:
Originally Posted By Rattlehead502:
Some suggestions I have to think about: - Keep all contacts confidential unless a KNOWN emergency situation presents itself. - Unless you're a professional, don't act like one. Know your limits, and where to draw the line. - If face-to-face contact is warranted, keep it to public places. - Don't go where you're not prepared to go. Know when to step back. - Respect everyone's privacy, keep the exchange of personal info to a minimum. - Only try to help people to help themselves. Encourage those who need it to seek professional help. You cannot do it for them. - Be aware of the issues surrounding self-medication. Substance abuse is often a coping/self-treatment mechanism with complex interactions, not just a personal choice. - Realize that you can be easily overwhelmed yourself. A drowning person can drag you down with them if you let them. and because this is a firearms forum, weapons may be involved. Very true, especially for those doing HTF or face-to-face out-reach. Feel free to add to this, your ideas may be of assistance to others. Some additions: - Cultivate a sense of trust and mutual respect into your postings, which many already have. - Look for ways to integrate the message into HTF functions you attend to get the word out. You might even include it in your pre-shoot safety briefs. - Don't take on too much at one time. - Network with other volunteers on certain topics. - Establish clear means of communication; I'd recommend setting up a discrete separate email account if you choose to use email. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 12:11:35 PM EDT
[Last Edit: dragongoddess]
[#14]
Just FYI from WebMD
Also if a friend has had a major stress event involving relationships,family,health,job,financial or other events keep a watchful eye on them. Maybe spend some extra time with them but let them know you are there. Warning signs that someone may be thinking about or planning to commit suicide include: Always talking or thinking about death Clinical depression –– deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating –– that gets worse Having a "death wish," tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death such as driving fast or running red lights Losing interest in things one used to care about Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will Saying things like "it would be better if I wasn't here" or "I want out" Sudden, unexpected switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy Talking about suicide or killing one's self Visiting or calling people to say goodbye Giving things away is also another thing to watch for |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 1:17:17 PM EDT
[#15]
Originally Posted By krpind:
It would be nice if everyone gave someone here they trust their phone number. Obviously we aren't going to openly post everyone's phone number, but someone should have your number to get a hold of you. Just a contact person who will call and check on ya if something comes up. I know that having a person I consider a friend would be a better person to talk to me than someone who's screen name I might not recognize. I certainly realize the need for professionals, but maybe somethings could be averted before it comes to that with just a call from a friend and a recognition of "someone cares about me" I can think of at least a dozen people who have my number and I'm pretty sure would be burning my phone up if something happened to me or if I were acting strangely but none of them stalk me....except TRG. I agree, and somewhat expect that to be the "better" case scenario, thus my comment in the first post: "If any of you have any suspicion that a fellow member is contemplating suicide, is in serious depression, etc and you feel you need help, contact any Staff member and ask them to pass the information on to me...........or send me an IM" I have a good personal relationship with a lot of people outside my state of residence, but I have a close relationship with the crew in upstate NY (and even some in NYC/NJ) and feel we can trust each other with personal problems. We are not isolated. If we could have a similar situation in other HTFs (I know many already have this) it would help those who are less likely to call for help when they need it |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 2:17:00 PM EDT
[#16]
I've thought about it quite a few times over the last few years. Like you said, the only thing that stopped me was thinking about how much it would devastate my family. Then regular exercise got me out of the depression.
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WA, USA
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Posted: 8/5/2011 3:44:56 PM EDT
[#17]
shit... I figure this could be useful for me
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Posted: 8/5/2011 4:15:59 PM EDT
[#18]
Originally Posted By WAPump:
shit... I figure this could be useful for me if you need to talk, send me a phone # and I will call you right now |
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NJ, USA
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Posted: 8/5/2011 4:27:10 PM EDT
[#19]
As someone who struggles with depression cheers Sir for taking time to help members.
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USA
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Posted: 8/5/2011 5:41:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Dzialosza]
[#20]
It's good to talk about this topic, so many people have no idea how insidious depression can be on a person. And many if not most men do not like to talk about there feelings. This thread just lets guys know it's Ok to talk about problems.
I have learned to talk with family members about mine, but it took a long time to be able to open up about feelings. I have been dealing with Dysthymia (Depression) for years, I see a MD about once a month for it. I also have Type 1 diabetes and chronic long term Ulcerative colitis which compounds the the problems of depression. The only reason I am listing my health problems is because I had long talk with a Doctor just a few weeks ago. About how illness can bring on serious depression in men who are having medical problems for the first time in there lives. He told me that a lot of his middle age male patients fall into this category. For me the hardest part of depression is the loneliness you feel, it can be overwhelming. When you are depressed or sick, you tend to lose friends. I don't talk to any of the friends I had before I became sick (not by choice). It can be very hard on your friends and family, especially if they do not understand depression or long-term illness. I spend a lot time online, it helps. But I think depression can hit the young guys the hardest, and they can be the ones most at risk. And worse many young guys that I know turn too alcohol to help with depression. That is just throwing fuel on the fire, it's very sad to see a younger guy going through it. If any of you guys are going through hard times, get help, talk too someone!!! It does not mean your weak or any less of a man to ask for help. Getting help to me means, your taking care of yourself, and it also helps the people in your life. And that means your helping your friends and family, and that is something a man does. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 6:13:09 PM EDT
[#21]
Ed,
I am a former CISM (Critical Incident Stress Mgmt) Peer from my time in the USCG. I can't send IM's right now as I'm on my phone, but add me to the list of those willing and able to help. I'm in Colorado and always willing to help out whenever needed. I know what its like to want to be in the dumps (imagine being a 25y/o male having to deal with cancer, a colostomy bag, catch your wife having an affair, and losing yourf job... all within 8 months), so I can say I've BT&AlmostDT. -SleeperShooter Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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WA, USA
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Posted: 8/5/2011 7:41:53 PM EDT
[#22]
Originally Posted By EdAvilaSr:
Originally Posted By WAPump:
shit... I figure this could be useful for me if you need to talk, send me a phone # and I will call you right now The offer is appreciated |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 8:34:27 PM EDT
[#23]
Not many have stared down the abyss and can understand what it is really like.
Anyone, members of the site or not, can IM me at any time. If I can't get to you I will refer you to someone who can. |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 8:47:20 PM EDT
[#24]
Originally Posted By NoloContendere:
Ed, Thanks for this. Hopefully people that need help will reach out. Ed, thanks for doing this. I will ask my wife (not a member) for advise on the topic and if she might be able to lend a hand. She is currently a stay at home mom with our daughter, but remains a registered nurse who was working with clinically depressed,suicidal, and mentally ill patients until she was ready to give birth. Her insite on the matter may be useful Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 8/5/2011 9:06:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: odontia32m]
[#25]
Originally Posted By ModelCitizen:
Does this mean said person won't risk losing their firearms rights for life after being identified as a suicide risk (as they are here in IL)? If you go without a 72 hour emergency hold (go willingly) most states and the ATF show no interest in that. As a rural hospital supervisor I helped many a guy make the smart decision at the time and not be held. I also educated our nurses that did intake to try to give them a choice to ask for help. Some of the nurses were quick to put a 72 hour hold on patients and thus eliminate rights after they recover. I would gladly help in Southern Indiana in any way I can. Depression is a dark place that is not helped with man up and tough guy theatrics but understanding, support and empathy. The healing can take a lifetime to get out of that dark place. |
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IN, USA
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Posted: 8/5/2011 9:54:42 PM EDT
[#26]
Thank you. As someone who's struggled with depression before, I know just how excruciating and soul sucking it is, and how easily your mind can be drawn to the unthinkable. But i also know that it DOES get better, and you should never make a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I hope other people dealing with depression realize that too.
That's a great gesture, and it means a hell of a lot to some of us. |
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USA
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Posted: 8/5/2011 11:41:35 PM EDT
[#27]
Originally Posted By SleeperShooter:
Ed, I am a former CISM (Critical Incident Stress Mgmt) Peer from my time in the USCG. I can't send IM's right now as I'm on my phone, but add me to the list of those willing and able to help. I'm in Colorado and always willing to help out whenever needed. I know what its like to want to be in the dumps (imagine being a 25y/o male having to deal with cancer, a colostomy bag, catch your wife having an affair, and losing yourf job... all within 8 months), so I can say I've BT&AlmostDT. -SleeperShooter Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Brother, I can't claim any of that shit but if YOU need someone to talk to, PM me. 
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Posted: 8/6/2011 12:25:26 AM EDT
[#28]
I'm on the list. Kingpin38506 and unit687 both have my contact info. I'm just an EMT, but I have dealt with this subject through the job. Always here for ar15.com.
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Posted: 8/6/2011 1:25:31 AM EDT
[#29]
Originally Posted By Razoreye:
Originally Posted By SleeperShooter:
Ed, I am a former CISM (Critical Incident Stress Mgmt) Peer from my time in the USCG. I can't send IM's right now as I'm on my phone, but add me to the list of those willing and able to help. I'm in Colorado and always willing to help out whenever needed. I know what its like to want to be in the dumps (imagine being a 25y/o male having to deal with cancer, a colostomy bag, catch your wife having an affair, and losing yourf job... all within 8 months), so I can say I've BT&AlmostDT. -SleeperShooter Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Brother, I can't claim any of that shit but if YOU need someone to talk to, PM me. Thanks, but things that don't kill you only make you stronger. While I tend to agree with the motto that everything happens for a reason, it's sometimes very hard to see the silver lining in the thundercloud of hatred and depression. I worked through my issues and learned valuable lessons from going through them.
-SS |
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Posted: 8/6/2011 2:11:00 AM EDT
[#30]
Depression sucks. RHDT. PTSD sucks. BTDT. Thanks to Ed Sr. for bringing the force of Arfcom to bear upon this issue with our members!
A BS is Psych isn't much, but my contact info isn't hard to find from my sigline if you want to chat or go do something to blow off steam... Thanks, Lee |
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Posted: 8/6/2011 1:22:43 PM EDT
[#31]
Originally Posted By FordGuy:
Ed, you are a high quality human being.  Yes he is.  
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Posted: 8/6/2011 2:18:07 PM EDT
[#32]
This hit home for me:
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - William Gibson |
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Posted: 8/6/2011 5:15:29 PM EDT
[Last Edit: usjet]
[#33]
Thank you Ed- 39 years ago, 3 days after I got married, I spent nearly 7 hours at the bedside of a friend talking him out of pulling the trigger of the Luger he had stuck in his mouth- sadly, 25 years after that, he burned himself to death (girlfriend in leaving took all his guns- cops found a vice on the kitchen table with a 45 acp cartridge with the back end beat to hell- he'd tried to ignite the loose cartridge) the pain of living was just too much for Nick- 25 yrs or a full, natural life, I will do anything to save the life of a friend- and you never know who will become a friend- I will be available to help Anyone who asks. This I have taken several days to think about- time is even shorter than $ these days- but I am nothing special, and if I can help someone in a bad time, I will be there......
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Posted: 8/6/2011 7:42:31 PM EDT
[#34]
My god is just and kind and his name is Ed.
I'm in, if anyone around here needs to talk or bitch or whatever. Finding my contact info is easy, but if you need it, anyone can feel free to PM me or get in touch with Ed, he can hit me up. If talking doesn't do the trick, I'll make 'em build a little something something out of steel and they'll realize that there is some shit just worth living for. |
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Posted: 8/6/2011 9:09:51 PM EDT
[#35]
Originally Posted By EdAvilaSr:
Originally Posted By WAPump:
shit... I figure this could be useful for me if you need to talk, send me a phone # and I will call you right now Hope you send your info WAPump. It would be good for you to talk. Best wishes to you Brother. |
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AZ, USA
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Posted: 8/6/2011 9:12:06 PM EDT
[#36]
My sweet daughter Taylor was 16. She took her own life 5 weeks ago today. I was at home when she did it and when I found her my 11 year old son was behind me so he saw her as well. It is devastating my family and my wife blames me for not knowing she was dying while I was home and has said she cannot stay married to me now. There were no signs, note or warnings. We did have an argument earlier due to me reminding her she was grounded that weekend because of how she had talked to her mom and myself earlier in the week and she was mad about that. She even texted her boyfriend that they would text later after his movie. She than made a big belt loop around her closet clothing rod and leaned into it, passed out and died from asphyxiation. She was a great girl. She was in the comedy club at school , went to bible study almost every week and as a family we where all so very close, she had great friends and was the most unselfish person I ever knew. I cannot help but think the outcome was not intentional but her actions did cause her death. Had I not been home I would have been sure it was a homicide.
I have been blow away from this event especially from finding her body and the manner in which she chose and how she looked. Im not suicidal at all so no worries there. My wife on the other hand concerns me and we are all seeking counseling. As well all firearms have been removed from the home. If we can consider adding professional support contacts for the survivors of those who have been affected by suicide I would appreciate it. |
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Posted: 8/6/2011 9:21:36 PM EDT
[#37]
way to be proactive.....good job
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Posted: 8/6/2011 9:23:33 PM EDT
[#38]
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
My sweet daughter Taylor was 16. She took her own life 5 weeks ago today. I was at home when she did it and when I found her my 11 year old son was behind me so he saw her as well. It is devastating my family and my wife blames me for not knowing she was dying while I was home and has said she cannot stay married to me now. There were no signs, note or warnings. We did have an argument earlier due to me reminding her she was grounded that weekend because of how she had talked to her mom and myself earlier in the week and she was mad about that. She even texted her boyfriend that they would text later after his movie. She than made a big belt loop around her closet clothing rod and leaned into it, passed out and died from asphyxiation. She was a great girl. She was in the comedy club at school , went to bible study almost every week and as a family we where all so very close, she had great friends and was the most unselfish person I ever knew. I cannot help but think the outcome was not intentional but her actions did cause her death. Had I not been home I would have been sure it was a homicide. I have been blow away from this event especially from finding her body and the manner in which she chose and how she looked. Im not suicidal at all so no worries there. My wife on the other hand concerns me and we are all seeking counseling. As well all firearms have been removed from the home. If we can consider adding professional support contacts for the survivors of those who have been affected by suicide I would appreciate it. If you need assistance, let me know. |
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Posted: 8/6/2011 10:00:31 PM EDT
[#39]
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
My sweet daughter Taylor was 16. She took her own life 5 weeks ago today. I was at home when she did it and when I found her my 11 year old son was behind me so he saw her as well. It is devastating my family and my wife blames me for not knowing she was dying while I was home and has said she cannot stay married to me now. There were no signs, note or warnings. We did have an argument earlier due to me reminding her she was grounded that weekend because of how she had talked to her mom and myself earlier in the week and she was mad about that. She even texted her boyfriend that they would text later after his movie. She than made a big belt loop around her closet clothing rod and leaned into it, passed out and died from asphyxiation. She was a great girl. She was in the comedy club at school , went to bible study almost every week and as a family we where all so very close, she had great friends and was the most unselfish person I ever knew. I cannot help but think the outcome was not intentional but her actions did cause her death. Had I not been home I would have been sure it was a homicide. I have been blow away from this event especially from finding her body and the manner in which she chose and how she looked. Im not suicidal at all so no worries there. My wife on the other hand concerns me and we are all seeking counseling. As well all firearms have been removed from the home. If we can consider adding professional support contacts for the survivors of those who have been affected by suicide I would appreciate it. There is nothing I can say except I am so sorry for your loss. After a local boy took his own life recently I had a long talk with both my teenagers tried to tell them of the troubles I had growing up hope it made a difference |
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Posted: 8/6/2011 10:30:51 PM EDT
[#40]
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
My sweet daughter Taylor was 16. If we can consider adding professional support contacts for the survivors of those who have been affected by suicide I would appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss. Seek out a shoulder, it does not show weakness. BTDT. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) http://www.road2healing.com/index.html?gclid=CKyFhLiRvKoCFQ4q7AodcxzV5g |
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AZ, USA
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Posted: 8/6/2011 11:32:28 PM EDT
[#41]
Originally Posted By Iowaredneck:
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
My sweet daughter Taylor was 16. She took her own life 5 weeks ago today. I was at home when she did it and when I found her my 11 year old son was behind me so he saw her as well. It is devastating my family and my wife blames me for not knowing she was dying while I was home and has said she cannot stay married to me now. There were no signs, note or warnings. We did have an argument earlier due to me reminding her she was grounded that weekend because of how she had talked to her mom and myself earlier in the week and she was mad about that. She even texted her boyfriend that they would text later after his movie. She than made a big belt loop around her closet clothing rod and leaned into it, passed out and died from asphyxiation. She was a great girl. She was in the comedy club at school , went to bible study almost every week and as a family we where all so very close, she had great friends and was the most unselfish person I ever knew. I cannot help but think the outcome was not intentional but her actions did cause her death. Had I not been home I would have been sure it was a homicide. I have been blow away from this event especially from finding her body and the manner in which she chose and how she looked. Im not suicidal at all so no worries there. My wife on the other hand concerns me and we are all seeking counseling. As well all firearms have been removed from the home. If we can consider adding professional support contacts for the survivors of those who have been affected by suicide I would appreciate it. There is nothing I can say except I am so sorry for your loss. After a local boy took his own life recently I had a long talk with both my teenagers tried to tell them of the troubles I had growing up hope it made a difference Taylor had a close friend who took his life using his father's service weapon a few years back. We talked a few times about this and the devastation it leaves behind. She was so mad and upset that he did this. I thought I had done my part as a dad to "have the talk" in regards to suicide. I never truly worried about this being the cause of the loss of one of my children. I have a day job but as a volunteer federal and local first responder and helping keep others safe, in the end I could not keep my own daughter safe. I am sure this is part of why my wife is so angry. Our house was always the safety net for the neighbor kids who where in some turmoil and offered our support and advice. We cleaned up the neighborhood by applying pressure on 2 homeowners who where supplying drugs and the neighbors thought the world of us and our kids. We live in suburbia and had the perfect family. If it can happen to me I truly believe we are all vulnerable. After talking to the detective it seems this is an option that kids today are using more than ever. |
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Posted: 8/6/2011 11:49:37 PM EDT
[#42]
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep: My sweet daughter Taylor was 16. She took her own life 5 weeks ago today. I was at home when she did it and when I found her my 11 year old son was behind me so he saw her as well. It is devastating my family and my wife blames me for not knowing she was dying while I was home and has said she cannot stay married to me now. There were no signs, note or warnings. We did have an argument earlier due to me reminding her she was grounded that weekend because of how she had talked to her mom and myself earlier in the week and she was mad about that. She even texted her boyfriend that they would text later after his movie. She than made a big belt loop around her closet clothing rod and leaned into it, passed out and died from asphyxiation. She was a great girl. She was in the comedy club at school , went to bible study almost every week and as a family we where all so very close, she had great friends and was the most unselfish person I ever knew. I cannot help but think the outcome was not intentional but her actions did cause her death. Had I not been home I would have been sure it was a homicide. I have been blow away from this event especially from finding her body and the manner in which she chose and how she looked. Im not suicidal at all so no worries there. My wife on the other hand concerns me and we are all seeking counseling. As well all firearms have been removed from the home. If we can consider adding professional support contacts for the survivors of those who have been affected by suicide I would appreciate it. Wow, I am truely sorry for your loss. Stay strong for your son. |
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Posted: 8/7/2011 3:05:08 AM EDT
[#43]
Originally Posted By WAPump:
Originally Posted By EdAvilaSr:
Originally Posted By WAPump:
shit... I figure this could be useful for me if you need to talk, send me a phone # and I will call you right now The offer is appreciated Don't know which part of WA you're in but if you need someone to hang out with or talk to let me know. Send me a PM if you want. |
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WA, USA
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Posted: 8/7/2011 3:44:42 AM EDT
[#44]
Originally Posted By UndercoverFed:
Originally Posted By WAPump:
Originally Posted By EdAvilaSr:
Originally Posted By WAPump:
shit... I figure this could be useful for me if you need to talk, send me a phone # and I will call you right now The offer is appreciated Don't know which part of WA you're in but if you need someone to hang out with or talk to let me know. Send me a PM if you want. I'm just north of Seattle in Shoreline. Where are you at? |
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Posted: 8/7/2011 4:21:12 AM EDT
[#45]
Originally Posted By WAPump:
Originally Posted By UndercoverFed:
Originally Posted By WAPump:
Originally Posted By EdAvilaSr:
Originally Posted By WAPump:
shit... I figure this could be useful for me if you need to talk, send me a phone # and I will call you right now The offer is appreciated Don't know which part of WA you're in but if you need someone to hang out with or talk to let me know. Send me a PM if you want. I'm just north of Seattle in Shoreline. Where are you at? Oh man I'm close. I'm in north bothell which is like 15 minutes away. |
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USA
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Posted: 8/7/2011 9:04:16 AM EDT
[#46]
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
Originally Posted By Iowaredneck:
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
My sweet daughter Taylor was 16. She took her own life 5 weeks ago today. I was at home when she did it and when I found her my 11 year old son was behind me so he saw her as well. It is devastating my family and my wife blames me for not knowing she was dying while I was home and has said she cannot stay married to me now. There were no signs, note or warnings. We did have an argument earlier due to me reminding her she was grounded that weekend because of how she had talked to her mom and myself earlier in the week and she was mad about that. She even texted her boyfriend that they would text later after his movie. She than made a big belt loop around her closet clothing rod and leaned into it, passed out and died from asphyxiation. She was a great girl. She was in the comedy club at school , went to bible study almost every week and as a family we where all so very close, she had great friends and was the most unselfish person I ever knew. I cannot help but think the outcome was not intentional but her actions did cause her death. Had I not been home I would have been sure it was a homicide. I have been blow away from this event especially from finding her body and the manner in which she chose and how she looked. Im not suicidal at all so no worries there. My wife on the other hand concerns me and we are all seeking counseling. As well all firearms have been removed from the home. If we can consider adding professional support contacts for the survivors of those who have been affected by suicide I would appreciate it. There is nothing I can say except I am so sorry for your loss. After a local boy took his own life recently I had a long talk with both my teenagers tried to tell them of the troubles I had growing up hope it made a difference Taylor had a close friend who took his life using his father's service weapon a few years back. We talked a few times about this and the devastation it leaves behind. She was so mad and upset that he did this. I thought I had done my part as a dad to "have the talk" in regards to suicide. I never truly worried about this being the cause of the loss of one of my children. I have a day job but as a volunteer federal and local first responder and helping keep others safe, in the end I could not keep my own daughter safe. I am sure this is part of why my wife is so angry. Our house was always the safety net for the neighbor kids who where in some turmoil and offered our support and advice. We cleaned up the neighborhood by applying pressure on 2 homeowners who where supplying drugs and the neighbors thought the world of us and our kids. We live in suburbia and had the perfect family. If it can happen to me I truly believe we are all vulnerable. After talking to the detective it seems this is an option that kids today are using more than ever. Where are you in AZ? If you come to the meet and greet I posted in the HTF all your alcohol is on me. I'm sorry to hear. I can't imagine it being suicide... I've heard of those asphyxiation games teens play now... is it possible she was doing that to get a cheap "high?"
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AZ, USA
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Posted: 8/7/2011 12:35:18 PM EDT
[#47]
I live at Gilbert and Riggs Rd. I don't think it was the choking game. My daughter didn't drink or smoke. She started dropping her friends that did. She would get upset when I chewed.
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Posted: 8/7/2011 12:53:36 PM EDT
[#48]
great thread.
I am not saying I have ever been contemplating suicide, but I had my rough times. I'll remember here ! |
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Posted: 8/7/2011 12:56:32 PM EDT
[#49]
You have convinced me to buy a membership. Thank you.
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Posted: 8/7/2011 2:33:03 PM EDT
[#50]
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
My sweet daughter Taylor was 16. She took her own life 5 weeks ago today. I was at home when she did it and when I found her my 11 year old son was behind me so he saw her as well. It is devastating my family and my wife blames me for not knowing she was dying while I was home and has said she cannot stay married to me now. There were no signs, note or warnings. We did have an argument earlier due to me reminding her she was grounded that weekend because of how she had talked to her mom and myself earlier in the week and she was mad about that. She even texted her boyfriend that they would text later after his movie. She than made a big belt loop around her closet clothing rod and leaned into it, passed out and died from asphyxiation. She was a great girl. She was in the comedy club at school , went to bible study almost every week and as a family we where all so very close, she had great friends and was the most unselfish person I ever knew. I cannot help but think the outcome was not intentional but her actions did cause her death. Had I not been home I would have been sure it was a homicide. I have been blow away from this event especially from finding her body and the manner in which she chose and how she looked. Im not suicidal at all so no worries there. My wife on the other hand concerns me and we are all seeking counseling. As well all firearms have been removed from the home. If we can consider adding professional support contacts for the survivors of those who have been affected by suicide I would appreciate it. I am so sorry to hear of your great loss.
let me know if you want to talk about it with me and I will call you |
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