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Posted: 5/21/2002 10:16:18 AM EDT
[#1]
Ninjas are so cool
and by cool I mean their sweet I just crapped my pants |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 12:01:22 PM EDT
[#2]
Ninjas are mammals
But sometimes they just flip out And cut off your head [Edited to correct it 5-7-5] |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 1:39:47 PM EDT
[#3]
I love Mall Ninjas
yes with all of my body even my pee pee |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 1:45:17 PM EDT
[#4]
shoplifter identified
.50 caliber justice cleanup in front of Sears |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 1:45:52 PM EDT
[#5]
I will wait calmly
They pass me like a river Three Oh Eight ends crime |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 1:52:08 PM EDT
[#6]
ever vigilant
looking at the T and A time to act |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 1:55:59 PM EDT
[#7]
Duct Tape on my Skin
Very Bad Planning from Me Trauma Plate Works Well |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 2:04:18 PM EDT
[#8]
I confront the Crip
"Sir, turn around your ball cap" Come to in dumpster |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 2:11:35 PM EDT
[#9]
Strut Like a Big Man
Free Fries from the Chick-Fil-A Teenage Girls are Nice |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 2:37:24 PM EDT
[#10]
Campaign cover and starched shirt
I'm cool, dude See how fast I draw my mace |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 2:38:47 PM EDT
[#11]
Humvee in Monkey Wards
Dust settles Ready to Rock I move out |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 2:45:04 PM EDT
[#12]
Too tight in my blues
Mall walk, regulation shoes Flashlight bangs my thigh. |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 3:21:31 PM EDT
[#13]
The wind does not blow
Shoplifter is still and near Sight picture, slack, squeeze |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 3:29:07 PM EDT
[#14]
Did I leave the George Forman grill on?
O-crap! there goes another moble home[>(] |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 3:31:25 PM EDT
[#15]
No, Sharper Image
My nostril hairs are just fine Ahhh... Spencer Gifts. |
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Posted: 5/21/2002 3:36:51 PM EDT
[#16]
I curse the cheap claws
As I fall from the mall roof my chute deploys late My golf cart hums sweet Fifty cal mounted behind tires squeal on marble Trauma plates taped on I confront the heathen crowd and they know nothing |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 7:22:31 AM EDT
[#17]
Old ladies with blue hair
Walk so slow Young punks with silly clothes Rude and loud Please save me, Mall Ninja! |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 7:27:25 AM EDT
[#18]
Laser rangefinder
My prey at one fifty yards The Donut Hut babe |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 7:42:58 AM EDT
[#19]
3pm, my shift at last
The heat from the cafe court clouds my IR goggles. I as approach fast, The thermal image paints her hot snatch. My combat boots clack my step and persception fine I removed my goggles to eye a ruge bodacious rack and by bodacious, I mean boobylicious! I flank to the right to catch a new sight this baby's got back! She hooks me up with some fries. I knew I had the chance then she asked me to dance to late, I had crapped my pants. |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 7:47:40 AM EDT
[#20]
Polyester Pants
CB Flashlight Black Shoes Go! Shoplift at own risk. |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 7:51:04 AM EDT
[#21]
Gentlemen,
Although some of your submissions are certainly entertaining. Many do not fit the parameters of haiku. The pattern of syllables is 5,7,5. If you look at the first three haiku(s?), you will see they fit this convention. Police school dropout If only they saw me now Shogun of retail! (Edited. There's a big difference between syllables and consonants) |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 7:59:58 AM EDT
[#22]
Rapid deployment
MP5 sings its sweet song Fountain coins are safe |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 8:21:16 AM EDT
[#23]
I thought 5,7,5 was syllables, but mall haikus may be consonants.
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Posted: 5/22/2002 8:30:15 AM EDT
[#24]
Ohhhhhh!, I see.
5,7,5 Let me try again: Ninja on the prowl Eyes himself some fresh booty Craps his pants again |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 8:40:41 AM EDT
[#25]
My name is mall ninja Fife
My guns are all rusty, my knife is all dusty And I never made an arrest in my life |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 8:45:19 AM EDT
[#26]
Quoted: My name is mall ninja Fife My guns are all rusty, my knife is all dusty And I never made an arrest in my life That's a LIMERICK! |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 9:09:25 AM EDT
[#27]
hahaha.....
from limerick...... [b]there once was a ninja oh yeah! who thought he was badder than hell. he climbed up the wall at the top he said, " 'tis too tall!" and he lost his low wage job at the mall.[/b] to haiku...... [b]mall ninja climb wall his back feels intense pain... unemployment line.[/b] |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 9:36:49 AM EDT
[#28]
.300 whisper
Throw smoke grenades for cover food court sniper down trauma plate in front how to secure dorsal plate? GlockTalk has answers |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 4:08:42 PM EDT
[#29]
Gangsta wannabe
Trousers slung below his waist Death touch stops his heart |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 4:12:49 PM EDT
[#30]
Gap chick folding shirts
Closer in my reticle Finger strokes trigger |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 4:31:32 PM EDT
[#31]
Within the shadows
Hidden eyes scanning, scanning The Mall is now safe |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 4:49:32 PM EDT
[#32]
keen senses say strike
throwing stars cast in flurry now Orange Julius |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 7:26:27 PM EDT
[#33]
I applaud you all
your best efforts might be lame but it all rings true I can't write haiku certainly not about Gecko while you have done well Of course, these haiku will be archived at my site mall ninjas rejoice Verse, a true homage to the gaurdians of malls who can criticize? After all, you shoot- writing certainly not your strongest of subjects[;)] [url]Mallninja.com[/url] has new material will I now update? Juggernaut |
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Posted: 5/22/2002 8:15:16 PM EDT
[#34]
Clad in black, I strike!
In the video arcade Bloody quarters fly |
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Posted: 5/23/2002 11:53:10 AM EDT
[#35]
The armored car guys
Carry guns into my mall Why can't I have one? A shoplifter caught Police come and pick him up I NEED to be one. |
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Posted: 5/23/2002 12:10:56 PM EDT
[#36]
Adipose quivers,
Polyester uniform, Fired for sleeping Shoplifter stop now! I hurl my fierce shuriken, Too fat to run fast. Mexican, Chinese? The food court confuses me. Puff of smoke, I'm gone. I have no pistol. Black clad, I blend with mall map. Silent ,I thwart evil. Quickly to the arcade! Two malcontents battle there, Photos, then banished. |
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Posted: 5/23/2002 12:17:53 PM EDT
[#37]
Read SOF ad
Send check for ancient manual Training is complete |
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Posted: 5/23/2002 12:45:47 PM EDT
[#38]
Mall Ninja flips out
Cut off paying customer's head Cleans toilet for life. Board members love me All their body and peepee Mall Ninja not gay |
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Posted: 6/4/2002 4:42:19 PM EDT
[#39]
Jojo rappels down
Class IV plates tugging duct tape Waldenbooks is safe |
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Posted: 6/4/2002 5:40:06 PM EDT
[#40]
Mall Ninja?
Don't get this shit. High School dork on power trip? Dressed in black. Chick-Fil-A gives him gas? Mall Ninja let em rip. |
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Posted: 6/4/2002 6:09:48 PM EDT
[#41]
The Womenz walk by
Ninja low crawls through the mall Perv alert! eek! Eek! I am Mall Ninja School girls slap decal on me Hello Kitty sucks! Vigilent Ninja Sees the nastiest habits On booger patrol |
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Posted: 6/4/2002 6:34:31 PM EDT
[#42]
Totally sweet? Yes.
Totally tactical? Yes. The mall ninja rules! |
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Posted: 6/4/2002 6:45:40 PM EDT
[#43]
See the girl Ninja!
Mall Ninja peepee gets wood Maybe NOT confused |
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Posted: 6/4/2002 7:15:38 PM EDT
[#44]
McUzi is back
Mall Ninja, not a Big Mac GoatBoy cut some slack |
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Posted: 6/4/2002 7:38:59 PM EDT
[#45]
Mall Ninja sound like "RAP"?
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Posted: 6/5/2002 10:19:41 AM EDT
[#46]
Wall climbing shoes on
I love watching little girls Like a God I am Ballistic plates on Front and back they protect me Glock 9 at ready Golf cart turbocharged The litterbugs I hunt down Hollowpoint head shot Respect me you will For great wrath shall I call down On my megaphone Special Ops wannabes Hold no candle to my skills Mall Ninja am I |
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Posted: 6/5/2002 10:48:45 AM EDT
[#47]
night vision engaged
ruckus at sharper image silenced round makes peace enjoying slurpee peace disturbed by teen mallrats brass bounces off tile watching birds nest above hanging from skylight, see all lonely at the top taco bell for lunch loud bitch orders big mac, fry too stupid to read |
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Posted: 6/5/2002 11:40:06 AM EDT
[#48]
Fifty cal goes boom
Elevator needs cleaning Store gets back their goods All this cool hardware No need for any training I can walk on walls! |
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