[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How does your HD plan work? (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 1/25/2011 5:57:11 PM EDT
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We have our doors wired with an alarm, the kids sleep on the top floor, and I have a shotgun by the bed loaded with 00buck. Our windows are only on the second floor, with one exception, and we have 2 large dogs patrolling. |
After the BG comes crashing through the front window (pretty much the only way in) and trips over a bunch of junk, I'll wake up, grab the 12ga from under my bed, and wait for a minute. He comes in, he dies. Either way, the police are getting called ASAP. Response time should be good, considering I live less than 250 yards from my town's police station.  |
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My tactical poodle is a very alert guard dog and will bark loudly at anything out of the ordinary. My job is to verify the threat and terminate it "with extreme prejudice." I'll then call the cops, make a sandwich, give the dog a treat, and post pics and an AAR on ARFCOM. |
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Personally, I go to Home Depot and hide in an aisle while scoping out the cashier. I usually bring some lube, tissues, and orchid pollen on hand so when the urge hits I can rub one out before working up the courage to talk to the cashier. Then I usually facebook stalk said cashier until I found out she is not single. I somehow gain courage to make her go out with me, this liquid courage is bottled under the medical name of "chloroform." It comes in orchid scent too! After that I take her home to make love to while delicately cutting her up into pieces to feed to my orchids.
That's a successful day at Home Depot for me. |
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How does your HD plan work? First I drive to Home Depot. Then I park. Then I get a shopping cart. Then I buy stuff. Next I pay for it, load it in the car and next drive home. Thats my plan. Well, that's what I get for not refreshing my window to see 15 replies before mine.
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Alarm sensors on every window and door- with lights per zone so I know what's open and when it opens with chime alert is on. Then comes my pitbull that loves my family but gets a bit grumpy if someone tries to come in without an intro and ok from me. Then my son is armed ( in army) and I'm armed as well. So that should about do it.. 
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Fat, listless yellow lab gets chucked down the steps leading to the upstairs bedrooms. If they are already on the
steps coming up, they are fucked b/c it'll be an avalanche of fat and fur. If they are still downstairs, fat lab will force them to fill up her water bowl and give her some jerky treats. I figure I can put the sneak on them while fat lab has them distracted. That's our plan! -ZA |
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How does your HD plan work? First I drive to Home Depot. Then I park. Then I get a shopping cart. Then I buy stuff. Next I pay for it, load it in the car and next drive home. Thats my plan. Watch out for those chicks in the parking lot that steelz your walletz.
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Quoted: Fat, listless yellow lab gets chucked down the steps leading to the upstairs bedrooms. If they are already on the steps coming up, they are fucked b/c it'll be an avalanche of fat and fur. If they are still downstairs, fat lab will force them to fill up her water bowl and give her some jerky treats. I figure I can put the sneak on them while fat lab has them distracted. That's our plan! -ZA FUCKING WIN!!! /THREAD |
| My HD plan? Well I plug it into a battery tender and leave it for the time when I want to go for a ride. I then grab my helmet, throw on the some gloves, and jacket. Before doning my lid I walk around and do a quick pre-flilght. I then open the garage, click over the handle bar lock out, set the fuel pump on, and ignite. Then I'm off and rolling on my Electra Glide. Thanks for asking. |
| I keep a Palestinian locked in a closet with a string tied to the front door. When a burgular tries to enter my home,it frees Abdullah,he runs out and detonates. It's messy but effective. Unlike a guard dog who requires training and a special diet,I just slide some hummus and falafel under the door a couple times per week. |
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Our barking pack of chihuahuas alert me I roll out of bed, grab the streamlight and a hk Shoot chihuahuas Go back to sleep Don't mock attack chihuahuas. Mine can jump 3 feet and take a look at those chompers: 
NOTE TO POTENTIAL BURGULARS: PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO BRIBE THE GUARD DOG WITH CHEEZ-ITS |
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I love to collect guns and flashlights. I live on the second floor apartment. My door is locked and barred. I have an small alarm system hooked up. If someone breaks in the door I'm bound to hear it. If they continue to enter my dwelling, threatening my life, use your imagination what might happen. |
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I've got claymores deployed all daisy chained to a single clacker.
They are all overlapping killzones set at the points of entry and common hiding spots outside. My wife wakes me up saying she heard something, I just roll over, flip off the safety and squeeze the clacker and then roll over and go back to bed. ETA: I'm alergic to cats so no "watch cats" for me. |
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Quoted:
Fat, listless yellow lab gets chucked down the steps leading to the upstairs bedrooms. If they are already on the steps coming up, they are fucked b/c it'll be an avalanche of fat and fur. If they are still downstairs, fat lab will force them to fill up her water bowl and give her some jerky treats. I figure I can put the sneak on them while fat lab has them distracted. That's our plan! -ZA Similar plan here. But it's a 14yr old male lab, and he drops a slick poo. |
| One large inside/outside dog, four little yapping dogs (one in the bed), home security alarm, key locked bedroom door, walk-in closet with revolver and charged cell phone (as well as another revolver under the pillow) and a set of house keys hidden outside for the police to enter and clear the house. |
| I have chalk lines drawn on my walls, ceiling, and floor that represent the most likely place my neighbors might be in their apartments around me. Then when the bad guy kicks in my door I aim my shotgun at the one of those designated areas and fire some bird shot at it. Then I brag to the bad guy that I didn't kill my neighbor because I used bird shit shot. |