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Posted: 1/3/2011 5:53:37 AM EDT
[#1]
Two pages already?
BigDozer66 |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:13:05 AM EDT
[#2]
Quoted: I remember a guy here said that there was a thread started "back in the day" by someoneQuoted: POOP THREAD Yes.. Espeacilly after some fool eats the whole box by himself in one sit in.. When I use to work at a KIC back in the earky 90's, a health food nut Technician decided to eat a whole box of it by himself for breakfast. Needless to say it went from stomach irration, to cramps, sweatings, then none stop runs to the bathroom for the rest of the day.. The nurse laughed when she had to explain it to him, and advising him to next time "Read the box, and to follow its direction and warnings." here who did that. It seems that his postings were epic. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:17:10 AM EDT
[#3]
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:17:13 AM EDT
[#4]
I love Grape Nuts, but the love is unrequited. For me, Grape Nuts = Instant Heartburn.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:18:56 AM EDT
[#5]
Grape Nuts? I prefer keeping my teeth in my head.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:24:57 AM EDT
[#6]
I talked my mom into buying me a box of Grape Nuts when I was a little kid because the commercials on TV led me to believe it was delicious and possibly tasted of grapes and nuts.My mom said "WTF? OK..."
I still remember the disappoint of pouring that stuff in a bowl,dumping in the milk and immediately shattering 4 teeth on the suckiest suckfest of sucky cereal that has ever filled a bowl. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:25:11 AM EDT
[#7]
Grape Nuts mixed with Cap't Crunch for a bit more texture.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:27:30 AM EDT
[#8]
I L.O.V.E. Grape Nuts. I actually hate them when they get all swoll and mushy.
If it helps, the last box of LIFE cereal I opened also tore straight down a good 6 inches. Wonder if they have the same manufacturer. I'm too lazy to get up and check. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:29:19 AM EDT
[#9]
I eat the shit out of grape nuts cereal. It is a wholesome, healthy breakfast that gets my body off to a terrific start in the morning.
Of course, I add 4 cups of sugar to the bowl, which negates any of the aforementioned health benefits, and actually causes insta-diabeetus. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 6:39:10 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted: Grape Nuts mixed with Cap't Crunch for a bit more texture. No sir! The good captain is like taking a wire brush to the roof of your mouth.  |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:13:47 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
POOP THREAD I get the poops when consuming those expanding, swelling bad boys |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:18:09 AM EDT
[#12]
Have had the same issue with them, weekly, for years now.
And do they really need that much fucking glue to hold the top of the box flaps closed? |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:23:51 AM EDT
[#13]
Nice rant! Has good timing is well-executed. Perfect length too.
I'll give it a 9/10 which is incredibly high considering this is about nasty ass grapenuts. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:30:16 AM EDT
[#14]
Euell Gibbons is not amused (yes, I'm showing my age
 ) |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:38:18 AM EDT
[#15]
I love Grape Nuts. As a cereal, I prefer it before it has softened up. But once softened, it can be used in a number of ways, like Grape Nut Custard, and a few local Ice Cream stands make Grape Nut Ice Cream.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:42:41 AM EDT
[#16]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grape-Nuts
Grape-Nuts is a breakfast cereal developed by C. W. Post in 1897. Post was a patient and later competitor of the 19th-century breakfast food innovator, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg. Despite its name, the cereal contains neither grapes nor nuts. The cereal is actually made from wheat and barley, in later years, whole wheat so that the cereal could boast the nutritional value. Mr. Post believed that sucrose (which he called "grape sugar") formed during the baking process. This, combined with the nutty flavor of the cereal, is said to have inspired its name. Another explanation originates from employees at Post, who claim that the cereal got its name due to its resemblance to grape seeds, or grape "nuts." The cereal, as originally prepared by C. W. Post when he was developing the product, was a batter that came out of the oven as a rigid sheet. He then broke the sheet into pieces and ran them through a coffee grinder to produce the "nut" sized kernels.  Grape-Nut ice cream Grape-Nut ice cream is a popular regional dish in the Canadian Maritimes and New England. One origin story is that it was created by chef Hannah Young at the The Palms restaurant in Wolfville, Nova Scotia in 1919. She created it when she had run out of fresh fruit to add into the ice cream, and instead decided to throw in some of the cereal. It proved popular at the restaurant and the Farmers Dairy company began mass producing the ice cream variety, and it spread across the region. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:44:10 AM EDT
[#17]
Eat two big bowls of it and then go out and eat some Taco Bell.
Tell me how that works out for you. 
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:44:11 AM EDT
[#18]
Quoted: Quoted: I remember a guy here said that there was a thread started "back in the day" by someoneQuoted: POOP THREAD Yes.. Espeacilly after some fool eats the whole box by himself in one sit in.. When I use to work at a KIC back in the earky 90's, a health food nut Technician decided to eat a whole box of it by himself for breakfast. Needless to say it went from stomach irration, to cramps, sweatings, then none stop runs to the bathroom for the rest of the day.. The nurse laughed when she had to explain it to him, and advising him to next time "Read the box, and to follow its direction and warnings." here who did that. It seems that his postings were epic. That poster tried to live off of Grape Nuts every day for a week. He ended up being one of the reasons we're not allowed to have poop threads. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:45:22 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: Eat two big bowls of it and then go out and eat some Taco Bell. Tell me how that works out for you. That combination will result in a fecal impaction. Nothing will come out. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:45:54 AM EDT
[#20]
I don't know if it really was funny, but it made me laugh. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:45:56 AM EDT
[#21]
Thats what you get for eating crappy cereal.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:47:09 AM EDT
[#22]
I was always confused by the Grape Nuts.
I never knew that grapes had nuts and how you could tell the female vs male grapes anyway. I think PETA should have been all over this grape castration issue years ago! |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:47:14 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I remember a guy here said that there was a thread started "back in the day" by someoneQuoted: POOP THREAD Yes.. Espeacilly after some fool eats the whole box by himself in one sit in.. When I use to work at a KIC back in the earky 90's, a health food nut Technician decided to eat a whole box of it by himself for breakfast. Needless to say it went from stomach irration, to cramps, sweatings, then none stop runs to the bathroom for the rest of the day.. The nurse laughed when she had to explain it to him, and advising him to next time "Read the box, and to follow its direction and warnings." here who did that. It seems that his postings were epic. That poster tried to live off of Grape Nuts every day for a week. He ended up being one of the reasons we're not allowed to have poop threads. I missed that one. I can't believe anyone would be ignorant/stupid/insane enough to try that.  |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:50:23 AM EDT
[#24]
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I remember a guy here said that there was a thread started "back in the day" by someoneQuoted: POOP THREAD Yes.. Espeacilly after some fool eats the whole box by himself in one sit in.. When I use to work at a KIC back in the earky 90's, a health food nut Technician decided to eat a whole box of it by himself for breakfast. Needless to say it went from stomach irration, to cramps, sweatings, then none stop runs to the bathroom for the rest of the day.. The nurse laughed when she had to explain it to him, and advising him to next time "Read the box, and to follow its direction and warnings." here who did that. It seems that his postings were epic. That poster tried to live off of Grape Nuts every day for a week. He ended up being one of the reasons we're not allowed to have poop threads. I missed that one. I can't believe anyone would be ignorant/stupid/insane enough to try that. It was so bad he couldn't last the whole week. Had to stop at like day 4 or 5 or something. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:53:26 AM EDT
[#25]
I'll give it an 8/10 for the aquarium gravel..
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Posted: 1/3/2011 7:55:50 AM EDT
[#26]
The new bags really do suck, use scissors. Wonder why they changed, probably some environmental friendly bag.
Thought I was the only one! Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 8:17:26 AM EDT
[#27]
I seem to remember they went to the bags years ago. I always wondered how they got away with being the only cereal in an unlined box before that.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 9:00:50 AM EDT
[#28]
Quoted: I seem to remember they went to the bags years ago. I always wondered how they got away with being the only cereal in an unlined box before that. It has been a few years and this is not the first time this has happened. There are other cereals like oatmeal and malt-o-meal that don't have a bag. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 9:22:18 AM EDT
[#29]
Dear Grape-Nuts:
Why did you kill Euell Gibbons? Why? |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 9:25:44 AM EDT
[#30]
Nice, I like this thread.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 9:26:33 AM EDT
[#31]
Awesome post OP.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 9:32:22 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I seem to remember they went to the bags years ago. I always wondered how they got away with being the only cereal in an unlined box before that. It has been a few years and this is not the first time this has happened. There are other cereals like oatmeal and malt-o-meal that don't have a bag. Yes, Cream of Wheat as well. I was thinking more along the lines of the highly processed cereals of which Grape Nuts might barley qualify. I acutally welcome the bags for all cereals. I cooked up a bunch of oatmeal with tiny dried up rolly pollies in it that turned me off of oatmeal for a while. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 9:36:25 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted: grapenut pun?Quoted: Quoted: I seem to remember they went to the bags years ago. I always wondered how they got away with being the only cereal in an unlined box before that. It has been a few years and this is not the first time this has happened. There are other cereals like oatmeal and malt-o-meal that don't have a bag. Yes, Cream of Wheat as well. I was thinking more along the lines of the highly processed cereals of which Grape Nuts might barley qualify. I acutally welcome the bags for all cereals. I cooked up a bunch of oatmeal with tiny dried up rolly pollies in it that turned me off of oatmeal for a while. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 9:37:33 AM EDT
[#34]
Quoted: Quoted: grapenut pun?Quoted: Quoted: I seem to remember they went to the bags years ago. I always wondered how they got away with being the only cereal in an unlined box before that. It has been a few years and this is not the first time this has happened. There are other cereals like oatmeal and malt-o-meal that don't have a bag. Yes, Cream of Wheat as well. I was thinking more along the lines of the highly processed cereals of which Grape Nuts might barley qualify. I acutally welcome the bags for all cereals. I cooked up a bunch of oatmeal with tiny dried up rolly pollies in it that turned me off of oatmeal for a while. That is the worst pun I've seen all day. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 10:04:28 AM EDT
[#35]
My fuckin ass they are. Bought my first and last box last Saturday. BLAND and MEH when milk hits 'em. At least original nuts of grape were tasty, if not lockjaw inducing. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 10:24:40 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted: Grape Nuts Neither a grape nor a nut...Discuss! http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ML9LcCTuekQ/S_vwrDWpSvI/AAAAAAAAAKI/V8kHWW1O6Bw/s1600/SNL6.jpg Pure. Fuckin' Win! |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 10:48:41 AM EDT
[#37]
I've been sick for days. This is the first time I've laughed since Thursday. 10/10 you win!
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Posted: 1/3/2011 10:53:50 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted:
I'm just a simple cavemen. Some of your scientists found me and thawed me out. But your world, and your fancy modern machines, frighten and confuse me.
ROTFLMAO!!!! 
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Posted: 1/3/2011 10:57:09 AM EDT
[#39]
If you want huge farts and a bowel movement that resembles Mike Tyson's arm in size then eat Grape Nuts
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:06:39 AM EDT
[#40]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Somebody needs there fiber! Where fiber? http://i.ytimg.com/vi/gQQtgx4iG8E/0.jpg There. There fiber. There castle. Why are you talking like that? |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:18:31 AM EDT
[#41]
Seriously? After applying X force to a bag and it still has not opened. Do not increase to X+A force. The end result I have discovered is that A is directly related to bag explosion. Grab scissors next time. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:29:39 AM EDT
[#42]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Was the cereal Grape Nuts supposed to mean something, perhaps alluding to the fact that they are as tough to eat as the seed in a grape? I think its a good fit. It actually comes from the sugar originally used in the cereal that was derived from grapes and the creator's impression that it had a nutty taste. It's a more appetizing name than Bran Gravel |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:33:40 AM EDT
[#43]
Grape nuts is fucking awesome. I will have to go buy a box and see if I can spill it all over as well now. Thanks OP for the idea!
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:39:40 AM EDT
[#44]
I love Grape-Nuts.
I eat them every day for breakfast. You guys suck at opening bags.
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:41:18 AM EDT
[#45]
FYI, I just opened a bag without incident.
The trick to Grape Nuts is to throw in a pack of rasins and some cinnamonm, then nuke it for one minute. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:44:34 AM EDT
[#46]
once worked with a guy named Bill Meyer back in the early 80's, he was the arm wrestler champion in the USA at his weight class, think he weighed around 190lbs.
Grape Nuts for breakfast and lunch in water everyday, guy did not have a ounce of fat on him. I cannot drink cow milk so I started to eat it like that, now I have dairy goats so I use that now. |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:46:13 AM EDT
[#47]
Why do you put it in a jar? It comes with it's own container. Do you put the milk in a jug so it looks like the commercial?
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Posted: 1/3/2011 11:50:24 AM EDT
[#48]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Somebody needs there fiber! Where fiber? I see what you did "their" ...
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Posted: 1/3/2011 12:02:42 PM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Somebody needs there fiber! Where fiber? http://i.ytimg.com/vi/gQQtgx4iG8E/0.jpg There. There fiber. There castle. Why are you talking like that? [Marty Feldman] I thought you wanted to. [/Marty Feldman] |
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Posted: 1/3/2011 12:05:01 PM EDT
[#50]
Quoted:
Quoted:
POOP THREAD Yes.. Espeacilly after some fool eats the whole box by himself in one sit in.. When I use to work at a KIC back in the earky 90's, a health food nut Technician decided to eat a whole box of it by himself for breakfast. Needless to say it went from stomach irration, to cramps, sweatings, then none stop runs to the bathroom for the rest of the day.. The nurse laughed when she had to explain it to him, and advising him to next time "Read the box, and to follow its direction and warnings." Wait... Grape Nuts boxes have "direction and warnings" on them? |
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