Posted: 11/4/2010 6:34:52 PM EDT
| I went out on a date with a woman and she said she had Multiple Sclerosis, but it the "relapsing-remitting" type and she is in good health. Should I be worried if I wanted this to turn into a long-lasting relationship? |
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I went out on a date with a woman and she said she had Multiple Sclerosis, but it the "relapsing-remitting" type and she is in good health. Should I be worried if I wanted this to turn into a long-lasting relationship? Do some research. It is a horrible condition, but there is treatments for it. It is not curable but it is still treatable. Edit to add: They are doing interesting things with deep brain stimulation and MS. Again not a cure, but it helps many people. |
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My wife has it, she's had it for 3 years. Being with someone that has MS can be a lot of work. If your lady friend has had it for a long time she may have it under control with meds and stuff... I think what you need to do is do some research about the disease and learn all you can. Then address your concerns about the disease with her. She might be able to help you understand how it affects her. But I wouldn't let MS be a deal breaker especially if she's a cool chick. They are on the verge of finding a cure for the disease, and there is a stint surgery in Italy that seems to cure the disease, so it may not be an issue in a few years... ya never know!
- Clint |
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Quoted: Well, she is 44 years old but in super-good physical condition- she is a fitness coach and personal trainer. Doesn't matter. She will be bouncing off the walls some days. Literally. My friend has MS and, quite frankly... it's all good for about 27 days of the month... but the other 4? You will roll with punches. Much like they do, in coping with this disease. |
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My sister has it. I dont know alot about the medical condition but I damned sure know she smokes way too much medical marijuana from it.  I'm not seeing the problem here. I don't blame people with debilitating conditions from seeking escape. Would you rather she be on Dilaudid? |
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My sister has it. I dont know alot about the medical condition but I damned sure know she smokes way too much medical marijuana from it. I'm not seeing the problem here. I don't blame people with debilitating conditions from seeking escape. Would you rather she be on Dilaudid? I'd rather not see marijuana pictures all over her house, smell the overwhelming odor of the plant and have her take multiple breaks to take her "medicine". I choose not to go to her house just for those reasons. She has become obsessed with the stuff. I've never smoked pot and dont want to. MS is a bitch of a condition but I have to wonder if some folks use it as an excuse and shun other treatments so they can light up.
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My sister has it. I dont know alot about the medical condition but I damned sure know she smokes way too much medical marijuana from it. I'm not seeing the problem here. I don't blame people with debilitating conditions from seeking escape. Would you rather she be on Dilaudid? I'd rather not see marijuana pictures all over her house, smell the overwhelming odor of the plant and have her take multiple breaks to take her "medicine". I choose not to go to her house just for those reasons. She has become obsessed with the stuff. I've never smoked pot and dont want to. MS is a bitch of a condition but I have to wonder if some folks use it as an excuse and shun other treatments so they can light up.
Fair enough, just bringing up the point that hard perscription drug abuse is likely much more harmful. |
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Serious question that sounds condesending. But is there such thing as just Sclerosis? It is always "multiple" and I never understood that. No. Sclerosis is a general medical term that can refer to hardening, scarring or degradation of different tissues. "Multiple Sclerosis" is a proper noun, termed for the scarring of the myelin sheath that surrounds certain nervous tissue. |
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My mother was diagnosised with MS in 1956, and given one year to live. We buried her in 2005 at age 90. Yes it handicapped her in some ways, but a long full life was hers to enjoy. MS isn't understood very well now, much less 50 years ago. My father lived a similar story, diagnosed in the early 80's with poor prognosis. He passed in 2008. |
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OP, I'm a fellow cal-gunner.
My wife, Joanna has it. It is a odd thing. some people live with out issue till their 90. some don't last two years. I wish that I could blow smoke up your ass and tell you good things. I think that the lady that you're seeing is doing ok and will do well with M.S. |
| From what I know women get it more frequently but it is less harsh. I worked as a home health aid for the past 6yrs for a guy who had it. I've been life long friends with his nephew and am like family with his kin now. He died last March, he was 42. He had been in a bed for 20yrs and spent the last 7-8 with a feeding tube, tracheotomy, and catheter. He was on a ventilator the last couple. Horrible, horrible disease. Don't underestimate it. |
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There are 2 types of MS - "relapsing/remitting" and "fast progressive". Fast progressive is the type you don't want, if you have MS. It gets worse and worse and there's no treatment. My dad was diagnosed with MS at 44, and died from it at 50. He had the fast progressive type.
On the other hand, I know quite a few people with the relapsing remitting type of MS, who have had little or no problems with it for decades. The severity of a person's symptoms depend on a) the type of MS, and b) the area(s) of the spinal cord affected. My dad went from walking with a cane to being in a wheelchair within a year, because his affected his legs, arms, and heart. |
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My wife has the remitting-relapsing kind. Diagnosed about 10 years ago. Everyone MS hits differently. since she is in good shape, sounds like your person is good to go.
My wife is still functional, works a 40+ week but has weekly bad nights after her interferon shot and she has to get a full nights sleep. She also is weaker than she used to be. The remitting-relapsing thing? My wife usually gets her episodes in spring, they have included super bad double vision where she couldn't drive and leg issues. |
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As others have said, there's a LOT of variation among people that have MS. Some get very serious symptoms and it can ber very debilitating, whereas others get only occasional and relatively mild symptoms.
For example, among my neighbors in St. Louis, one of the wives had MS, and they had specifically purchased a ranch-style house because she could no longer walk up and down stairs. On the other hand, the wife of one of my current colleagues has MS, and I have never noticed anything about her behavior that suggests anything is wrong with her. She seems and acts like a normal, perfectly healthy person. So the variation can be enormous. |
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I dated a woman with MS for a while, and one of my high school classmates with whom I stay in touch has it. How it affects a person's life and in turn relationships depends both on how the disease affects the victim, and how she deals with it. The woman I dated was a very "difficult" person. She complained about everything, all the time, and had a hair-trigger temper. My classmate is far easier to get along with, but our relationship has stayed on a "strictly friends" level because of religious differences and the fact that we've known each other since we were 10. Every person is different. I wouldn't let a diagnosis of MS alone scare me off, but bear in mind that it will never go away and will probably get worse over time. Victims gradually lose functions. Some become bedridden, but not all ever get that bad. It's not possible to predict how an individual case will progress. If she's taking steps to control it, e.g. taking copaxone or whatever else her neurologist recommends, and actively tries to stay healthy, those are positive signs. I would avoid an MS person who shuns all treatment and sits around in denial. |
| No, she has a very positive outlook on life....or I would not want to go out with her again, MS or not. Eats healthy, exercises regularly, and shuns negativity. She definitely has her shit together; owns more than one business of her own. She's the best I've gone out with since I've started dating again (I'm 45 years old). |
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Okay, I'd like to chime in. I have MS and I'm female, 40 years old.
1. There are more than two types of MS. Mayo clinic, National MS society, and the majority of medical professionals acknowledge four types, as follows: •Relapsing-remitting MS (RRMS). RRMS is characterized by relapse (attacks of symptom flare-ups) followed by remission (periods of recovery). Symptoms may vary from mild to severe, and relapses and remissions may last for days or months. More than 80 percent of people who have MS begin with relapsing-remitting cycles. •Secondary-progressive MS (SPMS). SPMS often develops in people who have relapsing-remitting MS. In SPMS, relapses and partial recoveries occur, but the disability doesn't fade away between cycles. Instead, it progressively worsens until a steady progression of disability replaces the cycles of attacks. •Primary-progressive MS (PPMS). PPMS progresses slowly and steadily from its onset. There are no periods of remission and symptoms generally do not decrease in intensity. About 15 percent of people who have MS have PPMS. •Progressive-relapsing MS (PRMS). In this relatively rare type of MS, people experience both steadily worsening symptoms and attacks during periods of remission. 2. In the past ten years, several treatment options have become available for people with MS. The sooner the treatment, the better the outlook. Personally, I have relapsing-remitting and have stayed in that category, with treatment, for ten years. I am minimally affected and work out regularly. I imagine that working out regularly puts me ahead of people without MS who don't work out at all. It's all in how you look at it, I guess. I think it's awesome that your friend is a fitness trainer. Clearly her philosphy is working for her and she has a healthy attitude. I am glad for her that the disease is being held at bay. And I think it would be a damn shame that being up front with you about her health status should cause you concern. I'm not judging you, but from the perspective of most anyone who wants to meet Mr./Ms. Right, it's gotta suck to have that going against you. Thank God I'm happily married. 3. Sclerosis is Latin and means scars. Therefore, multiple sclerosis means "many scars." The term was coined to describe the many lesions caused when a patient's immune system chews up the myelin that surrounds the nerves and tissues in the brain and nervous system during a relapse. These are the lesions seen on MRIs that are now used to aid in diagnosis. No one knows what causes the disease, although there is a slight possibility that it has some genetic factors. No smoking gun has been found yet. 4. Support medical research, even if it's not for MS! All info researchers gain adds to the bank of knowledge used to treat all patients. The MS drug I am on was originally developed for Crohn's disease. It has made life normal for me and allowed me to stay active for my two young kids. I thank God every day for the people who do this kind of work. My relapses prior to treatment were not fun, but I enjoy a good quality of life thanks to research. |
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Thanks for your insight, Db8sGr8. Couple of questions: what actually happens during a relapse? And, do you have children; if not, would you? You're welcome.  Please understand I can only speak to my experiences. Your friend's relapses, if she has them, are likely to be completely different and severity may vary. Relapses themselves can vary, but mine typically followed the same pattern of development. We had our two kids before I had a diagnosis, and in fact before I even was willing to acknowledge something was wrong. My initial symptoms were sensory only. My feet went numb, then my legs, then all the way up to my waist. The numbness was skin deep. It didn't hurt but I felt like I was walking around with wooden legs like a pirate (arrrrr). I thought it must be a pinched nerve. I was driving a new car and wondered if the ergonomics were different? The numbness went away. I forgot about it.
A couple years later I got pregnant. The numbness came back, and I attributed it to the pregnancy messing with my body's mechanics. I had the baby. The numbness went away again. Life went back to normal. Three years later I got pregnant again. All hell broke lose. I started having optic migraines, losing my vision in a matter of minutes, watching it fade out like a television set turning off. The it came back just as soon. (This only happened once.)My tongue and left pinky went numb and cold just as fast, then resumed normalcy just as quickly (this while I was driving! Ugh! I had to pull off the road and calm down before I could get home.) Numb from toes to waist. Numbness in hands and slight loss of manual dexterity during relapse. Then Diagnosed two months after the birth of our son. That relapse did not go away until eight months after our son was born. I began treatment after completing breast feeding our son to avoid passing on the meds to him. Subsequent relapses after the births of our children: Numbness, as usual. Sharp stabby ice-pick flashes of pain in my left shoulder blade area. Itches of neurological origin that I was unable to physically scratch. Left side weakness of my arm. (I noticed this one while swimming and mentioned it to my neurologist. He asked me if I discovered myself swimming in circles at that point. I loved that guy- great sense of humor.  ) Short temperedness and anxiety from dealing with symptoms. Inability to multitask and/or concentrate on tasks if outside distraction such as loud noises, people talking to me at the same time, etc. DEPRESSION possibly caused by first MS drug i was on (Interferon called Avonex) Went off Interferon, went on Tysabri. No relapses since beginning Tysabri in 2006.
Would I have had kids if I knew I had MS? I really can't say. I believe my kids give me a reason to take the best care of myself that I can, and their presence has been a blessing to my life. On the other hand, I was very apprehensive about life with kids when I found out about my MS, because MS can be unpredictable. The best gauge of how your MS will treat you is how it treats you the first couple years you have it, and how well you respond to treatment. It is not a death sentence by any means, but one must exercise good judgment with financial planning. The first thing I did when I started seeking a diagnosis was to obtain a life insurance policy before it could be denied for existing conditions. |
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1. My cousin's sister-in-law had it & frequently went into remission/relapse. She tried some kind of new, relatively "safe" type of treatment (not sure what it's called). A virus breached the blood-brain barrier & she went into a coma - dead a couple of months later at the ripe old age of 35. Turns out that it is not nearly as "safe" as the pharmaceutical companies claimed, but they make you sign a waiver before they give you the treatment so the next of kin (her teenage daughter) is SOL.
2. I have a family member that has it and he is getting progressively worse. He can barely walk now & he falls down a lot. He does not go into remission. Pretty much out of commission the day before his weekly injection, the day of the weekly injection, & the day after the weekly injection. 3. My friends mom has it - she has been confined to a wheelchair for years & she also goes in & out of remission. |
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1. My cousin's sister-in-law had it & frequently went into remission/relapse. She tried some kind of new, relatively "safe" type of treatment (not sure what it's called). A virus breached the blood-brain barrier & she went into a coma - dead a couple of months later at the ripe old age of 35. Turns out that it is not nearly as "safe" as the pharmaceutical companies claimed, but they make you sign a waiver before they give you the treatment so the next of kin (her teenage daughter) is SOL. 2. I have a family member that has it and he is getting progressively worse. He can barely walk now & he falls down a lot. He does not go into remission. Pretty much out of commission the day before his weekly injection, the day of the weekly injection, & the day after the weekly injection. 3. My friends mom has it - she has been confined to a wheelchair for years & she also goes in & out of remission. It sounds like your cousin's sister-in-law chose to use Tysabri, the same drug I am on. I was not told it was safe. I was given information verbally and in writing (as are all patients offered this therapy) that there is a small risk of fatal complications from a virus called the JC virus reactivating. The virus does not cross the blood-brain barrier; It is already present but inactive in a large percentage of the general population. Tysabri works by closing off gaps in the blood-brain barrier to prevent T-cells that attack myelin from entering the brain. I was given specific percentages of the risk involved. It was the best known information at the time because the therapy is new. It is called informed consent, and without the pharmaceutical companies, there wouldn't be any treatment available. I was made aware of the risk and I chose to sign the waiver regardless, because it offered me a quality of life that I could not have with my therapy at the time. Nobody offered me any guarantees when I was born. Life is full of risks and I am grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to choose for myself. I am sorry your cousin's sister in law contracted PML. That is a shame. If your family member does not go into remission, and he does not feel the shots are helping him (Avonex, perchance?), he should look into other therapies (Mitoxatrone, IVIG, Novantrone, Solumedrol, etc.) There ARE some for progressive ms and it sounds as if a new evaluation couldn't hurt. It sucks that there aren't more therapies available for the progressive types of MS. That is why early treatment is so important to stave off disability as long as possible. |