[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Engineer Goes To Hell (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 9/3/2010 4:30:03 AM EDT
 Have a Good Friday !!!!
An engineer dies and goes to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake –– he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?" |
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Have a Good Friday !!!!
An engineer dies and goes to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake –– he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?" This is the hard part to believe. |
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Have a Good Friday !!!!
An engineer dies and goes to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake –– he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?" This is the hard part to believe. they are in hell |
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Have a Good Friday !!!!
An engineer dies and goes to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake –– he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?" This is the hard part to believe. HEY! I'm an engineer 
oh wait....  ...nevermind
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Have a Good Friday !!!!
An engineer dies and goes to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake –– he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?" This is the hard part to believe. HEY! I'm an engineer
oh wait.... ...nevermind
I'm an engineer, and I'm popular
...in my own mind.
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A lawyer dies and goes to heaven where he finds out that it is actually set up like a hotel.
He passes by a Pope's room and finds it to be decent but sparse. He's led by a saint's room and he finds that it isn't very comfortable at all, nor does it have many amenities that he would expect. The lawyer gets to his assigned room and discovers to his delight that it's an incredibly palatial suite so he asks his guide "why are the rooms of the saints and Popes so sparse whereas mine is so incredibly luxurious"? To which his guide replies; "we have hundreds of Popes and saints up here but you are our first and only lawyer". |
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and engineer, an doctor, and a priest are golfing. They get behind these three guys who are playing very slowly, but not let anyone play ahead.
Irritated, the engineer, doctor and the priest call a caddy over and ask him, "what's the deal with these three guys?" The caddy says, "they are firefighters and saved our clubhouse when it caught fire. They were injured and went blind in the process, so we let them play for free whenever they want." The priest says, "Wow, I'll make sure to say a prayer for them." The doctor says, "I have an opthamologist friend, I'll have to see if there's anything he can do." The engineer says, "why can't they play at night?" |
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a 747 takes off from Warsaw Poland carrying a tour group to New York City.
after the long flight they end up in a holding pattern, awaiting ATC clearance into JFK. during one of the turns the pilot activates the intercom and announces, "folks, if you look out the right side of the aircraft, you'll see the Statue of Liberty –– an enduring symbol of the freedom of this great country..." many of the Polish passengers get up and strain to get a view of Lady Liberty out the right side of the aircraft. the 747 banks sharply, loses altitude rapidly, and crashes into the Hudson River. there are no survivors. lesson learned: too many poles on the right hand side of the plane causes instability. |
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Quoted: I rost!!and engineer, an doctor, and a priest are golfing. They get behind these three guys who are playing very slowly, but not let anyone play ahead. Irritated, the engineer, doctor and the priest call a caddy over and ask him, "what's the deal with these three guys?" The caddy says, "they are firefighters and saved our clubhouse when it caught fire. They were injured and went blind in the process, so we let them play for free whenever they want." The priest says, "Wow, I'll make sure to say a prayer for them." The doctor says, "I have an opthamologist friend, I'll have to see if there's anything he can do." The engineer says, "why can't they play at night?"  |
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Quoted: and engineer, an doctor, and a priest are golfing. They get behind these three guys who are playing very slowly, but not let anyone play ahead. Irritated, the engineer, doctor and the priest call a caddy over and ask him, "what's the deal with these three guys?" The caddy says, "they are firefighters and saved our clubhouse when it caught fire. They were injured and went blind in the process, so we let them play for free whenever they want." The priest says, "Wow, I'll make sure to say a prayer for them." The doctor says, "I have an opthamologist friend, I'll have to see if there's anything he can do." The engineer says, "why can't they play at night?"  |
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Have a Good Friday !!!!
An engineer dies and goes to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake –– he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?" This is the hard part to believe. HEY! I'm an engineer
oh wait.... ...nevermind
I.. oh crap, I can't argue that point either. /We're people, people dammit! |
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a 747 takes off from Warsaw Poland carrying a tour group to New York City. after the long flight they end up in a holding pattern, awaiting ATC clearance into JFK. during one of the turns the pilot activates the intercom and announces, "folks, if you look out the right side of the aircraft, you'll see the Statue of Liberty –– an enduring symbol of the freedom of this great country..." many of the passengers get up and strain to get a view of Lady Liberty out the right side of the aircraft. the 747 banks sharply, loses altitude rapidly, and crashes into the Hudson River. there are no survivors. lesson learned: too many poles on the right hand side of the plane causes instability. Oh, no. I don't even know who I can tell that joke to. |
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Yeah but who built all the stuff that was designed. We know for sure that the engineer didn't do anything physical!!!  I'm sure there are plenty of technicians in hell. Which would be why they had to let an engineer in - to make their afterlives miserable too. |
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The teamsters have a significance presence there.
Yeah but who built all the stuff that was designed. We know for sure that the engineer didn't do anything physical!!! How does having more guys sitting around doing nothing solve the problem?
every organization needs a cost center. ar-jedi |
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too many poles on the right hand side of the plane causes instability. Oh, no. I don't even know who I can tell that joke to. it's specifically designed to weed out the "i once fixed a manual transmission, wired up the lights in a 8x10 shed, plus built a 3' high stone wall –– and therefore i know as much as any engineer" types here in GD... 
ar-jedi 
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