Posted: 4/4/2002 8:55:52 AM EDT
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In case some of yall were wondering what was up with my marital problems here is the latest scoop Been separated since November and in VA if you have a legal separation agreement then you are divorced in 6 months...this means that I could be free as soon as May....however my ex says that she won't sign anything until she sees a sign from god. However I can file for divorce in a year without an agreement. Right now I get harassing phone calls from her saying that I am stalking her and breaking into her house etc.. but I am trying to play it cool and hope she signs the papers soon. My lawyer has been a big help but says that there are no cost effective solutions. Last night on E! I saw a biography on Phil Hartman and his situation was eerily similar to mine. Glad I got out. I have also started a new relationship with my neighbor. My view on this is the hell if I am going to wait a year before I can get to know someone that I mike like. Anyone have opinions on dating while separated like legal ramifications? (I have no kids BTW) |
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Quoted: Last night on E! I saw a biography on Phil Hartman and his situation was eerily similar to mine. Glad I got out. Wow, really? I had a friend at school that used to be a nanny for his children. This was a few years before he was killed, but she said that they always acted like newlyweds, and genuinely loved each other. In any case, good luck with your marital problems. |
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Quoted: Right now I get harassing phone calls from her saying that I am stalking her and breaking into her house etc.. Get a restraining order against her before she gets one against you. I have also started a new relationship with my neighbor. My view on this is the hell if I am going to wait a year before I can get to know someone that I mike like. Congrats on that. It will help keep you sane. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Right now I get harassing phone calls from her saying that I am stalking her and breaking into her house etc.. Get a restraining order against her before she gets one against you. I have also started a new relationship with my neighbor. My view on this is the hell if I am going to wait a year before I can get to know someone that I mike like. Congrats on that. It will help keep you sane. I have tried, the magistrate says that there are two sides to every story and we both need to grow up. |
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Quoted: [blue]I have also started a new relationship with my neighbor.[/blue] My view on this is the hell if I am going to wait a year before I can get to know someone that I [blue]mike[/blue] like. Anyone have opinions on dating while separated like legal ramifications? (I have no kids BTW) Geeez, women aren't really that bad once you get to know them! [:D] Seriously: Be very careful not be accused of committing adultry... This is a classic move by attorneys that find out the other spouse nis involved in a new relationship while [u]still[/u] married. |
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Quoted: Quoted: [blue]I have also started a new relationship with my neighbor.[/blue] My view on this is the hell if I am going to wait a year before I can get to know someone that I [blue]mike[/blue] like. Anyone have opinions on dating while separated like legal ramifications? (I have no kids BTW) Geeez, women aren't really that bad once you get to know them! [:D] Seriously: Be very careful not be accused of committing adultry... This is a classic move by attorneys that find out the other spouse nis involved in a new relationship while [u]still[/u] married. exactly what i was going to say. as unpleasant as it may be, don't even think of sex (in any form) with this woman. if it gets out, your ex can use it against you and all your hard work will be for naught. companionship is fine. kissing and petting too. but the minute the clothes come off the guantlet is thrown and you're risking way more than ever before. no amount of horizontal mambo is worth that. not to mention you'd still technically be cheating and that can't do much for your credibility in front of the judge. |
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Quoted: I believe that if it a legal separation, that you are safe from charges of adultery. Does it really matter? There are no kids, and it won't have any bearing on splitting up property. FWIW, I was in a relationship while my 2 year divorce was going on. If anything, it helped my position in getting custody of my daughter, sowing that there would be a stable family environment. |
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Quoted: I am not a lawyer, but I do play one on tv now and then.... [whacko] I believe that if it a legal separation, that you are safe from charges of adultery. ETH? anyone else? BTW keep it all legal.... Legal or not, it's not worth the possible grief. Keep your short arm in your pants for another few months. If you have an attraction for another woman, tell her outright that you appreciate her company, but nothing is going to happen until the divorce is final. You must keep the moral and ethical high ground at all times. |
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Quoted: Quoted: I believe that if it a legal separation, that you are safe from charges of adultery. Does it really matter? There are no kids, and it won't have any bearing on splitting up property. FWIW, I was in a relationship while my 2 year divorce was going on. If anything, it helped my position in getting custody of my daughter, sowing that there would be a stable family environment. That is my feeling but the ex won't sign anything but I don't have anything for her to take except for 1 truck with 3k worth of negative equity and a dog plus I am paying her $250 a month until the lease expires in our old apartment. The way I look at it is, it is over time to move and, hey I have needs. |
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Quoted: however my ex says that she won't sign anything until she sees a sign from god. Put a speaker in the bathroom fan in her apartment, and have God talk to her about getting a divorce and having his baby. My lawyer has been a big help but says that there are no cost effective solutions. What about a quick trip to Las Vegas? I don't think you need the other party's consent to file for a divorce there. Call it $1K between the airfare, filing fees, and craps table losses -- probably cheaper than your lawyer! Last night on E! I saw a biography on Phil Hartman and his situation was eerily similar to mine. Your wife is a psycho cocaine addict??? |
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Originally Posted By: VTHOKIESHOOTER I have also started a new relationship with my neighbor As the others have said, it could be used against you. The law in VA is pretty clear on this issue. If you are still legally married you can commit adultery. It is also a criminial offense in this state, it isn't enforced much but it is still a crime. I wish you the best of luck with all this. I am going through one of these kinds of divorces myself. I have to wait the year due to having minor children involved, and now she says she won't give me a divorce even though she is the one that left. |
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You need to discuss your situation with a divorce attorney. I"m going thru a divorce currently in Va. I am getting a separation / property settlement signed first. This document lays out who gets what. It includes stuff like you can date whoever you want (after the document is signed) and you cannot go to each others residence without being invited, etc. This document is usually the hardest part of getting a divorce. Get ready for the $$ because in Va your wife is even entitled to a share of your retirement, if you have a 'defined benefit' type of retirement. You can fight this stuff but if your wife gets a decent attorney she is going to end up with her fair share. And its not your idea of fair, it the judge's idea of fair. I'm negotiating directly with my wife because if you both sign an agreement, that carries great weight in court. After you have a separation / property settlement signed. You are basically a free man (but not before). Then you can file for a divorce and incorporate the property settlement for the judge to approve. Like I said you need a good attorney...good luck... |
| When two people seperate here, legal or not adultry is not a question, hell I don't think the word exist in our legal establishment. However, we have civil union, go figure. Any way if you have a legal seperation and seperate living arrangements, I would let winky out. |
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You have no children and no assets, so what danger does committing adultery present from a legal standpoint? What's she gonna do? Take your -$ 3000 truck or your slightly used .223 brass? Cover your ass on those phone calls and stalking claims-that's scary-she finds you porkin' the neighbor then - -you were stalking her she needs an order of protection -please turn all guns into the sheriff's department for the next year or so until it's all sorted out -buy lawyer new boat |
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Quoted: ....however my ex says that she won't sign anything until she sees a sign from God Check out [url]www.lds.org[/url] and request that a video be delivered to your wife's home. She [i]might[/i] view the missionaries' visit as the "sign" that she is seeking, and you will end up a free man. Bud |
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Quoted: Wooo Hooo! she has signed the papers. I am now more or less a free man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [beer] It is Miller time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, did you bother asking her what God had to say about the whole ordeal? |
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FWIW, I was in a relationship while my 2 year divorce was going on. If anything, it helped my position in getting custody of my daughter, sowing that there would be a stable family environment. Wow, did I write that???? That is the EXACT same thing that happened to me! The key was stability. Its unfortunate that there are two of us who have had that same fight! |