Posted: 6/9/2010 4:07:41 AM EDT
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Just curious to what the general ARFcom consensus would be....
My best friend (roommate) just proposed to his gf. They have known each other for 3.5 months (he told me he was going to ask around 3 months). It's not a pregnancy thing (I heard her whining about someone else asking that). When I was talking with him about it before he said it was just what he needed to do and "I wish you just knew the feeling." History lesson, as far as I know he has only dated a couple girls ever and I think this is the longest yet; while I have dated numerous girls, probably with more long terms than he's had at all - the idea of him talking to me about relationships is a bit silly. Anyways, from my line of thought, as 3 months in you're still in the infatuation/honeymoon phase of dating where everything still seems great, but after this stage is when you start to notice compatibility "flaws." I'm not saying it's not possible for them to be "right" together, but it seems hasty/irresponsible to me to rush so much. If it's gone work its gonna work, whats the rush? Maybe I'm just old fashioned. What do you guys think? |
| I am letting him make his own choices - as his friend I support him in whatever he decides. I've already agreed to be his best man and treated them to a dinner out as congratulations. The finer workings of their relationship AREN'T any of my business (I only know what he decides to share with me), but I still want the best for my friend. I'm not involving myself at all, this was just a curiosity question to see what everyone thought about the time line. |
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There's is no one size fits all.
My grandad met my grandma, in 3 days they made that decision. They married a week later. he was 22 and she was 16. They stayed together for 53 yrs, seperated by death, and for the most part were extremely happy. The marrage produced one child, my mom. It's really about commitment and being unselfish. Carry on |
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It will go in one extreme or the other... they'll die together old and gray or they'll be divorced inside of a year. I'd let him make his own choices and learn the hard way if it's a wrong one. Agree it will be one extreme or the other. We were married 3mo after we met - over 20 years now; however I was just shy of 31 and she was 34. |
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It will go in one extreme or the other... they'll die together old and gray or they'll be divorced inside of a year. I'd let him make his own choices and learn the hard way if it's a wrong one. Agree it will be one extreme or the other. We were married 3mo after we met - over 20 years now; however I was just shy of 31 and she was 34. Congrats, I hope he has the same luck 
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As stated earlier, I haven't tried "talking sense into him." He's an adult and can make his own decisions. The point of this was to ask what everyone thought about the time frame. I guess I should have made it completely hypothetical  Your "timeframe" question has been answered. Be a freind. Treat him as you would want him to treat you. |
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MYOB. Your friend won't listen to sense anyway, and you'll probably end up with one less friend if you try to talk sense into him. Wait for their relationship to fall apart, when she's an emotional crying wreck, and hit it hard.  Now THERE'S someone with some damn sense! 
My parents met and were married in 3 days, been together over 20 years now...it could be a good thing i guess |
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Quoted:
There's is no one size fits all. My grandad met my grandma, in 3 days they made that decision. They married a week later. he was 22 and she was 16. They stayed together for 53 yrs, seperated by death, and for the most part were extremely happy. The marrage produced one child, my mom. It's really about commitment and being unselfish. Carry on And loyalty. There doesn't seem to be much loyalty anymore. I wonder why that is? |
This I'm getting old, the wife is still there Even after 19 yrsQuoted:
It will go in one extreme or the other... they'll die together old and gray or they'll be divorced inside of a year. I'd let him make his own choices and learn the hard way if it's a wrong one. |