Posted: 5/28/2010 4:47:31 PM EDT
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Time for some *special* posts on Craigslist. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bhm/1614891621.html WTT High Fives for any Musical InstrumentDate: 2010-02-23, 7:05PM EST Have some instruments (pianos, trumpets, guitars, hurdy-guydys) that you need to get rid of? I will take these off of your hands, and in return you will receive a solid High Five. I have been told that my high fives are top-notch, so this is a very good deal. I will take just about any bass, flute, mandolin, violin, tuba, what have you...I am not picky. So hit me up with an awesome email and let's strike a deal. Local deals only. No traveling to high-five you. Low Fives also, though they aren't as satisfying. Here's what we'd be looking at:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/1596308401.html WE NEED A SMART PERSONDate: 2010-02-11, 1:10PM EST We need a smart or more person to help un with our Company.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/1578516400.html Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM.Date: 2010-01-30, 6:19PM EST WANTED: One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives. We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem! Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for "precious". This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/spi/1568771355.html a big healthy shitDate: 2010-01-24, 6:13PM CST come and get it while it's still fresh has corn in it from the other night looks to be about a pound looking to trade it for a nice speed boat or something fuck i dont know email me with what your willing to trade 100 bucks takes this awesome keep sake it's a must have trust me!
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lft/1563067762.html Male Villain Seeking Female Arch-Enemy - m4wDate: 2010-01-21, 3:05AM CST Howdy, I'm looking for a deadly vixen to do battle with on a weekly basis. We could meet in parks, rooftops, on the top of a moving train, on top of a moving truck, on top of anything really. My last arch-enemy found a new villain to fight when she decided beating me was too easy =(. I'm looking for someone strong, but not too strong. If you're about Buffy strong, you're too strong, but if you're about Sailor Mercury strong, that's too weak. Costumes are a plus and bring a group if you want, but no more than 3 because there's a difference between losing a battle and just straight up getting jumped. Should we ever have a common greater foe, I'm all for teaming up, but just that one time. Please respond soon, I'm so out of practice. I don't even have any putties to fight.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aaa/1495706618.html Wanted–– babysitter for druggiesDate: 2009-12-04, 11:59PM EST My boyfriend and I like to experiment with various recreational chemicals, but sometimes when we're coming down (like now) we don't want to go out, but we really really really want some sort of obscure, horrible fast food item. We used to have a friend that would bring us stuff and not expect much in return, but he moved away. We would like a replacement for him. We don't want to DO drugs with you, but we are perfectly willing to hook you up or bake you cookies (when we're sober) or listen to you whine about how no girls like you (as our old Tender of the Druggies did). We don't want you to stay overly long, either. Bring us stuff, chill for maybe fifteen minutes (longer if we aren't obviously exchanging looks or hinting about how tired we are or how NO WE DO NOT WANT A CUDDLE THREESOME), be on your way. We are chill people and really would like to be your friend, but this works better if you are some sort of unlikable loser, eager to please and be accepted, have lots of spare time and few friends, and are socially retarded in some other manner–– thus you are fine with an abusive, exploitative relationship of you fetching us NOMS. Anyway, hunger is becoming a serious problem after all this 2c-i so we are off to fix that. Please let us know if you would like to assist us with this endeavor in the future. We are conveniently located in downtown Ann Arbor. Nacah is Hebrew.... for adventure.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/1483621873.html Human Soul (black friday special)Date: 2009-11-27, 5:10AM EST I am interested in selling my soul or trading it to someone that could help me acquire holiday gifts for myself and family. I have been short on cash due to the low amount of work available here in sunny Florida and would greatly appreciate the help. You will receive a contract and certificate of authenticity both will be signed in my own blood and will verify by name that you are the new owner of my soul. (this is not a joke i really am selling it!) you could use it to trade the devil for fame or riches (keep in mind that you don't have to give him your own soul), you could use it as a doormat you could give it away as a gift or resell it the options are endless! please help my family have a great holiday and buy my soul now! i will also trade for household items and electronics, car or truck, gas mopeds, ect. you get the idea. thank you and have a great holiday season!
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1755781713.html BEAT IT WITH A REAL JO-BRO - m4mDate: 2010-05-23, 5:13PM EDT I'm a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the "Beat It" video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. I would have done this way sooner but have little faith in humanity. Requirements: -access to an abandoned warehouse -old enough/built kinda awesome -maintains good eye contact -general intensity -cool moves -shades -leather jackets ( I had to give the one in the pic back - long story, I can tell you when we finish) -Bedazzler -basic knowledge of knife/sword/bat fight etiquette (I can teach you what I know if you are pretty serious about art like me) -can lift 80 lbs -bachelor's in something or equivalent experience -not a narc Whereas dudes/J-ing O are both undeniably awesome, I'm a straight bro. As in not gay. I just really love MJ and being open minded about new JO scenarios. We will basically play "Beat It" over and over again while we JO and dance, occasionally parrying/thrusting. Winner finishes the most times, but points will be awarded for finishing first/accuracy. If you're the heter-bro I'm looking for, then we can JO furiously/competitively and then just hang or whatever. I've got laser tag too. I'm pretty serious about this. As in completely serious. If you touch my junk with anything but your own I will BF you in the M. Nerds/gays need not apply. I'M NOT GAY. P.S. - And I've gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now. "They told him don't you ever come around here Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear So beat it, just beat it"
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