Posted: 9/4/2015 9:55:55 AM EDT
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Many years ago during my private pilot training I had already soloed and was out in the practice area. This was out of Jefferson County airport in Beaumont Texas. The practice area was near Sabine Pass over mostly salt marsh. I was on the Jefferson County tower frequency when the tower advised me of traffic in a specific direction. I looked and replied that I did not see the plane. The tower came back and said it was a Papa38. I again replied that I did not have sight of the P38. Tower replied that traffic was no longer a factor. Immediately I heard over the tower frequency ratatatratatatratatat from the P38. The tower replied that I think he got you 5361Mike.
FYI there was an airshow about to kick off in Galveston and this P38 was coming in from Louisiana and was flying along the gulf coast to Galveston. Jefferson County airport was also used a lot by NASA T38 pilots out of Ellington Field for approach practice which resulted in some interesting radio traffic V |
I was hungover (possibly still drunk) and hurting very badly while boarding an early Southwest flight from San Anotnio to Atlanta. I sat next to a cute MILF who was holding her newborn. As we took off, the baby started to cry and it was just killing me. She ended up pulling her breast out right in from of me and started feeding the baby. I'm sitting right next to her and trying not to look at her. After the plane landed I got out of my isle seat and figured that I'd help her with her bag. I didn't know what else to say, so I just said something to the fact that "the little guy must have been hungry". She explained that the sucking helped clear his ears and was calming. I explained to her I had been doing wrong my whole life...I had been chewing gum. 
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When passing through airports and encountering a commercial pilot I will often ask them if they enjoy airplane jokes. If they do I tell them this one:
Why is there no Federal regulation that requires commercial aircraft to land? Because they will come down. Never been a problem. |
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I learned to fly at Corpus Christi International. While a small airport it gets a lot of commercial and military traffic. Shortly in my solo career I was still flying approaches by the book. First notch of flap on downwind, second notch on base and third notch on final. Works pretty well, except that it is common to fly in 30kt winds around here. Approach speed on a 172 is 65 kts, meaning a 1 mile final takes FOREVER. ATC: "Cessna N1234, cleared to land 17" ATC: "Southwest12, cleared to land behind Cessna 172, 2 miles ahead of you." SW: "Southwest 12, cleared to land being slow moving Cessna" Me: "Cessna N1234 is trying it's best" SW: "(laughter) Keep trying and some day maybe you can be a 737" Fortunately by then I had learned to land a the 1000 ft markers and take first taxiway. |
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Quoted:
Don't know if this will be big enough to view adequately but I'll try. It's a pic of the best quotes of 2014 taken from ERC filings for my air line. http://<a href=http://i1334.photobucket.com/albums/w653/Vne70/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG0220_1_zpscx2co66n.jpg</a>" /> That was great, Vne! Thanks for posting, I can relate to a bunch of those. Sent it to the old man (retired airline captain), he'll get a kick out of them too.
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About a month ago, I was working an aircraft that had a bird strike on the left wing. Earlier that week, we had another aircraft that was badly damaged by three different bird strikes on approach. I called maintenance control and informed them of the bird strike, and they got a little panicky. M.C.: "Bird strike?!? How bad is it?" Me: "Well, I have some bad news....I don't think the bird made it." |
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Quoted:
About a month ago, I was working an aircraft that had a bird strike on the left wing. Earlier that week, we had another aircraft that was badly damaged by three different bird strikes on approach. I called maintenance control and informed them of the bird strike, and they got a little panicky. M.C.: "Bird strike?!? How bad is it?" Me: "Well, I have some bad news....I don't think the bird made it." Everybody at our company does the same thing now! Last year we had a goose take out 2' of leading edge on approach, basically caved it in, turning the LE inside out. Pilot said it happened at the initial fix and he was booking, probably still doing 200 kts, which I believe based on the damage. The service center had to send the folks out to speed-tape the wing back together and let him ferry it to Wichita, where it sat for a month or so. So now any time we take a bird strike, we send the chief a text message along the same lines.
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There was no damage to the plane that I was on, but the one prior to that got a new radome, a new leading edge segment, and a new engine. About a week ago I coined the term "beverage-induced failure." Maintenance control wanted to know why I was so sure that the radar control panel was the reason why we were getting a "WX FAIL" message. |
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Quoted:
About a month ago, I was working an aircraft that had a bird strike on the left wing. Earlier that week, we had another aircraft that was badly damaged by three different bird strikes on approach. I called maintenance control and informed them of the bird strike, and they got a little panicky. M.C.: "Bird strike?!? How bad is it?" Me: "Well, I have some bad news....I don't think the bird made it." I usually say: There goes my dinner. 
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