Posted: 3/24/2007 3:21:26 PM EDT
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Good luck, What I did was maybe not the best solution but it worked for me, indulged until I was tired of it. Just be careful trying to repress sex drive because it will usually come out somewhere, and it may not be healthy. At least you are still in the stage of "getting rid of the evidence" and don't have a closet full (or hard drive full) of stuff. Find a healthy outlet. Seek moderation in all things. Edit to add that if you feel a relationship with god is incompatible with porn, one of them has to go. Maybe google "healthy sexual outlets for Christians" or something like that. Or, if you want, I'm sure you could find a way to rectify porn and god but that will probably more difficult and could cause psych problems. |
| This site might have some helpful info. I'll be praying for you. |
Single, no kids. |
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Ok, Devil's advocate time, here goes: Looking at pictures does not hurt you. God does not say you have to be miserable. If you were married, it would be ok to look at your wife that way. Because you are not married, looking at pictures or videos on the internet is victimless. Getting on the internet occasionally and looking at pictures is not a sin. Despite the fact that it would be immoral for you to go out and be promiscuious, merely looking at pictures is not the same thing as going and doing it for real. You don't have a "problem" unless you prefer porn to real human contact. As a compromise, maybe the deleting might be hindering you. If you want more, because you deleted what you had last week, try some online places like xtube or youporn [both free, flash based] where you only get the content online, not as a download. This way, you avoid the "guilt purges". Also, go out and find a good, religious companion, and possibly your desire for the internet pictures won't be quite as necessary... |
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I recommend these sites xxxchurch.com/07/ they came and spoke at my father's church and were great they link to this site www.pureonline.com/ good luck to ya |
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I tell you the bad thing about porn. One day your just looking at swimming suit modles and the next year your own kiddy porn. We all know what happens to people that get caught with kiddy porn, they go to jail and they get to share a cell with some bug guy named bubbu. I work in the IT sector and we can tell the difference between what is accidental and intentional. If there is a pattern and they do have pics then we tell them to pack their things and we walk them out the door. It happens all the time. Bad thing about porn is it takes advantage of our natural instincts and desires. It basically works on people’s curiosity. It affects people who would not even go to a gas station to by a magazine. Same deal with people who may not drink but if they were offered one for free then hey why not. Some people have a potential of being an alcoholic and they don’t even realize it until they lost every thing they have. The big problem is that the internet gives a false sense of anonymity like some dark bar and its there at a click of a button. It can be dangerous because it can be as addictive like some street drugs. When I was single I had shit loads of porn and my computer was giant porn server. I also always had a case of beer and pantry full of hard liquior. I got me a freaky girl freind and I lost interest in porn. Now thats gone, I got older and I grew up. Now I only have a couple of beers and one bottle of liquior and a wife that keeps saying that she has a headache. Maybe most people will grow out of it and it's not a problem. I personally see nothing wrong with taking a look every now and then or taking a shot of vodka. But I can certainly live with out it. What makes anything bad is it's abuse. What you do is your business but if you can’t control your self then unplug it or go with a service that has built in filtering like some christain based ISPs http://www.integrity.com/ http://www.crosswayisp.net/ http://www.christianityonline.com/ |
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The only download filter that really works is the one between your ears. I stopped downloading porn when I started thinking about what would happen if I died and hadn't first cleaned up my computer - How it would affect my family, etc. I'm going to leave a bad enough mess behind without porn. That was one small step beyond selfishness. And I thought about the porn industry and how it exploits people. Sure, some are very successful and make a lot of money at it, but most people who get into it are naive and not thinking about the future consequences they may have from it. A bigger step past selfishness. My imagination is vivid enough as it is. I don't need to be pumped with images that titillate and distract. Plus real sex is a whole lot better than fantasy. |
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Look up Steve Gallagher, He once came to the church I attend and I read 2 of his books. "Tearing down the high places of sexual idolotry," and "The God who meets our needs." Some people here are telling you to just live with this, I am telling you you can be set free. I have!  |
Why not prioritize a normal, physical, real time sex life....rather than depending on the internet? Lots of women out there. |
Ahhhhh.......no....that's not how normal, sexually healthy people act. That's how sexual predators act. Nobody just "stumbles" upon children having sex with adults. People find that stuff because they're sick, depraved individuals.....and FAR from normal. |
I was making wild example. |
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I have installed CyberPatrol on all my kids' PCs. It works well. Get a friend you can trust to set the password and rules. That's just a start. Do not think that an external solution will solve this internal, spiritual, problem. Now the spiritual side. This is not a "victimless" activity. The first victims are the women. They are all someone's daughter, sister, or friend. OK, lots of them do it because they want to, but many do it because they feel it's the only way to make it. If you understood the true role of women in the plan of creation, you would NEVER particpate in the sacrilege of pornography. The second victim is you. Many will say that this does not affect them. Try telling that to all who are now addicted to it. See if they can stop immediately. They can't. That means that something has changed in their minds. Biologically - as you grow from infancy your brain is wired bit by bit. There are physical neurological connections - nerves and synapses - that are formed as you learn. What you learn, your habits, beliefs, and so on are hard wired in your brain. That is why it takes about 3 weeks to break a habit - you have to get your brain to remove the connections that are built in as a response when the habit trigger is tripped, and typically replace it with something different. Same with porn - the physical responses you have are hard wired. The way you behave and the things you do are done because of the physical connections you have established through doing the same thing over and over. The images are stored in there, forever, along with all your life experiences. You can't quit right now because all the wiring is in place. The longer you persist, the more entrenched the wiring will be - like the roads of a large city. You have noticed that the effect in you is not a good one. That is why you asked the question in a public forum. You know that the Savior bled for your sins, and you have felt the weight of your sins, and imagined them on his head. Clearly this is not a good thing. Now it is because of that, and only because of that, that you can GET the power to overcome the addiction. Because the Savior completed the atonement, the power to overcome is made available to all of us. We are not capable of overcoming these sins with our own power, but with his help, we can. Now how do we do this? First, believe in Christ. Second, believe in the atonement - that it is in fact possible for you to have the power to change your natural ways and become clean, and for him to forgive you. He will, with your true and sincere repentance. Third, exercise faith in Christ and the atonement. You exercise faith by changing your environment and circumstances in whatever ways are necessary to help change your behavior. You exercise faith by praying, for strength, forgiveness, and righteousness. You exercise faith by replacing the bad thoughts with positive ones - find good things to replace the bad wiring. You exercise faith by serving others, by losing yourself in the service of others (he who will lose his life will find it, he will find his life will lose it). You exercise faith by attending church, by fellowshipping with others who are striving for righteousness. You exercise faith by reading the scriptures daily. The four gospels are a good place to start, because they are full of Christ's teaching and the descriptions of the atonement. Remember that his ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts. It is only as we do his will, live his commendments, and are obedient to his teachings that we start to "become perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect" and that we come to "know ... the one true God, and Jesus Christ whom he has sent". I wish you well. I know that you can succeed, if you truly want to. I know this because I have lived it. grommet |
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A few free previews isn't going to kill you or send you into the fiery pit. Every healthy person has an interest in sex and appreciation for the natural beauty of a healthy body of the opposite sex. And it may be instinctive...we do like to watch if we can't participate. I don't see how that could be sinful. You'll be all right as long as it's an occasional thing...and don't buy any memberships! That's a bad financial decision at the very least. I don't think you need any more help than that. You don't need "spiritual counseling", just a reasonable perspective on what you've been doing. I think you're not overdoing it and don't NEED any help. CJ |
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As a single man I think that it would be unusual for you to not be attracted to the opposite sex. It's natural to want to be married and express your love through intercourse and enjoy this physical pleasure. I'm not sure frequent, or even, infrequent, veiwing of others commiting sex acts for profit is acceptable as some would leave you to believe. The fact that your asking for help indicates that you are feeling quilty; that you have a problem that needs to be addressed. "That" my friend is the first step towards recovery. We are all sinners and are presented with things we must struggle with. I would suggest spirtual counceling perhaps in combination with a support group. Not all of us will admit it , but if we're honest we all must overcome something and look for resolve with our creator. If we don't have anything we need to take to the Lord then we're like cheating at golf; just shitting ourselves. Bd1 |
Excellent. Very kind of you to offer advice from personal experience. |
| www.xxxchurch.com install the software, sign up a partner under the accountability partner, every two weeks they get a report of what you have looked at, and they will get notice if you try to turn it off. BUT make sure you keep your buddies off your computer. I have it on my work PC and i have to keep the guys off my computer. |
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Well, it sounds like you have some choices to make. I think it boils down to this: you can do what others have suggested to stop yourself from engaging in the behavior that is bothering you, or you can re-evaluate your personal beliefs and perhaps find a belief system that is a better fit for you. It's up to you to make the right choice for yourself. |
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www.wisechoice.net Here is their forum. Good way to communicate with guys in a similar situation to yours. discuss.wisechoice.net/ It's cheap and effective ($5 a month) What's more, once you install the software it cannot be turned off by you. The filter can only be turned off on their end. If you try to delete or uninstall the program it does something bad to your computer - disable your ability to get online PERIOD. You must call them personally to request to cancel your subscription. $5 a month is nothing if you really want to get rid of porn in your life. I used it and it has been a pretty effective filter. The guy who started this had the same problem and wanted to start a really good filter to help people like you. Hope it works out for you, and God bless. |
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I was watching mad tv the other day and bob newhart was on playing a shrink and a lady came for help and all his advice was "Just stop it!" Now you and I know that there is more to it than that. Number one our battle is not against flesh and blood but with principalities of darkness. This is a spiritual battle. I know I fought it a couple years ago. The first thing you need to come to the realization of is that you have victory over this by the Blood of Jesus. Satans lied to you told you your worthless and you believe him. Cling to the word of God which promises us His victory. Psalm 91 is a wonderful promise from God to man for victory. The second thing I would suggest is start dying to your flesh. This means fasting and praying in stead of seeking entertainment. How did Jesus start His ministry40 days of fasting and prayer. Elijah vs. Jezebel 40 days of fasting. Give up something pray about it and stick with it. This will defeat the power of darkness over you by drawing you closer to God. If you fail shake it off because Gods grace is infinite. Get back on the horse and keep fighting. God is waiting for you to try and ask for His help. You can do this and you will in Jesus name because He loves you and your not a quitter. start praying for victory over your flesh and it's desires. Remember Paul tells us we must die to our flesh and be led by the Spirit Galations 5:24-26. I also recommend reading the book and specifically this Chapter in its entirety. It's about the difference between walking in the law and walking with the Spirit. If you need help or prayer let me know Remember a good filter does not fix the problem this will haunt you until you pray through it and even then Satan mey try to remind you of your past so cling to the word. You are victorious in Christ Jesus. 
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Guilt is powerful, from what I understand the people who become addicted feel guilty about looking at porn. My suggestion is to spend more time in the real world, join things, go out, and look into hobbies. Porn has the potential to turn into something really bad, so it's best to work on the problem before it gets too big. Another thing you might think of doing, is looking into attempting to make yourself a better person, whatever it is that bothers you about yourself attempt to deal with it, the better person on the other side may not want porn as bad you you do. one other thing there are 12 step programs you might want to look into, you may not need one, but you'll see people who do, that may be enough to cause you to seek a healthy outlet as an earlier poster put it. |