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Posted: 12/21/2005 5:07:31 PM EDT
My girlfriend is catholic.

I was divorced by an unfaithful wife.

How does the catholic church view my situation?

How would the church feel about it if I wanted to marry my current gf ?



Thanks
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 5:11:09 PM EDT
I am almost positive that you could not remarry in a church unless you get an anulment to your previous marrige. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you and I wish you all the luck in the world with your new gf.
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 5:16:45 PM EDT
I'm under the belief that if you were originally married in a Catholic ceremony (sacrament), then you'll need to get an annulment of your first marriage. If you were married elsewhere - courthouse, etc., you should be good to go with no worries. Getting her to say Yes is the first hurdle. If you can't get an annulment and the church won't marry you, there are other options.

Good luck and Merry Christmas.
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 5:17:33 PM EDT
It depends

If you are Catholic, not without an annulment of the previous marriage.

If you are not Catholic, then yes as long as you agree to raise the kids Catholic.
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 5:24:46 PM EDT
I'm not Catholic.
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 9:04:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Typical_Infidel:
My girlfriend is catholic.

I was divorced by an unfaithful wife.

How does the catholic church view my situation?

How would the church feel about it if I wanted to marry my current gf ?



Thanks



Believe it or not, there is not enough information for us to know how the Church would view your "situation."

a) are you baptized?
b) was your wife baptized?
if yes to both, then the Church would view that marriage as a scramental marriage until evidence indicates to the contrary (you have to prove that it was not a sacramental union). In such a case, even dating would be considered adultery until the first marriage is proven to be a non-sacrament,, as you have romantic interest in someone other than your wife, even though you are civilly (or uncivilly) divorced. Seek the annullment first, before pursuing your relationship with the woman you consider your girlfriend.

If one of you was not baptized, then there was no sacrament, as an unbaptized person cannot enter into a sacramental marriage. Seek the annullment first, as it would be mostly a formality to determine that there was no sacrament (one of the conditions necessary for a sacrament was missing --two baptized people).

Either way, seek the annullment first, before pursuing your relationship with the young lady.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 12:23:31 AM EDT
I was baptized and she was not.

Another piece of info, I was her second husband.

How in the world do you seek an annullment?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 3:59:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By WMHM4:
I am almost positive that you could not remarry in a church unless you get an anulment to your previous marrige. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you and I wish you all the luck in the world with your new gf.



I beleive since you are not catholic and if you were not married in a catholic church than you may not need an anulment to get married in a catholic church. You most likely need to become a catholic to get married in the church but I'm not 100% sure on that.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 3:55:49 PM EDT
You do not need to become Catholic. You will have to take marriage classes about being married to a Catholic, raising your children and all the other aspects that may come up because of you not being Catholic. They try to help out sort these things BEFORE you get married and then realize that you cannot agree on these issues and then get a divorce.

Also, I don't believe your first marriage will prevent you from being married in the Church. Talk to a local Father or deacon for 100% confirmation. Also realize, some Catholic churches will be different than others.

My cousin married a Mormon and they got married in the Church.

thanks,
Ron
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 6:55:24 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Typical_Infidel:
I was baptized and she was not.

Another piece of info, I was her second husband.



Since there were not two baptized christians involved, it was not a sacrament. Sounds like you'll be good to go.


How in the world do you seek an annullment?

Talk to your gf's pastor and let him know you have been married and would like to seek a "declaration of nullity" since you and your gf are seriously involved and you don't want her to be in a position of possibly committing adultery by being in a relationship with a married man (you). Each diocese has what is called a marriage tribunal set up specifically to handle cases such as yours. They will gather evidence, talk to you and your ex (might be done by questionairre since your case seems like a formality that won't have to go very deep), maybe some who knew you two when you got married, and then make a determination.

Link Posted: 12/22/2005 8:36:45 PM EDT
Thank you all for your insight.

I would hate to come between anyone's relationship with God.

Thanks again and God Bless
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 9:06:41 PM EDT
If you were married in a civil ceremony and neither of you were Catholic most likely you would not need an annulment. However if you had children you would regardless. If you were married by a Christain church of any kind you will need an annulment.

Go talk with the Priests. Do not be defensive. Some Priests are more sticklers than others.

Patty
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 9:16:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/23/2005 6:33:07 AM EDT by VA-gunnut]

Originally Posted By Typical_Infidel:
My girlfriend is catholic.
I was divorced by an unfaithful wife.
How does the catholic church view my situation?
How would the church feel about it if I wanted to marry my current gf ?



Ok, here's the BEST advice you're going to get. Talk to a catholic Priest - not a bunch of gun nuts.

Oh and here's MY guess... (bet I'm right too) The church doesn't care if you are divorced IF - you were NOT married in the catholic chruch the first time. Just convert, confess your sins, get absolution and then Marry a nice catholic girl.

***Edited<va-gunnut>***
Link Posted: 12/23/2005 5:11:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Progunvoter:

Ok, here's the BEST advice you're going to get. Talk to a catholic Priest - not a bunch of gun nuts.


Very true.


Oh and here's MY guess... (bet I'm right too) The church doesn't care if you are divorced IF - you were NOT married in the catholic chruch the first time.


I wish you were betting money, because I could use some. The Church assumes that the marriage between two baptized persons who are not Catholic (Baptists, Methodists, Nazarene, whatever) is a valid sacramental marriage unless proven otherwise. A divorce matters very much if there is to be a second relationship. If one is Catholic, then the marriage must be in the Catholic Church or have a dispensation, otherwise it would be invalid. Since T_I was baptized, but ex-wife was not, there was no sacramental marriage. BUT, it is best to get it officially determined by the marriage tribunal.
Link Posted: 12/28/2005 10:17:31 PM EDT
I hate to tell you this, but you had better be sure that this is "The One And Only Women Four You". Unless you plan on converting to catholicism you have a ton of hoops to jump through, and even if you do there is still alot of B.S.
I was in the same boat that you are in. We were both divorced. She was Catholic and I was not. Both of us had cheating spouses. My biggest problem was that my girlfriend was a teacher at a catholic elem. school. We both had to get anullments even though I wasn't catholic. Her job was even threatened by the parish priest (not much of a man of the cloth, because he did it on her answering machine,not even to her face). We have been married for 6 yrs now and have a 4 yr old daughter, and unfortunately sometimes I regret going through with it. Only because of all the controlling rules of the church. The Bull Shit we had to go though was ridiculous. And now she will probably loose her job anyway since 100+ properties are being appraised to sell so the diocese can pay out all lawsuit settlements from the pedifile priests.
All I can say is BE ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE.
Link Posted: 12/28/2005 10:23:42 PM EDT
I think its wise to make absolutely sure that she's the one before saying I do regardless of the religion issues! With that said so bishops are stricter than others. Do a little research and be patient. They after all do have your over all best interest in mind. Marriage shouldn't be taken lightely.

Patty
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