Posted: 3/20/2011 10:35:24 PM EDT
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Please no Mormon bashing. I have been a member of the church for my whole life but inactive for the past 15 years or so. I feel that I have failed my family as it's priesthood holder and allowed the spirit to leave my house. I have finally come to realize how much of a mistake it was to do so and I think it's time to allow it back in. Please help me find the path. |
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At least you have recognized you have made a mistake.
You should be the spiritual leader (with your wife equally yolked) in your home. Good luck as you seek to *change* and return to full fellowship in the Gospel... It willl bless *your* life, and your entire family. |
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Perhaps this would be a good time to research the LDS beliefs against those of modern Christianity. You may find that what is missing in your life isn't necessarily the LDS beliefs but the relationship the God in the 3 beings.
You have a computer and an open mind? - Google is your friend |
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My biggest fear is excommunication. I certainly haven't been very saint like for the last 15 years, I've done some really stupid stuff (no crimes). I already admitted everything to my wife and we are working on her forgiveness towards me. Wowsie... 
The hardest part sometimes is *admitting* to yoursef, first... And then to the people you have hurt... That you have made *serious* mistakes... A great tool the adversary uses is to get people to say to themselves that what they are doing does not hurt anyone. The reality is that you are hurting yourself, your standing with God, and your spouse and family. So a really big hurdle is over... A huge hurdle, in fact... And you cleared it... You admitted your mistake to God, your spouse, and yourself. Now, on to church discipline, and the process of repentance... I am not trying to compare, but I have had friends go through serious repentance... I had a good friend commit adultery. He admitted it to his wife, and he admitted it to his Bishop. He was Excommunicated. It lasted a year. He attended church. He could not give talks, or prayers, or hold a calling. But he attended every week. His membership in the Kingdom of God was eventually restored, and he returned to full-fellowship in the gospel. As for his relationship with his spouse... According to *him* they were never closer than after his return to the gospel... He said he would never have done it the same way, but in the end, they were a good family... Good luck. The power of repentance and change is real... |
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Quoted: Perhaps this would be a good time to research the LDS beliefs against those of modern Christianity. You may find that what is missing in your life isn't necessarily the LDS beliefs but the relationship the God in the 3 beings. You have a computer and an open mind? - Google is your friend Thank you for your input but believe the LDS Church is the only one for me. |
| There are a lot of factors considered in church discipline. The only way to know is to see your Bishop. I know of a case of adultery where there was really nothing done. Not even restrictions on the sacrament. The spirit will guide your Bishop for what YOU need. |
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Gibbs,
Like was stated earlier . . . . . The "hard" part has been done. Go to your bishop. There is nothing sweeter to the Lord than a repentant soul ! Don't fear reprisals. That is Satan's way to keep you from fulfilling the steps of repentance. Your bishop is not one to fear. He will help you to get rid of the feelings of self-doubt, etc. He is there for just this type of thing. Putting your pride aside and going to the Lord in humility is what frees the soul of guilt and anguish. This is a very important point in your life. You are right there at the door. Knock, and it will be opened unto you. Y'gotta knock though. This is YOU exhibiting YOUR faith to God . . . .by ACTING and not just saying the words. Please believe me Gibbs . . . . . . you will leave the bishop's office with renewed hope for a life with FULL fellowship with God. You're right there brutha . . . . . Don't stop now ! ! ! ! You're in my prayers ! Uncle Al |
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Hey Gibbs . . . . .
One other thing. Listen to general Conference in two weekends and see how many talks will be directed specifically to you and what you're going through. I think you'll be astonished by how the spirit will testify to you about what to do. God Bless Brutha ! ! ! ! ! |
Prayed for the first time in a very long time last night. I'm looking for my scriptures now, I hope I can find them, they have been in my family 30+ years. If not I'll pay a visit to the local church book store. Also I'm having issues finding the contact information for the Bishop for my ward. Guess I'll have to stop by on Sunday and say hello.  Last night I found that there are missionaries available online 24/7 to answer questions so I contacted them to see if they were able to help but as soon as I asked the question of my being a long time inactive member looking to return they ended the chat session. I found that to be a little disheartening. Thanks for the advice. |
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Prayed for the first time in a very long time last night. I'm looking for my scriptures now, I hope I can find them, they have been in my family 30+ years. If not I'll pay a visit to the local church book store. Also I'm having issues finding the contact information for the Bishop for my ward. Guess I'll have to stop by on Sunday and say hello.
Last night I found that there are missionaries available online 24/7 to answer questions so I contacted them to see if they were able to help but as soon as I asked the question of my being a long time inactive member looking to return they ended the chat session. I found that to be a little disheartening. Thanks for the advice. I think discouragement is a tool of the adversary. You are pushing a very heavy rock up a steep hill right now... Don't let the stumbles, and potential loss of momentum, or even a fall keep you from getting to where you want to go... And the truth, is we all have our hills to climb, it is just a lot *easier* on the straight-and-narrow with the burden shared in the full measure of the gospel... As far as discouragement is concerned... There is no use getting into a fight if you think you have lost before the first punch is swung... Your opponent can be weaker, slower, and unprepared, and he will beat you because his head is in the game. The adversary is going 24/7, and his goal is to keep you from what you know in your heart-of-hearts is right... And discouragement can kill you in your return to the gospel... And it will kill you in your relationship with your family... And in a large scale, it will kill you in anything you seek to accomplish in life... So don't get discouraged. |
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Go meet with your Bishop and get a copy of the book Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson. Feel free to PM if you need any further guidance/help. READ THAT BOOK! Also I am a big believer in the basics....read the scriptures EVERYDAY. Even if you don't feel like it. Say your prayers everyday, even if you don't feel like it. If you fee like your prayers are not sincere, pray for the ability to pray sincerely, even though right now you might not feel sincere. Start going back to church, go to all your meetings. I will say it one more time, READ THAT BOOK. It will show you that no matter what you've done or how bad you think you have been IT DOES NOT MATTER. Good luck. |
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Talk to your bishop. If he's worth his salt he should be a ton of friendly help to you.
As for excommunication, short of committing some flagrant felony or unrepentant adultery, you probably won't have to even worry about anything like that. Most people who get excommunicated have to deliberately work at it. Pray, read your scriptures, speak to your bishop, and go from there. Remember, Christ's atonement is for all of us sinners. We just need to exercise faith to receive the blessings of what Christ did for us. 
Let me know if I can do anything more specific to help. |
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Here's a story that only members will truly understand. So this morning I tell my wife that I have an appointment to see our Bishop and that I need to redeem myself with both Heavenly Father and the church for my transgressions and you know what she told me? She said that she had prayed for the strength to trust me again. Her prayer was made the day before I came to realize how damaging my mistakes had been against my family and Heavenly Father and for the first time in a long time I have finally felt the spirit return to me, my family and our house. Thanks again to you folks for your help.  |
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Quoted:
Here's a story that only members will truly understand. So this morning I tell my wife that I have an appointment to see our Bishop and that I need to redeem myself with both Heavenly Father and the church for my transgressions and you know what she told me? She said that she had prayed for the strength to trust me again. Her prayer was made the day before I came to realize how damaging my mistakes had been against my family and Heavenly Father and for the first time in a long time I have finally felt the spirit return to me, my family and our house. Thanks again to you folks for your help. good for you....your wife is a great woman |
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[...] Her prayer was made the day before I came to realize [...] Reminds me of the story from church history about how Orrin Porter Rockwell showed up with a team of mules at a widows house in the middle of the night and when she met him at the door, he said... "You should have waited 'till morning to pray that you needed a team of mules, I needed my sleep, and you won't be able to use them 'till tomorrow anyway..." Yeah, prayers *are* answered... |
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The most important thing now and throughout this process, then throughout the rest of your life, is to develop your relationship with the Savior, and develop your faith in him and the Atonement. Because the Atonement was successful, we have have the ability to repent, and we can get the power we need to overcome anything in life that keeps us away from God. Other things may help, but they will all fall short. Only Jesus Christ and the Atonement are powerful enough to overcome all. Because he overcame, so can we. Some of the most important scriptures and concepts that go with them: Moroni 7 - - 33: If you have faith in Christ, you will have power - 20 - 24: How can you get every good thing? All good things come from Christ D & C 88 - - 6 - Christ descended below all things. This means the Atonement is not just for sin, but for sorrow, anger, depression, fear, hopelessness - all the negative emotions that keep us away from our Heavenly Father and from happiness John 7 - - 17 - if you live the Gospel, you will know that it is true. You will know by living it. That's not brainwashing, because you do it experimentally. You try something, and see if it works. True principles work, false ones don't. Alma 32 goes along with this - experiment on the word to develop your faith. When you find good things and you find truth, you no longer need faith because you have knowledge. Then you move on to other things and continue to grow. You are doing the right thing. Don't give up, no matter how hard it gets. It will be worth it. |
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I had my meeting yesterday and I feel things are on the right track. I will be facing Church Discipline but that was to be expected and I will accept whatever is decided and will work towards doing whatever is needed to be back in the good graces of our Heavenly Father and the church. |
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I had my meeting yesterday and I feel things are on the right track. I will be facing Church Discipline but that was to be expected and I will accept whatever is decided and will work towards doing whatever is needed to be back in the good graces of our Heavenly Father and the church. When facing ecclesiastical discipline just remember that the goal is to help you return to full fellowship.
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Gibby,
I wish to apologize if my earlier posting offended you. That wasn't my intent. I posted my feelings about things you had asked for, and understand why the moderator deleted it. I meant no offense. I am most certainly no Mormon basher, and would refer you to my recent posting in this area under a thread called "The Christian Case for Mormon Values". For any offense, I apologize, and ask your forgiveness. Genin |
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repentence can sometimes be a slow process in the sense of what to do and how to act especially around church members.
I had an uncle that was very inactive and made a real sudden turnaround and he made it hard on the family because everything changed so quickly remember the Parable of the Laborers they were all paid the same. Good Luck :D and may God bless you .. |
It's always interesting to see LDS members unexpectedly pop out of the woodwork. But then I suppose a lot of people could say the same about me. 
Anyways, it's good to hear that you have recognized the mistakes in your past and are working to overcome them and be a better man, Gibby. If my calulations are correct, we should be in the same stake.
Our son left the gospel for about 10-12 years. A couple of years ago, realizing that how he was living his life was not bringing him happiness, he had a sudden change of heart and returned to the gospel, underwent the process repentence, and is now preparing to be married to a worthy young lady in the temple this summer. It has been miraculous to watch the changes in his life and his outlook. I sincerely hope the same is in store for you. Congratulations. |
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Gordon Hinckley said this many times, and I loved it every time I heard it:
The gospel of Jesus Christ makes bad men good, and good men better. Following the path Jesus showed us isn't easy, but it's the one that gives us eternal life. There is no name under heaven but Jesus's to save us from our sins, and enable us to return to live with our Father in Heaven. I'm thrilled for you that you are working at this. I'll echo what everyone else said: Study your scriptures, and WORK to feel the influence of the Holy Ghost in your life. Focus on living so that the Spirit can touch you during your day, so you'll know that God loves you, and wants you to continue the path you're starting. Strait and narrow- not easy. God Bless! |
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Quoted: No worries. I didn't see it, so I was not offended.Gibby, I wish to apologize if my earlier posting offended you. That wasn't my intent. I posted my feelings about things you had asked for, and understand why the moderator deleted it. I meant no offense. I am most certainly no Mormon basher, and would refer you to my recent posting in this area under a thread called "The Christian Case for Mormon Values". For any offense, I apologize, and ask your forgiveness. Genin  |
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Quoted: It's always interesting to see LDS members unexpectedly pop out of the woodwork. But then I suppose a lot of people could say the same about me. Anyways, it's good to hear that you have recognized the mistakes in your past and are working to overcome them and be a better man, Gibby. If my calulations are correct, we should be in the same stake. Our son left the gospel for about 10-12 years. A couple of years ago, realizing that how he was living his life was not bringing him happiness, he had a sudden change of heart and returned to the gospel, underwent the process repentence, and is now preparing to be married to a worthy young lady in the temple this summer. It has been miraculous to watch the changes in his life and his outlook. I sincerely hope the same is in store for you. Congratulations. Yes members are indeed everywhere. I just returned from a trip to Boise and it's not often you'll find a Book of Mormon in the nightstand. We are in the same stake, it has been my stake for 18 years or so. Our children were born outside of temple marriage but we were all sealed in the Seattle Temple during the Summer of 1994. At the time we had a strong ward family within the Everett 7th. But when we moved away I didn't really feel the same connection with the new ward in Marysville and working was more important to me then going to church. My wife and children continued to attend but after a while my wife grew tired of asking me if I was going to go or not and stopped attending herself. Currently my wife is still thinking about coming back, I told her that I would like the support but I'm not going to force her to return. My oldest daughter was thinking about returning before she found out that I was going back. My middle and youngest currently have no desire to return. I hope that once I'm back into the swing of things that their hearts might be swayed to return. They both are good people with no major problems that would hamper their return. My current Bishop was out of town for a week and with General Conference this past weekend I'm hoping to hear from him by this Sunday when I can expect to be called in front of the disciplinary council. I am not worried about what they decide. Even though it's called the disciplinary council, I know that it's not punishment that they will be handing out, but a path of repentance that I must follow in order to be made whole again in the eyes of our Heavenly Father and to be able to again perform my duties as the Melchizedek Priesthood holder of my home. |
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I am not LDS, but I urge you to get face-to-face with a fellow believer ASAP. Everything I know about the Saints says that in their church as in mine there are people praying right now for somebody like you to walk into their lives so that they can live out the witness and guidance that they are called to.
Strike while the iron is hot, my man! You know as well as I do that there is something out there not just waiting, but working very hard to get you to sit on your hands until this inspiration for repentance blows over. If you can't think of anything else to do: 1) Get on your knees and pray. Then spend twice as much time listening. Our Father is talking all the time, but we rarely open our ears to Him. 2) GO TO CHURCH. Go the next time they open the door, and every time the doors open again thereafter. As crazy as it may sound, God and many of the people who work for him spend a lot of time there. |
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I had my meeting yesterday and I feel things are on the right track. I will be facing Church Discipline but that was to be expected and I will accept whatever is decided and will work towards doing whatever is needed to be back in the good graces of our Heavenly Father and the church. When facing ecclesiastical discipline just remember that the goal is to help you return to full fellowship. Critically important. It's not Chinese water torture. It's a bath. The water may be warmer or colder than you'd like, but it's a bath. |
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I am not LDS, but I urge you to get face-to-face with a fellow believer ASAP. Everything I know about the Saints says that in their church as in mine there are people praying right now for somebody like you to walk into their lives so that they can live out the witness and guidance that they are called to. Strike while the iron is hot, my man! You know as well as I do that there is something out there not just waiting, but working very hard to get you to sit on your hands until this inspiration for repentance blows over. If you can't think of anything else to do: 1) Get on your knees and pray. Then spend twice as much time listening. Our Father is talking all the time, but we rarely open our ears to Him. 2) GO TO CHURCH. Go the next time they open the door, and every time the doors open again thereafter. As crazy as it may sound, God and many of the people who work for him spend a lot of time there. Great post, man. Thank you! |