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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/8/2010 3:49:23 AM EDT
typing away on your favorite survival forum..when...out of no where.

Multicam clad zombies wearing kifaru emrs with super seat(optional of course for 200$,add 50$ if in mc) carrying zombie midgets weilding machettes,bust down your door ......your brave dog leaps to the attack..only to be beat down by the midget...
you clammer out of your seat .shocked at what has happened....and your in condition brown level 12 by now...........



what do you do....arfcom SF..what do you do.......
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 4:00:37 AM EDT
change the channel
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 4:03:03 AM EDT
well, the M1 happens to be leaning right over there...so somthin like this



(yea yea its a bolt, but i think it should be a garand)
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 4:03:44 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/8/2010 4:04:53 AM EDT by Echo2]
first post.....nailed it....

Stop falling asleep at your computer....
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 4:47:42 AM EDT
Protus, have you been hitting the shrooms again?
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 4:52:53 AM EDT
Grab the klakker and let the claymores do the work....duh.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 5:06:30 AM EDT
Shoot the Hostage!
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 6:21:21 AM EDT
Had you been wearing your multicam, they would have never seen you...
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 6:23:28 AM EDT
Do a search for all of Protus' posts in the last 6 years, read them, realize that the zombies are just gear whores who paid too much, and laugh at them.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 6:26:06 AM EDT
Throw a cup of bleach on their gear , they run out crying .
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 6:29:14 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Warlord_Doc:
Shoot the Hostage!


Beat me to it!

Link Posted: 9/8/2010 6:56:27 AM EDT
The screen pauses as Waylon Jennings voice comes on asking how the Duke boys are gona make it outa this mess again (Dukes of Hazzard). Screen unfreezes and I promptly blow them all up with a TNT Arrow from my compound bow.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 8:48:04 AM EDT
hey P. i thought you didn't anymore?..













K.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 9:01:27 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Warlord_Doc:
Shoot the Hostage!



Shoot whoever is close by, so they will ravage their body while I make my escape.

Haven't you guys ever been bear hunting?

Link Posted: 9/8/2010 9:07:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/8/2010 9:08:17 AM EDT by MOS2111]
try to waddle up from behind the drums of rice you stockpiled in the basement because you are too lazy to follow rule # 1 for helping in ANY situation.
Cardio.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 9:11:33 AM EDT
Rock out with my glock out until I can fight my way to my ammo fort where my 1911 and other fun zombie exterminating gear is.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 9:18:12 AM EDT
As luck would have it I happen to be using a chainsaw today. Oh and I just sharpened the edge of my straight blade shovel and spud bar this morning.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 9:43:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/8/2010 9:43:35 AM EDT by ireload]
I would turn on my TV and show Rossie O's pathetic and "thanks God" only variety show.

I bet that would run them zombies out of town in a jiffy.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 10:16:56 AM EDT
I would set up on the side of the bed. Orient myself stagger to the bathroom for 4:00am piss. While standing over th bowl I think to myself,"I got to stop watching cheesey zombie movies on Netfilx before going to bed". I stagger back to bed and try to get another hour of sleep before the alarm goes off.

So about the same reaction I have every morning around 4:00am!
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 10:22:18 AM EDT
run to the shower and grab the FAL, oh look, a cookie, nom nom nom...
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 10:29:08 AM EDT
Originally Posted By PATCH5:
run to the shower and grab the FAL, oh look, a cookie, nom nom nom...


Link Posted: 9/8/2010 10:30:03 AM EDT
midgets you say
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 10:46:10 AM EDT
Originally Posted By UKjohn:
midgets you say

You can turn a good time into a GREAT time when you put MIDGETS in the mix!! "True story...."

Link Posted: 9/8/2010 10:54:22 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Warlord_Doc:
Originally Posted By UKjohn:
midgets you say

You can turn a good time into a GREAT time when you put MIDGETS in the mix!! "True story...."



Is that the one about the midget hooker from Mexico with the baseball bat and the E-5? If so, that happened in my barracks at Ft. Bliss, she was snuck in via a foot locker in the trunk of a sketchy cab... I of course was not involved in any way.
Damn shit went down that night. Rank reductions left and right, we had to deal with the fallout for weeks...
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 12:45:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/8/2010 12:51:20 PM EDT by Durango_USMC]
step one: flip the monitor over to midget porn
step two: retreat to ammo fort next to PC throw glocks at zombie while midget rapes zombie whilereancting the midget exploits. Ammo should be stacke dhigh enough a midget wont be able to see or climb over.
step three: squash midget from above with that 2,160 case of 5.45x39mm ammo. if this fails push over uper level of ammo fort.
step four: sit on top of your ammo fort eat MRE
step five: put zombie kirafu on ebay. UPS/Fed-ex midget to another country, for some reason china comes to mind. (however france or california can be substituted for china based on shipping)
step six: PM protus with a pic of multicam clad zombie

SUBSTITUTE FOR STEP FIVE: Send the partially squashed but angry midget to the freakin mexican calling my phone with a green colored note card, wait for headlines, and the phone calls should stop.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 1:28:09 PM EDT
Give the dog a viking funeral with zombie kindling. Fortunately I keep a multicam lighter for just such occasions.
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 2:02:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By blackeye:
Originally Posted By Warlord_Doc:
Shoot the Hostage!



Shoot whoever is close by, so they will ravage their body while I make my escape.

Haven't you guys ever been bear hunting?



Break their legs and make a run for it...
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 3:35:33 PM EDT
Light a smoke, call karate man ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause the final episode of True blood didn't DVR ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause i still can't afford a Harley and my gun hobby , shoot a zombie, bitch cause my lotto numbers aren't working ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause theirs never any fucking sugar sand or girls in bikinis where we hike , shoot a zombie, bitch cause they were out of multicam when i ordered my zxr and i had to settle for ACU , bitch cause all the f'n zombies are skinny bastards and the waistbelts on the kifaru don't fit and i still got no f'n multijamies
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 3:43:52 PM EDT
you wake up thinking about this?
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 4:46:53 PM EDT
I suppose I could beat one of them with my laptop.........
Link Posted: 9/8/2010 5:23:22 PM EDT
Originally Posted By acman145acp:
Light a smoke, call karate man ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause the final episode of True blood didn't DVR ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause i still can't afford a Harley and my gun hobby , shoot a zombie, bitch cause my lotto numbers aren't working ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause theirs never any fucking sugar sand or girls in bikinis where we hike , shoot a zombie, bitch cause they were out of multicam when i ordered my zxr and i had to settle for ACU , bitch cause all the f'n zombies are skinny bastards and the waistbelts on the kifaru don't fit and i still got no f'n multijamies


You know the final episode of True Blood is this Sunday, Sept. 12th right. They skipped last Sunday.

Link Posted: 9/8/2010 5:32:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By stonedv8:
Originally Posted By acman145acp:
Light a smoke, call karate man ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause the final episode of True blood didn't DVR ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause i still can't afford a Harley and my gun hobby , shoot a zombie, bitch cause my lotto numbers aren't working ,shoot a zombie, bitch cause theirs never any fucking sugar sand or girls in bikinis where we hike , shoot a zombie, bitch cause they were out of multicam when i ordered my zxr and i had to settle for ACU , bitch cause all the f'n zombies are skinny bastards and the waistbelts on the kifaru don't fit and i still got no f'n multijamies


You know the final episode of True Blood is this Sunday, Sept. 12th right. They skipped last Sunday.

I was prematurely bitching.
I was wondering why the reruns haven't been the final episode

the fix
bitch cause they skipped a week of True Blood
I can always find something to bitch about between shooting zombies

I left out bitching because my "ninja phone" motorola tundra sucks ass motorola is to phones what taurus is to guns

Link Posted: 9/8/2010 5:41:30 PM EDT
Swear off the cheap bourbon while I am on painkillers.
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