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Link Posted: 5/8/2014 2:43:17 PM EDT
[#1]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Alex_F:


What's Injured Reserves?

Does the OP already have a book on Amazon for sale?
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Originally Posted By Alex_F:
Originally Posted By DesignatedMarksman:
This story is one of the best I've ever read.  I already bought Injured Reserves on Kindle and it was transcendent.



What's Injured Reserves?

Does the OP already have a book on Amazon for sale?

Yeah.. Inquiring minds want to know!
Link Posted: 5/8/2014 4:42:29 PM EDT
[#2]
Can't wait to read the description of the house,,,,castle,,,err fortress. With lil' Ms. B   h staring up at it. Brian too, will surely be awed. Please ,,,,more.
Link Posted: 5/8/2014 4:45:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#3]
2T2.Crash, AlexF, search DCBourone Injured Reserves and a big river in South America.  (Not the Orinoco. )

I want be pretty careful here.  I used to be a paid member,
and will be again.  The process at this time is cumbersome.  I do not want to violate AR15.com TOS.  If this post/reference
violates TOS moderators please remove.  Injured  is several things: 1. A war story 2. A warning 3. A mission statement 4.  
A mirror document. To a considerable extent, it was written for, and aimed at, the kind of audience it would find here.

DesignatedMarksman, massive thanks again.

Grywlf52, Green Giant, thank you.

11C-ABN said: It's extremely fascinating to see you weave Pre-American Templar and
Roman history into the story.  I would also suggest that you investigate
the first maps (Treaty Maps) that were given to the United States from
Mexico pertaining to the Treaty Of Guadalupe Hildalgo.  It would be of
importance if you wish to use the true history of the region to
investigate the migration of the (Aztec/Mayan) -This is a very loosely
used term that I'm implying - I'm saying this due to the connection your
using of the 15th century family.

You may also wish to study the Lewis Clark mission and the conspiracy associated with it?

And DCBourone says to 11C--very good eye.  Deep History is going to be a big part of this.  And the history of Texas.  The problem
for me is frankly how granular, what level of detail, will be tolerated by the modern reader.  This forum is a self-selected group of
readers within a self-selected group of ideological like-minds.  I suspect the reading comprehension here is quite/very high, not
normative.  And I am still probably pushing the limits.  There is a version of this story where I spend one hundred pages on the
Gear facility/ranch/other.  I would love to write it.  Not sure how far to push this.  The history to which you refer goes all the way
back to Babylon.  I suspect you know this.  The first dude who stacked up some rocks, figured out a calendar, and charged
people for the knowledge?  Yeah.  That guy?  Was not a nice guy.  His ideological ancestors run the show.  And they hate our guts.

I will have another section up with 24/48, probably late tonight early tomorrow morning.

Extremely grateful for the support I am seeing here.

DCBourone
Link Posted: 5/8/2014 6:32:25 PM EDT
[#4]
I know that I can't be the only one here who feels this way.  I have bought books and even a DVD movie to support ARFcommer's creative endeavors in the past.  I like this story and will gladly pay money to read it.  I feel good knowing that money went to a fellow ARFcommer and I get a cool story to read.  Don't be so apologetic about making some money from your time, effort, and talent...


Link Posted: 5/8/2014 6:39:51 PM EDT
[#5]

"Combat is the control of your adversary in the three dimensions of space, across the fourth dimension of time,”
View Quote







I googled this phrase from the second or third chapter because it's such a perfect description of battle theory, and found http://www.amazon.com/Injured-Reserves-Kindle-Single-Bourone-ebook/dp/B0097MGJ2K.




I think it's cool if I post the link, as I'm not the author, nor am I receiving anything in return for the post.  It is one of the greatest novella/short stories I've ever read, and I've already recommended it to everyone I know who reads.

 
Link Posted: 5/8/2014 7:17:25 PM EDT
[#6]
You're certainly not the first guy to post "teasers" from a future publication, OP. And even if you were, considering the caliber of your work, I'd vote to give you a pass!  

Although 100 pages on the Gehr ranch probably would be overkill, I wouldn't for a second say you're pushing the limits of our comprehension thus far. To the contrary, I find the detail, language and lessons quite refreshing - and I thank you for putting in the effort necessary to paint so complete a picture.

I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying the story. Words simply fail to convey the emotions I'm experiencing while absorbing every word, every character . . . What's sad is the tale is wholly believable. That's what makes it so compelling, but it's also why it's so disturbing. Similar, real life events are likely going on everyday in this country - and, indeed, the world.

To deny that is to deny the obvious - and your story is kind of a microcosm of the greater world/"global community" at large - as run by the tyrannical, megalomaniacs who abuse/usurp their lawful authority and seek, quite literally, to enslave us all.
Link Posted: 5/8/2014 7:27:42 PM EDT
[#7]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By redleg13a:
Love the story.  Couple of points to help.  The Army uses the M240B, not the 240G.  That's the Marines.  Also, did the female MP do two tours, one IRQ and one AFG?  You said the Muj liked to plant IED's against the Hesco's and most folks associate them with AFG rather than IRQ.  

Keep up the good work!
View Quote


Plenty of Hescos in Iraq too particularly at fob entrances and check points.
Link Posted: 5/8/2014 9:30:36 PM EDT
[#8]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Miles_Urbanus:


Plenty of Hescos in Iraq too particularly at fob entrances and check points.
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Originally Posted By Miles_Urbanus:
Originally Posted By redleg13a:
Love the story.  Couple of points to help.  The Army uses the M240B, not the 240G.  That's the Marines.  Also, did the female MP do two tours, one IRQ and one AFG?  You said the Muj liked to plant IED's against the Hesco's and most folks associate them with AFG rather than IRQ.  

Keep up the good work!


Plenty of Hescos in Iraq too particularly at fob entrances and check points.



And around very important locations like the shitters and smoke pits.

OP I'd willingly buy a kindle or hard kind book of these, even if I read it start to end here (done it multiple times so far). Hell I have an autographed copy of Lights Out that's on its third reread. Your tale is gripping and one that couple be reread over and over again if you keep this quality up.
Link Posted: 5/8/2014 11:59:50 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Miles_Urbanus] [#9]
He had served one year in Iraq with the 4th Infantry division out of Ft. Carson, Colorado, as a signal man, and spent his entire year in Iraq stringing up telephone cables which were immediately cut down by psychopathic and incomprehensible Iraquis

Iraqis

Mail box is full.
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 12:01:59 AM EDT
[#10]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DesignatedMarksman:


I googled this phrase from the second or third chapter because it's such a perfect description of battle theory, and found http://www.amazon.com/Injured-Reserves-Kindle-Single-Bourone-ebook/dp/B0097MGJ2K.

I think it's cool if I post the link, as I'm not the author, nor am I receiving anything in return for the post.  It is one of the greatest novella/short stories I've ever read, and I've already recommended it to everyone I know who reads.
 
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Originally Posted By DesignatedMarksman:
"Combat is the control of your adversary in the three dimensions of space, across the fourth dimension of time,”


I googled this phrase from the second or third chapter because it's such a perfect description of battle theory, and found http://www.amazon.com/Injured-Reserves-Kindle-Single-Bourone-ebook/dp/B0097MGJ2K.

I think it's cool if I post the link, as I'm not the author, nor am I receiving anything in return for the post.  It is one of the greatest novella/short stories I've ever read, and I've already recommended it to everyone I know who reads.
 


You get that the the author is posting this story here right? Same dude.
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 5:10:56 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#11]
Miles Urb, eyes on much appreciated.  I see movement on Injured.  Thank you.  Time is short and I will update tomorrow and

give credit where do.  An example of Deep History here.  This is a hole I could dig all the way to Hell and back.  My request for

comments/opinions is not trivial.  What kind of language/history/knowledge must survive to instruct our children? N.
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 5:37:20 AM EDT
[#12]
Awesome chapter, had to retread the first sentence though, it needs a bit of polishing to read smoothly, if you get what I mean.
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 8:29:01 AM EDT
[#13]
Against my better judgement, I am beginning to like Distrop.



Absolutely awesome story telling though!
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 10:00:59 AM EDT
[#14]
OP, thanks for the great story. I check for updates at least daily.
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 11:33:23 AM EDT
[#15]
In response to your request, one of my favorite quotes:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Robert Heinlein
View Quote
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 9:18:21 PM EDT
[#16]
Downloaded  Injured Reserves last night and just finished it.  I really enjoyed it.

Still...

I need.

More of this.

This story.

MOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRR
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 9:25:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Currently] [#17]
My observation on what is missing with today's generation is the total lack of knowledge of botany.  I grew up taking this knowledge for granted, when I moved south from the far northern reaches of CONUS, and asked questions of the plant life that surrounds me in the southeast, I am stunned at the ignorance of the people around me.  I grew up under my father teaching me what was what. What is edible and how to preserve it.  No one is interested and do not care to learn.  














We are so disconnected with nature that if the collapse of civilization occurs, the majority of humanity cannot survive.  
































May you live in interesting times.  ~ancient Chinese curse









ETA:  trimmed some off to keep the bots out ...  






 
Link Posted: 5/9/2014 11:06:32 PM EDT
[#18]


2T2Crash, much thanks as you know.  And yes first line was copy/paste error my side, fixed now

and I appreciate heads-up.



FormerGrunt94, yeah, you will like Distrop.  Distrop is a purposeful model of a pattern I will repeat

many times--tip of the spear and/or functional people in various enforcement mechanisms who have,

or develop, a conscience.  My version of optimism, if that makes any sense.



BigDam, thank you.  Have engaged in a number of relatively solitary tasks, very small peer group,

and I am surprised at the effect of regular encouragement.  Writing a story from scratch feels very

much like throwing paint on a wall.  In an abandoned house.  I check regularly for new comments, and

am cheered.



armstrong001, your Heinlein quote is most appropriate.  "Specialization is for insects."  Exactly.  And

"politicians should read more science fiction."  There have been a number of quite brilliant essays

watching the evolution in real time of Orwell's boot to the face, in other words power for the sake

of power exercised by the state, and Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, in which the population

self-inoculates/anesthetizes with drugs and entertainment, provided and encouraged by the state.

Clearly both control mechanisms are very active now.  My original intent was to write, along with a few

other things, science fiction.  You will see some of that influence soon.  But this will stay, most of

all, a survival/revenge story in pre-collapse U.S.  The next story in the same interval.  2,3,4,5, and

so one will go through the following stages of collapse.



FieldMP, much thanks.  MOAR is on the way!



ImageCurrentlyUnavailable, you will be interested in the next chapter/chapters, as we explore the Gear

facility, and come to understand what it actually is.  And that there are others like it.  The Gear

facility and those who design/maintain them have the specific intention of addressing your concerns.

Distrop and Sylvia are about to go exploring now.  Their education will be considerable.



For those of you who got Injured Reserves, I am deeply grateful.  It is not a light or particularly

accessible read.  If you are familiar with watch-making, Injured was designed as a kind of

"Grand Complication"--many overlapping functions assembled into one piece.  In light of

present events I direct you to the phrase "When the sirens sound, will our shadows be our shepherds?"

Notice that "sirens" is plural.  The shadows are the shadow men, and "the ultimate enforcers"--

let's hope they choose wisely.  There are cumulatively over a hundred such key phrases buried

in a story which is, superficially, about a man trying to save his friends who are being shot to pieces.

It will eventually be seen that The Deputy, and his friends who you

have not met yet, were associates/crew members of the guys in Injured.  Went to the same schools,

etc., etc., etc.



In general I would like to leave the comments to readers, but reading them and commenting on

occasion is turning out to assist the process of composition.



Much thanks, guys.  There will be another installment next 24/48, hopefully late tonight, early morning.
Link Posted: 5/10/2014 12:48:25 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Currently] [#19]
Just "Currently".





















My first forum I joined was an electrical forum, wanted a sobriquet that was related to the field and I kept using it.  

Plus I like living in the "now".  When I have one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow, it means I'm pissing all over today.  













Avatar is poking fun at myself ... refuse to take myself seriously.













Keep writing, will be picking up your other ebook this weekend to take my mind off this story ... Don't think I'll regret it.  







ETA: Saw you finally made Team!   Hope it was a gift from someone here, you earned it!  



 
Link Posted: 5/10/2014 9:46:38 AM EDT
[#20]
I read "Injured Reserves" last night... evoked some strong visual memories...

Link Posted: 5/10/2014 4:23:53 PM EDT
[#21]
"Gates" are an interesting side line and say much ! Can't wait to read the description of the entrance to the domain.
Link Posted: 5/10/2014 6:56:19 PM EDT
[#22]
I read "Injured Reseves".  Very enjoyable and thank you!!

Now:  I sure would like to see more of this story....
Link Posted: 5/10/2014 11:46:58 PM EDT
[#23]
I signed up just for the purpose of saying you are an extremely talented writer. After reading the other story, this one up to this point and buying and reading Injured Reserves I will buy and read anything that has your name on it.
Link Posted: 5/11/2014 12:32:45 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#24]



Someone here made me a considerable gift, anonymously, therefore with no thought to trade,


compensation, self-enrichment.  I respect anonymity, and seek the same.  However I also


keep a clean book, and attention to for lack of a better word a Karmic wheel has served me


well.  If at some point that person points in a particular direction, perhaps I can be of service,


DCB copy/over.





"Currently"--much thanks.  Your review aka. haunting and the geode reference was/were flawless.





I see another review of Injured, no way to qualify my thanks.





heron163, yep, sounds/visuals never leave, stick forever.  Also smells.  Managing various memory


triggers after the fact can be a considerable chore.  Must.  Carry.  On.





BLG yes the gates, and what they represent, are very important and will be a continuing reference


point.  As well as the ability to have any gates at all.  You are picking up the fact the the Gehr


family has made a great study of gates, of all types, and where to place them.





Mounger, much thanks.  Injured Reserves not a light read, obviously.  Soldier's Son is purposefully


more entertaining, but aiming in the same direction.  MOAR very soon, hopefully tomorrow morning.





mk62388, well, that comment is about as good as it gets.  I feel an obligation.  I honor all obligations.





For any of you who have a forensic interest in language, and I trust I am not violating TOS, a search


on my name and Amazon and "Wet or Dry" will show a free sample of text.  Free as in FREE.  It is a considerable


loss to all of us that that kind of text is no longer accessible, and probably has no market.





That text was, as fiction, going to be a view of the following:





What we are watching, in real time, in this dance of puppet leaders and puppet currencies, failed institutions,


failed language, and failing and floundering countries, is a last mad scramble to convert failed ideas and


failed models into two things: 1. Absolute power, so that those who control can keep control 2.  And property,


intellectual and actual.





In other words, the present owners are in a quite desperate scramble to own everything, as soon as possible.


Because they know with absolute certainty that the value of labor will decrease forever.  And billions of people


will have no way to participate in their new economy.  For a good image of the future, just search any modern


car factory.  You could start with BMW, or Tesla, really doesn't matter.  Not a lot of people there.  Quite a few


machines.  Properly assume that the owners of everything have a solution for the rest of us, and it won't be


pretty.





The Deputy's family, the Gehrs, have a quite different version of the future, and will be worthy antagonists.





I am running a bit behind, was hoping to have another block of text up tonight.  I am trying to place these


text chunks, and write them, so that they have minor resolutions within themselves, stories with minor notes


in a larger symphony.  If I just get too fucking slow, I will just put up whatever I have every three days.





Believe me, the support here is very...meaningful.





DCBourone

 
Link Posted: 5/11/2014 3:27:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#25]
Lot of detail here.  This is how I would like to tell this story.  If I stray off the path, tell me.
No joke folks.  Simple economics.  Without an audience I have to write something else.
Zombie porn.  Or just porn.  That would be sub-optimal, right? N.

--TEXT REMOVED 010219 .RE EPUB TOS.
Link Posted: 5/11/2014 4:16:24 AM EDT
[#26]
I do believe the Gehrs are going to have themselves another loyal soldier in their ranks.
Link Posted: 5/11/2014 4:57:12 AM EDT
[#27]
Such superb detail.  I really like where this is heading.
Link Posted: 5/11/2014 4:58:37 AM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 45ProCarry:
Such superb detail.  I really like where this is heading.
View Quote

Fuck yeah! Most books I can tear through... Not this story, it forces me to slow down, absorb and then appreciate the details. I'm hooked.
Link Posted: 5/11/2014 9:53:11 PM EDT
[#29]
I really like where this going OP. I would rank this story right up there with Lights Out, One Second After, and The Distance series.
Link Posted: 5/12/2014 3:14:57 AM EDT
[#30]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 2T2_Crash:

Fuck yeah! Most books I can tear through... Not this story, it forces me to slow down, absorb and then appreciate the details. I'm hooked.
View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 2T2_Crash:
Originally Posted By 45ProCarry:
Such superb detail.  I really like where this is heading.

Fuck yeah! Most books I can tear through... Not this story, it forces me to slow down, absorb and then appreciate the details. I'm hooked.


They said it for me.  Thanks guys!

Thank you sir for the most excellent installment!
Link Posted: 5/12/2014 7:07:06 AM EDT
[#31]
Another great setup.  Like above.  I am finding myself slowing down on my reading and thoroughly picturing the details.
Link Posted: 5/12/2014 1:06:41 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11C_ABN] [#32]
My apologies for not saying anything earlier' but I'm hoping that you would request some assistance from the members here whom maybe and/or may know of some accomplished publishers?

I'm unsure if that is the correct term from whom you would be seeking to assist in breaking out into the new media?

It's easy for myself to think that your in a class of break-out writers such as Tom Clancy did in the 1980's your style is new to me and refreshing and what I've been missing!  

You've seem frustrated as to how in-depth you wish to write your sagas' one could think WEB Griffen type series but with Tom Clancy depth and just a better all around fluidity for this generation.

I would propose for your kindle series that you have stages of depth?  The vernacular you use to market it would be best left to you and your marketing team.

The book could have the main story with added accoutrements, like a fine steak house you add side dishes to the main course.  These items our an added cost but bring the dinning experience to a whole new level.

The Graft farm / compound would be a side dish and/or the fine wine you add to the main course that just adds to the enrichment of the meal!

Please continue and "Damn I'm having fun reading this series!!!
Link Posted: 5/12/2014 2:49:09 PM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DesignatedMarksman:


I googled this phrase from the second or third chapter because it's such a perfect description of battle theory, and found http://www.amazon.com/Injured-Reserves-Kindle-Single-Bourone-ebook/dp/B0097MGJ2K.

I think it's cool if I post the link, as I'm not the author, nor am I receiving anything in return for the post.  It is one of the greatest novella/short stories I've ever read, and I've already recommended it to everyone I know who reads.
 
View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DesignatedMarksman:
"Combat is the control of your adversary in the three dimensions of space, across the fourth dimension of time,”


I googled this phrase from the second or third chapter because it's such a perfect description of battle theory, and found http://www.amazon.com/Injured-Reserves-Kindle-Single-Bourone-ebook/dp/B0097MGJ2K.

I think it's cool if I post the link, as I'm not the author, nor am I receiving anything in return for the post.  It is one of the greatest novella/short stories I've ever read, and I've already recommended it to everyone I know who reads.
 


Bought.

I'm looking forward to reading that story tonight.

As an aside, I think the OP should post up his 100 page Gear ranch treatise HERE for us to read, if it will otherwise never see publication.

Backstory, man, backstory.

Link Posted: 5/12/2014 8:55:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#34]
2T2--as you have pointed out, Brian Distrop is our window into a developing conscience.  Absent which, I am afraid,

we are considerably fucked.

45Pro--much thanks.  The issue of how much, and what level, of detail is appropriate will be an ongoing concern,

and addressed at some length deeper into this post.

beakerello, much thanks.  A number of excellent stories started out as "I've gotta write this down" impulses.

Mounger, thanks dude, appreciate you sticking with this.  Comments here are a big boost.

grywlf52, slowing down to pick up the details, we will discuss if this is 'good' or 'bad' very soon.  And thank you.

11C_ABN said the following, I will condense a bit, apologies to 11C: "--request some assistance from the members here whom maybe and/or
may know of some accomplished publishers?
--breaking out into the new media?   --break-out
writers such as Tom Clancy did in the 1980's your style is new to me and
refreshing and what I've been missing!

--You've seem frustrated as to how in-depth you wish to write your
sagas' one could think WEB Griffen type series but with Tom Clancy depth
and just a better all around fluidity for this generation.
(AND THIS IS MAXIMUM SHARP, 11C, SEE MORE LATER) I would propose for your kindle series that you have stages of
depth?  The vernacular you use to market it would be best left to you
and your marketing team.
---main story with added accoutrements, like a
fine steak house you add side dishes to the main course.  These items
our an added cost but bring the dinning experience to a whole new level.
---The Graft farm / compound would be a side dish and/or the fine wine
you add to the main course that just adds to the enrichment of the meal!

Please continue and "Damn I'm having fun reading this series!!!

OK, 11C and all, thanks.  Addressing all your points, and many of those implied, suggested, and solved, by 11C:

Legacy publishing contracts were a kind of slavery.  6-10 percent of gross paid EVERY SIX MONTHS, lifetime loss of copyright, etc, etc.

Designated Marksman, you have studied deeply in this space, and understand my concerns.

I would very much like to write the 1000 page version of this story. 11C, your comment about

"levels" is brilliant, and I have studied with some considerable interest the idea of "Soldier's Son, Fast and Simple and Cheap"

and "Soldier's Son 2, Deep and Long and Complex"--and given the advantages of digital media this may well occur.  Good fucking

call, dude.

First of all, thanks, guys.

Second, back to work.

There should be another installment next 24/48.

Let's go visit the Gears, and find out exactly what, and who, they are hiding.

DCB
Link Posted: 5/12/2014 9:04:37 PM EDT
[#35]
Taking names and kicking butt!  



Now go write another chapter before you get a mutiny on your hands!  
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 12:16:06 AM EDT
[Last Edit: HBruns] [#36]
I am liking this.
A lot.


Thank you.










ETA:
Originally Posted By DCBourone:
...
...  His referral resulted in now 20 sales of an obscure, dense, and essentially not describable chunk of prose. ...
View Quote

21
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 1:50:42 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#37]
I see the watchers, watching.  Some friends. Others, not so much.

HUGE PROPS to 2T2_Crash for edits, corrected, I hope.  Thanks

--TEXT REMOVED 010219 .RE EPUB TOS--
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 2:34:05 AM EDT
[#38]
The stark contrast between Brian's observations of the room and Sylvia's is very obvious and a great window to each character's persona, bravo.

Noted errors to help yah out:

"For the first time in this new experience, in this strange place?
Sylvia C. Meyer felt real fear." Makes it tough to read, breaks up the moment



"Why does you face look like that"
Correct to your

And Lou's response is classic, I can't wait for the tantrum likely to follow.
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 7:34:23 AM EDT
[#39]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 2T2_Crash:
The stark contrast between Brian's observations of the room and Sylvia's is very obvious and a great window to each character's persona, bravo.

And Lou's response is classic, I can't wait for the tantrum likely to follow.
View Quote


This

Baited and waiting
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 9:05:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: The_Rock] [#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DCBourone:
...
...  His referral resulted in now 20 sales of an obscure, dense, and essentially not describable chunk of prose. ...
View Quote


I'm one of those. I read it in a few hours last Thursday evening and it was pretty good, even if very non-traditional in form, which to my engineer's soul, grated on me. However, I know I'm an outlier there.

I'm checking the forum every night and morning for updates on this story and your other one in the same universe. Very good and I would encourage you to think about putting them onto kindle in complete form.

TR
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 10:47:26 AM EDT
[#41]


2T2, grywlf, thank you.



The_Rock, .re non-traditional etc., no harm no foul.  

Because you are entirely correct.

Injured Reserves is a very strange chunk of text.

Amongst many other things, it is modeled on Norse/Skandic/Icelandic story-telling.  The war stories

the old beard Vikings told youngsters around the fire, to guide their future as war-fighters.



For those of you who have made it this far, assuming things go some version of 'well'--Injured Reserves

was written by The Deputy's mentor/trainer, Billy Spears.  Billy Gear, The Soldier's Son, was named

after him.  As a moral statement and guide to behavior Injured Reserves will eventually be a

cited text.



Likely everyone here can see why I am concerned about going off the rails, being too obscure, long,

for lack of a better word: windy.



There is a short punchy shoot-em-up version of this story, and there is a Gone With the Wind version.



My inclination is of course to write the Gone With the Wind version.



That is pretty much what you are seeing now.



But if it is too obscure/weird?



That would be double-plus ungood.



More tonight.
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 12:17:07 PM EDT
[#42]
Stop worrying about going off the rails and blow in the wind.  The obscure specifics make the mundane details interesting and give insight to aspects I would've glossed over.

This story is refreshing in this space that's littered with post-apocalyptic wet dreams.  Please don't change a thing.
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 1:37:37 PM EDT
[#43]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By FIELD_MP:
Stop worrying about going off the rails and blow in the wind.  The obscure specifics make the mundane details interesting and give insight to aspects I would've glossed over.
...
View Quote

The obscure also whets the appetite for a little research, offering an opportunity to learn.


Right now I am curious about the pattern of holes in the "private" gate. Stars were mentioned. I wonder if Orion (the hunter) is involved.
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 2:21:52 PM EDT
[#44]
Just clicked on this curiously this morning while taking a break.

I have gotten NO WORK done since.  Dang it.

And thank you.  Please, continue.
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 3:20:35 PM EDT
[#45]
Half way in. My only criticism is the print is too big and looking at what I have left to read I wish it was longer!
Link Posted: 5/13/2014 11:48:13 PM EDT
[#46]
Fantastic story! I check for updates several times a day. If this story was published I would buy it in a heartbeat ( even if I had already read it online).
Link Posted: 5/14/2014 1:15:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Mounger] [#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By FIELD_MP:
Stop worrying about going off the rails and blow in the wind.  The obscure specifics make the mundane details interesting and give insight to aspects I would've glossed over.

This story is refreshing in this space that's littered with post-apocalyptic wet dreams.  Please don't change a thing.
View Quote


This!

I hate to admit it but I think a lot of Injured Reserves was above my intellect.  But still I enjoyed it immensely.

Your style of writing is much like an interesting accent to me.  Even when I found myself not sure of what you were saying, I was still enjoying how you were saying it.

This book:  Please don't change a thing!!  Except maybe write faster?
Link Posted: 5/14/2014 3:50:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#48]
--like minds reference--

--TEXT REMOVED O10219 .RE EPUB TOS--
Link Posted: 5/14/2014 7:25:11 AM EDT
[#49]
Edit- the only one I could find.

drop an "s" in gas - Meyer finally ran out of gass.


Though the movie sentence with the "and" and commas has me a little off.  I can't rmemeber my grammar well enough to know if both are appropriate or go with the standard comma sepration until the last and then put "and" without a comma.

With her tantrum, maybe give a little more of her facial characteristics, flush, red faced and angry.


Another great portion to read.

Link Posted: 5/14/2014 7:40:54 AM EDT
[#50]
Poor Sylvia!

It must be tough to think yourself so smart, so wily - only to (soon) discover you never had a clue.

Her cocky, authoritarian-smugness illustrates perfectly the disconnect between Ivy Leaguers and beltway types and the rest of the nation: "flyover country" if you will - the real heartbeat of the US. People who've never created anything in their lives have no frame of reference with which to evaluate the results of an inspired, enterprising, free man's/family's labor in any meaningful or useful context.

Concepts and traits such as hard work & loving what you do (and who you are), possession of an intense pride of personal/familial heritage and history . . . (sigh)

She may as well have suddenly found herself on Mars.

If she weren't such a self-righteous bitch, I could almost feel sorry for her.

Almost.  
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