DCBourone "A Post-Apocalyptic Story"--"The Soldier's Son" Published/Available Jan. 17 (Page 2 of 89)
I've been "reading 'tween the lines" all along, bro! 
I definitely like where you're going with this. Again, though, despite the fact this story is probably more (pre)fact than fiction. PM sent, btw. |
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity" --- Sigmond Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis
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Since your IM Box is full, I'll just post my message:
Hey bro. As you know, I'm loving the story. You have the gift. That's just a fact! One thing I thought I'd mention (and forgive me if you've already considered it) is whether (or not) this "Human Rights" Attorney or, even the cartels (Mexican military?), will have access to drone assets - and, if so, how will the boy deal with that. (?) Not so long ago, if anyone had mentioned techniques for defeating such surveillance, I'd have called him/her out publicly for their foolishness. Now, not so much. Here, in the rolling hills and heavy woods of PA, it's not unthinkable. In the wide open spaces of Texas . . . the importance of ruse, deception and distraction takes on extra special significance, I'd think. The danger of his comms being monitored is something else to be addressed and your description of his equipment surprised me. Might he surreptitiously use his open comms to set up his enemies - and/or, use digital HAM packets (or satellites) to inform/direct his allies? Eh. Just a thought I had . . . Regardless, you've sure got me hooked. I really think you're onto something with the plot and (sadly) its wholly-believable scenario. I just hope that when your story becomes reality (if it hasn't already), there are enough rough & ready men w/guns (and necessary skills & beliefs) to stand in the way of total tyranny! I'm convinced we're about to find out - certainly, in the next few years (although, I suspect it'll be sooner). Lord knows, I wish I felt otherwise, but I've become pretty cynical and pessimistic these last few years. There comes a time when a man must accept/acknowledge what he'd tried so hard to deny/ignore; the evidence of deceit, conspiracy & corruption finally becoming overwhelming and unavoidable. I've tried to sound the alarm as best I'm able - w/o crossing that fine line (and not seeing boogie-men behind every corner, either!). Contrarily, your story gives you an opportunity to explore situations and solutions which would never be able to openly discussed on a public forum like arfcom otherwise and I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it. After all, there's nothing wrong with getting a bit of inspiration from one's entertainment - aye?
Please, keep up the good work! And my sincerest congratulations on what you've achieved thus far. I think your fan-base is about to grow exponentially! F11B |
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity" --- Sigmond Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis
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My thoughts have (unfortunately) run along similar lines of F11B's post. And the story line is very good, shows how a young man can "ruck up" so to speak, when he seriously needs to. Hope this country has some of his ilk when its needed. Hopefully won't be but I don't have much of that at this point, you know how snowballs are.
[ Please,,,more] |
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2T2_Crash, 45Pro, DanaHillen, BLG, 11Bravo--thank you sirs. On another tangent, a very very close read of all this when it is done might find some errors. And my reply might be, sometimes it is not wise to be entirely accurate. My real interest is the 'social engineering,' good and bad, pro and con, the behavior, then, of good people, and bad people, and most people, who are just 'in between'-- |
To the everlasting glory of the Infantry...
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I just finished catching up. Great story so far DCBourone, thanks for posting it. I look forward to its continuation. A quick question. You referenced a man in a truck that was a friend of "The Deputy" from another story that you have written. Is that story posted on ARFcom as well? |
“I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents.”
- James Madison
- James Madison
Every chapter posted ends in an attention gripping cliff hanger. 
I noticed three misspellings, but I can't remember em all 
At just about the bottom, Gear spelled Gher "Old man Gher" might be intentional though. |
R.I.P. Curtis Eccleston, Feb 6 2011
Proud Member Of Team Ranstad
Proud Member Of Team Ranstad
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If it wasn't any good, I'd ignore it ... This is riveting material that keeps me checking it out daily. OTOH, I keep restraining the urge to ask you to hurry up ... Keep reminding myself good things take time. You seriously may want to consider this for a living if you have the self discipline to maintain writing every day. |
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Dude . . . what I wouldn't give to have your imagination and way with words!
I could see every image and scene you portrayed in my mind's eye with crystal clarity. It was absolutely sublime. Except . . . that it didn't go on and on and on!
You know I'll be buying the finished product! I just hope you decide to print some and I can get a signed copy! Yeah, seriously. It's that good! |
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity" --- Sigmond Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis
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Love the story. Couple of points to help. The Army uses the M240B, not the 240G. That's the Marines. Also, did the female MP do two tours, one IRQ and one AFG? You said the Muj liked to plant IED's against the Hesco's and most folks associate them with AFG rather than IRQ.
Keep up the good work!
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The value of Freedom is not realized until it is lost
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Wasn't critiquing the spelling OP, I think I speak for all of us reading that it's actually a pleasure to be able to help by finding things, you are entertaining us with a great tale, and if we can catch the few details it's a small way for us to give back.
You have a talent for putting the image in the reader's head to view while reding along and I hope you get published. Keep up the great writing! |
R.I.P. Curtis Eccleston, Feb 6 2011
Proud Member Of Team Ranstad
Proud Member Of Team Ranstad
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2T2, no harm no foul I'm pretty much Oddball/Kelly's Heroes, and I'm only catching positive waves, you dig?
Some wise man here will catch me in a massive error which will need fixing, and I will be grateful. Redleg, if you see this, go up a few posts .re 240Golf/Hescos/etc. Good info/advice and thank you. --TEXT REMOVED 010219 .RE EPUB TOS-- |
| Ms. Velasquez is intriguing. Brian may have just figured out "right from wrong" in the world, and certainly in the scheme of things as they stand now. Ms B----h as I prefer to call her is about to get a " SURPRISE" as they say.(chuckle, chuckle). Press on you've got me. What a movie this would make. Course the lib's in Hollywood would turn this all backwards,I'm sure. |
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Originally Posted By DCBourone: Greyguy, if you see this, the other story is here: http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_10_20/673482_The_Soldier_s_Son__different_story__which_to_do_first___Comments_welcome_.html Cool, found it and read it. I think that alternating chapters, or sections within chapters would work for the characters' stories. Unless of course you wanted to let their plot lines unfold in two (or more) separate books and then eventually merge them... Either way another BIG thanks for posting these here for our entertainment. I am hooked... |
“I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents.”
- James Madison
- James Madison
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Originally Posted By FIELD_MP:
I'm hooked. Reading between the lines is making my eyes hurt, but I need more. Me too! Hell . . . it's been damn near 36 hours since the last chapter! What's the hold up? 
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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity" --- Sigmond Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis
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45Pro, lot's of hope for Brian. For Sylvia, hmmm. Not so much. CMalone--yep, Brian will make some good choices. RevolverRO, --TEXT REMOVED 010219 .RE EPUB TOS-- This is a place where we kill dragons, the second sculpture said. Brian Distrop couldn't wait to see what happened next. |
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This story has me hooked! Please, when you get around to publishing this consider releasing it to more than just the Kindle. I like my Nook much better than the Kindle and I would love to read your works there. I don't care if you have to wait to release it for the Nook, I would still get a copy when it does come out for the Nook. Until then,...... MOAR!!!!! Please! Thanks for your hard work. |
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It's extremely fascinating to see you weave Pre-American Templar and Roman history into the story. I would also suggest that you investigate the first maps (Treaty Maps) that were given to the United States from Mexico pertaining to the Treaty Of Guadalupe Hildalgo. It would be of importance if you wish to use the true history of the region to investigate the migration of the (Aztec/Mayan) -This is a very loosely used term that I'm implying - I'm saying this due to the connection your using of the 15th century family.
You may also wish to study the Lewis Clark mission and the conspiracy associated with it? |
To the everlasting glory of the Infantry...
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EE: 100% (1)
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Originally Posted By DesignatedMarksman:
This story is one of the best I've ever read. I already bought Injured Reserves on Kindle and it was transcendent. What's Injured Reserves? Does the OP already have a book on Amazon for sale? |
We don't come alone; we are fire, we are stone.