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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 2/7/2006 5:19:01 AM EDT
this year last night with his pickup again. He hit a small doe a couple of months ago and hit a big one last night coming back from coyote hunting. It didn't hurt the truck but he does have hair wedged in between the tire and rim on one side of his truck. The bumber is shoved up against the hood latch so we'll have to loosen and rotate his bumber down this afternoon.
My son and I are both women magnets but his truck is definitely a deer magnet!

Link Posted: 2/7/2006 5:45:35 AM EDT
The 2nd deer I bagged was about 4 yrs older than me....about 3 inches shorter and 30 pounds lighter with long blond hair n blue eyes.....she was a nice one to mount!!
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 6:59:05 AM EDT
Rat, what did she charge for the "mount"?
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 12:06:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By RatTerrier:
The 2nd deer I bagged was about 4 yrs older than me....about 3 inches shorter and 30 pounds lighter with long blond hair n blue eyes.....she was a nice one to mount!!



Don't you weigh like 320? That's bad dude!
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 12:08:05 PM EDT
Not even half that Pat...nice try though! hahahahha
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 1:40:50 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/7/2006 1:41:23 PM EDT by Ndenway]

Originally Posted By RatTerrier:
The 2nd deer I bagged was about 4 yrs older than me....about 3 inches shorter and 30 pounds lighter with long blond hair n blue eyes.....she was a nice one to mount!!





holy shit, speaking of anorexia...............that'd make her weigh bout 50lbs wouldn't it?
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 2:46:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Ndenway:

Originally Posted By RatTerrier:
The 2nd deer I bagged was about 4 yrs older than me....about 3 inches shorter and 30 pounds lighter with long blond hair n blue eyes.....she was a nice one to mount!!





holy shit, speaking of anorexia...............that'd make her weigh bout 50lbs wouldn't it?



No doubt man if he's picking up chicks 30 pnds lighter than him he must be hanging around an
elementary school

Link Posted: 2/7/2006 3:03:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By acman145acp:

Originally Posted By Ndenway:

Originally Posted By RatTerrier:
The 2nd deer I bagged was about 40 yrs older than me....about 3 inches shorter and 30 pounds lighter with long blond hair n blue eyes.....she was a nice one to mount!!





holy shit, speaking of anorexia...............that'd make her weigh bout 50lbs wouldn't it?



No doubt man if he's picking up chicks 30 pnds lighter than him he must be hanging around an
elementary school


I was thinking nursing home, with possible dementia.
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 3:05:14 PM EDT
DOWN AT TH E RETIREMENT CENTER

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have the sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 3:19:30 PM EDT
This guy drives buy the retirement home..... and their are four elderly women all laying out in the nude......... He thinks man thats strange.... he runs his erands and comes back by the ladys are still outside nude.......... he thinks i better go tell somebody so he pulls in and go's to the office.....
go's in to the administrators office and says " hey man did you know theirs 4 women outside laying out in the nude"...... director says "yea"......... guy says what kind of place you running.... director says "well you see all our residents are retired prostitutes and their having a yard sale"
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 3:36:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/7/2006 4:14:57 PM EDT by Ndenway]
whats the difference between an old whore and a new whore?

new whore uses astroglide and the old whore uses polygrip.

Duke and Edna's kids put them in a nursing home, but Dukes always sneaking out to the bar, well one night Duke came back to the home drunk as hell, climbed into bed, slapped Edna on the ass then passed out, somewhere toward morning Duke wakes and sees a man with a long white beard and robe standing at the foot of the bed,

Duke says "who the hell are you and what are you doing in our bedroom?"

the man replied " I'm St. Peter"

and Duke asked "You mean I'm dead?, I can't be dead I'm only 70 years old, I still have so much to do and live for, I havn't even said goodby to my family, you've got to send my back"

So St. Pete ponders this for a moment and replies " Yes, I think you might be right, so I'm going to have you reincarnated, but theres one catch, your bodies been cremated already so I can only send you back as a dog or a chicken"

So Duke thinks about this and says "send me back as a chicken, theres a farm right next door to the home, besides they don't let animals inside, so as a chicken my wife can come feed me bread everyday through the fence."

At that moment St. Pete snaps his fingers and a bright light flashed, and Duke awakens covered in feathers clucking and pecking corn from the ground, he looks around and says "shit I'm a hen", bout then some other chickens stroll over and ask "so your the new hen, how are you liking your first day here?"

Duke replies " its alright, but I got this pressing feeling in my guts, makes me feel like I'm going to explode."

other Chicken says " Your ovulating, don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?, just squat and push and it'll come out"

So Duke does what the other chicken told him to and a few very uncomfortable moments later an egg pops out onto the ground, the feeling of relief was so phenominal that he thought that he would lay another egg, so he did, the feeling was immensely gratifying, so he pushed again and another egg came out, it was the best feeling he had ever felt........ever, even from when he was human,

the joy kept coming and coming, just when he was about to lay his fith egg he feels an enormous whack on the back of his head and everything goes black then a blinding white light flashes in his eyes and he hears his wifes voice screaming, "Duke! wake up you drunken sonofabitch!, your shitting the bed again!"
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:02:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Ndenway: "Duke! wake up you drunken sonofabitch!, your shitting the bed again!"


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