Posted: 8/13/2006 12:40:07 PM EDT
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I need some serious advice on what I should do in the present situation. I met a girl on myspace.com a week or so ago and we've met in person. She's not the most beautiful girl ever nor the ugliest but she very very sweet. We seemed to hit it off right away. We went to the movies and out to eat the first date and the second time I got to see her we did much of nothing. She lives in another town so I don't get to see her often. Plus she works at night and I work during the day. I talk to her at least twice a day also. That was the backdrop. Now comes the events that really pissed me off. When I talked to her Friday night she seemed to cut our phone conversation very short and that made me suspicious. Then she said she had some plans on the day we were supposed to hang out and she was acting weird about telling me what she had planned and never told me what she was doing. I wasn't very demanding and trying to control her just so you know. All I did was casually ask her. On her myspace profile page I used to be number 2 on her top friends list.Either Friday or Saturday she took me off the top friends list. On top of that she posted a bulletin on myspace saying she loved her ex-boyfriend. That really upset me so I tried to call her and got no answer. When she finally called back I talked to her and told her how I felt. She said she had no feelings for her ex. If I had posted a bulletin saying I loved someone else she would be jealous and angry. I asked her if we could just take a break and think about things and she said yes. Now we are just talking and I doubt I will visit her until she lets me know if she wants to continue dating. I like her,not LOVE her, and I want to continue seeing her but I don't know if I should trust her with her being out of town and still loving her boyfriend. She's my first serious girlfriend and I don't know how this relationship thing is supposed to go. I know this a long story and will most likely bore the hell out of everybody that reads it but what do you think I should do? Any SERIOUS advice would be appreciated. Thanks! |
I know we're going way too fast for how long we've met and that's why we're taking a break now. |
| Seems that things went too fast and it pushed her to her ex! Trust me, she's not over her ex and won't be for sometime now! I did this same thing to one girl I dated, she got real close real fast and it pushed me to my ex because I wasn't ready to let go and move on! |
| Emotions are a bitch. But remember that it's called dateing. It seemly means to go out with various people to find someone that your more compatable with. You should see other peole and don't get parilzed by the PIE. We are all PIE lovers here but PIE has ruined many a good men. It has brought Kingdoms to WAR ...... Has driven many insane. Honestly... she is acting like she wants to back off from you. If you over act to quickly you will scare girls off. Just like fishing for b ass . If you try to set the hook to quickly you will reel in an empty line. Let them get the Hook in there mouth and run alittle with it then set the hook. ... LOL... Head up my commrad, go get some more different kinds of fish. WarDawg |
You can say that again and here's proofwww.plentyoffish.com TD |
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BTDT, I went through the dating BS after my divorce, went out with a lot girls and had a few girl friends in that time. It took 4 years before I met my current wife. Do your self a big favor make sure you both have some of the same intrests. The others here are right, there are a lot more out there. FWIW, Chris |
It's no problem letting her go but it's finding another one that's decent enough. I'll admit that I'm not very attractive and most of the girls around here are very shallow. They don't care if you're the nicest guy in the world the girls I've asked out always judge me on my looks alone. Those kind of girls know they are beautiful and excuse my language but they get the guy that treats like shit while ignoring a good guy who will treat them like good.
Amen brother!!! "She sounds iffy, not saying that girls aren't. First you might want someone on a more available schedule. Second she probably posted those things on myspace to send you a few hints knowing you would read it. Third don't worry more than not they come to you. Don't be to nice but don't be an ass thats the best advice I can give besides be yourself. I hope you find what your looking for. Need to talk send me and IM I give you any advice I have." Thanks for the advice and I might just take you up on advice sometime. Know anybody around the Washington county area or surrounding counties that's single? I doubt you will unless you live close to the area. What would be the best way to dump the girl without wasting my gas and driving out of town just to tell her face to face? |
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She sounds iffy, not saying that girls aren't. First you might want someone on a more available schedule. Second she probably posted those things on myspace to send you a few hints knowing you would read it. Third don't worry more than not they come to you. Don't be to nice but don't be an ass thats the best advice I can give besides be yourself. I hope you find what your looking for. Need to talk send me and IM I give you any advice I have. Dmgangl. |
Thanks for the advice and I might just take you up on advice sometime. Know anybody around the Washington county area or surrounding counties that's single? I doubt you will unless you live close to the area. What would be the best way to dump the girl without wasting my gas and driving out of town just to tell her face to face? |
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Let her go, I was in a similar situation years ago, I stuck around after she seemed to "get cold" to me. Didn't want to hold hands anymore, stuff like that. In a weeks time she slept over at the ex-boyfriends house. Told me nothing happened, yea right. All you'll get is a kick in the gut. Good luck. Just remember, don't be intimidated by the hot looking chics, most guys are and they are asked out less than average looking girls from what I've heard. |
The best way is to be straight forward. Don't beat around the bush, and don't lie or make exscuses(sp?). Just tell her, with living so far away, being on opposit schedules, and she has been acting strange and you don't have time for games. whether to call or do it face to face, depends on what you think she deserves. Driving out shows you put something in to doing the right thing, calling can show weakness. But since you do live so far away call her and give her the option. Tell her you wanna talk its important do you want to do it over the phone or either of you can drive to see the other. Another thing, is what your gonna say if its just I don't want to see you anymore just call no point it driving for a 2 second conversation. But if your gonna talk to her longer than the drive I would go. I hope this helps DMgangl |
Thanks for the help. I'll call her or message her and ask her that. Most likely I will not have much to say to her unless she wants to talk more. I hate to drive all the way up there like you said but I might drive up there to talk and then get some stuff done in town that I need done,without her of course. I burn a 1/4 tank of gas going up there and home. I think she deserves a breakup over the phone for the way she's been acting but I want to be nice about it. |
You may also want to realize that some people’s idea of dating is that having multiple dates with different people is fine. I don't subscribe to that train of thought but you will most likely run into some women who do. After only a week you can't be serious enough with someone to be anything more than just dating at that point. I know from earlier posts you don't have the most experience and with that people tend to jump into things too fast. I had this problem too, so you’re not the only one. Just try to stay reserved with your feelings for a while and don't be so eager to be with someone that you seem at all desperate. With all of that it still sounds like you need to move on from this girl but you may want to consider how you may look to her too. It usually goes both ways, you just will not figure out the ways of women anywhere near as easily as you should.  |
Yeah you got to be careful who you meet on myspace. Good thing the girl's not a psycho axe murderer or you might hear from me again.That's why I never told her my address or let her visit me  Excuse my ignorance but what does "Draw down" mean? I'm still fairly new to the phrases around here. |
| She got dumped by her previous boyfriend, wants him back, and is still having sex with him when he wants it. You were an interesting diversion for a few days, wanted the relationship to bloom rapidly, but she was not looking for anything like that. Now you're trying to figure out why this girl isn't looking at you while she's still staring at someone else. |
It's a classic arfcom slang they use exclusively on General Discussion aka Arfkom BS what "draw down" is... |
I don't know about all the above but it's close. I was desperate and didn't know how the relationship was supposed to work. I forgot to mention something odd she said on our first date. At the end of the night she asked me if our date meant we were serious about going out. If that was a clue it went way over my head. I am really naive.  I don't care what she does anymore. I'm going to tell her I can't put up with her immature ways anymore and tell her goodbye. |
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Dude, you said in your original post that she's your first serious girlfriend. You also said you met her a week ago. Those two facts are contrary to each other. You don't have a serious girlfriend if you've only been together a week. You have a girlfriend maybe. You probably only have a dating relationship. Either way, you're farther along in the deal inside your own head than in real life. Straighten that shit out, because it doesn't matter if it's this girl or another; if you do that to any woman, you will ruin things fast-like. Women don't tend to move quickly into anything serious. If it's fast, it's probably not serious to her. Keep that in mind for all dealings with women. |
Oh, you want help.........Well, silly me. I thought you were looking for attention! You have known this girl for a less than a month and now that she is going / has gone back to her x-boyfriend you have your panties (yes, I do mean panties) in a wad. You didn't even get to dip your pole in her honey pot, so I can't understand what the problem is........ Unless, you are just pissed that she is giving it up to everybody but YOU! Hell, if that's the problem then by all means go get laid (you are 18, so you need to get past this virgin thing), but don't come crying in here because little girl doesn't like you. Now, call me when you are getting your first divorce. Until then, move on to the next myspace "relationship"! Insensitive (at the moment), Accountant ETA: Mrs. Accountant said I was wrong to call her a ho. She said you just need to get laid and quit being a whiny virgin! |
Yeah I know I'm moving fast. Like I said before I was desperate and didn't know what to do. I will definitely not make that mistake again. I'm going to straighten it out. I'm going to tell her it's over tonight if she calls which I seriously doubt she will. 
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Silly man! Good thing thing I'm over her and can laugh about it now. I'll try to stick to local hos from now on!
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Footrat has hit the nail on the head! |
All right all right I get the idea. I messed up! Are you my parents or something!?
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