In truth, a compact .45 is no marshmellow. The larger/heavier the pistol the more friendly to shoot, so I can understand some hesitation on the part of those you spoke to. Of course, those with practical experience with large caliber weapons don't exactly have a hell of a time making a transition from "service grade" to CCW/compact. I carried a P14 and dropped down to an officer's-sized 1911. That was significant, but I got used to it soon enough. Now I carry a 4" Wilson Combat.
If you are unwilling to put in the practice time or somehow unable to place with a .45 then it makes sense to scale down on a compact. If on the other hand you can place properly with .45 .40 9mm, etc, then the .45 is a no-brainer. Particularly so in CA where the the capacity of the 9mm has been neutered thus completely defeating the utility of a 9mm (except in a super subcompact for ultra deep ccw).