little background first:

theres a brand new bar that just opened down the road from my house.  the folks that opened it have thus lost all the friends they THOUGHT they had in the methodist church but that's besides the point.  they know nothing about running a bar and we're trying to persuade them into doing it like it should be done.
we just introduced a new barmaid to them and we designated today to be the day we filled the joint and showed them how our ideas could and would work.

so:

called a buddy of mine, told him that as a personal favor (the only one i have ever asked of him) i needed him to come out to the bar, bring as many people as he could, didn't have to stay long, just make an appearance to up the headcount and beercount.
he told me there was no way he could make it, that he was flat broke.  i then told him that wasn't a problem, the owners know me, drink YOUR beer on MY tab.  so he says no problem, he'd make it there.

when he's a no-show i call his phone and it goes straight to voicemail.  he screens his calls, i know this, seen him do it.  and i'm pissed but hey, he could be at home asleep for all i know.  this is at 8:00.  never shows, never calls.  at 11:00 i go and track his ass down.  he's at another friend of mines house.

now, lets keep in mind that i have bent over backwards for this motherfucker.  i have let him use my trailer numerous times, have let him use my welding machine numerous times, have given him free propane and let him borrow torches and shit, just last week let him borrow my credit card to pay off a past due bill because he doesn't have one, he CURRENTLY has my BBQ pit, i even rewired the motherfuckers girlfriends car and so far as i can remember, i have NEVER asked him for a favor until now and he fucks me.

so i ask arfcom:

what the fuck shall i do in this situation?  he shows up at my shop about twice a week.  my current plan of action is to completely ignore him and then when he asks what the fuck my problem is simply tell him that i don't need any fake friends so until he does something fucking spectactular to count himself out......................what says arfcom?

Quoted: now, lets keep in mind that i have bent over backwards for this motherfucker.  i have let him use my trailer numerous times, have let him use my welding machine numerous times, have given him free propane and let him borrow torches and shit, just last week let him borrow my credit card to pay off a past due bill because he doesn't have one, he CURRENTLY has my BBQ pit, i even rewired the motherfuckers girlfriends car and so far as i can remember, i have NEVER asked him for a favor until now and he fucks me.

Tex, it already sounds like you did too much for him.

Seriously, is he using you?

I would make it known that you're pissed as hell.

Personally, I have ZERO use for unrealiable friends.


If he'd just told you to fuck off up front, that's fine - but to say that he'll show and then not bother.  That would piss me off too.

That right there should tell you that his favor access is all closed off now.

You say he comes into your business 2 times a week or so.  The next visit confront him, let him lie (which it sounds like he will do), and then confront him with the truth.  Make it known to him that he is no longer to gain any favors from you.

I would be done with him.  A user is what he is.

Quoted: Quoted: now, lets keep in mind that i have bent over backwards for this motherfucker.  i have let him use my trailer numerous times, have let him use my welding machine numerous times, have given him free propane and let him borrow torches and shit, just last week let him borrow my credit card to pay off a past due bill because he doesn't have one, he CURRENTLY has my BBQ pit, i even rewired the motherfuckers girlfriends car and so far as i can remember, i have NEVER asked him for a favor until now and he fucks me. Tex, it already sounds like you did too much for him. Seriously, is he using you? I would make it known that you're pissed as hell.

i've known this asshole since high school, just worked out that i've never needed him to do a damn thing for me, but come time for me to ask a favor and the fucker is AWOL

no, hell, i take it back, in february i needed his dozer for a half a day. gee, i guess it all works out now..............

Dude get your BBQ back .

Had "friends" pull this shit before.. Bitching him out probably won't change anything. I knew a guy exactly like that in highschool and he's still the same way now. Only time I take up his offer is when there is nothing he can gain from it. Otherwise, I bullshit him/them right back.

Quoted: Dude get your BBQ back .

way ahead of you.  already planned for tomorrow morning and if i hadn't been drinking all day i'd go get the fucker right now

Cut the chord.

Quoted: Quoted: Dude get your BBQ back . way ahead of you.  already planned for tomorrow morning and if i hadn't been drinking all day i'd go get the fucker right now

Also be sure to get some killer cuts at the local butcher throw a BBQ and invite everyone but him.

Instead of just confronting him and letting it roll off his back, I would lay in wait (because I'm a conniving bastard) until the next time he really needed something from you. At that point, I would not be anywhere to be found. I wouldn't return his phone calls, not be home if he knocks on your door, etc. Just totally blow his ass off, and let him figure it out for himself. You can then go about the process of de-friending his worthless ass. I had to do this myself recently to someone I used to consider a friend, but who now is just a former acquaintance.

As a wise man once said, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

let me add another question to the mix:

is it possible to be such a good guy that it's just assumed you can walk all over them and therefore just becomes the norm?

Quoted: Personally, I have ZERO use for unrealiable friends. If he'd just told you to fuck off up front, that's fine - but to say that he'll show and then not bother.  That would piss me off too.

+1...

I stop talking to people who treat me like shit

Quoted: let me add another question to the mix: is it possible to be such a good guy that it's just assumed you can walk all over them and therefore just becomes the norm?

Yup, I had this happen to me about 3 years ago! Add yet another former aquaintence to the list!

Andrew