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Posted: 2/10/2001 4:03:31 PM EDT
here's a few messages you'll neve see from hallmark---but then again maybe you should.


THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY WITH A HALLMARK CARD
(but sometimes you wish you could)

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I
can't help but wonder: What the hell was I thinking?"
 ~~~~~~~
"Congratulations on your wedding day!
 Too bad no one likes your wife."
~~~~~~~
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to
love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
~~~~~
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never
believed in Hell until I met you."
~~~~~~
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're
not here to ruin it for me."
~~~~~
"If I get only one thing for Christmas,
I hope it's your sister."
~~~~~~
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've
given me. Like the need for therapy..."
~~~~~~
"Thanks for being a part of my life!
I never knew what evil was before this!"
~~~~~'
"Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of
my back. You'll probably need it again."
~~~~~~~
"I'm so miserable without you,
it's almost like you're here."
~~~~~~
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever
find out who the father was?"
~~~~~~
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
~~~~~~
"How could two people as beautiful you have
such an ugly baby?"
~~~~~~
"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
~~~~~~~
"Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys
with boobs that are bigger than mine."
~~~~~~
"Happy Birthday!
You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!
~~~~
"Congratulations on getting Married!
It's not every day you decide to ruin your life!"
  ~~~~~~
"I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
While I'm dreaming, I also wish you weren't so damn ugly."
~~~~~~
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
~~~~~~
"We have been friends for a very long time.
What say we call it quits?"
~~~~~~~
"If you didn't have any money, I'd still love you.
And miss you very much."
~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!"
(available only in West Virginia)


earlybirdnj
Link Posted: 2/10/2001 5:48:16 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/10/2001 6:10:40 PM EDT
[sex]
Link Posted: 2/11/2001 12:59:50 AM EDT
You gotta be warped to think like this.

But then again, I thought the Seawolves might have won tonight after 18 straight losses.  Perhaps my personal appearance might have changed things :(
Link Posted: 2/11/2001 4:44:47 AM EDT
Thats some funny sh#t :) [uzi]
Link Posted: 2/11/2001 4:58:37 AM EDT
"I'm miserable without you.it's almost like your here........LMAO......
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