Posted: 2/10/2001 3:03:31 PM EST
here's a few messages you'll neve see from hallmark---but then again maybe you should.
THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY WITH A HALLMARK CARD
(but sometimes you wish you could)
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I
can't help but wonder: What the hell was I thinking?"
"Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your wife."
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to
love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never
believed in Hell until I met you."
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're
not here to ruin it for me."
"If I get only one thing for Christmas,
I hope it's your sister."
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've
given me. Like the need for therapy..."
"Thanks for being a part of my life!
I never knew what evil was before this!"
"Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of
my back. You'll probably need it again."
"I'm so miserable without you,
it's almost like you're here."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever
find out who the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"How could two people as beautiful you have
such an ugly baby?"
"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
"Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys
with boobs that are bigger than mine."
You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!
"Congratulations on getting Married!
It's not every day you decide to ruin your life!"
"I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
While I'm dreaming, I also wish you weren't so damn ugly."
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"We have been friends for a very long time.
What say we call it quits?"
"If you didn't have any money, I'd still love you.
And miss you very much."
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!"
(available only in West Virginia)
You gotta be warped to think like this.
But then again, I thought the Seawolves might have won tonight after 18 straight losses. Perhaps my personal appearance might have changed things :(
Thats some funny sh#t :) [uzi]
"I'm miserable without you.it's almost like your here........LMAO......
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