Could you forgive your spouse if she said she cheated on you when you were going through a rough spot in the marriage and said you wanted a divorce out of anger? Could you move on? How do you feel if you've ever cheated on your spouse should you find out they cheated on you. Case#1 a friend I know wife spent the night with some guy she was talking to during a separation that they thought was going to lead into a divorce. They was still living together and they both talked to other people, but when they reconciled she told him that nothing happened when her and a male friend spent the night together. He don't believe it because he puts himself in the other guys shoes and feels that the wife would tell him the truth because it would hurt him. Now on the other hand why not tell him if something did happen? Still all he has is her word and they have decided to move on but he has realized that, saying and doing is two different animals. Does it matter if they was technically not togther? How would you handle the situation? They have kids,. and have been married for 8yrs. He don't look at her the same, in fact has withdrew feeling so in love with her. Christian brothers what is your take?

A lack of trust in the relationship will only cause further problems. Cut losses and move on

Where is a Grammer Nazi when you need one?

Quoted: Where is a Grammer Nazi when you need one?

FIDELITY

Quoted: A lack of trust in the relationship will only cause further problems. Cut losses and move on

Ditto, and Paragraphs are cool!

P.S. I liked High Fedility. One of John Cusacks best works!

Quoted: Quoted: Where is a Grammer Nazi when you need one? FIDELITY

Quoted: Quoted: Where is a Grammer Nazi when you need one? fedility?

Not just that....Did you read the whole thing?

I thought I was trapped in an alternate dimension where past and present tense didn't matter.

Sorry, for the grammer problems. I was just trying to get it off my chest but , please don't use it as an excuse not to state your opinion.

Dump immediately.

Why would a guy even want to touch her again? Yecch!

Quoted: Quoted: Where is a Grammer Nazi when you need one? fedility? ETA You know you can punch unfamiliar words into Google it will tell you if you are making a fool of yourself or not.

I think he's a southern belle

'feedle deedle de'!

People make mistakes and hardships can cause bad judgment. It would depend on that person.

Well, would you believe nothing happen? Could you save your marriage and do what the Bible says: FORGIVE.

if my gf/wife every cheats on my its done right then...no chance of getting back together.

its happened twice before and im done with that shit.

My woman EVER cheats, it's over right then and there with no further questions asked.  Once I'm the one assigned to that tang,  it's off limits.

Quoted: Well, would you believe nothing happen? Could you save your marriage and do what the Bible says: FORGIVE.

Forgive? Yes       Forget?   NO

It isn't just an act of adultery that can end the marriage. It is all about trust, period.
The specifics about the adultery make all the difference. In a case where both thought the marriage was over the act wouldn't be taken as seriously as if one thought the marriage was solid.
Both need to sit down and talk it out. BOTH have to decide if they can trust each other- one alone can't make a marriage work.
If they decide there is still trust, and love, then anything can be forgiven and they can move on. If one decides there is no trust then it's over.
Trust is easy to break and hard as hell to regain, and no marriage will work without it.
Jim

Quoted: Well, would you believe nothing happen?

Fuck no.
If he does, he's an idiot and a schmuck.
Dump the bitch and move on, that's my advice. He'll be far happier in the long run. But even if he's not it is a matter of being a man. Or not, I suppose.

Could you save your marriage and do what the Bible says: FORGIVE.

That does not cover every instance known to man. Otherwise there'd be nothing left but murderers, rapists, thieves and adulterers. All the rest of us would be dead.

Well,  he said he really don't trust her like he once did. He feels like he'll remove his feelings and that way whatever happens he won't be hurt. In a year when everything they have is paid off, he'll move on. Right now everything is in his name. I said why not stay and let her help pay some of the stuff off and enjoy the monkey rather than leaving and the whole load being on him.

What do the females think of the entire situation?

Quoted: Well, would you believe nothing happen? Could you save your marriage and do what the Bible says: FORGIVE.

If I remember correctly... the Bible says you are released from your vows when your spouse commits adultery.

You can forgive someone without staying with them.

CR

fedility

Quoted: Could you forgive your spouse...?

I could never forgive my wife if she worked for the Feds!

Quoted: Quoted: A lack of trust in the relationship will only cause further problems. Cut losses and move on Ditto, and Paragraphs are cool! P.S. I liked High Fedility. One of John Cusacks best works!

Bullshit! Didn't REO Speedwagon do that?

Quoted: Where is a Grammer Nazi when you need one?

Where's the damned spelling nazi every time someome misspells G-R-A-M-M-A-R?

F - I -  D - E - L - I - T - Y  


If you love someone enough and are able to look beyond the infidelity then you can forgive her.

It is the "forgetting" that's a bitch .... you can always claim that you forgive, but can you ever forget?

Quoted: Where is a Grammer Nazi when you need one?

Spelling Nazi.

Grammar:  1 a : the study of the classes of words, their inflections, and their functions and relations in the sentence b : a study of what is to be preferred and what avoided in inflection and syntax

Spelling:  (1) : to name the letters of in order; also : to write or print the letters of in order (2) : to write or print the letters of in a particular way <you can spell it either way> <I spelled it wrong> b : to make up (a word) <what word do these letters spell>

G

Lies, infidelity, and half-truths...  Not much difference, except adultery takes it way beyond what I would personally be willing to reconcile.  My wife (hypothetically - I am not married, but am divorced) is my best friend.  A person I can trust with my life and, more importantly, the lives of my children.  If a little dick during a separation is worth ruining that, I need to find a better woman.  

Yes, I am capable of forgiving her, but forgiveness is dependent on repentance.  Lying or hiding facts about what transpired is NOT repenting, it is denying.  They want forgiveness, they earn it.  No one is obligated to forgive unless true repentance is exhibited, and forgiveness does not equate to absolution.  Like another poster stated, just because I have forgiven your wrong against me and the covenent we shared does not mean I will accept it or forget it - and certainly does not obligate me to trust you ever again.  

The very moment an act of such a nature occurs, the trust has ended.  Which means the marriage has ended.  I teach my kids that sneaking and lying and deceit is wrong.  Why would I permit it from my wife, presumably their mother?  

Every time I reached to hold her, I would be reminded she wanted another man simply because she figured a separation gave her some magical permission to get a little sex on the side.

Seems to me that if she cared about the marriage she would have been working to reconcile, not working on getting laid.  Given what her priorities were at the time, I'd be a fool to see anything but a divorce pending, and would wish her the best in her future decisions.  But no way in God's Earth does she get to share my home, my possessions, or my affections ever again.  

fi·del·i·ty (fĭ-dĕl'ĭ-tē, fī-) pronunciation
n., pl. -ties.

  1. Faithfulness to obligations, duties, or observances.
  2. Exact correspondence with fact or with a given quality, condition, or event; accuracy.
  3. The degree to which an electronic system accurately reproduces the sound or image of its input signal.

apply definition 1.

then, cut away and pull your reserve.

that is all.

I always ask my wife about these threads.

Her comment:

"If he takes her back, he gets what he deserves."

She did question what made them separate in the first place, however, and was curious if he was screwing around.