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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 12/17/2002 7:47:05 PM EDT
Ok this was alot of work, I only got through the 8th page, so if anyone wants to finish it feel free too. It reads pretty well, maybe we should try to get it published! Osama finished, and slowly took the goat to his tent for a long night of Cleaning and polishing his miniature head with a sharp axe. He accidentally slipped and cut his facial pubic hair so close that the goat vomited, so much for his date. So Osama left the tent and hopped onto his old turd brown Chevy chevette. The Delta operator jumped him and shit down his throat while at the same time, bill Clinton jumped out from behind a gay angry midget who's name was Algore. Janet Reno then appeared naked and noticed Clinton was sporting a shorty bushmaster xm15 with a bayonet. Bill lunged his bayonet in and spilled M&M’s all over the wrinkled and baggy Janet's special friend who loves to riverdance while eating sour plums as the rotten smell of a stained intern's dress wafted across the plains of Xanadu. The mall ninja, fresh from taking 308s to the back of the brothel where he just engaged in some serious pillow biting, brought on by not taking his medication again. Chief Moose then replied with, "Hey, whutz up wiff dat?" Suddenly a pirate ship appeared to be nothing more than a distraction from the evil. Smurfette and her cadre of little warm slippery blue imitation feminine hygiene pads, commonly used by bill Clinton every month to mop up Tom Daschle's pile of fermenting dog feces that was just stolen from The Democratic national Committee headquarters. It was then that Saddam dismounted the young boy and perversely eyed a crippled goat but didn't see the claymores that were hiddden by a rack of BBQ pork ribs being devoured by Rosie O'Donnell while watching Lifetime as she went down slowly on me planned tonight’s lesbo love trist with herself, Janet Reno, and Alice from the Brady Bunch who has a long tongue and a slight cocaine addiction. Reno's shaky arm felt good in a sick kinda way like when I slid down a pointed rail covered with turpentine soaked sandpaper, I found while waxing my genitals at the dungeon in Hillary's basement guess what else happened there during times of planetary convergence. We all watched in horror as the great intergalactic chaos got worse. Bill Clinton enters with a coupla fat whores, 4 Cubans and two tubes, ALL claiming "we're HIV free." But who could have known they're looking for the throne to have a royal orgy in Tom Daschle's hidden lair. Then Bill turned to me smiling with no teeth. He wanted me to look at the semen stained dress he took off the goat and grabbed a crippled monkey with a harelip and a 12 inch wang that was still smelling like Oprah Winfrey's chittlin-fried cheesy beef flaps after soaking in raw sewage under the streets of Chicago where Elian Gonzales used to strangle sheep for fun and Bill felt he had to thoroughly lubricate his geriatric mothers' breasts rubbing on her knees until he saw that she had punctured her colostomy bag with a sharp crochet hook. It then covered Janet Reno's tattooed and pierced right nipple that she got in an NRA convention, while impersonating Rush Limbaugh, who said "huh"?, Next thing you know, Chelsea with her dripping wet lips and ugly "punch me" face Whipped out a huge, hairy shit stinkin dildo from her Black bag of dirty tricks Which Michael Moore then used as a substitute for his Nintendo game cube remote control while groaning and moaning as Al Gores evil toy puppet named Mr. purpleheaded yougurt thrower takes an English class for some Chinese illegal aliens whotried to bribe their way into a nudist colony for one legged midgets with no respect for Eric Cartman's athoritah. Enter Michel Jackson, stage left with one hand on his child hanging over the balcony with his pants half way down, showing his "white" skinny toothbrush, that smelled suspiciously like a fat little Asian boy's cream of sum yung guy. Then, all of a sudden Stoney-Point said something disgusting like That looks like Al Gore's three handled, left hand, family of inbred Tennessee red necks looking for "their" Ned Beatty with a real purty mouth that even I wanted to put on my rubber gloves before the next twisted act envolving a really thorny pineapple. Bin Laden's swollen itchy oozing brain suddenly exploded without warning and the secondary explosion caused Chelsea to hurl split pea all over tom dassholes lap a camel started licking his bowl of chocolate ice cream with fruity sprinkles on top and three shots of Rum when a stanger came up wearing a fez and a freshly pressed, tightly wrapped straitjacket from the local loony bin. And he said to bill c'mere and be my lil' throbbing piece of man meat Bill said no, you're much Too intelligent for my taste however, you can still go down on my wife like Rosie going down on a Ding-Dong. Then Bill went to give more Nuclear secrets to our eastern enemies. The wacky IraqI was eating out at Wendy's when he thought I haven't killed enough of the germs causing the burning to my shrunken, scrotal sac covered in warts dripping puss which was licked up by the mouth of Michael Moore. We all need professional help said the goat to the little alter boy was finishing an old fifth of Ouzo while spouting off about the effect of M193 on pumpkins. With a sinister smile he said a .50 is much more fun than a barrel when you carefully apply Breakfree Onto Bill's small, yet erect Chihuahua that was running amok among the purple tulips that smell just like taco bell cheese enchilada with spoiled sauerkraut. And then Rosie pounced on. that box of jelly doughnuts that Klinton just used to give out as Christmas gifts
Link Posted: 12/17/2002 8:04:34 PM EDT
That is funny.
Link Posted: 12/18/2002 2:45:06 AM EDT
This is from Urban Commandos, Right? Awesome!
Link Posted: 12/18/2002 6:52:28 AM EDT
That took too much time for only 2 replys! the original thread is here [url]www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=124&t=154822&w=myTopicPop[/url]
Link Posted: 12/18/2002 6:57:17 AM EDT
It was already complied as of page 13 on the original link. I hope you didn't try too hard to do work that was already done...
Link Posted: 12/18/2002 8:08:20 AM EDT
I don't know if I should feel honored or ashamed that MY name appeared in that story.
Link Posted: 12/18/2002 9:08:44 AM EDT
[homer simpson voice][size=6] DOH! [/size=6][/homer simpson voice] [BD] [BD] [BD] [BD] [BD] [BD] [BD] [BD] [BD]
Link Posted: 12/18/2002 9:17:28 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Stoney-Point: I don't know if I should feel honored or ashamed that MY name appeared in that story.
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Yeah, I kind of threw you under the bus on that one.
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