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Posted: 8/27/2004 2:57:33 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/1/2004 11:26:47 AM EST by JIMBEAM]
cheating?

About a year ago my girl firend found some porn on my computer and in my apartment and was upset. We had been dating about a year and she asked/ demanded that I get rid of it. I did with the exception of some stuff on my comuter. Yesterday she found some jpegs on my computer and freaked. She wants to end it. I can understand her being pissed about me lying but it was some pretty harmless stuff. She says it is no different than cheating. Any thoughts?
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:00:53 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:05:00 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:06:50 AM EST

Originally Posted By JIMBEAM:
She says it is no different than cheating



You are with a Woman Girl who doesn't understand male nature. If you are serious about staying with her, you have a lot of work to do, work that daddy should have done. Let me guess, she didn't have a father growing up?
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:08:23 AM EST
my wife knows i look at it still. she thinks it's funny, tries to catch me checkin it out.
just say to her "hey, would you rather get laid three to four times a day every day?"
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:11:29 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 3:13:31 AM EST by garandman]
Yes.

Unless you are gay.

In which case its sick.

You asked.

_______________

If it wasn't cheating, it wouldn't have lead to you lying.


BOTh of which lead me to believe NO WAY are you ready for a relationship, and she'd be doing YOU a favor by dumping you.

Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:12:39 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 3:12:54 AM EST by PokeChoke]
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:14:26 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:14:34 AM EST
I dont consider pron cheating. My wife doesnt either. She just asks when I download it I store it someplace she wont find it. Honestly though, if she is gona freak over a couple of pictures of naked girls, imagine how she would react when your buddies want to throw you a bachalor party.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:15:14 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 5:47:15 AM EST by SigZiggy]

Originally Posted By JIMBEAM:
I wanted to keep the title clean, so let me ask again. Is porn cheating?

About a year ago my girl firend found some porn on my computer and in my apartment and was upset. We had been dating about a year and she asked/ demanded that I get rid of it. I did with the exception of some stuff on my comuter. Yesterday she found some jpegs on my computer and freaked. She wants to end it. I can understand her being pissed about me lying but it was some pretty harmless stuff. She says it is no different than cheating. Any thoughts?



Man's answer:
Is porn cheating. NO
Any thoughts: Yes, porn rocks!

Woman's answer:
Is porn cheating: IMO (which doesn't matter because it isn't her opinion) NO
Any thoughts: Yes, the main issue is NOT the porn in this case, but that SHE feels it is no different than cheating AND that she already was upset about it once and asked you to remove it. She thought you did, but then found some more. By doing that you are not only being dishonest, you are discounting her feelings that you were already made aware of. Bad move. If there were certain pictures that you wanted to keep, you should have discussed it with her THEN. At least she could have been given the opportunity to get out of the relationship at that time if she couldn't compromise on letting you have some normal guy characteristics (i.e. being visually stimulated).
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:23:20 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:26:11 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 3:27:30 AM EST by sgtar15]

Originally Posted By JIMBEAM:

Any thoughts?




Yeah...tell her that if she was putting out more you wouldn't NEED porn.


Then ask for pie.


Sgtar15
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:26:24 AM EST

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
Cheating requires sexual conduct between two people, one of whom is not you Significant Other. Not you and a magazine.




WRONG.

Cheating is a matter of the heart.

The sex is just the visual evidence of the cheating heart.

I have SO much to teach you people.

Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:26:39 AM EST
Cheating is sticking your penis into another woman's vagina.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:28:01 AM EST

Originally Posted By BenDover:
Cheating is sticking your penis into another woman's vagina.



WHat about a blowjob?


SGtar15
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:39:46 AM EST
It isn't according to the US Government.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 3:44:22 AM EST
Are there Government regs on that?
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:05:38 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By JIMBEAM:

Any thoughts?




Yeah...tell her that if she was putting out more you wouldn't NEED porn.


Then ask for pie.


Sgtar15



Her appetite isn't a problem.

I understand her being pissed about my lie. I think we are gonna have to wait a few more days before she and I talk about this again. She is so pissed and hurt she is saying stuff to make me mad and to hurt me. She is a psychologist and has a hot temper. I have told her everthing I can. I am sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, I won't do it again, and I love you. Some tough stuff to say when you are being insulted.

We both need to cool off for a few days before we talk again.

To top it off her pregnant friend recently "caught" her husband looking at on-line porn and was so pissed she almost mis-carried. She was in the hospital for 2 days. She made him install a pron filter on their computer. Of cousre she was the first person my girlfriend called.

Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:07:36 AM EST

Originally Posted By garandman:
Yes.

Unless you are gay.

In which case its sick.

You asked.

_______________

If it wasn't cheating, it wouldn't have lead to you lying.


BOTh of which lead me to believe NO WAY are you ready for a relationship, and she'd be doing YOU a favor by dumping you.




what he said.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:08:58 AM EST
Cheating is in the eye of the cheated.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:10:45 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 4:11:00 AM EST by BenDover]
If she's a psychologist, then she should already understand male sexual response, and therefore the pr0n wouldn't be a problem.

Not to insult her, but I question her capabilities as a therapist with those hangups.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:13:22 AM EST
Well, I'd ask her if she considers me beating off in the shower as 'cheating'. If she does, then I'd tell her I've cheated on her dozens of times. If she sees the logic/rationale of it, then you tell her that that's all you do with the porn, beat your own meat. It's not that you WANT to or actively PURSUE screwing other women, you just want something to punch the clown by when your GF is not available.


I think she could only complain if she were a nympho and screwed you every time you wanted some. If she's stingy with the punanny, then you got to get your release somehow.

Simply put, I don't think a little pr0n is 'cheating'.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:14:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By BenDover:
If she's a psychologist, then she should already understand male sexual response, and therefore the pr0n wouldn't be a problem.

Not to insult her, but I question her capabilities as a therapist with those hangups.




Maybe you missed this part...



She is a psychologist and has a hot temper.



psychologist heal thyself!!


SGatr15
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:18:15 AM EST
This is a very bad sign of future nagging.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:29:29 AM EST

Originally Posted By BenDover:
If she's a psychologist, then she should already understand male sexual response, and therefore the pr0n wouldn't be a problem.

Not to insult her, but I question her capabilities as a therapist with those hangups.



She is good at what she does just try arguing with her.

Her big issue issue is the lie. Which I understand. My issue is with her controlling nature and demands.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:32:32 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By BenDover:
If she's a psychologist, then she should already understand male sexual response, and therefore the pr0n wouldn't be a problem.

Not to insult her, but I question her capabilities as a therapist with those hangups.




Maybe you missed this part...



She is a psychologist and has a hot temper.



psychologist heal thyself!!


SGatr15



No shit!! She eithr is a poor psychologist for not understanding the male mind, or has serious control issues......
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:35:07 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 4:45:43 AM EST

Originally Posted By AZMAN-1:



No shit!! She eithr is a poor psychologist for not understanding the male mind, or has serious control issues......



I thinks it's control.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 5:05:08 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:
Yeah...tell her that if she was putting out more you wouldn't NEED porn.



Absolutely.


1 Corinthians 7:3-4 KJV
(3) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(4) The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.



Of course, we're not talking about a married couple here...
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 5:45:49 AM EST

Originally Posted By JIMBEAM:
Her big issue issue is the lie. Which I understand. My issue is with her controlling nature and demands.



Agreed. There is more than porn to this one...

The lying - No need to go into details on that. Trust is key in any relationship.

Controlling nature and demands - Bingo. Must discuss things up front and come to an agreement on what is ok or not ok, and then stick to it. You have different values and unless you always want this stuff to be rearing its ugly head (no pun intended) then nip it in the butt (again, no pun intended)

Ask yourself this - Can you seriously imagine living the rest of your life not looking at any online images or porn?

You may as well just chop them dingleberries off right now 'cuz you wouldn't be needing them...
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 5:51:44 AM EST
First, cheating is whatever a couple decide cheating is.

Second, her response to something as harmless and common as some pics of naked wommenz on your PC doesn't bode well for the relationship as a whole. This woman has issues, and is hanging those issues on you. She is making a unilateral decision concerning what you can do. I'd be really uncomfortable with that in your place.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 5:54:46 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 5:55:34 AM EST by livefreeordieNH]

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
Cheating requires sexual conduct between two people, one of whom is not you Significant Other. Not you and a magazine.




WRONG.

Cheating is a matter of the heart.

The sex is just the visual evidence of the cheating heart.

I have SO much to teach you people.





AW GEEZ NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN.

CHEATING IS PHYSICAL ACTIVITY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE.


You looking at porn is not cheating. You looking at porn and spanking the monkey is not cheating. The issue here is control.

That is all.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 5:58:07 AM EST
If she told you that she considers porn cheating and then she caught you looking at porn after that then...

IT’S A TRAP!!!


And you are caught in it.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 6:04:44 AM EST
It depends on what your definition of "is" is.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 6:08:51 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 6:09:54 AM EST by Noname]
You might recommend that she consider seeing a psychologist...

<­BR>

...!

Link Posted: 8/27/2004 6:26:41 AM EST
Personally, I don't think looking at porn is cheating, but she does, and that is what is important. Each couple has to decide their boundaries. She set hers, and you agreed to them, then breached them. Instead of saying that you would get rid of all porn in the first place, you should have discussed it with her and reached an agreement of some sort way back in the begginning. A lot of women do consider porn to be cheating, and you can either respect that or don't date those women.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 6:31:26 AM EST

Originally Posted By livefreeordieNH:

AW GEEZ NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN.

CHEATING IS PHYSICAL ACTIVITY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE.


You looking at porn is not cheating. You looking at porn and spanking the monkey is not cheating. The issue here is control.

That is all.




Cheating is a road.

Sex outside the marriage / relationship is the destination.

Porn is the vehicle most frequently used to get to the destination.

Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't understand the real world.



Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:00:31 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 7:05:53 AM EST by Alien]

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By livefreeordieNH:

AW GEEZ NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN.

CHEATING IS PHYSICAL ACTIVITY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE.


You looking at porn is not cheating. You looking at porn and spanking the monkey is not cheating. The issue here is control.

That is all.




Cheating is a road.

Sex outside the marriage / relationship is the destination.

Porn is the vehicle most frequently used to get to the destination.

Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't understand the real world.






Did you ever stop to think that it's you who doesn't understand the real world? You're in the minority here. You're pretty much the only person in this thread that follows this method of thinking. And don't even start with the holier than thou attitude. It's your opinion, and I respect it, but don't try and push that stuff on everybody else.

And no, looking at porn or even looking at porn while shaking hands with the president is not cheating.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:14:29 AM EST

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By livefreeordieNH:

AW GEEZ NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN.

CHEATING IS PHYSICAL ACTIVITY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE.


You looking at porn is not cheating. You looking at porn and spanking the monkey is not cheating. The issue here is control.

That is all.




Cheating is a road.

Sex outside the marriage / relationship is the destination.

Porn is the vehicle most frequently used to get to the destination.

Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't understand the real world.






Did you ever stop to think that it's you who doesn't understand the real world? You're in the minority here. You're pretty much the only person in this thread that follows this method of thinking. And don't even start with the holier than thou attitude. It's your opinion, and I respect it, but don't try and push that stuff on everybody else.

And no, looking at porn or even looking at porn while shaking hands with the president is not cheating.



I tend to agree with garandman.

Unless both patners consent, I don't think there is any room in a relationship for porn.

I don't think it can be simply and conveniently dismissed as a control issue.

That Mr Beam basically had to lie about and hide it basically says he knows something is wrong with his behavior in this particular relationship.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:24:41 AM EST

Originally Posted By Alien:
Did you ever stop to think that it's you who doesn't understand the real world? You're in the minority here. You're pretty much the only person in this thread that follows this method of thinking.



The "right" is almost always in the minority.

Further, you think people actually live their lives like what you read here?

NEWSFLASH -

This is the internet. read: group of accomplished liars

MOST guys here are NOT Brad Pitt look-a-likes. Most are either fat or bald.

MOST guys here are NOT of the proporations of Ron Jeremy (tho they assure they are)

NOT EVEN HALF the guys here who claim to be special forces are actually special forces.

DARN FEW of the people here are half as sexually active as they'd like everyone to beleive.

They don't all own a gazillion guns.

They didn't tell off the cop the way they claimed they did.

But here's what IS true of most of them (and me)-

If we DO frequent the girlie mags, we are NOT gonna condemn ourselves by admitting what we all know is true - we look at girlie mags to get our rocks off (to varying degrees. ) And THAT is cheating


And don't even start with the holier than thou attitude. It's your opinion, and I respect it, but don't try and push that stuff on everybody else.

.



I'm not holier than anyone - prolly less holy than most. Largely cuz I'm aware of my sins.

And if me speaking my opinion is what you consider "pushing" ...well, that pretty much proves my point as to your guilty conscience telling you what I said is true.

But thanx for playing.

As Shakespeare said "Me thinks thou doest protest too loudly."


Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:27:00 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:33:14 AM EST
Ahhhh, the religious arguments against porn...................

As a practicing Catholic, I was taught (and believe) that God judges actions, not thoughts. The 7th Commandment, "Thou shalt not COMMIT adultery", refers to an act (this is really not applicable here since we are not talking about people who are married but for the sake of argument).

As a male with an IQ over 80, I know that God created men with the ability (or curse) to be sexually aroused by just about anything. Being monogamous is an unnatural state for the male of the Human Species, that is why God used up one of his 10 Commandments to address it.

The only "sin" I see here is making a promise he knew when he made it would not be kept.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:37:38 AM EST

Originally Posted By garandman:
we look at girlie mags to get our rocks off



correct



And THAT is cheating




nope. cheating is physical activity between two people.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:39:21 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 7:53:55 AM EST by Alien]

Originally Posted By garandman:
The "right" is almost always in the minority.

Further, you think people actually live their lives like what you read here?

NEWSFLASH -

This is the internet. read: group of accomplished liars

MOST guys here are NOT Brad Pitt look-a-likes. Most are either fat or bald.

MOST guys here are NOT of the proporations of Ron Jeremy (tho they assure they are)

NOT EVEN HALF the guys here who claim to be special forces are actually special forces.

DARN FEW of the people here are half as sexually active as they'd like everyone to beleive.

They don't all own a gazillion guns.

They didn't tell off the cop the way they claimed they did.

But here's what IS true of most of them (and me)-

If we DO frequent the girlie mags, we are NOT gonna condemn ourselves by admitting what we all know is true - we look at girlie mags to get our rocks off (to varying degrees. ) And THAT is cheating



So everybody is lying and they really do feel that looking at porn is cheating. Is that the connection you're making here? They have nothing to gain or lose by stating their morals on the matter. While I admit that I think many people here (who shall remain nameless) embellish the truth when they speak on many aspects of their lives, I don't see the relevancy of that to looking at porn equating to cheating.

Also...




And don't even start with the holier than thou attitude. It's your opinion, and I respect it, but don't try and push that stuff on everybody else.

.



I'm not holier than anyone - prolly less holy than most. Largely cuz I'm aware of my sins.

And if me speaking my opinion is what you consider "pushing" ...well, that pretty much proves my point as to your guilty conscience telling you what I said is true.

But thanx for playing.

As Shakespeare said "Me thinks thou doest protest too loudly."



You lose all credibility for using the bastardized word, "prolly."

In all seriousness though, I'm not trying to sell anything to anybody. Figureatively speaking of course. I'm not trying to change your mind. I'm not saying you're wrong. I can't say that you show the same respect however. I feel no guilt whatsoever for I do what I believe is right.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:48:27 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 7:59:53 AM EST

Originally Posted By JIMBEAM:
Her appetite isn't a problem.

I understand her being pissed about my lie. I think we are gonna have to wait a few more days before she and I talk about this again. She is so pissed and hurt she is saying stuff to make me mad and to hurt me. She is a psychologist and has a hot temper. I have told her everthing I can. I am sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, I won't do it again, and I love you. Some tough stuff to say when you are being insulted.

We both need to cool off for a few days before we talk again.

To top it off her pregnant friend recently "caught" her husband looking at on-line porn and was so pissed she almost mis-carried. She was in the hospital for 2 days. She made him install a pron filter on their computer. Of cousre she was the first person my girlfriend called.




Looking at porn isn't cheating ......... Period , end of discussion !

Now on the other hand , If you have 30 gig's of freaky porn , like farm animals , bodily
wastes , Kiddy porn and Hot wax and clothespins ...... well then it still isn't cheating , but you might be sick demented bastard .

If we are talking Garden variety porn here , then your psychologist GF needs to see colleague to address her own issues . Sorry to say it , but you really sound whipped . have you ever stood up to Her ?? Or are you prepared for a life of hell ??

If she insist on running all aspects of your life , I'd suggest you go stick it in her friends pooper , take pics and use them as your desktop !!

Oh ......... Then post them here

Link Posted: 8/27/2004 8:00:45 AM EST

WHat about a blowjob?


According to Tesco Vee & the Meatmen . . . "Blowjobs Ain't Cheatin'!!!"
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 8:06:39 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2004 8:10:05 AM EST by garandman]

Originally Posted By Alien:
I'm not trying to change your mind. I'm not saying you're wrong. I can't say that you show the same respect however. I feel no guilt whatsoever for I do what I believe is right.




The MOST disrespectful thing I could do is to allow you to continue in your error without at least mentioning the truth.

I've now done that. My work here is done (at least as it pertains to you)

Link Posted: 8/27/2004 8:09:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By rickinvegas:
As a practicing Catholic, I was taught (and believe) that God judges actions, not thoughts. The 7th Commandment, "Thou shalt not COMMIT adultery", refers to an act (this is really not applicable here since we are not talking about people who are married but for the sake of argument).

.



Look at the verses ETH posted - Matthew 5

They expand upon the Mosaic Law to include simple lust as part of adultery, and equal to it.

It was Christ speaking In matthew 5. If you disagree with Matt 5, take itup with Him.



Link Posted: 8/27/2004 8:18:54 AM EST
You aren't hding it well enough. Make a folder with an obscure name like "WinXP_MBR" or WIN Systems files" or "Win utilities" and right click on it and make it a hidden file. Store all your porn there. Make sure you don't have the option to display hidden files enabled.

My wife doesn't care what I do, but she does like to catch me and poke fun. The main reason I do this is because I have a kid I don't want stumbling across my files. Of course, this is a minimum security way to hide it. If she really is looking hard she can still find it.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 8:41:47 AM EST
Aside from all of the arguments so far, what was she doing searching your computer for porn?
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