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AR15.COM

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - X

9/16/2007 1:44:51 PM EDT
X
9/16/2007 1:47:08 PM EDT
[#1]
You get an F-- for poor formatting.
9/16/2007 1:50:49 PM EDT
[#2]
hmmm....the first few sentences were good. Then you went off on a religious tilt....I thought this was about cultural diversity?

Also, you should read the 1st amendment word for word. "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

I predict a D- in your future.
9/16/2007 1:51:24 PM EDT
[#3]

Quoted:
You get an F-- for poor formatting.


plus the excessive use of first person
9/16/2007 1:52:38 PM EDT
[#4]

Quoted:
You get an F-- for poor formatting.


Really.  you could say any outlandish (ie, honest comment) stuff you want, totally non-PC, but just package it as one huge paragraph. No one will read it.  Just make the opening an closing sentences sound PC, you'll get an A.  
9/16/2007 1:56:09 PM EDT
[#5]
Are you one of the diversity?

1.  Poor formating.
2.  Poor writing.

You still will receive an A.  

No child is left behind.  You are entitled to be creative in your writing style.  The problem is with the readers -and we apologize.
9/16/2007 1:57:25 PM EDT
[#6]
You get an F for your shitty writing skills.

First person, lack of paragraphs, religious rant when the topic is cultural diversity, etc.

And yet you will probably say you got an F because you aren't 'liberal' and don't fall in line with the teacher
9/16/2007 1:57:55 PM EDT
[#7]

Quoted:
hmmm....the first few sentences were good. Then you went off on a religious tilt....I thought this was about cultural diversity?

Also, you should read the 1st amendment word for word. "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

I predict a D- in your future.


Please read word for word. Citizens expressing their religeous belief puplicly on public property in any form is not the government establishing religeon. If I may not excercise my first ammendment rights concerning my religeous beliefs is not the government preventing the free excersise thereof?
9/16/2007 1:58:21 PM EDT
[#8]
I refuse to read that until you break it into paragraphs.
9/16/2007 1:59:34 PM EDT
[#9]

Quoted:
You get an F for your shitty writing skills.

First person, lack of paragraphs, religious rant when the topic is cultural diversity, etc.

And yet you will probably say you got an F because you aren't 'liberal' and don't fall in line with the teacher


I pasted this text from word. I used the indents here, but they did not show up.
9/16/2007 2:00:24 PM EDT
[#10]

Quoted:
You get an F-- for poor formatting.


No he gets an F for having no clear thesis, introduction or conclusion, it's just a rant. While this is suitable for internet forums etc, it really has no place in any academic work. Could use some proof reading for conventional things, also needs formatting, and proper citation for the article he quoted (would also be good to properly quote it).

ETA: It also needs better organization, it kind of rambles along as it is.
9/16/2007 2:00:26 PM EDT
[#11]

Quoted:
I refuse to read that until you break it into paragraphs.


I did, why does it not show up. Someone help here.
9/16/2007 2:01:06 PM EDT
[#12]
You get an A+++ if that is what the teacher believes. Even though the lack of writing skills, it doesnt matter if you have your 3 your old sister write it, for some teachers, just as long as it is what they want to hear

F- if he/she doesnt.
9/16/2007 2:02:00 PM EDT
[#13]
I didn't realize that was your paper at first.

Wow...

You really need to learn to organize your thoughts and write in the English language.

That sounds more like a stream-of-consciousness rant than an essay.
9/16/2007 2:02:16 PM EDT
[#14]

Quoted:
You get an F for your shitty writing skills.

First person, lack of paragraphs, religious rant when the topic is cultural diversity, etc.

And yet you will probably say you got an F because you aren't 'liberal' and don't fall in line with the teacher


Big ole +1.

Re-write the religious rant, a single sentence can sum up your entire rant, and use that rant to demonstate and move into more on cultural diversity
9/16/2007 2:15:39 PM EDT
[#15]
You also get an F for having a thin skin and redacting your entire post.
9/16/2007 2:16:46 PM EDT
[#16]
marks the spot ??
9/16/2007 2:17:58 PM EDT
[#17]
What'd I miss?
9/16/2007 2:18:58 PM EDT
[#18]
Y

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