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Posted: 10/3/2005 4:51:34 PM EDT
Could someone offer me another viewpoint on this? I would love to have kids someday, but is there a reason to even advance the relationship (ie-marriage) if she doesn't want or like kids?
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 4:56:28 PM EDT
Well, if you're dead set on kids, you could sit around and hope that her biological clock will kick her in the ass at some point, or you could take her at her word and move on.

Sucks though
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 4:59:06 PM EDT
well she definitely would love to get married, but if she doesn't like kids, I honestly see no reason to do it, maybe I really should just move on?
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:04:52 PM EDT
move on
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:05:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:
Could someone offer me another viewpoint on this? I would love to have kids someday, but is there a reason to even advance the relationship (ie-marriage) if she doesn't want or like kids?



No. She is a useless POS. Move on.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:07:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:08:16 PM EDT by Observer]
I'd say it depends on how old both of you are. I don't blame her and can understand the viewpoint.

Neither my wife nor I had any interest in children whatsoever until about 18 mos or so ago.

We were at a different stage in our lives with both of us having too many other things going on, we wanted to travel, get a nest egg established, goof off and go drinking or eating out with friends, basically do other things besides change shitty diapers, wash clothes and feed a baby.

It's a 24/7/365 x 21 proposition so there's a lot of reasons to think that 'maybe this isn't for me'.

My take is that if you guys are really young (<30 yrs) I wouldn't worry that much about it. If she's older than 35 and has that opinion then you're probably not going to change her (and why would you want to have to talk her into it anyway?)

Decide what's important to you and why. Then make up your mind.

If you guys already aren't on the same page with this then you're probably not cut out for one another.

Just my viewpoint.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:08:04 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:09:02 PM EDT
The one woman I knew (former co worker) who was adamant about not wanting kids was a psycho. She actually came out and told me she didn't want kids because she felt children would take attention away from her.

I'm not saying your girl is psycho, but it's weird for a woman not to like children IMHO. Every woman I've ever dated wanted them, and I've dated quite a few girls.

Red flag IMHO. Good luck.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:12:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:12:56 PM EDT by Triumph955i]
not worth it.

do not marry,

do not pass go.

just live together. for now.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:12:35 PM EDT
I don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting to have children, I'm 31 and don't know if I want them myself, however if its something you really want, then you probably would be better off not going ahead with marriage.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:12:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:
Could someone offer me another viewpoint on this? I would love to have kids someday, but is there a reason to even advance the relationship (ie-marriage) if she doesn't want or like kids?



No. She is a useless POS. Move on.



dude that is a little harsh.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:14:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Observer:

My take is that if you guys are really young (<30 yrs) I wouldn't worry that much about it. If she's older than 35 and has that opinion then you're probably not going to change her (and why would you want to have to talk her into it anyway?)




I wouldn't ever depend upon changing someone's attitude after you are married. That's a recipe for divorce.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:15:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:
Could someone offer me another viewpoint on this? I would love to have kids someday, but is there a reason to even advance the relationship (ie-marriage) if she doesn't want or like kids?



My wife never wanted to have kids...which was fine with me because I already had 2 sons in college. Then, she did a 180 and we have the most beautiful daughter and wouldn't trade her for the world.

You just never know...

HH
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:18:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:23:02 PM EDT by FordGuy]

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:
Could someone offer me another viewpoint on this? I would love to have kids someday, but is there a reason to even advance the relationship (ie-marriage) if she doesn't want or like kids?



hell no dump her. In 20 years she will be old, wrinkled, bitchy, childless, and YOUR ass will be taking care of her instead of enjoying children with her. Life BEGINS when you have kids. Don't cheat yourself. Talk to your dad about this, he'll set you strait.

Edit: also, you've heard of fertility drugs? Their origin was to help stupid women who burned their bras, became professionals, said no to childbearing, then when their dumbasses realized how foolish they had been, they put money up for fertility drugs. Their is something fundamentally fucked up about a woman 25 to 31 who proclaims she doesn't want kids. at 32 she changes her mind, but it's too late.

Look at it this way, let's say you marry her, love her all your life, and true to male form, die before she does.......you didn't give her kids to take care of her....you essentially failed her.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:24:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By Observer:

My take is that if you guys are really young (<30 yrs) I wouldn't worry that much about it. If she's older than 35 and has that opinion then you're probably not going to change her (and why would you want to have to talk her into it anyway?)




I wouldn't ever depend upon changing someone's attitude after you are married. That's a recipe for divorce.



i agree on that, i just had a new custom home built and i have been avoiding the issue of her moving in since she told me about not wanting children.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:26:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Paul:
Breeding isn't for everyone.


+1000
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:27:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:
Could someone offer me another viewpoint on this? I would love to have kids someday, but is there a reason to even advance the relationship (ie-marriage) if she doesn't want or like kids?



No. She is a useless POS. Move on.



dude that is a little harsh.



No, women are the only ones who can have kids.
If it's not a medical problem, it's simply an excuse. Women who are physically unable to bear children can adopt and be great mothers. The unwilling, on the other hand, are just useless. They won't bear children and they won't adopt them. Their future is simply death with no ongoing life.

Remember, without children there is no future.

Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:28:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:28:52 PM EDT by JasonC]

Originally Posted By Paul:
Breeding isn't for everyone.



+2000 EXACTLY!! My wife and I do not want kids.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:32:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:
Could someone offer me another viewpoint on this? I would love to have kids someday, but is there a reason to even advance the relationship (ie-marriage) if she doesn't want or like kids?



No. She is a useless POS. Move on.



dude that is a little harsh.



No, women are the only ones who can have kids.
If it's not a medical problem, it's simply an excuse. Women who are physically unable to bear children can adopt and be great mothers. The unwilling, on the other hand, are just useless. They won't bear children and they won't adopt them. Their future is simply death with no ongoing life.

Remember, without children there is no future.




There is no future with kids taught logic from this source too, obviously. Better get the snip so you won't contaminate the rest of the human race.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:32:26 PM EDT
I'm having the opposite problem, all the women I meet want to get married and have kids, I've already been married and got 6 kids to my name, guess I'm just lookin for a shack job that doesn't want kids.


Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:35:28 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:37:48 PM EDT by Ky_Bob]

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:
No. She is a useless POS. Move on.




No, women are the only ones who can have kids.
If it's not a medical problem, it's simply an excuse. Women who are physically unable to bear children can adopt and be great mothers. The unwilling, on the other hand, are just useless. They won't bear children and they won't adopt them. Their future is simply death with no ongoing life.

Remember, without children there is no future.




This is the most ignorant thing I have read this week.

Bob
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:38:12 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:38:14 PM EDT
Not everyone wants kids these days.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:40:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Ky_Bob:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:
No. She is a useless POS. Move on.




No, women are the only ones who can have kids.
If it's not a medical problem, it's simply an excuse. Women who are physically unable to bear children can adopt and be great mothers. The unwilling, on the other hand, are just useless. They won't bear children and they won't adopt them. Their future is simply death with no ongoing life.

Remember, without children there is no future.




This is the most ignorant thing I have read this week.

Bob



Well, tell us, oh super-genius-Kentucky-Bob (are we allowed to have "genius" and "Kentucky" in the same sentence?) about the wonderful future that awaits those who have no children.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:42:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:42:25 PM EDT by TacticalMan]

Originally Posted By wildearp:

There is no future with kids taught logic from this source too, obviously. Better get the snip so you won't contaminate the rest of the human race.



Written like a true teenager.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:43:16 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:44:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Ky_Bob:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:
No. She is a useless POS. Move on.




No, women are the only ones who can have kids.
If it's not a medical problem, it's simply an excuse. Women who are physically unable to bear children can adopt and be great mothers. The unwilling, on the other hand, are just useless. They won't bear children and they won't adopt them. Their future is simply death with no ongoing life.

Remember, without children there is no future.




This is the most ignorant thing I have read this week.

Bob



+1
I don't even know where to begin. What a bunch of self-righteous ass-hats

Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:45:26 PM EDT
My wife was like that for a while. She thought she would lose her 34 dd-22-36 figure if we had a child. Our first is due late Dec.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:45:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By Ky_Bob:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:
No. She is a useless POS. Move on.




No, women are the only ones who can have kids.
If it's not a medical problem, it's simply an excuse. Women who are physically unable to bear children can adopt and be great mothers. The unwilling, on the other hand, are just useless. They won't bear children and they won't adopt them. Their future is simply death with no ongoing life.

Remember, without children there is no future.




This is the most ignorant thing I have read this week.

Bob



Well, tell us, oh super-genius-Kentucky-Bob (are we allowed to have "genius" and "Kentucky" in the same sentence?) about the wonderful future that awaits those who have no children.



The same fate that lies in wait for you. Old age and death.

GT
It's not childless, it's childfree
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:48:58 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:50:31 PM EDT by warhound]

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By Ky_Bob:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:
No. She is a useless POS. Move on.




No, women are the only ones who can have kids.
If it's not a medical problem, it's simply an excuse. Women who are physically unable to bear children can adopt and be great mothers. The unwilling, on the other hand, are just useless. They won't bear children and they won't adopt them. Their future is simply death with no ongoing life.

Remember, without children there is no future.




This is the most ignorant thing I have read this week.

Bob



Well, tell us, oh super-genius-Kentucky-Bob (are we allowed to have "genius" and "Kentucky" in the same sentence?) about the wonderful future that awaits those who have no children.


Same as you, same as me - DEATH


Damn a little to late.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:49:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:51:57 PM EDT by TacticalMan]
That's the correct answer to the wrong question, Gravity Tester. We can't even give you a consolation prize for that. Sorry!

What I was referring to was in between now & death.

Plus of course, I will never really die, I will live on through my children. Those who don't have children are biologically "unsuccessful" or "dead ends".
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:50:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 5:52:31 PM EDT by Paul]
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:50:29 PM EDT
Why is this issue so fucking personal for some people. I don't want any, because today it is getting to be a real hasstle. Plus I don't KNOW I will be a good parent, and this is somthing you can NOT take a risk on. It's a personal choice, and if your SO dosn't wat any, than move on. You definatly should not twist her arm, because she will have the kids she didn't want, your house, and a monthly check from you. This isn't the dark ages, and those of us without children will most likley have a good life anyway. There is no reason to attack anyone for not wanting kids. Look at it this way, it will cost you less in taxes later, so you should encourage it.

Rant OFF
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:53:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Paul:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:
Well, tell us, oh super-genius-Kentucky-Bob (are we allowed to have "genius" and "Kentucky" in the same sentence?) about the wonderful future that awaits those who have no children.



Well I taught about 600 Navy students in advanced electronics, about the same in Navy Surface Warfare, and about 200 college students computer networking, and a made a few dozen into broadcast television engineers ... some have managed to breed and pass their DNA on ... just like my dog did one night with the neighbor's poodle. On the other hand others have improved the very world that that dog lives in.

If you breed you're right up there with the flies/maggots that feed on my dog's shit ... now that's a future to look forward to. The difference with men is that they can not only breed but also improve the world ... too many though are too busy breeding and not adding anything other than another handful of mouth's to feed as a future.



Maybe you are right...We really don't need any more like you.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:55:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 6:04:07 PM EDT by Gravity_Tester]

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:
That's the correct answer to the wrong question, Gravity Tester. We can't even give you a consolation prize for that. Sorry!

What I was referring to was in between now & death.

Plus of course, I will never really die, I will live on through my children. Those who don't have children are biologically "unsuccessful" or "dead ends".



I don't need a consolation prize. I have a hot wife, no kids, and 50 years to enjoy.

In the timeless words of Eric Cartman; "Suck my balls!"

Congratulations, you managed to insert tab "a" into slot "b" and procreate. We will be sure to remember you after you die. Because you, unlike anyone else, have special and worthy replicants.

So, have your kids cured cancer? AIDS? No? Then STFU about how worthless a woman is because she has the intelligence to realize that maybe, just maybe, parenting is not for her. Just like rational discourse is not for you.



Edit because all I saw was the consolation prize comment
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:56:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Paul:
Breeding isn't for everyone.



thank heaven. Not everyone should breed.....
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 5:58:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By wildearp:

There is no future with kids taught logic from this source too, obviously. Better get the snip so you won't contaminate the rest of the human race.



Written like a true teenager.



I was a teenager once. Sounds like you still are.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:02:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:
That's the correct answer to the wrong question, Gravity Tester. We can't even give you a consolation prize for that. Sorry!

What I was referring to was in between now & death.

Plus of course, I will never really die, I will live on through my children. Those who don't have children are biologically "unsuccessful" or "dead ends".



I don't need a consolation prize. I have a hot wife, no kids, and 50 years to enjoy.

In the timeless words of Eric Cartman; "Suck my balls!"



Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:04:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 6:04:48 PM EDT by TacticalMan]

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:

I don't need a consolation prize. I have a hot wife, no kids, and 50 years to enjoy.



50 years to enjoy what? Money? You can have kids and money too. Your time in the nursing home? That's more likely, with no one to care for you, you will have to depend on $6/hr strangers. What if the wife passes first? I'm sure you'll enjoy all that time alone too.

Basically, you are going to be totally alone in the world. No one to visit you, no one to care for you, no one to help you out when you and your wife are too frail to take care of things. What's so great about that?
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:04:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By Observer:

My take is that if you guys are really young (<30 yrs) I wouldn't worry that much about it. If she's older than 35 and has that opinion then you're probably not going to change her (and why would you want to have to talk her into it anyway?)




I wouldn't ever depend upon changing someone's attitude after you are married. That's a recipe for divorce.



Oh ok that's it the world is coming to an end.......TacticalMan and I agree on something. If the woman doesn't want kids at all [there maybe a reason] and you do......it's time to take it on the heel and toe.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:08:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 6:12:42 PM EDT by DigDug]

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:

I don't need a consolation prize. I have a hot wife, no kids, and 50 years to enjoy.



50 years to enjoy what? Money? You can have kids and money too. Your time in the nursing home? That's more likely, with no one to care for you, you will have to depend on $6/hr strangers. What if the wife passes first? I'm sure you'll enjoy all that time alone too.

Basically, you are going to be totally alone in the world. No one to visit you, no one to care for you, no one to help you out when you and your wife are too frail to take care of things. What's so great about that?



I have a feeling you are going to be totally alone in the world with such a selfish and self serving attitude.

If you have children, they are going to ditch you in a home the first chance they can. You are going to be sitting in a poopy diaper for a long long time.

If she really doesn't want to have kids, move on.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:09:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:

I don't need a consolation prize. I have a hot wife, no kids, and 50 years to enjoy.



50 years to enjoy what? Money? You can have kids and money too. Your time in the nursing home? That's more likely, with no one to care for you, you will have to depend on $6/hr strangers. What if the wife passes first? I'm sure you'll enjoy all that time alone too.

Basically, you are going to be totally alone in the world. No one to visit you, no one to care for you, no one to help you out when you and your wife are too frail to take care of things. What's so great about that?



No one takes care of me now. I do quite well thank you.

To equate babies with worth is retarded. Completely retarded. That line of thinking places someone who has created 15 babies that are wards of the state in the "better human being" category.

Children are for people too dumb to figure out birth control.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:11:35 PM EDT
armor,

Seriously - the answer is no. If a woman "isn't sure" if she wants kids, the answer is no. No amount of discussion will change that. Either it's deep in her heart to be a mom, or not. YOU cannot change that in a woman. That was done when she was 10 years old by her family environment.

Find yourself a good woman who really wants to have kids, and isn't ashamed to say it out loud.

CMOS
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:12:08 PM EDT
You know what you are on earth for.....stick to it.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:15:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 6:17:47 PM EDT by wildearp]

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:

I don't need a consolation prize. I have a hot wife, no kids, and 50 years to enjoy.



50 years to enjoy what? Money? You can have kids and money too. Your time in the nursing home? That's more likely, with no one to care for you, you will have to depend on $6/hr strangers. What if the wife passes first? I'm sure you'll enjoy all that time alone too.

Basically, you are going to be totally alone in the world. No one to visit you, no one to care for you, no one to help you out when you and your wife are too frail to take care of things. What's so great about that?









I'm feeling lonely, I need a hug. I think I will hug my money.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:20:45 PM EDT
This is obviously "pearls before swine" for some of you. Some of you haven't thought beyond your own little lifetime and how you are right now. That's really a shame, it does you nor our country any good.

You just blithely go along, thinking that all you have is a product of only you and the present generation. Failing to see that what you have would be impossible without those before you and failing to see that what you leave will be worthless without more people to build upon it.

Take it away, night crew!
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:21:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:

I don't need a consolation prize. I have a hot wife, no kids, and 50 years to enjoy.



50 years to enjoy what? Money? You can have kids and money too. Your time in the nursing home? That's more likely, with no one to care for you, you will have to depend on $6/hr strangers. What if the wife passes first? I'm sure you'll enjoy all that time alone too.

Basically, you are going to be totally alone in the world. No one to visit you, no one to care for you, no one to help you out when you and your wife are too frail to take care of things. What's so great about that?



No one takes care of me now. I do quite well thank you.

To equate babies with worth is retarded. Completely retarded. That line of thinking places someone who has created 15 babies that are wards of the state in the "better human being" category.

Children are for people too dumb to figure out birth control.



Nice way to talk about your parents
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:23:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DOW:
The one woman I knew (former co worker) who was adamant about not wanting kids was a psycho. She actually came out and told me she didn't want kids because she felt children would take attention away from her.

\

Oooh...oh boy. If this is a sign of pyschosis, I suppose I should see a doctor.

Actually, I just don't plan on being around enough to be a good father...I like to travel, and I like jobs that have me travelling 3 weeks out of a month or more...no place for a kid or even a wife in such a life.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:25:03 PM EDT
OK. I'm an internet junkie! One more!

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:

To equate babies with worth is retarded. Completely retarded. That line of thinking places someone who has created 15 babies that are wards of the state in the "better human being" category.



No, your line of thinking places people that are from large families in the "human vermin" category.

Wards of the state? You said it buddy. That is pretty ignorant and bigotted.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:28:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/3/2005 6:37:39 PM EDT by urbankaos04]

Originally Posted By TacticalMan:

Originally Posted By armoredsaint:
Could someone offer me another viewpoint on this? I would love to have kids someday, but is there a reason to even advance the relationship (ie-marriage) if she doesn't want or like kids?



No. She is a useless POS. Move on.



LOL! What a statement! If she doesn't want to have kids maybe it's because she wants to focus on her career or doesn't feel that she's cut out for parenthood. As a therapist, I have a boatload of single mothers that SHOULD have thought like the woman you are describing as a POS. Seriously, sir, women aren't just for making babies. Sheesh.

Okay, after reading some of your other posts it seems that you equate having kids with some sort of security in old age. Well, I've seen some great individuals who were also good parents have kids that did not give a hoot about their parents. Of course, this is not always the case. And it's never a gurantee, even with good parenting, that kids will be upstanding members of society. Having children is a big comittment, so I can understand the hesitation by some people.

BTW, how many kids do you have TACTICALMAN? Just curious.
Link Posted: 10/3/2005 6:28:44 PM EDT
Move on if you really want kids.

My wife had one kid when we met. Before we got married she said she would have 1 more. Once we were married that changed to "nope not having any more". I thought about divorce/anullment but I wasn't too sure I wanted kids of my own so I didn't let it bother me. Now I'm pushing 50 and wish I had a kid of my own. Of course that will never happen as long as I remain with my wife, which I will. I'm a bit too old to be chasing lids around now anyway.
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