A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use
the procedures outlined below when accessing their
accounts."

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE
Procedures have been developed. Please follow the
appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:


1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.


**********************************************


FEMALE PROCEDURE:


1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align
car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger
seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back
and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert car d int o machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN
written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place
cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place
receipt in back
of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place
card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting
behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.