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Posted: 8/5/2005 3:49:43 AM EDT
Love him or hate him, Col. David Hackworth made some interesting observations. Here's his take on training, in moral story form, quoted from the book About Face

The Tragic Story of Willie Lump Lump

After WW 11, a boy named Willie Lump Lump enlisted in the Army. He went to Fort Benning to take his infantry training, sixteen weeks of sweat and tears and lots of punishment, to turn him into a hardened soldier. Along about the seventh week of training, a sergeant stood up in front of his class and said, "Gentlemen, I'm Sergeant Slasher, and today I'm going to introduce you to the bayonet. On guard! With that, the sergeant went into the correct stance for holding the bayonet. "On the battlefield," he continued, 'you will meet the enemy, and there will be times when you will need this bayonet to defeat the enemy. To KILL the enemy! Over the next weeks you'll be receiving a twenty-hour block of instruction on the bayonet, and I will be your principal instructor."

Willie Lump Lump went back to the barracks, deeply upset. Man, that was so brutal out there today, he thought. The war is over. We're living in peace and tranquillity, and still the Army is teaching us how to use these horrible weapons! "Dear Mom," he wrote home. "Today the sergeant told me he's going to teach me how to use the bayonet to kill enemy soldiers or, the battle field.'

Willie's mother was shocked. She got right on the phone: "Hello, Congressman DoGood? This is Mrs. Lump Lump. I want to tell you what's happening down at Fort Benning, Georgia. Here it is, 1949, and they're teaching my baby to kill with a bayonet. It's uncivilized! It's barbaric!"

The Congressman immediately got on the horn. "Hello, General Playitright at the Pentagon? This is Congressman DoGood. I understand the Army is still giving bayonet training."

"Yes, we are."

"Do you think it's a good idea? I don't think it's a very good thing at all. It's even somewhat uncivilized. 1 mean, really, how many times does a soldier need his bayonet?"

“Not very often, sir, it's true. Actually, I was just reviewing the Army Training Program myself, and I was thinking that the bayonet is a pretty obsolete weapon. I agree with you. I'll put out instructions that it's going to stop…”

The next day, seven hundred miles away: "Gentlemen, I am Sergeant Slasher. This is your second class on bayonet training--" the sergeant was interrupted by a lieutenant walking purposefully toward his across the training field. “Stand easy, men."

"It's out," the lieutenant whispered.

"What!" said the sergeant.

"It's out," the lieutenant whispered again. The sergeant nodded, his mouth wide open in disbelief. He returned to his class.

“Gentlemen, we'll have to break here. It looks as if bayonet training has been discontinued in the Army.

A year later, PFC Lump Lump, the model soldier, deployed to Korea with the 1st battalion, 23rd Regiment, 2nd infantry Division. He was standing on a frozen hill and the Chinese were coming it him--wave after wave after wave. Willie stood like a rock. Resolutely, he shot the enemy down. Suddenly he realized he was out of ammunition. He looked at his belt--not a round left. He saw a Chinaman rushing toward his. He remembered the first class on bayonet training. He reached down and pulled his bayonet out of his scabbard. Shaking and fumbling, he tried to fit it an the end of his weapon, but by that time the Chinese soldier was standing over him, with a bayonet of his own.

The Secretary of the Army signed his thousandth letter for the day: "Dear Mrs. Lump Lump; It is with deep regret that I must inform you that your son, PFC Lump Lump, was killed in action 27 November 1950."

Heartbroken, Mrs. Lump Lump wrote to some friends of young Willie's in the company. "Now?" she asked. "Why???" "Willie wasn't trained," they wrote back. 'He didn't know how to use his bayonet." Now Mrs. Lump Lump was not only heartbroken, but outraged. She didn't even bother to call Congressman DoGood. She barged right into his office.

"Why?" she cried and screamed. "Why wasn't my son trained for war?"

Lessons Learned:

The training soldiers receive daily is in their own best interest.

The civilian population doesn't know diddley squat about the realities at war

Never does than ring more true than today. From Gitmo, to our interrogation methods, to direct combat itself, the public doesn't know diddly squat about the art of warfare. As such, they should stay the hell out of the way. All their PC bullshit does is cost lives and makes us less effective. There is no way you can fight a war by being kind.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:57:13 AM EDT
I don't know if it's actually true, but they told us the same story in Army Basic at the beginning of bayonet training. I still remember it, and it's lesson.

Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:59:37 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 4:01:19 AM EDT by Charging_Handle]
I doubt this pertains to any specific individual or situation, but is rather a general illustration of how PC'ness has killed men. I am not even 100% sure this was created by Hackworth himself. But it was in the book.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:59:44 AM EDT
holy snopes batman!
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 4:05:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 4:06:38 AM EDT by pulpsmack]

Probably not everybody's "flick pick" but there's a scene in Menace II Society, where the Islamic brother is talking to Kane about safe sex. Kane says "I ain't goin out like Willie Lump Lump", and when the Islamic brother asks "Who's he", Kane trails off about an inside joke... WTF?
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 5:09:23 AM EDT
Willie Lump Lump also goes by the name Jody, Joe Schmuckatelli, Joe Shitbag, Joe 10%, and Joe Shit the Rag Man. He comes from a normal family consisting of he mother(Mom), his father(Dad), his brother and sister(Bobby and Susie), and has a girlfriend(Susie Rottencrotch) who he stole from another Marine.

He is an example, usually the worst example, used by everyone who has ever worn a uniform and taught a class. At least by everyone who has enough tact not to use real idiots as examples.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 5:36:42 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 5:40:12 AM EDT
I personally considered Hackworth a buffoon and, a nincompoop.

I'll never again critizize a war story for perhaps not being true, because people

[Lumpy] got all butt hurt [/Lumpy]

the last time I did.

Suffice to say that social experimentation has no place in the military.

Link Posted: 8/5/2005 5:42:07 AM EDT
Good read. Thanks.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 5:43:59 AM EDT
can you change the title of this to "why political correctness does not belong in America"?
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 5:44:33 AM EDT
Regardless of the veracity of this story, its point is absolutely spot-on.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 6:08:28 AM EDT
Bumped for the late sleeping day crew.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 6:11:37 AM EDT
Every politician should have to carry a pocket version of that around.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 7:02:14 AM EDT
Training is of the utmost importance and sorry to say, it involves killing and brutality and nobody said war is a clean way to do things. Let them do their job without the PC crap standing over them, it's really the only way it'll get done.

That being said, there is also a flip side to the PC issue for a lot of you, and that's criticizing the government and the war effort itself. I find it so incredibly rediculous to read request on the internet by soldiers that need equipment sent to them by civilians in order for them to do their job. I can understand request for candy or soap or CD's, you know stuff like that. I don't understand why they need to ask for Humvee armor, scopes, weapon accessories, the things that they should be equipped with in the first place. Last I heard, the defense budget of this country is what, 500 billion? Where's the outrage in that or is it PC to just not say anything? How many soldiers have died because of the lack of equipment to get the job done? Supporting those soldiers, yes. But not criticizing the government because it's PC is a bunch of bullshit.
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