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Posted: 12/19/2005 9:59:33 PM EDT
Why has everybody started ripping on Chuck Norris.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:04:39 PM EDT
[#1]
You might be a redneck...
if an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" changed your life.  Heard that gem from Jeff Foxworthy this morning on Sirius Comedy. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:06:08 PM EDT
[#2]
It's just the cool thing to do... and he is such a cool guy. He can take it. If he cant, he will deliver unto you a roundhouse kick in the face.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:06:34 PM EDT
[#3]
Because they have an inferiority complex.
I don't normally rip on him, but my dog could whip his ass. Then again, she opens the fridge without touching it. No, really. I have confirmed reports of this. Its a disturbing thought to realize that you are admonishing the dog for opening the fridge telekinetically. We call it the Puppy Force.  *quietly exits stage right to duck those who would seek to put me in a straight jacket* |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:22:00 PM EDT
[#4]
Chuck Norris thought up the phrase,"Shit or get off the pot", he then roundhosed the guy who chose to shit.
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:31:26 PM EDT
[#5]
For the same reason we drive too fast, base jump and have unprotected sex with hookers.
Flirting with death is a rush man. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:31:32 PM EDT
[#6]
I was definatly moooooved! I have changed my ways! you never know when those rangers will be behind you! 
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:56:23 PM EDT
[#7]
They dont have to be behind you, cuz the eyes of the ranger are upon you, which means they can be off to the side, or at the Furrs across the street. |
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Posted: 12/19/2005 10:59:47 PM EDT
[#8]
Y'all have issues.  BTW: Stop invoking the name of Chuck. You don't want what will happen. 
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:15:22 AM EDT
[#9]
Lets face it, when you star in a show (and sing the theme song for crying out loud) as corny as Walker Texas Ranger you're going to get made fun of for the rest of your existence, and then some (mind you, never to your face...). Luckily, Chuck Norris is the man and can take it gracefully, before roundhouse kicking your face in I might add...
I can't wait to see Steven Segal in the spin off, Buddist Monk Expeditionary Force.... Talk about some wrist breaking and throat ripping goodness, all while you get in touch with your spiritual existence in a quest to reach higher enlightment. Now that is television... |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:40:14 AM EDT
[#10]
Maybe it's because of that stupid ass rug he wears while pitching that stupid ass workout equipement.
Cristy is a hottie though. 
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Posted: 12/20/2005 3:41:40 AM EDT
[#11]
I don't "rip" on Teh Chuck! I am one of his formost prophets. Oh most benevolent and masculine Chuck, please have mercy on this unbeliever and do not smash his face with a mighty roundhouse kick for his insolent questioning of thy Chuckitude, that he might become a believer and mightest be spared from thy feet of pure doom. The eyes of the ranger are upon us all, Hi-Ya-men.... |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 3:45:08 AM EDT
[#12]
You sure do seem pretty attracted to chuck. |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 4:23:42 AM EDT
[#13]
Insulting The Prophet of Teh Chuck! is a surefire way to end up roundhouse kicked to the face. The eyes of the ranger are upon YOU. |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:04:15 PM EDT
[#14]
Words to live by. 
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:07:12 PM EDT
[#15]
We must protect the Chuck!
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:13:32 PM EDT
[#16]
I'm on time like a motherfucka
Leavin you hangin in the forest Standin in some comfortable shifts like Chuck Norris Check the chorus |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:23:35 PM EDT
[#17]
"Never leave a man behind! The Marines never leave a man behind! Chuck Norris never left a man behind!"
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:35:11 PM EDT
[#18]
people rip on chuck norris to piss of all the guys that have a crush on him
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:36:26 PM EDT
[#19]
Because he is a big flaming pussy.
He also likes to suck my dick for 5 dollars. Bruce. |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:48:34 PM EDT
[#20]
I do not rip on the Norris. I dont want him to come over and roundhouse kick my family into a glacier.
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:51:42 PM EDT
[#21]
I thought this was over with?
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Posted: 12/20/2005 2:54:31 PM EDT
[#22]
Because he is a has been, yesterdays news...old and tired............get it!!!
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Posted: 12/20/2005 8:45:35 PM EDT
[#23]
But he's still alive. 
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Posted: 12/20/2005 8:47:01 PM EDT
[#24]
pwn3d |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 8:48:19 PM EDT
[#25]
Wasnt there a rumor that Chuck gave Bruce Lee one of his belts? Probably bunk.
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Posted: 12/20/2005 8:50:05 PM EDT
[#26]
And I came back to life to prove that he is such a pussy and because he pissed me off. Stupid shit tried to say he was such a bad ass. Look at him he walks around like he has a set of chop stick up his ass. He is a none fighting pussy, fag boy that likes bukake in the morning to whiten his teeth. Bruce. |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 8:55:16 PM EDT
[#27]
No, it is not "bunk". He did give me a belt. It was a nice horse leather one with some stitching. I used it to beat his ass when I wasn't using it to hold up my blue jeans. He was trying to get into my pants. I think he is still pissed that I turned him down. It is a real nice belt too. But I brook it smacking him around like the two dollar whore he is. I still can not understand what drove hime to disco clubs in San Fransisco. Bruce. |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 8:56:38 PM EDT
[#28]
If you're so bad-ass, how come you couldn't stop David Carradine from playing your part in the original Kung-Fu series. What was that Kato? Didn't hear ya. |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 8:59:01 PM EDT
[#29]
I guess his wimmmenz didnt know the five point palm exploding heart teqnique. Huge advantage for carradine. |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 9:03:47 PM EDT
[#30]
It was a fermentative action. It was hire a tard week or some shit like that. It was a decision made by the "man". Nobody goes against the man, not even god. But in all farness Caradine is a good fighter. He can even beet “Up the Buttt Chuck” drunk. And playing Kato was fun. I did it just to do it for some extra scratch so I can go out every now and then and have diner out. Bruce. |
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Posted: 12/20/2005 9:05:33 PM EDT
[#31]
I taught him that but he liked to use it on the boobs. Not that I blaim hem I like boobies too but he had a real thing for them. Me, I used it on the chickies clit. It blew thier mind. You should try it. hty.gif Bruce. |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 12:56:52 PM EDT
[#32]
We already have over 50 locked Chuck Norris threads. Lets give it a rest OK?
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