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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:59:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/19/2005 10:01:18 PM EDT by Sixgun357]
Why has everybody started ripping on Chuck Norris.

Link Posted: 12/19/2005 10:04:39 PM EDT
You might be a redneck...

if an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" changed your life.



Heard that gem from Jeff Foxworthy this morning on Sirius Comedy.
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 10:06:08 PM EDT
It's just the cool thing to do... and he is such a cool guy. He can take it. If he cant, he will deliver unto you a roundhouse kick in the face.
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 10:06:34 PM EDT
Because they have an inferiority complex.

I don't normally rip on him, but my dog could whip his ass. Then again, she opens the fridge without touching it. No, really. I have confirmed reports of this. Its a disturbing thought to realize that you are admonishing the dog for opening the fridge telekinetically. We call it the Puppy Force.

*quietly exits stage right to duck those who would seek to put me in a straight jacket*
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 10:22:00 PM EDT
Chuck Norris thought up the phrase,"Shit or get off the pot", he then roundhosed the guy who chose to shit.
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 10:31:26 PM EDT
For the same reason we drive too fast, base jump and have unprotected sex with hookers.

Flirting with death is a rush man.
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 10:31:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Airwolf:
You might be a redneck...

if an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" changed your life.



Heard that gem from Jeff Foxworthy this morning on Sirius Comedy.




I was definatly moooooved! I have changed my ways! you never know when those rangers will be behind you!
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 10:56:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Citabria7GCBC:

Originally Posted By Airwolf:
You might be a redneck...

if an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" changed your life.



Heard that gem from Jeff Foxworthy this morning on Sirius Comedy.




I was definatly moooooved! I have changed my ways! you never know when those rangers will be behind you!



They dont have to be behind you, cuz the eyes of the ranger are upon you, which means they can be off to the side, or at the Furrs across the street.
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 10:59:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FAIL-SAFE:

Originally Posted By Citabria7GCBC:

Originally Posted By Airwolf:
You might be a redneck...

if an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" changed your life.



Heard that gem from Jeff Foxworthy this morning on Sirius Comedy.




I was definatly moooooved! I have changed my ways! you never know when those rangers will be behind you!



They dont have to be behind you, cuz the eyes of the ranger are upon you, which means they can be off to the side, or at the Furrs across the street.



Y'all have issues.



BTW: Stop invoking the name of Chuck. You don't want what will happen.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:15:22 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/20/2005 2:18:15 AM EDT by AR-15Fan]
Lets face it, when you star in a show (and sing the theme song for crying out loud) as corny as Walker Texas Ranger you're going to get made fun of for the rest of your existence, and then some (mind you, never to your face...). Luckily, Chuck Norris is the man and can take it gracefully, before roundhouse kicking your face in I might add...


I can't wait to see Steven Segal in the spin off, Buddist Monk Expeditionary Force.... Talk about some wrist breaking and throat ripping goodness, all while you get in touch with your spiritual existence in a quest to reach higher enlightment. Now that is television...
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:40:14 AM EDT
Maybe it's because of that stupid ass rug he wears while pitching that stupid ass workout equipement.

Cristy is a hottie though.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 3:41:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Sixgun357:
Why has everybody started ripping on Chuck Norris.

www.shop4photos.net/graphics/251/25125.jpg



I don't "rip" on Teh Chuck! I am one of his formost prophets.

Oh most benevolent and masculine Chuck, please have mercy on this unbeliever and do not smash his face with a mighty roundhouse kick for his insolent questioning of thy Chuckitude, that he might become a believer and mightest be spared from thy feet of pure doom.

The eyes of the ranger are upon us all,

Hi-Ya-men....
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 3:45:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By John_Wayne777:

Originally Posted By Sixgun357:
Why has everybody started ripping on Chuck Norris.

www.shop4photos.net/graphics/251/25125.jpg



I don't "rip" on Teh Chuck! I am one of his formost prophets.

Oh most benevolent and masculine Chuck, please have mercy on this unbeliever and do not smash his face with a mighty roundhouse kick for his insolent questioning of thy Chuckitude, that he might become a believer and mightest be spared from thy feet of pure doom.

The eyes of the ranger are upon us all,

Hi-Ya-men....



You sure do seem pretty attracted to chuck.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 4:23:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FredM:
You sure do seem pretty attracted to chuck.



Insulting The Prophet of Teh Chuck! is a surefire way to end up roundhouse kicked to the face.

The eyes of the ranger are upon YOU.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:04:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By John_Wayne777:
The eyes of the ranger are upon us all,




Words to live by.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:07:12 PM EDT
We must protect the Chuck!
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:13:32 PM EDT
I'm on time like a motherfucka
Leavin you hangin in the forest
Standin in some comfortable shifts like Chuck Norris
Check the chorus
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:23:35 PM EDT
"Never leave a man behind! The Marines never leave a man behind! Chuck Norris never left a man behind!"
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:35:11 PM EDT
people rip on chuck norris to piss of all the guys that have a crush on him
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:36:26 PM EDT
Because he is a big flaming pussy.


He also likes to suck my dick for 5 dollars.

Bruce.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:48:34 PM EDT
I do not rip on the Norris. I dont want him to come over and roundhouse kick my family into a glacier.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:51:42 PM EDT
I thought this was over with?

Link Posted: 12/20/2005 2:54:31 PM EDT
Because he is a has been, yesterdays news...old and tired............get it!!!
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 8:45:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bruce_Lee:
...



But he's still alive.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 8:47:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Stealth:

Originally Posted By Bruce_Lee:
...



But he's still alive.



pwn3d
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 8:48:19 PM EDT
Wasnt there a rumor that Chuck gave Bruce Lee one of his belts? Probably bunk.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 8:50:05 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Stealth:

Originally Posted By Bruce_Lee:
...



But he's still alive. hr



And I came back to life to prove that he is such a pussy and because he pissed me off. Stupid shit tried to say he was such a bad ass. Look at him he walks around like he has a set of chop stick up his ass.

He is a none fighting pussy, fag boy that likes bukake in the morning to whiten his teeth.



Bruce.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 8:55:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By WildBoar:
Wasnt there a rumor that Chuck gave Bruce Lee one of his belts? Probably bunk.




No, it is not "bunk". He did give me a belt. It was a nice horse leather one with some stitching. I used it to beat his ass when I wasn't using it to hold up my blue jeans. He was trying to get into my pants. I think he is still pissed that I turned him down.

It is a real nice belt too. But I brook it smacking him around like the two dollar whore he is. I still can not understand what drove hime to disco clubs in San Fransisco.


Bruce.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 8:56:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bruce_Lee:

And I came back to life to prove that he is such a pussy ... so on and so forth...




If you're so bad-ass, how come you couldn't stop David Carradine from playing your part in the original Kung-Fu series.

What was that Kato? Didn't hear ya.

Link Posted: 12/20/2005 8:59:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Stealth:

Originally Posted By Bruce_Lee:

And I came back to life to prove that he is such a pussy ... so on and so forth...




If you're so bad-ass, how come you couldn't stop David Carradine from playing your part in the original Kung-Fu series.

What was that Kato? Didn't hear ya.




I guess his wimmmenz didnt know the five point palm exploding heart teqnique. Huge advantage for carradine.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:03:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Stealth:

Originally Posted By Bruce_Lee:

And I came back to life to prove that he is such a pussy ... so on and so forth...




If you're so bad-ass, how come you couldn't stop David Carradine from playing your part in the original Kung-Fu series.

What was that Kato? Didn't hear ya.hr


It was a fermentative action. It was hire a tard week or some shit like that. It was a decision made by the "man". Nobody goes against the man, not even god. But in all farness Caradine is a good fighter. He can even beet “Up the Buttt Chuck” drunk.

And playing Kato was fun. I did it just to do it for some extra scratch so I can go out every now and then and have diner out.


Bruce.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:05:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By adair_usmc:

Originally Posted By Stealth:

Originally Posted By Bruce_Lee:

And I came back to life to prove that he is such a pussy ... so on and so forth...




If you're so bad-ass, how come you couldn't stop David Carradine from playing your part in the original Kung-Fu series.

What was that Kato? Didn't hear ya.hr


I guess his wimmmenz didnt know the five point palm exploding heart teqnique. Huge advantage for carradine.




I taught him that but he liked to use it on the boobs. Not that I blaim hem I like boobies too but he had a real thing for them.

Me, I used it on the chickies clit. It blew thier mind. You should try it. hty.gif


Bruce.
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 12:56:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/21/2005 12:56:52 PM EDT by tc6969]
We already have over 50 locked Chuck Norris threads. Lets give it a rest OK?
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