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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:11:45 PM EDT
These used to be in the backs of all sorts of magazines (gun magazines, Popular Mechanics, car magazines, and so on). This was the most common version of the ad that I remember as a kid in the 1980s:
They had several different models. This is the best picture I can find showing all of their models, which is unfortunately too small to read the comical descriptions (it's also a bit newer than I remember because the price has risen to $6.95): 
When I was about 12 years old I ordered one, the "Dirty Harry" revolver one (lower right-hand section of the picture, left column, third from the top), despite my father telling me it would be junk. After waiting the obligatory "six to eight weeks" like you had to wait for most mail-order things back then, I found out that my father was right. It was made of ultra-cheap plastic, the pellets were cheap plastic, and the mechanism for firing them was ridiculous. There was no compressed air system like you'd expect. Instead, the hammer simply whacked the back of the pellet, gently lobbing it out of the barrel. There was no accuracy to speak of, and it wouldn't even penetrate a piece of paper. You could throw a pellet harder, and with more accuracy. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:27:38 PM EDT
[#1]
I do. I hade the colt woodsman and the luger versions. I had fun with them. This was in the early to mid 90's.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:34:10 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I do. I hade the colt woodsman and the luger versions. I had fun with them. This was in the early to mid 90's. Mine was nothing more than a toy. Flinging a rubber band was more dangerous. I wonder if some models worked better than others. Do you remember how the firing mechanism worked in the ones you had? Not only was the firing mechanism ridiculous in mine, but the pellets didn't even fit tightly in the barrel, nor even sort of tightly. The barrel might as well not have been there at all, because it did nothing. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:40:02 PM EDT
[#3]
I actually had that first one. I can't for the life of me remember what the pellets looked like.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:40:24 PM EDT
[#4]
I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:43:47 PM EDT
[#5]
I never had one of those, but my best friend growing up had one of the BB machine guns that used a freon tank. Holy shit that thing was awesome.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:47:18 PM EDT
[#6]
I had one. Was just like you described it.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:47:44 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I actually had that first one. I can't for the life of me remember what the pellets looked like. They looked like little white plastic round-nose bullets. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:49:28 PM EDT
[#8]
Oh yeah!!! I drooled over them as a kid but never got one.. more for the looks of them. Even as a kid I knew that price was too good to be true.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:52:36 PM EDT
[#9]
I remember having one back in the 90's when I was little. It was a yellow and orange mini-MP40 with Pezlike ammunition....
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:52:38 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that. Sea monkeys? |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 2:58:53 PM EDT
[#11]
I remember seeing those and was about to give in to the temptation. A little voice told me not to waste my money. You get what you pay for.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:02:39 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that.    |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:05:24 PM EDT
[#13]
Yeah. Piece of shit
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:08:00 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sea monkeys? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that. Sea monkeys? I honestly don't recall... it may have been the 500 piece army man set or something like that. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:08:29 PM EDT
[#15]
I had a few of the $19.99 .177 Chinese pellet rifles from Cummins tools. Great rifles, one pump, and that was more powerful than 10 pumps from a Daisy or Crosman. Unfortunately, the seals were shit and generally one season worth of dryrot would kill them.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:08:39 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
you buy Neptune 2000 also ?
http://oi68.tinypic.com/r92vew.jpg http://oi65.tinypic.com/152ouf6.jpg Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that.
http://oi68.tinypic.com/r92vew.jpg http://oi65.tinypic.com/152ouf6.jpg that actually doesn't look as bad as I would have thought. I have to LOL at the "Functional Cigarette Lighter!" though. Every 7 year old SSN commander needs to be able to easily light his coffin nails as he is contemplating how best to launch his Polaris missiles at the enemy. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:09:55 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Even as a kid I knew that price was too good to be true. I did too, but I was hoping it would at least be metal. I had some metal cap guns (they resembled a Colt SAA) in the early '80s which only cost a couple/few dollars, so it wasn't out of the question. The pictures made them look like metal (some of the pictures looked more like metal than others). If you could see a higher resolution picture of that one that is supposed to look like an AutoMag, that one especially looked like metal. The one that was supposed to look like a MAC-10 looked very metallic in the picture too. There was also the Marksman pellet/dart gun which resembled a 1911, and sold in stores for under $10 at the time. That was metal, and actually had a compressed air system (albeit a weak/crappy one). They still sell those, and they are still dirt cheap. Also, they used those as gun props in the movie Super Troopers (2001). |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:10:19 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sea monkeys? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that. Sea monkeys? x-ray glasses. 
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:30:54 PM EDT
[#19]
I ordered one similar in the early 80's. It was a good four plus month wait. Finally gave up waiting for my package to arrive in the mail. Then one day I came home from school to find the box on our kitchen counter. My excitement was soon crushed when I found the cheap plastic toy inside. I remember the pellets were yellow plastic, and like OP descibed gently left the barrel at maybe 5fps. Usually with a skip or two off the ground after a few feet.
Never could figure out why it took so damn long to ship. Learned a good life lesson! You get what you pay for! Edited to say Also had the marksman 1911 around that time. Got the cops called on me for playing war with my buddies. Some neighbor thought it was real, and cop done confiscated it from me. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:34:45 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
x-ray glasses. My older cousin Paul ordered some of those in the late '70s. I was only about 4 years old, but I remember him showing my older brother and me the ad in the back of a comic book for them. He thought for sure he was going to be able to see through girls' clothes. He was naming girls he planned to look at, as well as people he would definitely avoid looking at. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:40:47 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
you buy Neptune 2000 also ?
http://oi68.tinypic.com/r92vew.jpg http://oi65.tinypic.com/152ouf6.jpg Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that.
http://oi68.tinypic.com/r92vew.jpg http://oi65.tinypic.com/152ouf6.jpg I like the "functional cigarette lighter" under features
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:47:56 PM EDT
[#22]
I remember ordering stuff from The Johnson Smith Company.
For the most part, it was a rip off, so I learned my lesson early. I am amazed they are still around. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:55:46 PM EDT
[#23]
Yeah,
I remember those. I REALLY wanted the MAC-10. Glad I didn't have to wait a whopping six months only to be met with utter disappointment. On the same note, the toy guns at Kaybee/KMart and Toys R Us, back before orange tips and silly colors were pretty bad ass! |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:55:53 PM EDT
[#24]
A friend of mine bought one he was excited. We laughed at him when it came in.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:56:45 PM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
These used to be in the backs of all sorts of magazines (gun magazines, Popular Mechanics, car magazines, and so on). This was the most common version of the ad that I remember as a kid in the 1980s: http://i.imgur.com/KMNsuFo.png They had several different models. This is the best picture I can find showing all of their models, which is unfortunately too small to read the comical descriptions (it's also a bit newer than I remember because the price has risen to $6.95): http://i.imgur.com/s5CYLq1.jpg When I was about 12 years old I ordered one, the "Dirty Harry" revolver one (lower right-hand section of the picture, left column, third from the top), despite my father telling me it would be junk. After waiting the obligatory "six to eight weeks" like you had to wait for most mail-order things back then, I found out that my father was right. It was made of ultra-cheap plastic, the pellets were cheap plastic, and the mechanism for firing them was ridiculous. There was no compressed air system like you'd expect. Instead, the hammer simply whacked the back of the pellet, gently lobbing it out of the barrel. There was no accuracy to speak of, and it wouldn't even penetrate a piece of paper. You could throw a pellet harder, and with more accuracy. Ordered the same magnum revolver in '95 as a 10 year old. It wouldn't even fire hard enough to clear the barrel. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 3:57:58 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah, I remember those. I REALLY wanted the MAC-10. Glad I didn't have to wait a whopping six months only to be met with utter disappointment. On the same note, the toy guns at Kaybee/KMart and Toys R Us, back before orange tips and silly colors were pretty bad ass! I had some pretty sweet toy guns back in the late '80s. The Pony Boy cap guns are utter crap now |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 4:11:43 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ordered the same magnum revolver in '95 as a 10 year old. It wouldn't even fire hard enough to clear the barrel. I guess they were making them better in '87. Mine would fire most of the way across my living room. If you shot a sleeping cat with it, it had almost enough power to wake it up. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 4:14:17 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I guess they were making them better in '87. Mine would fire most of the way across my living room. If you shot a sleeping cat with it, it had almost enough power to wake it up. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Ordered the same magnum revolver in '95 as a 10 year old. It wouldn't even fire hard enough to clear the barrel. I guess they were making them better in '87. Mine would fire most of the way across my living room. If you shot a sleeping cat with it, it had almost enough power to wake it up. Better springs
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Posted: 7/5/2016 4:19:58 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had a few of the $19.99 .177 Chinese pellet rifles from Cummins tools. Great rifles, one pump, and that was more powerful than 10 pumps from a Daisy or Crosman. Unfortunately, the seals were shit and generally one season worth of dryrot would kill them. I got the pistol version of that at a flea market where some vendor had stacks of them NIB. It had so much grease and oil in it, it would diesel every shot, and was giving me probably 850-900fps. Tried it once for "BB gun wars" and the other guys could hear the pellets hiss by just barely transonic, and I had to stop using that, and go back to my Powerline 880 with two pumps.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 5:44:14 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I got the pistol version of that at a flea market where some vendor had stacks of them NIB. It had so much grease and oil in it, it would diesel every shot, and was giving me probably 850-900fps. Tried it once for "BB gun wars" and the other guys could hear the pellets hiss by just barely transonic, and I had to stop using that, and go back to my Powerline 880 with two pumps. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I had a few of the $19.99 .177 Chinese pellet rifles from Cummins tools. Great rifles, one pump, and that was more powerful than 10 pumps from a Daisy or Crosman. Unfortunately, the seals were shit and generally one season worth of dryrot would kill them. I got the pistol version of that at a flea market where some vendor had stacks of them NIB. It had so much grease and oil in it, it would diesel every shot, and was giving me probably 850-900fps. Tried it once for "BB gun wars" and the other guys could hear the pellets hiss by just barely transonic, and I had to stop using that, and go back to my Powerline 880 with two pumps. I remember back-of-magazine ads for the single-stroke piston air rifles, advertising something like 1,000 FPS. They had plain wooden stocks and a side-cocking lever if I remember right. I wanted one, but I made do with my Crosman 760 Pumpmaster which advertised 670 FPS with 10 pumps. My best friend and my cousin both had Crosman 760s too, and we dusted an awful lot of birds with those things when we 11 to 14 years old. Not exactly legal (mostly robins), but we never got caught. When we were 15 we started using real guns and going after mostly red squirrels (legal all year round, no bag limit; they are considered pests here in Maine). I had a bolt-action Marlin .22 WMR with a 4x scope, and it was a tack driver. My best friend used a bolt-action Savage .22 LR, no scope; a combination which gave him a lot less range than I had. One day when crows were in season, I saw one across a big field perched at the top of a tree. It had to have been a few/several hundred yards away. It looked tiny even through the scope. When Corey saw that I was going to take a shot at it he said, "You're dreaming!" I agreed, but I knelt down to rest my elbow on my knee, took a wild guess on how high above the crow to hold, pulled the trigger, and 1 or 2 seconds later we saw the crow split in half and fall in two pieces. I was just as shocked as he was. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 6:06:31 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: that actually doesn't look as bad as I would have thought. I have to LOL at the "Functional Cigarette Lighter!" though. Every 7 year old SSN commander needs to be able to easily light his coffin nails as he is contemplating how best to launch his Polaris missiles at the enemy. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that. http://oi68.tinypic.com/r92vew.jpg http://oi65.tinypic.com/152ouf6.jpg that actually doesn't look as bad as I would have thought. I have to LOL at the "Functional Cigarette Lighter!" though. Every 7 year old SSN commander needs to be able to easily light his coffin nails as he is contemplating how best to launch his Polaris missiles at the enemy. Chris Elliott ordered it as a child it finally showed up when he was in his 30s he calks up his shower to submerge it and nearly drowns |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 6:08:33 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It was from the "Get A Life " TV series Chris Elliott ordered it as a child it finally showed up when he was in his 30s he calks up his shower to submerge it and nearly drowns Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I remember the ads. Never ordered one, though... I'd learned my comicbook mailorder lesson a long time before that. http://oi68.tinypic.com/r92vew.jpg http://oi65.tinypic.com/152ouf6.jpg that actually doesn't look as bad as I would have thought. I have to LOL at the "Functional Cigarette Lighter!" though. Every 7 year old SSN commander needs to be able to easily light his coffin nails as he is contemplating how best to launch his Polaris missiles at the enemy. Chris Elliott ordered it as a child it finally showed up when he was in his 30s he calks up his shower to submerge it and nearly drowns Great episode. Loves when his dad starts slapping him.  |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 6:50:25 PM EDT
[#33]
Yes, I remember filling those order forms out, but then never could get an adult to help me actually complete the order process.
What was that other bull shit in the back of comic books showing off all the "prizes" you could win and the number of points needed, if you sold product for their company? |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 6:54:28 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes, I remember filling those order forms out, but then never could get an adult to help me actually complete the order process. What was that other bull shit in the back of comic books showing off all the "prizes" you could win and the number of points needed, if you sold product for their company? I did that as a kid. I want to say it was called the Olympia greeting card company or something like that. I grew up in the country so going door to door meant giving my bike a hell of a workout. I ended up getting the Nintendo game I wanted(Double Dragon 2) it wasnt till I was older and going through some of my old comics from childhood that I re read the print on those ads. If I had taken The cash option I could have purchased the game at walmart and still had somewhere around 10-15 bucks left over. 
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Posted: 7/5/2016 6:55:50 PM EDT
[#35]
I had one of those. I believe mine was the uzi. Like everyone else, I didn't bother to order another one after I figured out what a huge piece of shit it was.
Not available in New York City... LOL |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 6:56:10 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes, I remember filling those order forms out, but then never could get an adult to help me actually complete the order process. What was that other bull shit in the back of comic books showing off all the "prizes" you could win and the number of points needed, if you sold product for their company? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes, I remember filling those order forms out, but then never could get an adult to help me actually complete the order process. What was that other bull shit in the back of comic books showing off all the "prizes" you could win and the number of points needed, if you sold product for their company? That reminds me of the "Grit" newspaper, which my older sister used to sell when she was about 12 years old: During the first three-quarters of the 20th century, Grit was sold across the country by children and teenagers, many recruited by ads in comic books from the 1940s to the 1970s. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 7:15:47 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Not available in New York City... LOL That's funny in hindsight, given that you could do more damage with a peashooter or a rubber band gun, but when I was a kid looking at those ads I figured that if it was illegal in NYC it must be the real deal. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 10:03:40 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Mine was nothing more than a toy. Flinging a rubber band was more dangerous. I wonder if some models worked better than others. Do you remember how the firing mechanism worked in the ones you had? Not only was the firing mechanism ridiculous in mine, but the pellets didn't even fit tightly in the barrel, nor even sort of tightly. The barrel might as well not have been there at all, because it did nothing. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I do. I hade the colt woodsman and the luger versions. I had fun with them. This was in the early to mid 90's. Mine was nothing more than a toy. Flinging a rubber band was more dangerous. I wonder if some models worked better than others. Do you remember how the firing mechanism worked in the ones you had? Not only was the firing mechanism ridiculous in mine, but the pellets didn't even fit tightly in the barrel, nor even sort of tightly. The barrel might as well not have been there at all, because it did nothing. The Luger loaded from a magazine in the grip. Spring action. It fired those orange pellets that were round in front and tapered in the back. The woodsman shot round silver plastic balls. Both worked pretty well if I remember. Wish I still had mine. |
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Posted: 7/5/2016 10:07:51 PM EDT
[#39]
I ordered these and was sorely disappointed.
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Posted: 7/5/2016 10:15:02 PM EDT
[#40]
I still have the 10rnd clip from the "Commando" type machine pistol.
My mom warned me that I wasn't going to get what I expected. 
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Posted: 7/5/2016 11:50:45 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I still have the 10rnd clip from the "Commando" type machine pistol. Nice; you should post a picture of it. I wonder if anyone here still has the whole gun. Does anyone know if that "Commando" one was supposed to look like anything in particular, or is it just something they pulled out of their ass? The only thing I can think of is a STEN because of the side-mounted magazine, but the STEN was quite a bit longer and didn't usually have a pistol grip (this one does though). |
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Posted: 7/6/2016 12:30:03 AM EDT
[#42]
I wanted that commando pistol yet my Brother and I knew my Parents would confiscate it when it arrived. I would really like to see some pictures posted.
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